Page 50 of Slew Foot (Scoring Chances #3)

As the Harriers reached the end of March, they were still teetering on the edge of elimination and Mickey was still feeling like shit.

He felt weird talking to the team psychologist about his sex life, so he’d reached out to The Blueliner Initiative that Felix Hale had started. Louie, the middle-aged guy he’d been matched with was a former AHL player and had been easy to talk to.

Knowing what Rafe was going through was normal and happened to a lot of guys, made it easier.

Louie had also encouraged him to volunteer at a local shelter.

Mickey found one the team had worked with before and they got him in and trained pretty quickly.

He suspected he’d been allowed to have a much cushier volunteer position than most people where he got to play with the animals in exchange for doing some social media posting to promote the adoptable animals, but he wasn’t complaining.

It seemed like a pretty sweet deal to Mickey.

And Tom had been right. It helped .

It was harder for Mickey to feel sorry for himself when he had a lapful of squirmy, wriggling puppies all trying to lick him.

Or a kitten climbing up the back of his shirt to purr in his ear.

The barking and mewing didn’t always help the ringing, but the animals didn’t care when he couldn’t hear anything but the ring-woosh in his ear.

They were happy to see him. And he was happy to see them.

The positive mood carried over to the careful yoga he did and the time he spent with Rafe. His head wasn’t any better but he and Rafe were solid now.

They’d also gone online and found some good ideas for ways Mickey could be in charge without having to put forth a lot of effort.

Mickey wasn’t sure he’d ever call himself a dominant, Rafe was meh on being called a submissive, and neither of them had any desire to join the BDSM community in an official way, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t use their online resources.

There were forums with people discussing options for dominants with chronic illnesses or disabilities who needed lower energy ideas for how to be what their submissive needed.

In the end, they both realized Rafe liked to feel useful and have the structure and stability Mickey provided. And Mickey liked providing it.

So they found other ways to work it into their lives.

As much as Mickey preferred to take care of Rafe by making him coffee or driving him to the rink, they flipped that so Mickey was allowing Rafe to do those things for him .

Mickey gave him some morning tasks like making the bed and throwing the laundry in, which he took to eagerly.

But he also washed Mickey in the shower on days he was too dizzy to stand on his own and well, best of all, they’d discovered cockwarming .

When they’d read about it, Mickey had gotten so hard he’d been dizzy for a reason that had nothing to do with concussions, and Rafe seemed equally into the idea.

Sometimes, when they were winding down for the night in their bedroom, Rafe lay down with his head in Mickey’s lap. Mickey would take his cock out, offering it to Rafe, and he’d shift closer, closing his mouth around the head.

Even when he was soft, it felt so good to have Rafe’s warm mouth sink over him and hold him there. Rafe didn’t do anything but lightly suck, his eyes closed as Mickey gently ran his fingers through Rafe’s hair.

He got hard sometimes but usually softened after a while.

It wasn’t even really about sex, Mickey realized after they’d done it a couple of times. It was comfort .

It was the way it made Rafe feel useful and connected to Mickey and it gave Mickey that heady feeling of being in control, without having to push himself too hard.

In short, it was everything they needed right now.

It made it a little easier for Mickey to tell Rafe how he was feeling with the soft warmth of Rafe’s mouth surrounding him and the heavy weight of his head against his thigh.

Tonight, Tanner was out with a couple of guys from the team and Mickey and Rafe had been watching a TV show together. Mickey wasn’t surprised when Rafe stretched out on the couch with his head in his lap.

Or, when halfway into the show, Rafe flipped over, ignoring the TV and tugging at Mickey’s waistband. Mickey obligingly lifted his hips and let Rafe pull his sweatpants and his underwear down around his knees.

“We’ll have to keep an ear out for Tanner coming back,” he warned. “Well, you will, because I might miss it.”

“I will, I promise,” Rafe said, looking up at him with big eager eyes Mickey couldn’t resist.

So Mickey threaded a hand through Rafe’s hair and guided his head toward his cock. His lashes fluttered closed at the same time as he carefully sucked Mickey in, and Mickey felt a wash of tender appreciation for him.

Rafe was everything Mickey had ever wanted, and more.

“Sometimes I wonder if I deserve you,” he whispered.

A frown flickered across Rafe’s face, but he didn’t stop the soft, barely perceptible suction or even open his eyes.

“You’re so …” Mickey struggled to find the right word. It was easier in German. Easier to explain the feelings in his native tongue. Sometimes English felt so limited . But he pressed on anyway, whispering how wonderful Rafe was, how he wanted to spend the rest of his life showing Rafe that.

Promising he’d never, ever take that for granted. That he saw Rafe’s devotion and cherished it.

He admitted how it ate at him sometimes, late in the night when the infernal ringing kept him awake, staring at the ceiling and contemplating his uncertain future, that fear he would lose Rafe.

With Rafe looking up at Mickey through his lashes with his cock in his mouth, Mickey could admit how scared he was that his career was over.

When he did that now, Rafe made a sad, worried noise around him. Mickey soothed him, brushing his thumb across Rafe’s cheek, struck by how beautiful he was.

Like this and always.

“But I’ll keep fighting,” Mickey promised thickly. “To not let that fear come between us.”

At that Rafe lifted his head, going up on one elbow to frown at him.

Mickey frowned too, though mostly at the feeling of cold air against his cock. “Did I tell you to stop?” he asked as sternly as he could manage. All Rafe had to do was tap three times on his thigh if he needed a break or a sip of water.

He hadn’t done that this time.

“No, but I had an idea. Can I tell you about it?” Rafe asked, so earnest and happy Mickey didn’t have the heart to tell him no.

“Yes,” he said instead.

“What if you went and got tested? Like for STIs.”

Mickey winced. He really should have done that before now. It wasn’t like oral sex was completely safe and the thought of doing anything that might harm Rafe made him feel a little ill.

He was probably fine but probably wasn’t good enough for Rafe. Not when he deserved the best Mickey could give him.

“For what reason?” Mickey asked with a frown. “I mean, I know it’s important, but I thought we agreed we weren’t going to worry about it for now.”

He felt a flicker of unease. What if Rafe wasn’t happy with what they were doing?

But Rafe shrugged. “Yeah, I know, but I was thinking it could be like … something for you to look forward to?”

Mickey considered the idea.

Most days, mutual handjobs were their best option. Rafe sometimes blew Mickey when he was feeling better and Mickey’d had a brief window where he’d even felt good enough to fuck Rafe’s thighs again.

Rafe had offered to ride him, and Mickey certainly wasn’t opposed to the idea at some point. He’d pictured cuffing Rafe’s hands behind his back and making him work for it.

But he had a very specific fantasy about what he wanted to do the first time he put his cock in Rafe’s ass that he couldn’t quite shake. That was definitely something he was looking forward to.

“Yeah,” he said slowly. “I like that idea.”

Rafe beamed. “Awesome. Maybe we can go to the clinic tomorrow?”

“You have a game,” Mickey reminded him and yeah, that stung, because he wanted to be the ice with Rafe, damn it. But he was learning to deal with the reminders that, for now, this was his reality.

“Okay, well, the day after then.” Rafe shrugged.

“Okay,” Mickey agreed, ignoring the faint ringing in his ear that was a sign the tinnitus would probably get worse soon. Whatever. He was too happy to care right now.

“Awesome.” Rafe beamed.

Mickey had heard Tanner describe him as being a hunk when he was serious and the biggest goober there was when he smiled. Mickey still wasn’t entirely sure what a goober was, but there was something endearingly goofy about Rafe’s big grin and the way it made his eyes squinch shut.

It made him love Rafe even more.

“Now,” Mickey said, trying to keep from smiling and act stern. “Get back to keeping my cock warm.”

Rafe settled back down, placing his cheek against Mickey’s thigh. His hair brushing against Mickey’s bare skin made him shiver.

Mickey wasn’t the only one enjoying the warmer weather in Boston lately.

It hadn’t lasted for long, but there had been one hot day last week where Rafe had walked around the apartment in a crop top and short shorts while he did the chores Mickey gave him.

Mickey had thought that despite the shit going on with his head, he was the luckiest man alive.

My himbo, Mickey thought with a familiar fond squeeze of his heart as Rafe took his cock in his mouth again.

Rafe’s jaw had begun to ache, and he was thinking about tapping out and taking a small break when he heard a horrified shriek.

“My eyes!” Tanner hollered.

Startled, Rafe nearly bit down on Mickey’s cock, and he pulled back abruptly in horror, falling off the couch and onto his ass on the floor with a loud thud.

Mickey cursed and fumbled for a throw pillow, clapping it against his groin.

“Argghhh, warn a guy, would you?” Tanner shouted, dramatically clapping a hand over his eyes.

“Fuck, my ear!” Mickey cried, clutching the side of his head.

And Rafe … all he could do was laugh.