Vasha

In all the times I’d contemplated what my first time would be like, I’d never once thought I would enjoy it.

I’d thought it would hurt, and it had, but not because Slider was being rough or cruel.

He hadn’t wanted to cause me pain, and that had made me cry even more than the sting I’d felt as he claimed my virginity.

Then that kiss!

No one had kissed me before him.

I heard the water shut off and he came back, holding out a hand to me.

I’d stayed where I was, not daring to move without permission.

In the past, my lessons had been degrading and I’d hated them.

When Slider had given me commands, I’d obeyed because it’s what I wanted.

The thought of Vladimir doing such a thing sent a chill down my spine, but seeing Slider in that role -- all domineering and alpha -- it had made me burn hotter for him.

Maybe there was something wrong with me.

Perhaps my time in captivity with Grigori had warped my mind.

I grasped Slider’s hand and stood, but once I was on my feet, he lifted me into his arms and carried me into the bathroom as if I weighed no more than a feather.

I pressed my cheek against his chest and breathed in his scent.

For the first time since my parents died, I felt safe.

He’d promised to protect me, even if I hadn’t spread my legs for him, and I’d known in that moment that he was different.

He wasn’t anything like the men I’d known.

And he was mine!

Or rather, I was his.

Happiness bubbled inside me as I thought about a future with him.

I wondered how many children he’d want.

Could I be pregnant already?

When I’d felt the hot spurts of his release inside me, I’d wanted to grip him with my thighs and beg for him to do it again and again until we created a baby.

In Russia, I’d dreaded my responsibility.

With Slider, I wanted to be a good wife and mother to our children.

Slider eased me down into the water, then knelt beside the tub.

“This should help with any pain or tenderness,” he said, then reached out to brush the hair back from my face.

“We need to talk about the fact I took you bare. I never meant to do that.”

My heart nearly stopped.

He hadn’t wanted to be inside me without a barrier?

Was there something wrong with me?

Did he not think I’d be a good mother to his children?

Was he going to send me back now?

Panic crawled up from my belly and I gripped the side of the tub.

“Vasha, do you understand? I didn’t use a condom.”

“Yes.” I felt like I was going numb.

“You didn’t use one, but you wish you had. I understand. I’m…”

I couldn’t continue.

It felt like my throat was closing up, but I knew I needed to say the words.

“You don’t feel that I’m worthy.”

He stared at me a moment, then tipped his head to the side slightly.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Not worthy of being a mother. You wish you had used protection so I don’t get pregnant.”

“Vasha, we’re both speaking English, but I think there’s a disconnect somewhere.”

I dropped my gaze to the water and skimmed my hand across the surface.

I’d been raised to be nothing more than a wife and mother, a trophy, a piece of property.

Now that I had someone, a man I could see myself loving, he felt that I didn’t deserve him, and maybe he was right.

Slider was strong, and so very sexy.

He could have his choice of any woman.

Why would he want me?

“Vasha,” he said softly.

When I didn’t look up, he said my name again.

Harder.

I jerked my gaze to his.

He reached and placed his hand over my belly under the water.

“Did you want to get pregnant? Are you trying to tell me you want a baby?”

“In Russia, I was groomed for one thing only. To be a proper wife and mother. I know things are different here, but if I’m not good enough for my only intended purpose, you might as well send me back.” I took a steadying breath.

“Or just have someone kill me.”

“What the fuck? Are you fucking insane, Vasha?”

I felt tears burning my eyes.

Now he thought I was crazy.

I wasn’t making things better, only worse.

“Look at me, kroshka .”

I forced myself to do as he said.

“Vasha, I was upset that you thought you deserved to die. I’m not sending you back, and I’m sure as fuck not having someone kill you. Having a baby could be a wonderful thing for you, but only if the circumstances were right. We just met. Do you really want a child with me?”

“But you’re my husband. Who else would I have children with?” I asked, not understanding.

Slider’s expression blanked.

“What?” He removed his hand and stood.

“What do you mean I’m your husband?”

“You bought me. Anatoly made sure there were papers, a marriage by proxy, which Surge agreed to on your behalf. You’re my husband, Slider. If you don’t want children with me, then what good am I?”

He stumbled back a step, then bolted from the room.

I heard him slam a door and I wondered what I’d done wrong.

It had almost seemed as if…

My breath caught.

No!

He hadn’t known we were married?

If Slider hadn’t signed the papers for a marriage by proxy, then had Surge forged his name?

And was our union even legal?

Now that I was no longer a virgin, no one in Russia would want me.

Not as a wife and mother.

I’d only be good for one thing.

The water started to turn cold, but he hadn’t given me permission to get out.

Would he come back?

After my fingers had pruned and my teeth started to chatter, I got out of the tub, then drained the water.

I dried off and put my clothes back on, then cleaned the bathroom.

I pulled the sheets from Slider’s bed and found the laundry room.

The buttons and knobs seemed straightforward enough.

I’d never actually washed clothes, but it couldn’t be that difficult.

Grigori had sent his laundry out so it hadn’t been part of my training.

I also threw in the towel I’d used.

By the time the washing machine was finished, and I’d also dried everything, Slider still hadn’t returned.

I remade the bed, folded and put away the towel, then looked around the house one last time.

I’d thought I would be happy here.

It wasn’t a huge house like the one Vladimir boasted he owned, but it had felt like a home.

I’d looked forward to celebrating holidays, raising a family, and finally being safe and cared for.

I should have known better.

Good things never happened to me.

Why would this be any different?

I let myself out of the house, and started down the paved street.

I vaguely remembered the way to the front gate.

When I reached my destination, a young man stood at attention, watching me carefully.

“I need to leave, please,” I said.

“You were the one Surge brought earlier?” he asked.

“Yes. There was a misunderstanding. I’m not supposed to be here. I need to leave so Slider will no longer be angry.”

The man’s eyebrows rose and he rocked back on his heels.

He opened the gate and let me through, then shut it behind me.

The sound of the lock clicking felt too final.

I glanced back once, then started walking.

It didn’t matter where I went.

I had no money, no way to call anyone, or anyone to call for that matter.

While I was free and no longer suffering in Russia, I didn’t know that this was any better.

My feet ached and the darkness settled around me in an eerie silence.

I’d thought the town was this direction, but it seemed I’d been walking too long to not find any buildings or people.

Which meant I was going the opposite way.

My stomach cramped with hunger.

I’d been so foolish, thinking that I could escape, that I’d have a good life if I only left Russia.

At least with Grigori, I had regular meals and a roof over my head.

My clothes were threadbare, but only because he’d insisted Vladimir would purchase my wardrobe once we were married.

Stupid .

I was so stupid.

Such a silly girl, hoping and dreaming for something that didn’t even exist.

Growing up, I’d heard such wonderful things about America, the grand opportunities.

Instead, I seemed worse off than before.

It felt like I’d walked forever.

I could feel blisters forming on my feet, and a town was ahead in the distance.

Hardly any lights were on, but I hoped I could find a place to rest for a little while.

By the time I reached the town limits, I was stumbling and about to fall over.

I was exhausted, starving, and felt like I’d lost all hope.

I saw a wooden bench under a streetlight and I made my way over to it, collapsing once I got there.

I couldn’t even sit upright.

The moment my butt hit the seat, I slumped over and curled into a ball.

I don’t know if I zoned out or fell asleep, but the rumble of motorcycles jolted me to the here and now.

Four shiny bikes stopped in front of me, the men on them looking every bit as dangerous as Surge had seemed when we’d first met.

“Not a good place for a nap, little one,” the eldest one said.

“Don’t you have somewhere else you could sleep?”

I shook my head and forced myself to sit up.

“I thought I did, but I was wrong.”

The blond one smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

“How long have you been in the country?” he asked in Russian.

My eyes went wide, my chest started to ache, and I thought I might pass out.

Had someone sent him after me?

I’d thought it was a coincidence bikers had found me, but what if I was wrong?

What if Slider sent them and they were going to send me back to Grigori?

I whimpered and tried to get away, but my legs gave out when I tried to scramble off the bench.

One of them caught me, bringing me tight against his chest.

“Easy. We’re not going to hurt you. What the fuck did you say to her, Philly?”

“Nothing! I swear. I just asked how long she’d been in the US.”

I struggled, trying to break free and save myself, but I didn’t have the strength I needed.

Hunger and exhaustion had weakened me too much.

“Hey,” the man holding me said softly.

“No one here will hurt you. Philly is a dumbass. Ignore him. We all do.”

The one called Philly huffed and muttered a whatever .

“I’m named Kraken, Philly is the shithead who scared you, Titan is our Pres,” he said nodding to the first man who spoke to me.

“And the one on the end is Stone.”

I focused on the leather vest in front of me.

I remembered Surge wearing one with his name on it.

When I saw the same words -- Hades Abyss -- stitched onto it, I knew that I’d been right to be scared.

“Please. Don’t take me back. I’ll disappear, I promise,” I said.

“Take you back where, sweetheart?” Titan asked.

“Slider didn’t want me. He was so angry. I left. Please, I didn’t know that he wasn’t the one who --” I clamped my mouth shut.

Maybe I was giving them too much information.

“You try to trap Slider?” Titan asked.

“ Nyet ! I’d never do such a thing! It was a misunderstanding.”

“And if I called our brothers in the Missouri chapter and asked them, would they also say it was a misunderstanding? Or did something else happen? Who are you to Slider?”

I swallowed hard.

“I thought I was his wife.”

The one called Philly swore.

“Motherfucker. Someone bought you, didn’t they?”

I nodded.

“I was married to Slider by proxy, but when I called him my husband, he became angry and stormed out. He wasn’t the one to request me, didn’t sign the papers. Please. I can’t go back to Grigori. I’ll disappear. Slider will never hear from me again, I swear.”

“What do you mean someone bought her? What’s the marriage by proxy crap?” Stone asked.

“On the Dark Web in Russia, men sell women as mail-order brides. They ship the women out of the country to live as wives to guys who typically can’t get laid on their own. Fat, balding, smelly men usually buy the women. How the fuck did you end up with Slider?” Philly asked.

“Surge picked me up when I arrived here. He took me to Slider’s house and left me there. I thought I was waiting for my husband. I didn’t know that Slider wasn’t aware that I existed, or that I was in his house.”

Titan cracked his neck.

“We can’t leave her here. If Slider didn’t want her, I doubt he’ll be looking for her. Still, keep your eyes and ears open for any word that he’s changed his mind. Until then, we’ll take her home with us.”

“Shouldn’t we call them?” Kraken asked.

Titan shrugged a shoulder.

“Probably. Don’t care right now.”

Home with them?

They were handsome men, but it didn’t mean I wanted to be their whore.

I fought again, trying to get free.

I’d run, if my legs would hold me.

Anywhere was better than lying on my back and servicing whoever paid enough.

I’d rather live in the gutter.

If I’d stayed in Russia, I’d have endured the touch of Vladimir and his guards, but they were all disgusting and liked causing pain.

Having to serve multiple men who at least seemed kind would likely be a better fate, but it didn’t mean that’s what I wanted.

I’d never willingly be anyone’s whore.

“You’re scaring the shit out of her,” Philly said.

He switched to Russian when he addressed me.

“Calm down. None of us will hurt you. We’re just taking you home so you can rest, get some food, and have a safe place to stay until things get sorted.”

I stopped fighting.

Could I trust them?

Was Philly telling me the truth?

Kraken eased his hold on me, but didn’t release me completely.

I swayed and nearly passed out.

He cursed and clutched me to his chest again.

Everything was swimming and black dots started to dance across my vision.

“I think we need some rooms for the night,” Titan said.

“We’ll head back home after she’s had some food and sleep. I don’t think she can sit on the back of a bike in her present state.”

Philly pulled out his phone, scrolling and tapping.

“There’s a motel two blocks up. The pictures on the website seem decent enough. Old but clean. I’ll grab some food and meet you there,” Philly said.

“Just get something for her. I’ll order pizzas for the rest of us,” Titan said.

“She probably needs something healthier.”

“On it,” Philly said, then he swung his leg over his bike.

As he drove off, Kraken led me over to the motorcycle he rode.

He hesitated a moment, eyeing me and the machine.

With a shrug, he got on the bike, then pulled me down in front of him.

He started the bike, then place a hand against my abdomen to hold onto me.

Slowly, he eased down the street, going so slow that if there had been more traffic, people would have likely been upset with him.

He pulled into the motel right where Philly had said it would be.

Instead of getting off, he left the engine running and just held onto me.

Probably a good thing since I felt like I was seconds away from passing out.

Titan went inside and came back what felt like hours later.

I wasn’t entirely certain I hadn’t fallen asleep.

He handed a keycard to Kraken, and one to Stone.

Without a word, he got back on his bike and led the way down to where I assumed the rooms were located.

He used his keycard to enter the first-floor room marked 22 and nodded his head to the rooms on either side.

“Kraken, you can either room with Stone and let Philly watch over her, since he knows her language, or you can keep an eye on her and Philly can room with Stone for tonight. Each room has two beds.” Titan stepped into his room.

“I’ll have the pizza brought to my room. Once you’re settled, come over and we’ll eat.”

Stone and Kraken shut off their bikes.

I awkwardly tried to get up and couldn’t manage.

However long I’d walked and been without food, my body had reached the point of no return.

I needed sleep and food.

Stone picked me up, cradling me in his arms.

It reminded me of the tender way Slider had carried me into the bathroom and I almost started crying.

It wasn’t that I had gotten attached to him in the short time we spent together tonight, but more the idea of everything I’d lost.

I’d thought we were married, that we would have started a family.

Now I had nothing and no one.

Stone paused in front of the door to the left of Titan’s.

“Are you staying with her or is Philly?”

“We’ll ask him when he gets back. For now, just put her in there. If he wants to stay with her, then we’ll take the other room,” Kraken said.

I wanted to tell them I didn’t need a babysitter, but as weak as I felt they might be right.

I must have fallen asleep again because the next thing I knew, I smelled food.

Philly sat in a chair at the small table and had a sack in front of him from a sandwich shop.

I pushed myself upright in bed and the room spun.

“Easy,” Philly said.

“I got you a sandwich and some soup. Which do you want first?”

“Soup,” I said, knowing that would settle my stomach better.

After being hungry for so long, I worried the sandwich would be too heavy first off.

Philly brought over a small plastic bowl and spoon.

He handed them to me, but my hands were shaking.

Instead, he sat on the edge of the bed and fed me one bite at a time.

I hated being so much trouble.

The men had been nice to me, so far.

I was a bit concerned they would reach out to Slider.

Would he be angry and want me returned?

I knew he didn’t want me, but what if he’d been mad enough to want me punished?

It wasn’t my fault!

I hadn’t realized he didn’t know about the marriage.

It had never occurred to me that Surge had set up the entire thing and never told him.

Who did that sort of thing?

I managed to eat all of the soup, then Philly helped me to the bathroom.

He shut the door, staying on the other side, while I took care of business.

When I was finished, he braced me while I washed my hands, then carried me back to bed.

As tempting as the sandwich sounded, I was too tired to even think of eating anything else.

I felt the light touch of his fingers across my brow as sleep pulled me under.