Page 43 of Sold to the Single Daddies (Southern Heat Reverse Harems #4)

Reagan

I got lucky when I ran into Jolene as soon as I stepped out of the diner. She took one look at me, one look past me into the diner, and swore. I didn’t even have to ask her for a ride. She just pointed at her truck and helped me get Lucky’s carrier locked in before driving away from town.

“You okay?”

I let out a watery laugh.

“I don’t know.”

“That’s a no, then.” She sighed heavily. “They mean well. They’re just idiots. If it makes a difference, I don’t think anything happened with that flower bitch, Melanie. Not for her lack of trying, either. Mills only has eyes for you.”

I stared out the window as the fields passed by.

“Maybe so. He doesn’t really see me, though, Jolene.

I’ve told all three of them about how desperately I want a family and always have.

I told them all about being raised in the system and fighting to save Mason when I found out about him.

Family means something to me. It’s the reason I came here to find them and stayed even when they were assholes.

I fought for them tonight. I told their sisters to stop leaving them out and I was making progress.

Because I see how much it hurts them and I care.

Then they came in and accused me of trying to keep their family apart. ”

She swore again. “Fucking idiots.”

I looked down at Lucky and sniffed.

“Maybe I’ve been so desperate to give Lucky a happy family with his dads that I’ve ignored the obvious. They don’t really care about me. Not really. If they did, they never could’ve accused me of that. Mills was right, I guess. I have been desperate.”

“He called you desperate?”

“It doesn’t matter. I can’t do this, Jolene.

I can’t keep hoping and crossing my fingers that I’m somehow going to get the happy ending that Nellie, Vera, and Maxie got.

The sex is good, but that’s about it. You can’t build a healthy family on that.

They think the worst of me over and over again.

” I sniffed again, trying to contain my tears.

“Maybe they’re right, sometimes. The way I reacted to seeing Mills hugging Melanie wasn’t great.

I was jealous and I lashed out. That’s not healthy, either.

This whole thing has been unhealthy but I’ve just been hoping and praying they were it for me. ”

Jolene reached across the small truck to hold my hand. “I—”

“Will you take me to the bunkhouse, Jolene? I need to talk to Mason.”

“Of course. And then what?”

“And then I’m going to pack up and go. I can’t stay in that house with them for another night, playing family like everything’s great.

It’s too hard.” I stroked Lucky’s cheek.

“I’ll write out some sort of plan for us sharing Lucky before I go.

I don’t want to keep them apart. No matter what they say or think.

They’re good dads. They love Lucky and he loves them. ”

“Reagan…Maybe stay at the bunkhouse for a night or two? Sort everything out before you leave. Those guys are stupid but I think they care about you.” Jolene heard me grunt and rushed on.

“I’ve never seen them act the way they do with you.

I would’ve sworn they loved you if you’d asked me this morning, Reagan. ”

“And now?”

She let out a bone deep sigh.

“I still think they love you. I just think they love sabotaging themselves more.”

“You know I love them?” When she nodded, I had to wipe tears from my cheeks. “I do. I love them so much. I wish it mattered.”

The rest of the drive was quiet. She drove me straight to the bunkhouse and turned the truck off.

“I’ll wait to give you and Lucky a ride to the house.”

I would’ve sent her away but the night air was cool enough that I didn’t want to get Lucky sick. “Thank you, Jolene.”

The bunkhouse door opened and Mason stuck his head out. “I thought that was you. What are you doing here?”

I hurried to his side and hugged him tight.

“I’m going back to Dallas. I just wanted to let you know.”

He stammered and pushed away from me.

“What? What are you talking about?”

“I wasn’t planning on staying forever, Mason. I’m just…cutting my trip a little short. I love you, kid.” I bit my lip to stop myself from crying. “You’re doing great here. I’m proud of you.”

He stepped outside fully and shut the door behind him.

“I thought you and the guys were…together?”

I looked down and shook my head.

“No.”

“Rea…”

I hugged him again, even tighter.

“I’ll call you as soon as I get back. I’ll be with Harley, of course.”

“You can’t go back there, Reagan. Just stay here. If you don’t want to stay in the main house, you could stay in one of the cabins. The guys would let you.”

I pressed a kiss to his cheek and smiled.

“Love you. The guys will have Lucky half the time, so don’t worry about missing the little man and his attitude.”

I didn’t give him a chance to keep arguing. I hurried back to Jolene’s truck and told her to go. I didn’t look back at Mason to see if he was still standing there, watching. I couldn’t. I was already so close to fully breaking down.

I said goodbye to Jolene without giving her a chance to say more, just as I had with Mason, and then I hurried up to my room to pack my things.

I didn’t have much so it didn’t take long.

What took time was sitting down and writing out what amounted to a custody schedule.

Writing down the times I’d be forced to give Lucky up felt horrible but I couldn’t be unfair. I wouldn’t do that to the guys.

The longer I stared at the paper, the more I started to worry I couldn’t go back to Dallas. I wasn’t sure I could be that far from Lucky at any given time. Staying at the ranch wasn’t an option, though. I didn’t know what to do.

Lucky’s angry cry startled me from my emotional dumpster fire.

He was hungry and he screamed until he latched onto my breast. That was another issue with being away from him.

He liked breastfeeding more than he liked bottles.

He’d eat no matter what but he was never as happy with a bottle.

Walking away from the ranch meant leaving Lucky without his favorite means of eating.

He fell asleep within minutes of feeding and I settled him in his bassinet while I held the notebook again.

Staring at him while holding the sheet of paper that would take him from me fifty percent of the time made me feel like a monster.

I was giving him up. I was so lost in thought I didn’t hear the guys arriving home or coming up the stairs.

I only realized they were home when my bedroom door swung open.

I didn’t have time to hide the notebook I was staring at with a distraught expression on my face.