Page 46 of Sold to the Single Daddies (Southern Heat Reverse Harems #4)

Mills

Sitting outside of Maxie’s house with a six-pack of beer and Hank Williams playing on the radio, I was about as low as I’d ever been. Three days. It’d been three days since I’d seen Reagan. Those three days felt like three different lifetimes.

I was bleary eyed and exhausted after staying up all night, watching Reagan’s window.

I saw her light go off around nine. It came on multiple times through the night and I could picture her getting up with Lucky like I was in the room with them.

I hated whatever curtains Maxie had hung up in that room because I couldn’t catch sight of even a shadow of Reagan.

I was desperate to catch a glimpse of her, desperate enough to camp out at the end of Maxie’s driveway like a fucking creep.

I didn’t have anything else to do. I couldn’t face my brothers.

I couldn’t face Jolene, or Mason, or any of the other ranch hands who’d come to like seeing Reagan and Lucky around the ranch.

It was my fault she was gone. I’d cost my brothers everything.

I could see the anger in their eyes, even when they tried to hide it.

We all knew it was my fault. I led the fucking charge into the diner to confront Reagan and our sisters.

I was the asshole who accused Reagan of trying to break up our family.

I didn’t even know where the accusation came from.

It was like every fucking issue I’d ever had came out when she was concerned.

I’d never realized I had issues with trusting women.

I’d never taken a relationship seriously, or even attempted to have one, but there was something about Reagan that brought out the worst of me.

She scared me. I knew I didn’t deserve her but it was too late for my heart to back off.

She had so much power over my health and happiness and it scared the shit out of me.

I downed another beer and closed my eyes.

I could only see the pain on Reagan’s face when I did, though.

The pain and then the determination to leave and have better.

I forced my eyes open again and flinched in surprise when I saw Maxie riding up to my window on Bob.

I didn’t want to face her. I’d let her down, too.

I was starting to wonder if there was anyone I didn’t let down.

Needing some fresh air, I got out of the truck and leaned against it.

“Maxie.”

She looked down at me and sighed.

“You look terrible.”

Nodding, I held my hands out and looked down at myself. I wasn’t sure what day my clothes were on but I could smell myself and it wasn’t good.

“Yep.”

She climbed off of Bob and leaned on the truck next to me.

“You’re acting a little creepy, Mills.”

I nodded again. “Yep.”

She sighed and turned to face me.

“What happened?”

I let out a bitter laugh.

“I fucked everything up. I said horrible shit to her and then I accused her of trying to break up our family. You heard that part.”

“I did.” She was quiet for a few moments and then she grunted. “You know…It shouldn’t be surprising that you’re fucked up, too, Mills. Our parents did a number on all of us. Some more than others, of course, but I don’t think you escaped unscathed.”

Scowling, I turned to her and shook my head.

“They never did anything to me. They treated us boys like gods. I don’t have an excuse for being this way, Max.”

“You’ve taken a lot of hard hits over the last few years.

When everything came out about how Mom treated me, you took it hard.

I know you still feel guilty about it, like you should’ve saved me somehow.

” She crossed her arms and looked out at the ranch.

“I was angry at you for a while. I let you blame yourself. It wasn’t your fault, though, Mills.

You weren’t there. And when you came back, you took on the role our parents made for you.

You were always the workhorse. You did everything for them and they promised you everything in return. ”

“You should be angry at me, Maxie. You should fucking hate me. I hate me. I treated you like shit. If anyone was treated like a workhorse, it was you. I never stopped to appreciate you and I need you to know I’m sorry.

Your absence at the ranch was fucking gutting for a while. I never knew how much you did.”

“Why aren’t you mad at them, Mills?” She saw me getting ready to argue and cut me off. “Not for me or for Nellie. For you. Why aren’t you mad at them for yourself?”

My eyebrows slammed together.

“Why would I be mad at them for me?”

She laughed.

“Mills, Jesus Christ. They promised you the ranch and forced you to give up any life you might’ve wanted away from this place.

They tied you to that place and then they ran it into the ground without ever mentioning to you that they were saddling you with debt out of the ass and more work than you could ever handle.

I saw the paperwork when you first took over.

I saw you sitting up for hours every night, drinking yourself into a stupor while trying to make sense of everything.

They lied to you. You should be furious with them for that. ”

I shook my head.

“No. I had a bad couple of weeks in the beginning but I handled it.”

“It was the entire first year, Mills. I watched you.” She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “You never told anyone else back then. Not even West and Tate. Have you ever told them?”

“No.” How could I? How could I tell them we’d been betrayed by our parents? Our parents had promised us the ranch but when I came home, they’d been parceling it out for gambling money. I’d fought day in and day out to get the land back and I was still struggling to pay off their debts.

“You didn’t escape our parents without your own trauma.

You’ve been a brick wall with everyone since that time.

You shut down.” Maxie let out a slow sigh and then wrapped her arms around me.

“I didn’t see it until I watched you try to sabotage your chances with Reagan.

I don’t know if you’re scared to let someone in for fear of being betrayed again or if you’re just so hardened now that you can’t let people in.

Either way, you have to figure your shit out. ”

I let out a low laugh even as my eyes filled with tears.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything, Maxie. I should’ve been better. I should’ve taken better care of you. I want to make it right. I want to come to family dinners.”

“I’m sorry for all of us being so inconsiderate. We should’ve been inviting you, Tate, and West, the whole time. Reagan made sure we saw how much we messed up on that front.” Maxie pulled back and scrunched her nose up. “You stink. You need to go home and take a shower.”

“Is she okay?” I looked towards the house and searched desperately for a sign of her. “We’re supposed to pick up Lucky later today. I’ll go home and shower before then.”

“She’s about as good as you. I have to believe that if y’all play your cards right, you can win her back. I want it to work out, Mills. Figure out your issues and win her back.”

I scrubbed my hands down my face and nodded.

“Yeah… Yeah, I’ll do that.”

She looked in the truck at the empty beer cans and sighed.

“I’ll have one of the guys drive you home. No more parking out here, getting drunk. I don’t want people to think we have a pervert in the family.”