Page 5

Vasha

Everything was a bit of a blur.

I remembered meeting Philly and the other bikers, vaguely recalled him feeding me soup.

Anything after that was hazy.

Waking up to find Slider on the bed next to me was enough to make my heart start racing.

He’d found me!

I just didn’t understand why he’d want to.

Was he so angry that he’d tracked me down in order to punish me?

I lifted my hands and saw that I wasn’t shackled to the bed.

He must not have been worried I would escape, but his arm draped across my waist was heavy enough to hold me in place.

Perhaps he’d thought that was enough.

“You’re awake,” he said, his voice husky from sleep.

It was so unfair!

He was sexy in the morning.

My body betrayed me, reacting to his nearness.

I shouldn’t want him!

He was no different from the others.

I’d thought he was, but I’d been wrong.

Hadn’t I?

The tender way he watched me conflicted with the anger he’d displayed when I’d last seen him.

“You need anything?” he asked.

“Water? Need to use the bathroom? Are you hungry?”

I blinked, not sure how to respond.

Did he really want to get me something?

Or was it a trick?

Grigori had done that before.

If I misbehaved, he’d offer me something I really wanted, then slap me around and remind me I didn’t deserve to have anything.

Before his reaction to our marriage, I’d thought Slider would never do something like that.

Now I wasn’t quite so sure.

He lifted his arm and used his finger to trace the bridge of my nose.

“I’m so damn sorry, kroshka . It wasn’t you that I was angry with. It was Surge. I didn’t mean for you to leave, much less walk all the way to another town.”

“You’re not angry with me?” I asked, my accent thicker than usual.

Even I could hear the difference.

“Never with you, zolatka .”

I looked around the room and didn’t see anyone but the two of us.

What happened to the men who had helped me?

Were they in trouble for giving me assistance?

Had Slider hurt them?

I felt so confused.

I wanted to trust him, to believe that the tenderness I’d seen in him was real, but I was scared.

Men had never been trustworthy.

Not in my world.

I wanted him to be different, needed it.

“I had Surge go pick up a few things for you. I had to check the sizes on what you were wearing now.” Slider sat up, then got out of bed.

He walked over to the dresser on the far wall and lifted two plastic bags.

“It’s not much, but there are few changes of clothes from the skin out, as well as some bath products I thought you might like. I ordered everything online so he just had to pick it up in the nearest big city.”

“You didn’t go get them?” I asked.

“I didn’t want to leave you. It’s been two days since I caught up to Titan and the others. You’ve been asleep most of the time, and muttering in Russian. I picked up enough to know you were upset with me, and scared of Grigori and Vladimir.”

I turned away from him.

“Surge showed me pictures of the men who hurt you in Russia. I don’t think they can find you here, Vasha, but if they do, I won’t let them take you.”

“Why?” I asked, wincing when my voice broke.

“Because you’re mine,” he said softly.

I wanted to believe him.

No one had ever wanted me as anything other than a broodmare.

I just didn’t understand what had changed.

“Why?” I asked again.

“I was yours before and it didn’t matter. Why does it matter now?”

He set the bags down and came closer, sitting on the edge of the bed.

He didn’t reach for me, didn’t try to touch me.

Slider stared at the floor, the lines of his body hard and tense.

At first, I thought he wouldn’t answer, but it seemed he’d only been gathering his thoughts.

Or maybe he’d been trying to decide what I wanted to hear.

“The night I found you in my bed, I’d decided that I was tired of casual hook-ups. I wanted an actual relationship, something that could last.” He grimaced and glanced my way quickly before turning away again.

“You should know I haven’t just been with women. I like men too. I know a lot of people don’t understand that, or find it disgusting, but if I’m going to ask you to stay, to be mine, then I think you need the full truth.”

Of course I knew there were men who preferred men, and those who liked both, but I’d never had someone come out and admit it.

The fact he seemed worried how I would react told me a lot.

Someone had hurt him at some point, badly, for being different.

I hesitated only a moment before reaching for him.

I placed my hand on his thigh and waited to see what else he’d say.

“Surge and I…” He stopped and audibly swallowed.

“We were together for a few weeks. Nothing serious, but we were exclusive during that time. He knew I wanted more, and he didn’t. So, he found you online, bought you, married you to me by proxy and thought he was giving me what I wanted and needed.”

As much as I wanted to harden my heart toward him, it broke a little.

Someone he’d trusted, invited into his bed, had betrayed him like that.

I was grateful to be out of Russia, to not be married to Vladimir, but I didn’t like that Slider had been hurt in the process.

I could understand his anger now.

“If you come back home with me,” he said, “then I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Unless the fact I’ve been with men is a deal breaker. I didn’t mean to take my anger out on you. It was Surge who had pissed me off by not telling me what he’d done. Even worse, he’d lied to you too. You didn’t know that I had no clue we were married. And I checked. Wire told me that the marriage is real, at least as far as the authorities are concerned.”

“You’d let me leave?” I asked.

He opened and shut his mouth, then gave a humorless laugh and shook his head.

“No. I want to be that guy, the one who understands and gives you what you want, but that’s not me. I’d fuck you every chance I had, make sure you’re pregnant, and then you’d never be able to leave. So I guess I’m a rotten bastard, just like all the other men you know.”

I wanted to know more about him.

Needed to know more.

If I was going to remain with him, be his wife and the mother of his children, then I needed to know who he really was, not just on the surface but deep down.

The fact he admitted he’d do what it took to keep me from leaving meant he was at least being honest with me.

It was more than most men had given me.

“You said you grew up in an orphanage.”

He nodded.

“Do you remember your parents?” I asked.

I couldn’t remember mine anymore, not as well as I once had.

There were bits and pieces that stuck with me.

My mother had hair like mine and bright blue eyes.

I knew that much.

Sometimes, if I focused hard, I could almost remember her voice.

I’d forgotten my father for the most part.

“I never knew them,” he said.

“My mother dropped me on the doorstep of a fire station with a copy of my birth certificate and a note that she couldn’t raise me. Surge did a little digging for me once, with the help from some other guys like him. All I know is that she was Egyptian and had been here on a student Visa. He found a record of her attending a college near the place I’d been abandoned, but she didn’t finish her degree. She was killed in a robbery.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shrugged a shoulder.

“Shouldn’t hurt when I never even knew her. But it does. My father was listed as unknown so I have no idea who he was, but I’d guess either a student or professor where she was attending school. For all I know, I’m the product of a one-night stand at some frat party.”

“My parents died when I was young. I used to think of them often, but now I barely remember my mother and I’ve mostly forgotten my father. I do remember they were kind to me, but that’s all. Maybe your mother thought you’d have a better life if she gave you up.”

“Guess I’ll never know.”

I did have an idea of how he could find his father’s family, but I didn’t know what he’d think of it.

When I’d first arrived in America, I’d had to wait for Surge to arrange my transportation to Slider’s home.

I’d spent a few days just watching TV in a hotel room.

There had been a commercial that played several times a day about a DNA test.

One of the people in the ad said they’d found family they never knew they had.

Could Slider do the same and find his father?

I didn’t really understand how any of it worked.

“What about one of those DNA kits?” I asked.

He paused and looked at me.

“Like the family tree shit they advertise?”

I nodded.

“I guess I could think about that. Not sure I’m too crazy about someone having my DNA where anyone can access it.” I didn’t understand and he smirked a little.

“Vasha, I’m part of an outlaw club. We don’t always do things the legal way. If we did, then you wouldn’t be here right now. There are things I’ve done in order to protect the Hades Abyss, and having my DNA floating around out there probably isn’t the best idea.”

“Because it might be used to link you to a crime?” I asked.

It didn’t seem possible.

He was being so kind to me, was better than the men I’d known back home.

Shouldn’t criminals be evil?

No…

No matter what he said, I didn’t believe him.

He was a good man.

Kind.

Nothing like a criminal.

“Yes. I’m not a good man. I’ve done things…” He sighed.

“I have blood on my hands, kroshka . But I swear that I will do everything I can to keep you safe, and I will never raise a hand to you in anger.”

“Never?” I asked skeptically.

He leaned closer, his nose nearly brushing mine.

“Maybe not quite never . I bet your pretty little ass would pink up nicely if I were to spank it. But I don’t think that’s a punishment you’d mind too much.”

My body heated at his words and I felt myself grow slick between my legs.

Thinking of his hand cracking against my ass shouldn’t turn me on, but it did.

I licked my lips and my breath quickened.

Slider’s eyes dilated as he stared at me, then his mouth was pressing against mine.

His kiss was hard and demanding, his tongue thrusting between my lips.

He groaned as he devoured me.

As much as I loved his kisses, I gave him a gentle nudge to back off.

When he pulled away, I placed my hand over my mouth.

My cheeks warmed in embarrassment.

I’d just let him kiss me like that and I hadn’t brushed my teeth in…

I didn’t even remember when.

He tasted like coffee, even though he’d been sleeping when I woke, but I worried that my kiss had been gross to him.

“Right. No kissing,” he muttered and stood up.

“Wait. It’s not that.”

“Then what, Vasha? You just shoved me away.”

I pressed my lips tight together.

“My breath stinks.”

He stared for a long moment, then burst out laughing.

I didn’t see what was so funny.

I’d been told often that I needed to always make sure my teeth were clean and my breath was fresh, or I would upset my husband.

Granted, Grigori had meant Vladimir, but I figured the same would be true for any man.

“Surge picked up toothbrushes for both of us and some toothpaste. Come on. You can brush your teeth if you’re that worried about your breath.” Humor danced in his eyes.

“For the record, I didn’t mind in the slightest.”

I swung my legs over the side of the bed, then braced myself on the nightstand as I tried to get up for the first time in days.

My legs felt weak and trembled a moment, but they held me up.

Slider moved toward me, but I held up a hand.

“I’d like to try on my own.”

He nodded and gave me some space.

I managed to walk to the bathroom counter and brushed my teeth, then splashed water on my face.

My hair looked oily and gross.

Slider slipped past me and set out some things in the shower, then stacked some women’s clothing on the rack above the toilet and set out a towel.

“Think you can handle a shower? The way you stared at the tub I figured you wanted one.”

“Maybe,” I said.

“Would you be all right with me showering with you? Then if you start to fall or get lightheaded, I’ll be there to catch you.”

It wasn’t like he hadn’t already seen me naked.

I let him help me undress and get into the shower.

The water was steamy and felt divine.

When he joined me, I couldn’t help but stare at his abdomen and chest.

He was just as beautiful as I remembered.

I don’t know how long I stood there staring at him, but Slider didn’t seem to mind.

He reached for the knobs to adjust the water and I realized it had already started to cool.

“Would my beautiful wife permit me to wash her?” he asked.

Beautiful.

Me?

He thought I was beautiful.

I’d heard men compliment me before, but usually it was for being quiet, docile, obeying instantly.

Not many commented on my looks, and the few who had, had only made me shiver in a not-so-good way.

“Vasha. Are you all right?” Slider asked and I realized I hadn’t answered him.

“I’m fine, and yes, you may wash me. Thank you, Slider.”

He paused mid-reach for the soap.

Had I done something wrong?

“Slider?”

“My name’s Upton. Upton St. Clair. When we’re alone, you can use my real name.” His gaze narrowed.

“If we were married by proxy, how did you not already know my name?”

I felt my cheeks warm.

“I was nervous and not paying attention. They had to prompt me four times to repeat my vows.”

“There’s something you should know,” he said.

“The marriage in Russia? It’s not legally binding. Or it wasn’t at the time. I think you were only asked to go through with it so you would feel better coming here. Thanks to some magic with a computer once you arrived in the US, our marriage became legal. According to my government anyway.”

“So… we weren’t really married in Russia, but we are now?” I asked, feeling a bit lost and confused.

He’d mentioned something earlier, but I still didn’t understand.

If saying my vows hadn’t made it legal, how could a machine?

“Yes.”

“And your name is Upton, but I can only call you that in private?”

He nodded.

I wasn’t entirely sure I understood, but I would eventually learn the ways of this country.

Slider washed me, his touch gentle and more than a little arousing.

My nipples hardened against his palms as he washed my breasts, and I shifted restlessly, wanting to ease the ache between my legs.

He took his time, every stroke of his hands only making me want him more.

“Easy, Zolatka . You’re still weak. I don’t think shower sex is a good idea right now.”

I whimpered, then bit my lip to stifle the sound.

“I’ll wash quickly, then you can rest while I find us something to eat.” He leaned closer and kissed me, a brief press of his mouth to mine.

“You need to regain your strength. It’s a long ride back home, and I don’t want to worry about you falling off my bike.”

“I didn’t think I went that far,” I said, which was apparently the wrong thing to say.

Slider’s expression darkened and his jaw went tight.

“Yes, we’ll be having a discussion about the danger you could have been in while walking to another town.”

I bowed my head.

“Yes, sir.”

I could feel the change in the air.

Slider growled and pressed me up against the wall.

My heart hammered in my chest, but I didn’t dare meet his gaze.

Would I always be afraid of men?

Would I always wonder when Slider would lash out, when he’d show me the side all men seemed to have?

I felt his hand tremble as he gripped my chin and forced my gaze to meet his.

“What the fuck was that shit?” he asked, his voice low and deadly.

“Is that what they trained you to do? Obey like a lap dog? Say ‘yes, sir’ and ‘no, sir’ as if men are better than you?”

I licked my lips but didn’t answer.

Did he really want to know?

Didn’t he expect my obedience like Vladimir would have?

Like Grigori had demanded?

I’d thought all men were like that.

Anatoly had been my friend, and had been sweet to me on occasion, but I’d been certain he was different with the women in his life, just as hard and cruel as Grigori and Vladimir were with me.

Had I been wrong?

“Answer me, Vasha.”

“Y-yes.”

“Tell me, exactly, what they expected of you. I want to know every damn thing those bastards did. You were a virgin, so I know they didn’t rape you.”

Could I tell him the things that had been forced on me as part of my education?

I’d never seen someone angry on my behalf before.

Not even Anatoly.

It started slow, just a few words, and then I couldn’t seem to stop.

I told him about having a dildo forced down my throat so I could learn to properly please my husband, about being trained to bow and kneel, to not hold eye contact with men for more than a few seconds.

Everything poured out.

With every word, I saw Slider’s face darken more, anger simmered in his eyes by the time I’d finished.

The shower had grown cold, so he shut off the water and gently dried me.

I pulled on the clothing he’d purchased, running my hands down the soft leggings and shirt.

“I’m not angry with you, Vasha,” he said.

“I want to murder Grigori. No one should treat you the way he did. I’d like to burn his house to the ground, and fry anyone inside who helped in your mistreatment. Don’t ever be afraid to tell me what you’re thinking or feeling. I’m not them. I won’t hurt you or degrade you.”

I gave him a quick nod, still unable to believe a man like Slider existed, then went to sit on the bed and wait for him.

I heard his fist slam into something several times, and I winced, hoping he wouldn’t hurt himself.

When Slider came out, he only had a towel around his waist.

He pulled out one of the dresser drawers and grabbed some underwear.

The towel fell to the floor and I looked my fill as he got dressed.

Unless he’d planned ahead and packed a bag, it looked like he’d bought clothes for himself as well as me.

He picked up his keys off the dresser, then came to give me a kiss.

“I’ll be back soon. The guys went home, but they sent a Prospect to help keep an eye on you. We didn’t know how long you’d be out of it.” He pointed to the wall behind the TV.

“Knock on that wall if you need something before I’m back, or if you get scared. Teller is a good kid. You can trust him.”

If Slider believed that Teller wouldn’t hurt me, then I’d knock on the wall if I needed something.

Slider left, the door automatically locking behind him, and I turned on the TV to pass the time.

I wasn’t quite sure what to make of my new husband.

He’d been angry at my training, or rather angry with Grigori for forcing that on me.

Only Anatoly had ever cared about me before, and even then he hadn’t been able to show it or we’d both have suffered.

Slider was different from anyone I’d ever met, and I was so thankful that Surge had found me and placed me in Slider’s bed that night.

I was starting to think he might be the best thing that ever happened to me.