Page 30 of Something Like Sugar (Pine Forest Something #2)

SHANA

N ot bad, Campbell. But remember your form. It helps in the turns.”

“I knew it was gonna come back to my form.”

Dustin’s smile grows, as he plays along with my teasing antics on the video Lemon has watched on loop.

“Look how good my pizza position is now, though.”

“It’s called third position for the fiftieth time. You’re such a goof.”

I cringe at my girly giggle in the recording and cast an embarrassed look at Lem, but she hasn’t moved her eyes off the phone screen since I admitted to my late-night meetings with Dustin and agreed to show her even a sliver of what we are.

It was harder to hide from her. She’s at my house whenever I’m not, taking care of Dad.

Not going to lie, it feels good opening up to Lemon, even if it is about feelings and emotions.

She’s been here for most of them, even if I did think I was doing a decent job of keeping them zipped in my hoodie pockets.

“I love him for you.” Lemon beams. “I still can’t believe that is Dustin Campbell giggling and dancing with you on there. Never would have thunk it.”

“I know he’s not normally like vibrant and everything, but he’s different with me. It’s like…” I trail off in thought as I wander to the sugar plum plant by the window and pour in its daily dose of vitamin water. “He brings out the beauty in life, even the droopy, dark parts of it.”

“And again, I still can’t believe he was lowkey stalking you and sending you notes and plants and…anything else I missed?” She narrows her eyes accusatorily.

I guess I get it. I wasn’t exactly open about what Dustin and I had in our pasts with my bestie. Any of my besties.

“Probably.” I sigh. “I’m sorry I have a hard time opening up to people.” Dad and I talk in riddles most of the time, neither of us wanting to face the reality that life has felt half of its worth since Mom. I’m not sure why I feel the need to explain this to Lemon.

Am I overcompensating?

This need to apologize to Lemon right now, this guilt for holding a secret…it has everything to do with my other best friend. The one who shares eyes with the man I see forever with. Anxiety twists that I haven’t told Devyn anything about me and her brother. Even after all we’ve been through.

It’s not that I don’t think she’d approve, but isn’t it best to tell her when her life isn’t so complicated? Isn’t it my job as her friend to keep her mental health cushioned?

Or are Dustin and I wrong for thinking she needs sheltering.

Sheltering is exactly the thing that’s held me back. And anyway, just because my life is all over the place, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve to share this with us.

Devyn’s text from earlier today burns the inside of my eyelids every time I close them.

DEV: What’cha up to this weekend?

ME: Business Conference, one of the fancy award ones you came to that one time!

DEV: Bet you won again, you dance diva!

ME: Just a little. Angel Emoji

DEV : Super jelly! Dustin’s mysteriously away this weekend, too, and Hunter’s moving a herd of cattle with the 4H kids. I’m gonna be bored out of my mind if Jeremy’s working. Send pics to keep me busy!

I want to tell her he’s with me. Your brother is with me this weekend, and I hope forever.

I love him permanently, just like I love my best friend. And that means this secret can’t last.

Lemon elbows me. “Did he send you all of these?” She holds handfuls of folded paper notes, some old but most of them new, spilling from my old music box.

More of them fall from my purse that’s upturned on the bed.

“Not gonna lie, babe, I know it’s Dustin and that eases my mind, but this is a bit obsessive.

Even for a familiar stalker. Don’t you think?

” She unfolds one and reads it off. I remember it from a few weeks ago.

But of course, she’d choose the creepiest one. They aren’t all like that.

“It’s sweet.” I shrug, plucking back the crumpled parchment that says, “Eye love you” and smiling as I remember the way I undressed in front of my window that very night.

“‘ Watching you. Are you watching me, too?’ isn’t creepy, Shay? Come on, you know that one is out right weird.”

“Okay, well, yeah, I did kind of get shivers with that one, but it’s also part of this game we play.

I used to get little notes on my doorstep and in my mailbox as a kid…

I suppose I always knew it was him. It’s morphed though, Lem, it’s more now…

” I stop talking and widen my eyes, but she narrows hers and urges me on. “Kink.”

“Oh my God!” Lemon jumps from my bed. “You didn’t? You did! Ohmygod it was your first time, wasn’t it?”

I nod, still mortified I’m opening up about it to anyone but feeling so very free now that I have. Giddy, even, and I can’t stop the redness spreading over my face and chest.

“Don’t be embarrassed, Shay! That’s amazing. Plus, we all knew you were a virgin. You’re obvious about it.”

“Rude!” I throw a bathing suit at her and laugh. “Well, anyway, it was amazing despite painful…why don’t they tell you how sore you’ll be the day after? It was almost worse than the taking of the cherry event altogether.”

Lemon snorts and falls over in laughter.

“You did not just refer to your de-virginizing as if it were a fantastical Midsomer event, did you? Your father has you reading too many classics. I’m gonna start filtering in some of my smut.

” She removes my one piece and throws a tiny, red bikini into my suitcase and winks.

“Now that you’re a whore and all, you can wear this in the hot tub at the hotel. He likes you in red, remember?”

“Ahhh stop! You’re so bad.” I shake my head, grinning wide. “Horrible influence.” I toss the red Lou Boutin’s into the bag with the sports illustrated looking suit and wink. “Definitely shouldn’t pair it with these at all.”

“You’re worse than me, now! I’ve created a monster!”

We spend the afternoon choosing outfits and formal wear for the weekend Dustin and I are just days away from finally sharing at the beach. Most of it will be in the hotel, at the gala and conference, but the bits in between…those are the ones I’m most excited about.

Something has been unleashed within me. A sexual awakening, but more than that. It’s this feeling, like…for years now, I’ve been putting my happiness to the side for Dad’s sake because he needed me. He never asked for it. In fact, all he’s ever wanted for me was love.

“Hey babe, I hate to burst the happy little bubble you’re blowing right now…yes, pun intended.” She winks again, and I roll my eyes. “But you are on birth control, right? It’s your business and all, it’s just, I didn’t know if you considered that, being a recent cherry-owner and all.”

“Yes, Mom.” I sit back beside her on the bed and nudge her with my shoulder.

“I’ve been on a progesterone tablet for years, but you’re smart to ask.

I suppose most non-sexually active people aren’t on something, but I get cysts if I’m not.

Sometimes even when I am. This helps.” I toss her the little blue packet from my purse pocket.

“Good!” Lemon smiles widely. “I just wanted to make sure. The last thing you need is a surprise you didn’t want. My mom…well, I was a surprise she didn’t consider. She maybe should have thought about that.”

“I’m sorry, Lem. I didn’t know.” I touch her hand.

“It’s all right. Super rich Dad who compensates for her lack of appearances with money, so it’s all good, right?

” She tosses her hair over her shoulder, and I can tell she’s done, so I drop it for now.

“But we weren’t talking about me, we were talking about you and your new reason for contraceptives.

” She wiggles her eyebrows dramatically, and the irony isn’t lost on my sense of humor.

“Dustin was there when I got my first period. It’s so awkward thinking back, but…”

“But what?!” Lemon gasps, sitting up straight on the bed. “Don’t stop the story when it’s juicy!”

I cringe. “Don’t say juicy when I’m talking about periods.”

“Fair,” she snorts.

“We kissed that day. My first kiss.” I smile, twirling a strand of hair around my finger; a lovestruck cliché.

“All right, I’ve had it,” Lemon says finally.

“This is so sickeningly cute and perfect, I can’t stand it anymore.

I’m shipping you. You’re shipped. You are meant to be together forever and ever, and the stars have spoken to you for decades.

” She scrolls her phone and her eyes sparkle as she lifts them to meet mine, the glow lighting her face.

“A Taurus and a Virgo. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before, it makes so much sense. You’re destined.”

“Okay, Madame Psychic, take it easy. It’s just a new relationship with a guy I’ve liked my whole life who happens to awaken me sexually and help me with therapy and is sinfully good with his tongue…”

“Mhm. He’s helping you with therapy? Sex therapy?”

“Grief counseling!” I throw a pillow at her, and we both giggle as a bashful heat overcomes me. “He’s kind of storybook perfect, huh?”

“Sounds like it, babe. Make sure you two get some alone time between the work stuff, got it? All work and no lay makes me sad for you.”

I laugh, but a tension forms in my shoulders when she checks Dad’s video monitor.

Should I really leave him for the whole weekend? What if he takes a turn for the worse and I’m not here for him? How selfish would I be if I were off waffle-coning my stalker at a fancy gala while he’s breathing his last breath, needing me ?

“Stop.” Lemon snaps her fingers in my face, perfectly painted a light shade of lavender to match her witchy eyes. Ones that pin me in place, like the mother I no longer have. The one I need right now.

A true friend.

“Live your life before it passes you by, Shay. It’s what your father wants.

It’s what I want. And babe?” She tosses a lacy teddy she procured from seemingly nowhere into my bag and zips it up with a grin.

“It’s what you need. Now get your cute little emo butt to the studio, and if nothing goes wrong, by this time tomorrow, you and Dusty boy will be tangled in fancy hotel sheets with an ocean view, while your father and I enjoy a riveting Benedict Cumberpatch rendition of Much Ado About Nothing.

Again .” She scrunches her nose and we both laugh.

She’s right.

What could go wrong?