Page 4 of Someone Like You

Casimir

I paced my office back and pulled my fingers through my meticulously groomed beard.

With one hand in my trouser pocket and the other fingering the screen of my phone, I released a frustrated sigh.

Bethany had sent me a text message about an event we needed to attend tonight.

Another night of fake smiles, fake breasts, and fake people crowded into a room to determine whose bank account was bigger while everyone was trying to coax a favor out of someone else.

I hated these things even more than my father had.

Yet, the difference was General Perez embraced the duties that were placed upon him; to me, it was an unnecessary requirement.

More often, I found myself wondering how I had lost control of my life and how I could regain it.

These thoughts had come more frequently when I started visiting Dr. Giselle Champagne.

Several thoughts had popped into my head since my sessions with her.

Thoughts I wouldn’t have dared thought before.

Grimacing, I thought about the one thing I had withheld from the doctor.

My marriage was an arrangement made by my father and Bethany’s father.

True, Bethany had been enamored with me upon meeting me, but the feeling had not been mutual.

She was a beautiful woman, one I found myself attracted to, but she was nothing more than a passing interest.

She was someone that I wouldn’t have minded fucking and then going on about my business. She was someone who would have been forgettable had it not been for who she was. My mistake had been asking her out on a date, followed by another one a week later, all with the intention of fucking her.

Upon learning of his daughter’s feelings for me, Senator Bradwell hopped on the opportunity to take advantage of what he perceived as a winning situation.

My father, an Army general, had also seen the advantage for himself in a union between the two families, and despite my mother, Judy’s, warnings, my father had coerced me into fostering a relationship with the woman and convinced me that it would be to my advantage in the long run.

My father was a man whom I respected and admired.

He was also a man whom I obeyed and never challenged or argued with my entire life.

I had no need. I was always assured that my father had my best interest at heart, and he never led me astray.

Even though he was a general, he was also my best friend growing up.

With all the moving that we did, I was close to my father, and he understood it was hard for me to build life-long friendships until my teen years.

My journey to marrying Beth had been a swift one, dating for five months before becoming engaged and being married within ten months of my meeting her.

The only advantage the marriage had brought to me was my bank account.

Although I had not fallen in love with her initially, I had grown to love her over time.

Unfortunately for me, that love had not been reciprocated.

Placing the ringing phone up to my ear, I stopped in front of the picture window behind my desk. Staring out into the park across the street, I found myself wishing for simpler times.

“Yes, Casimir.” Bethany sounded annoyed.

I sighed. “I got your text. No, I won’t be available tonight for the dinner.” I held my breath and prepared for the onslaught.

“What do you mean you won’t be available? You have no choice, Casimir. You owe me!”

Clenching my teeth, I balled my fist in my pocket. “I owe you nothing. You’re my wife. You owe honor to our vows. All I’ve ever asked for was your love, Beth. I’m not your damn do-boy.”

“Would you stop with that uneducated, lowbrow rhetoric that you use? This isn’t about love. I’ve given you my love on my terms, Casimir. You knew what this was when we said our vows, and you were okay with it.”

“You treat this marriage as nothing more than a business arrangement, Beth. And if that was how you felt, why would you even bother to force us to go to counseling? At first, I thought you did it because you really cared, because you wanted us to work, Beth. But you don’t.”

“I do care, Casimir. I do want us to work. I had hoped that by attending counseling, you would come to see the light and understand your role in this marriage and the importance of upholding a commitment that we made to one another and our fathers. Unfortunately, it seems as if you’ve become more aloof since attending counseling.

Now, I don’t know what you think you’re planning to do tonight, but you had better be at that dinner, or you will have both of our fathers to answer to. ”

“Bethany,” I growled, seething into the phone. “Bethany?” I repeated. Receiving no answer, I pulled the phone away from my face, only to find it was set to the home screen. She had hung up on me.

Swirling around in a circle, it took all my energy not to throw the phone at a wall and break it.

This was what she did to me. This was how she left me feeling.

She was no good for me, and it was about time I did something about it.

I had had enough of pleasing my father and enough of kissing her family’s ass.

I had no desire to do anything else tonight, but I did not want to attend the dinner.

It was another political function to raise money for an upcoming politician.

It was all a joke. My presence wasn’t necessary.

Bethany had no problem writing a check, and she surely did not need me by her side to do it.

No, it was always about image. That was all it boiled down to for her, her parents, and my father.

Fingering the phone again, I dialed another number. This time, I regained control of my emotions.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Ma.”

“Casimir, hi, baby. How’re you?”

I blew out a breath and walked around to the couch sitting across from my desk. Lying back on it, I propped my feet up on the armrest at the other end. Throwing one arm over my forehead, I spoke calmly into the phone.

“It’s time, Ma.”

“Casimir, baby, you know it’s not that easy. You took vows, Casimir, for better or worse. Walking away from your marriage is not an option, unless, of course, it becomes physically abusive or volatile in some way. She hasn’t resorted to that, now has she?” my mother asked in a strained voice.

Of course, she would suspect Bethany of abusive behavior before she ever suspected me. They had raised me to be patient, loving, kind, and a gentleman above all.

“No, Ma. I’d leave before I allowed it to go that far.

I just need to bring it all to an end. I need to get my life back, Ma.

Everything I ever did was to please Dad.

If he’s not proud of me by now, I don’t know what to tell him.

I have to become my own man and live my life according to what I believe and feel.

The choices and decisions I’m about to make will upset him and place a strain on his and Rob’s relationship. ”

“Oh, honey, you just leave your father to me. As for the great Senator, Kim will handle him. She was never fond of this arrangement and never had an issue vocalizing her opinions on it. Suits me just fine, anyway.”

“Why’s that, Ma?” I chuckled, knowing her answer.

“Bougie black folks are hard enough to stomach, but entitled white people? Now that’s another level entirely.”

I shared a laugh with my mother before growing quiet.

“What’s wrong, Son?”

“I could deal with everything, even the fact that she doesn’t really love me.”

“Oh, I think she loves you. I just think she loves you the only way she’s ever been taught to express it, which is by showering you with gifts.

She gives you things and opens doors for you, and that’s how she expresses her love.

Learning your heart, what makes you tick, and the things that you care about don’t occur to her because she’s never seen those values modeled in her life.

Although your father and I have had our share of disputes throughout the years, we’ve always loved one another and never been afraid to express it. ”

“Yeah, well, it’s not what I want.”

“But it is what you signed on for,” Mama reminded me.

“That’s true, but there are other things that I didn’t. Things that I don’t want to compromise on.”

“Like what, Son?”

I knew she picked up on the resignation in my tone. “I want children, Ma. I want to start a family.”

“So does she, or at least that’s what you’ve expressed to me in the past. Something’s changed?”

“Not really. Some things are better left unsaid. But now that everything’s about to fall apart at the seams, I might as well tell you.

Beth never wanted kids; it was just something she said to everyone because it was expected of her.

She finally agreed to start a family, but not the traditional way,” I said, sitting up.

“The traditional way?”

“She wants to hire a surrogate mother because she’s afraid of what bearing children might do to her body,” I explained dryly.

My mother did not respond with words. A simple sigh was all she would allow herself. I rubbed my hand down my face, and then I pulled my hand away to stare at my wedding ring.

“I don’t know what I’ve done, Ma. But sometimes, it feels as if I’ve sold my soul to the devil.”

“Don’t you say that. Listen, I know that your heart is good. Perhaps if you work harder or really open up to her, maybe she’ll have a change of heart. I thought the two of you were going to counseling. What happened with that?”

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing away the image of Dr. Giselle Champagne and those sexy little suits and elegant African attire she wore. As was always the case, I felt myself growing excited at the mere thought of her.

“Well, when the tables turned on her, and she started having to answer for herself, you know she gave up. So, she hasn’t been going. I honestly don’t think it would have done us some good.”

“Casimir, maybe it would’ve, maybe it wouldn’t’ve.

Who knows? What I’m concerned about is what this is going to do to your career.

Will they keep you on at Glenco or find a way to terminate you?

I just want to make sure that you’ve thought this all out in detail.

You have a lot to lose leaving Bethany, Casimir. ”

“And I’ve even more to lose if I stay, Ma,” I countered, standing up from the couch and walking back to the picture window. My sanity and independence weren’t all I would lose if I stayed in this marriage. I just might lose myself altogether.