Page 34 of Small Sacrifices

The world comes back to Reid in bits and pieces. The warmth of the blankets he's buried in. His curls tickling his nose. A warm weight against his back. There isn't even an alarm blaring.

This is a good thing right up until it isn't. Because Reid doesn't remember if he set an alarm yesterday. And then he can't get up because there's something heavy on his midsection. Something that tightens when he tries to move.

A look down tells him it's an arm—and a look to the side confirms that the arm is Everett's.

Huh.

He stayed? After everything that happened yesterday, he stayed and slept here?

And on top of the sheets, too. That must've been cold.

Reid doesn't know what to think. A smile steals itself onto his face as he watches Everett snuffle and bury his nose into the sheets that are bunched up between them.

It's still dark, so he can't see much. But a streetlight outside the window is just bright enough to highlight his cheekbones.

As comfortable as the sheets were moments ago, now they're too hot. But what can Reid even do about that? Everett has his arm wound around his middle quite firmly. What if he wakes up? It's still early.

Everett makes a small, sleepy sound. Reid freezes, but it's too late. The deep, even breaths of sleep are gone, replaced by a slow stirring. Everett pulls back his arm like he's been burned, his wide eyes betraying his embarrassment.

It stings, just a bit. The rejection couldn't be clearer. Which makes Reid feel quite weird—because it shouldn't matter. If Everett doesn't want to hold him, then that's fine. Reid doesn't want to be held by him. Right? Right? So why does it make his stomach clench?

Everett's hair is adorably tousled. It looks soft—Reid wants to reach out and feel it for himself. He doesn't. Acting on impulse now would be a prime recipe for sending himself into another shutdown. But he keeps looking. And he keeps feeling the warm, squirming bubble behind his sternum grow.

Because just him looking would be one thing. Everett looking back is what makes Reid feel like there’s an electrical charge in the air. The way his eyes skip all over Reid, from his rumpled clothes to his no-doubt riotous hair to his eyes and then back to his hair.

At some point, Everett seems to realize how long they've been staring at each other.

"Sorry, I'm still half asleep." He chuckles as he says it. But more importantly, he shuffles away to put more distance between them—and he's now looking down. Reid feels the loss keenly.

"It's fine," he says. But it doesn't sound as light as he wants it to. If anything, it sounds hollow.

Everett is a bit too busy fiddling with the hem of his shirt to notice, though. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"I'm not uncomfortable."

That gets Everett to look at him again, and they both snort at the pinched expression that he must see there. Clearly, that's a lie. But it also isn't. Reid frowns.

"You're not making me uncomfortable," he amends. There, that's better. This isn't Everett's fault. Everett is just present for it.

Everett, who tilts his head and squints at Reid. "You sure?"

"Yes?"

A smile. "It doesn't sound like you're sure."

Reid huffs. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't question me like that. I know what I'm feeling." At least where this is concerned. This, and only this, and little else. Sometimes, his sister has to tell him what he's feeling. It isn't inconvenient or frustrating at all.

"Okay," Everett says slowly, dragging out the A. "But I mean... You know that I'm gay, right?"

Oh. "That makes sense." What doesn't make sense is why this confirmation makes his heart beat so quickly.

Everett isn't saying he's interested. He isn't. In fact, he seems to expect this statement will put Reid off.

And that's like a bucket of cold water dumped over his head.

Has Reid given him the impression that he's a homophobe? What could he have—

"Sense?" Everett echoes, one eyebrow raised. He looks amused, which only confuses Reid more, but at least it's not a bad sign.

Reid nods. "Yeah. People have been making allusions. I'm not very good at understanding things like that. But if you're gay, then that makes sense."

There's a furrow between Everett's brows. Still, he's grinning. "So what you're saying is that you need people to be very clear with you."

Again, Reid nods. "I can't read between the lines. If you say something, I'll understand it literally." Most of the time, anyway.

"Then let me be clear." Everett stops to think for a moment. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable with me getting so close to you. That was not my intention. I was asleep."

"Right," Reid says, and presses his eyes shut on a breath out to ward off the frustration. He hates repeating himself. "And I said I wasn't uncomfortable. Knowing you're gay doesn't change that."

"Oh, okay!" Everett's smile lights up his entire face. It does something strange to Reid's insides. But other things are more pressing right now.

"Is that why Mr. Wright thought I was flirting with you? Because if I was, I didn't notice."

"What do you mean you didn't notice?" Confusion scrunches up Everett's face. "I mean, I didn't think you were. But what?"

It's a good question, one Reid asks himself frequently. Sadly, he can do little more than shrug in response. "I don't know. People think I'm flirting sometimes. Briana says it's the way I talk."

"Your sister."

"M-hmm."

Finally, Reid remembers why Everett woke up in the first place, and so he stretches for his phone. When the display lights up, it tells him it's 6:31 a.m. They still have some time to talk. He settles against the headboard and suppresses the smile that automatically forms at the thought.

Everett sighs and rubs his eyes. His hair gets even more unruly when he runs his hands through it.

He looks soft and vulnerable even though he's still in his street clothes.

"I mean, I think so," he says. "I had a thing with a member of staff once.

It didn't end well. And when my father found out.

.. yeah. Let's just say it's been made very clear to me that there will be consequences if it happens again. "

That doesn't sound good. Not at all. "What did you do?" Reid asks. Consequences? What would have happened for him to be threatened with consequences?

"I was too young." Everett's tone is dry, but somehow, he sounds pissed off. "Too young and too queer. So they blamed it on me."

Oh. That sounds even worse.

"What do you mean?" Reid asks.

Everett buries his head in his hands. "I was seventeen, he was twenty-six. But I... I wanted it. My father was furious."

"With you?"

"With me."

Oh. There's that sinking feeling again. He doesn't want to believe it's true, because if it is…

then Reid is working for a fraud. All those liberal policies and talking points—and his own son can't be gay?

Never mind the rest of the situation. Everett isn't saying it, but that age difference is uncomfortably large.

How is he the one to be blamed in this scenario? He was a literal child.

There’s also the fact that now, it makes even less sense that Mackenzie is trying to keep Everett close to his place of work, if this is what happens there. Reid wants to ask about that, but it feels like he’d be distracting from the point at hand.

"I'm twenty-five," he blurts out instead, and cringes immediately. Great. Very relevant. Very charming. Perfect display of empathy in a serious conversation.

Shockingly, though, it turns out that wasn't the wrong thing to say. Because Everett laughs. "And I'm twenty-four. Don't worry. I know you're not trying to seduce me."

Seduce him? The word tingles through Reid's thoughts. And he feels something dawn on him. Something which he, of course, valiantly tries to ignore. They're having an important conversation here. This is not the time for personal revelations.

"But they think I might be?"

With a frustrated groan, Everett throws his head back. "I honestly don't know why. Can't I just talk to people anymore? I wanna talk to you. You're cool."

Reid can feel himself go hot all over. "Thank you."

He'd like to move onto a solution to this problem of theirs, because he'd also quite like to keep talking to Everett. But Everett squints at him. "Are you blushing?"

At that, Reid can feel his cheeks grow even hotter. Oh, the benefits of being frightfully pale. "People don't usually think I'm cool."

"Well, people need to get over themselves. Because you are."

Strangely, that does absolutely nothing to abate Reid's flushed state. Not that Everett seems to mind. If anything, he's delighted with it. His eyes are downright dancing with mirth. "Maybe this is why people think you're flirting with them. That blush is spectacular."

Reid frowns. "But wouldn't it be them flirting, then? I'm just reacting. I'm not making myself blush. Can you even do that?"

After all the stupid stuff he's said this morning, that seems to be a bridge too far. Everett freezes.

"I'm not flirting with you," he says, suddenly serious.

Oh. Reid frowns at the sudden twist in the conversation. "Noted."

"I know you're straight," Everett adds.

Huh. "I don't." The words are out before he can even think about them. But why would he want to think when Everett's eyes on him make him feel like he's just put a fork in an electrical socket? His entire body is buzzing.

"I'm sorry?" Everett asks. He looks genuinely confused. Which is... difficult. Because it means that Reid has a genuine option to play this off, or try to. And that might be easier, right? It's not like Reid has any answers. He only has questions and suspicions. But he doesn't want to lie.

"I don't know that I'm straight," he says. His voice breaks halfway through, but he gets the words out. "I mean, I still could be. But I recently realized that I'd never thought about it. So how would I know?"

"I mean, generally you know you're straight if you're only attracted to people of the opposite gender." Everett's eyes are huge on his face. He looks like a deer in headlights, very alert and completely still.

Reid considers that. He's pretty sure he's attracted to Everett.

He can't say it out loud, but that's one point against heterosexuality.

Has he ever felt this way about a woman?

He's never kissed anyone before. His fantasies have always been vague, faces and bodies blurred out, more about the feeling than the person.

He doesn't know what to say, so he says nothing. Despite that, Everett's eyebrows wander impressively far up his forehead. Maybe he doesn't need to say anything at all.

"Right, well," Everett says, "you don't need to know. But still. I wasn't flirting with you."

Every single person Reid has talked to about this so far seems to have disagreed. At least that's what Reid assumes now that he's acquired the missing piece in all those interactions. The hesitant way Everett looks at him makes him bite his lip, however. This seems to be important to him.

"I believe you." It's difficult to say. But it makes Everett relax, so it's worth it. There's a bright smile aimed his way. Reid breathes through the nerves that it makes bubble up within him. Everett isn't interested. Right?

"Thanks," Everett says, and then laughs when a grumble from Reid's stomach disturbs the tense atmosphere. "Hungry?"

"It's almost seven!" Reid defends himself. "Normally, I would be eating breakfast right now!"

Breakfast is served buffet-style in a big room downstairs. When Reid mentions this, Everett gets nervous again.

"I'm gonna have to head back to my room before anyone sees me," he says and immediately is up and in front of the mirror, arranging his hair into something resembling order.

Reid has to agree. Never mind how they interact in front of other people—if someone sees Everett sneak out of his room.

.. That would be bad. He'd quite like to avoid bad for now. Yesterday was bad enough.

Everett freezes with his hands in his hair, turns around to look at him. "You good?"

It takes a bit of an effort to put a smile on his face. "Yes. I just remembered Ms. Greene. And I still have to talk to Mr. Wright."

At the mention of Mr. Wright, Everett pulls a face. "Yeah, I can imagine that would be stressful. Do you have anything else on the agenda for today?"

Reid sighs. "Well, the town hall was supposed to be today. But I don't know if..."

A hiss. "Right. Well, I'll text you. They have nothing planned for me today, so maybe I can show you around a bit? Help you see the sights?"

Reid very much doubts that 'the sights' are worth mentioning in a place like this. But the offer makes him feel quite warm inside. And he wants to spend more time with Everett. What better opportunity than now, when there aren't so many eyes on them? So he agrees.