Page 81 of Something Like Forever
“This isn’t the firsttime.”
“No,it’s not.” Jace sighed. “There are rules. I don’t make them,believe me. You have to understand that we’re not supposed tointerfere too much. We can try to nudge people in the rightdirection, but we’re not allowed to appear and tell people who theyshould vote for. Unfortunately. You can imagine how much trouble itwould cause if the dead were allowed to meddle with the living, sothere are systems in place. Even if some of us choose to cheatand—oh, I don’t know—contact the person they are supposed to bewatching over, even when it’s not an emergency.” Jace cleared histhroat. “If that were to happen, theoretically of course, theliving still won’t remember. A person might wake up with hazymemories of having dreamed about the dead, but the importantdetails are lost. By design.”
“Sowe’ve done this before?”
“We have. Yes.”
Ben looked up at him, onthe verge of tears again. “How many times have we had this exactconversation?”
“Itdoesn’t matter,” Jace said with a chuckle. “I’ll never tire ofhearing your voice.”
“How manytimes?”
“Hundreds. We must be getting close to breaking into thethousands.”
Ben squeezed his hand.“You’ve been gone for ten years. Is it every singlenight?”
“No,”Jace said firmly. “That wouldn’t be healthy for you. At thebeginning, I visited too often. I think that made it harder for youto move on.”
“Sowhat?” Ben said, his laughter hollow.
“I don’twant you waiting for me,” Jace said. “That’s my burden. I’ll waitfor you. And before you ask, yes, I know about Tim, and yes, I’mfine with it. I’m happy in fact. And since you won’t remember thisanyway, I’m not exactly alone here. Do you rememberVictor?”
Ben stared at him. Then hemade sure his expression was believably angry. “You swine! You’vegot some nerve! You show up—on mybirthday—to tell me that you’re fine withTim, when really, you just wanted to clear your own consciencebecause you’re screwing around?”
“I’m not screwing aroundon you!” Jace protested.
“Ohreally? Last time I checked, you’re still married to me. Unless yougot remarried? Is that what happened? You and Victor had some sortof afterlife wedding?”
“You’re one to talk!” Jacesaid. Then he peered at him and laughed. “You almost had me.Almost.”
Ben grinned. “I missyou.”
“I missyou too,” Jace said, putting an arm around him and pulling himcloser.
“Youknow the best thing about this? You’re my dream guy now.Literally.”
Jace laughed. “I suppose Iam!”
“Isn’tthis tedious for you?” Ben asked. “The same conversation over andover again?”
“It’sonly the beginning that stays the same; your reaction and me havingto explain things. The joke you just made, that was new. So was youteasing me about Victor.” Jace rubbed a hand up and down his arm.“I’ve got it easy, to be honest. I’m still allowed to look in onyou when I want, although it’s hard when I want to say things toyou, or reply when you speak to me.”
“You hear me when I talkto you?” Ben said.
“I’m going to say no thistime, but only so I don’t have to see you cry anymore. It’s yourbirthday! I want you to be happy.”
“This isme happy,” Ben said, wiping away tears. “Trust me. This is justabout the best present ever.”
“Just about?”” Jaceteased. “I’ll have to try harder next year.”
“Maybe bring Samson withyou,” Ben said, intending it as a joke, but then he looked overhopefully. “Can you?”
“One visitor at a time,”Jace said, shaking his head. “Sorry. He’s busy making his ownrounds.”
“How long do we have?” Benasked.
“Notvery,” Jace said. “I bend the rules as much as I can. If I everfind a way to break them, I will. For you.”
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