Page 43 of Small Sacrifices
"I like her." It's not a statement intended to hurt. But Reid can see that's what it does. One of Everett's eyebrows twitches and he takes a deep breath. His exhale is shaky.
"You like her," he repeats, voice completely flat. "What does that mean?"
"It means that I like her." God, Reid really hopes his voice is firm. Nothing about him feels firm right now. It feels like he could vibrate out of his skin. "Now let me leave."
He takes another step. Everett looks uncomfortable now, like he really doesn't want him to leave, but maybe he's also realized that it's not good to make him stay. He doesn't move away, but he shrinks back.
"Reid, please..."
"No." They're almost nose to nose now. "You have no right to ask me these questions.
You made your decision. It's a good decision, very sensible.
But it also means that I have absolutely no obligation to answer questions like that.
Which, no, by the way, I'm not interested in Marisol.
We're friends. And we both had a pretty shitty day today.
So would you please move the fuck out of my w—"
Before he can even register what's happening, there are lips on his.
And Reid just... short-circuits. He can practically hear the ominous frizzing noise.
He can feel the sparks. Everett is kissing him.
Everett is kissing him, and Reid's entire body is prickling like his tongue used to when he still hadn't gotten over his fascination with licking batteries.
Reid's hands are on Everett's chest. He must've instinctively raised them when Everett moved in. He's solid and warm under his fingertips. But also... that's a defensive reaction. He didn't see this coming. Everett didn't ask.
It's over quickly, really not much more than a firm peck. But Everett doesn't move far.
"You're hot when you curse," he says, breath fanning over Reid's face.
"Fuck you," Reid says reflexively. And then, with a bit more feeling. "Fuck you . You can't just kiss people. You didn't ask if you could. Don't do that. That's not okay."
Everett's mouth twitches and Reid's eyes, the traitors, are immediately drawn to the movement. There's a little glint on his lips that could or could not be saliva, but most definitely makes Reid woozy. He feels blurry and out of focus.
"Sorry," Everett says. His eyes are sparkling. The nerve.
"You don't sound sorry."
Everett has the nerve to bite his lower lip. "And you didn't say that I shouldn't have kissed you. You just said I should have asked."
"But that's the same thing! You can't just kiss someone out of nowhere. Did I say I wanted it? No! So then you should assume I don't want it. Why would you do something like that?"
As he speaks, he can watch Everett's confident smile slip. It's slow, at first. But by the end of it, he looks gutted. Again, his eyes loom large on his face.
"I'm sorry," he says.
Reid believes him. It's difficult to not just burst out with that, but he bites his lip to keep it in.
Because it shouldn't matter that this look on Everett's face makes him want to forgive him.
Just as it shouldn't matter that there are still butterflies dancing in his stomach and that he very much wants Everett to do that again—this time with a bit more warning.
Unfortunately, Everett seems to take his silence as a rejection of his apology.
"I'm so sorry," he repeats. "I shouldn't have... I didn't think. I messed up. That won't happen again."
Something in Reid drops at those words. "What won't happen again?"
"Me kissing someone without asking for his consent." Everett runs a hand over his eyebrows. "God, I really messed this up, didn't I? This is important to you."
Reid frowns. "It's consent. Consent is paramount."
That's what Briana said when she explained it to him. Granted, that conversation had also included a lot of instructions like "leave girls the hell alone when they're not interested" and "it doesn't matter if you're stronger, she still has to ask." Reid thinks it still applies.
Everett looks down. "Of course. I'm sorry."
But Reid still doesn't have an answer to his most important question. "Why did you do it, then?"
Steps are crunching on the gravel in the distance.
That's the moment that Everett seems to choose to remember where they are—in the middle of a well-lit parking lot.
Not conspicuous in the least. His eyes dart between Reid and a place somewhere behind him, where a car door slams closed, and a motor starts purring. Then, he grimaces.
"Is there maybe a chance that we could talk about this somewhere else?"
Reid just about keeps himself from snorting. "You're not inviting yourself into my car before you answer that question. Why did you do it?"
He almost jumps in surprise when Everett throws his arms up. "That's not exactly a secret, is it?"
Oh, for God's sake. What is it with people never saying what they mean? Reid is not a mind reader. And he can't decipher most of the things that regular people can seem to see in each other's faces and in the tone of their voice.
"I'm going to need you to be clearer than that. We talked about this, remember?" He tries his hardest to modulate his voice so that it's neutral, but it still sounds sharp to his ears.
Everett frowns. "You really don't know?"
Reid has a suspicion. But he's been wrong in the past. Besides, he has a feeling that it would be quite embarrassing to say something like 'you like me' out loud.
First, he could be wrong. Second, that would probably sound juvenile.
Do adults still say 'I like you'? And third…
it would hurt. The thought that Everett likes him, wants to be with him, is precious.
He doesn't want to be the one to make it crumble.
So he says no.
His eyes are again drawn to Everett's Adam's apple as he swallows. And then, suddenly, Everett is grinning, ducking his head and sweeping his hair out of his face.
"Because I like you. And you were close, and I wanted to kiss you.
I acted on impulse." The grin dims to a smile.
"I'm really sorry. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable.
You've been really cool about this so far.
I just… for a moment, I thought you might be interested, too. And I was wrong. Sorry."
There's that word again. Interested. Reid takes a deep breath. If everything at his job is going downhill anyway, he might as well let himself have this. Whatever this will turn out to be.
"What I'm not interested in is you touching me without my consent and without warning. Please don't misconstrue my words."
They're still standing close, which affords Reid the opportunity to see Everett's pupils blow in real time. "Oh."
"Oh," Reid agrees. Another person crunches past them. "Still want to continue this conversation somewhere else?"
Everett's cheeks take on a very fetching russet color. He can't nod quickly enough. "Yeah, sure."
The blush makes something deep in Reid's stomach squirm. Or maybe below it. Can words as simple as those really have such a big impact? Or—ah. Okay. Just to be sure, he points a warning finger at Everett.
"I'm not having sex with you tonight," he says.
And it might be the best thing he's ever said in his entire life, because it only makes Everett blush harder.