Page 190 of Snowbound Surrender

Meredith’s bed chamber was dark, with a single candle lit on her bedside table, but it was enough to make every pearl on Anne’s court gown shimmer.

“It is not fair,” pouted Meredith, a small frown puckering her forehead. “Why can you go to balls, and parties, and see princes and kings, and I have to go to bed?”

Anne smiled this time. “Because I am far older, and far wiser.”

For some reason, this response seemed to concern the younger girl. “But what if I get older without getting any wiser?”

“Then you will have to pay far more attention to your tutor when we return home,” Anne said gently. She had not intended this to be a lecture; she was late already to meet her father, and if she did not hurry, he was going to start to fret.

“I hate Miss McPhearson!”

“I know,” said Anne soothingly, brushing back Meredith’s hair from her face, “but you need to learn things if you are going to be wise. Come on now, I will blow out the candle.”

But her hand was stayed by one a little smaller than hers. “Were you wise when you were my age?”

A twinge of awkwardness pulled at Anne’s heart, but she attempted to brush past it. “Absolutely not! I had to grow up before I was wise enough to attend balls.”

And even then, a small voice said in her mind, you were not really wise enough, were you?

Kissing Meredith and tucking her in tightly, Anne smiled at the drowsy child and whispered, “Sweet dreams.”

She picked up the candle and by the time she shut the door behind her, Meredith’s breathing had already slowed to slumberland.

Anne leaned against the door. It was getting harder as Meredith got older, but she had known that would happen. Any little girl without a mother was going to become a handful, but at some point, Meredith would need to know.

She swallowed back the emotion threatening to fall from her eyes. If only her mother had lived. Anne would have someone to talk to then, a woman who could guide her during this difficult time.

But this was getting her nowhere. Taking a deep breath, she smoothed down her gown and tried to ignore the stiffness in the bodice. She cannot stay here, standing outside Meredith’s bed chamber. She has to go to the court ball, and be seen with Maxim.

Not that that was a hardship! Why, just yesterday when they had gone horse riding, every moment with him had been intoxicating. The mere thought of ever going horse riding again, to try and share that closeness, was madness.

She need not have concerned herself with her father missing her, at any rate. As Anne entered the ballroom, she was forced into a corner by the sheer number of people. Sir Thomas was a few yards away chatting animatedly to someone who looked like a duke, and Maxim was nowhere to be seen.

Disappointment caught at her throat, making it sore. Maxim had spent the day not with her, but waiting for a royal audience with Prinny. She had not realised it was possible to feel the lack of someone you had only met a few days before, but he was…

Well. Anne swallowed and tried to plaster a smile on her face. He was starting to become the reason she got out of bed in the morning. He was far more vibrant, interesting, and stimulating than anyone she had ever met.

After years of boredom and monotony, helping her father to raise Meredith, Maxim was a wonderful distraction – even if he was going to disappear once Christmas Day arrived.

Suddenly, a wave of loneliness washed over her. She would be so alone once they returned to Romney with just Meredith and her father.

Perhaps it would be better if she just married Maxim…

Anne pushed away the thought as she spotted a handsome man in more gold finery than was good for him dancing on the other side of the room.

Dancing – with another woman!

Hot fiery anger flooded through her veins, and something that tasted very much like jealousy rose in her stomach. What did Maxim think he was doing, dancing with another woman?

As quickly as the emotions had come, Anne forced them down. She was not a jealous woman as a general rule, and she does not like it – but she liked the way that Maxim was smiling at that another woman even less.

A gaggle of chucking gentlemen moved past her at such speed that Anne was forced to take a step back. She could not truly be falling in love with Maxim, could she?

That would be ridiculous. The last thing she should be doing was opening her heart to another, particularly someone like Maxim. How many other women had he seduced on the journey to here from Russia?

Anne swallowed. Falling in love; she knew where that could lead, and it did not lead to happiness.

In that moment, Maxim spotted her. His eyes lit up, even from this far across the ballroom, and without saying another word to his partner, he bowed and then left her standing in the dance.