Page 12 of Solid

“Nah, man.” I had to pause because the tears that wanted to fall made my voice thick with emotion. “Get whatever y’all want, and don’t worry about the cost.”

“Really?” Mateo confirmed, perking up.

“Yeah. What you want?”

He ran down their order—nuggets and fries for Miley and nuggets, a cheeseburger, and fries for himself. I ended up getting a twenty piece for them to share, two cheeseburgers, and two large fries. Once I got him home and them settled with the food, I did a grocery order for delivery and decided to pull up on Jayla so she could help me with this situation. We hadn’t really been talking since the kiss. I wanted to force the conversation, but I knew she’d shut down, so I’d been waiting for her to process what happened. Now, I could no longer be on her time.

I texted her and told her I’d be pulling up soon and that the situation was too important to be buried under what was currently going on with us. Once the food was delivered, I toldthe kids I’d be back as soon as possible, then headed to Jayla’s place.

My text must have delivered the urgency of the situation, because when I arrived, her door was unlocked. I found her pacing in the living room when I walked inside.

“Hey,” she said, looking at me with hopeful eyes. “Is everything okay?”

“No, not at all.” I walked over to her, needing to have her in my arms. “I can’t take you hiding from me anymore, pooh.”

“Kayne, I?—”

“I kept my distance because you’re denying me of you, like every part of me doesn’t belong to you. I don’t know how to be around you and not look at you like I own you, because I want to. I want you to belong to me.” She opened her mouth to respond but I continued. “But I can’t focus on that right now, so whatever fear has made you punish me with the lack of your presence, it can win for a little while longer. We have a more pressing issue to deal with.”

She took my hand and led me to the couch. “What happened?” I told her about what happened, and the more I talked, the more her emotions shifted. Shock, sadness,rage. By the time I was done, tears had filled and fell from her eyes. “Those poor babies. We have to dosomething, pookie.”

“We will. I’m not letting up off them now. I ordered groceries, so I’m going to cook dinner for them tonight, but I’m hoping I can get in touch with one of their family members so they can keep them until Sonny gets home. And when he does, he gon’ have to see me.”

“Let’s go. I’ll help you cook, and we can make a few calls.”

Nodding my agreement, we stood and headed out of her apartment. I regretted not getting involved sooner and giving Sonny the benefit of the doubt, but now, that shit wasover.

Three Days Later

I’d asked Kayne to come over so we could talk. Handling things for Miley and Mateo pulled us back in each other’s orbit without us having to face the shift that had happened between us when he kissed me.

Kayne kissed me.

Worse?

I liked it and wanted more.

I spiraled for a while over what that kiss meant and wasn’t sure I was ready for that conversation. Though both Kayne and I were in tune with our emotions, he was more willing to have the difficult or awkward talks while I had a habit of shutting down while I processed things. Words couldn’t express how grateful Iwas for him giving me space, but I also couldn’t deny I’d been missing him like crazy—intimately.

We’d been texting over the past two weeks but not like we usually do, and he didn’t pop up on me like he used to. Even over the last three days after he told me about Miley and Mateo, our conversations just revolved around them. I wanted my friend back, and I knew it was on me to make that happen.

Miley and Mateo were with their grandmother for now. We called her Saturday, and she made it seem as if she had no idea Sonny was out of town or that he was struggling with the kids. She asked us if we could keep them that night while she got her house together to receive them, and we agreed with no hesitation. I appreciated that she trusted us with them. The next morning, we took the kids to church and to have lunch before dropping them off with her.

Last I checked, she’d called her son, and when he heard she had them, he extended his trip. While I could understand his need to take a vacation, I was appalled by his audacity. Sonny was relieved that we’d stepped in and sent the kids to his mother as if that wasn’t something he should have done from the beginning.

I couldn’t help but ask her why she didn’t have a more prominent role in their lives, and she told me that was the way it had always been. I told her she could call me if she needed anything and prayed Sonny would come home soon. Regardless of when he came, I firmly believed there was nothing anyone would be able to do to keep Kayne from going to see him.

As excited as I was to see Kayne, when his light taps sounded against the door, I hesitated briefly before going to let him in. More than anything, I was nervous about us fucking our friendship up. Then again, we hadn’t even talked about taking things to the next level, so I felt like I was prematurely overreacting. Sure, we kissed, but we hadn’t committed to eachother. Who knows? Maybe my reaction to things made him change his mind about wanting me anyway.

When I opened the door, I couldn’t help but smile. Kayne looked good as always. During the summertime, I saw him dressed more casually. When school was in, he wore a suit Monday through Friday and on Sundays for church. As good as he looked in them, I also appreciated the sight of him in jeans, Nikes, and a T-shirt.

“Hey,” he said, stepping into my apartment.

“Hi.”

“What made you call?”

Deciding to be honest, I admitted, “My thoughts of you are no longer enough. I need the real thing.”