Page 37 of Size Queen

He responds in a hurry. I’ve been better. But I’m better now.

Sorry I’ve been ghosting you, I text back. I’ve been busy and have had a lot on my mind.

It’s okay, he replies. Same here actually. I must admit, I’ve been worried about you. Are we cool?

Of course we’re cool Why wouldn’t we be?

We were talking and seeing each other every day. I was just worried I said or did something.

It’s not you, it’s me lol, I respond. Please don’t be mad at me.

I could never get mad at you, he says. I just want to know you’re okay.

I’ve been really sick actually, I text. I don’t know if I can hang out tonight. I feel terrible.

Ah, say no more, he replies, likely assuming I’m referring to my period (if only).Is there anything I can do?

You can tell me what’s going on with you and the cops.

Cops?? Who you been talking to? lol

Sabrina told me she’s been sleeping with your friend Kace and he mentioned something about it, I reply. I’m not trying to snitch, but that’s what’s up.

Fair enough, he says. A rival group here in town burned their clubhouse down trying to kill me and my friends. Now they’re saying we burned it ourselves. Cops are getting nosy, and it’s getting old. It’s bullshit, but we’re working on it.

I see.

We didn’t do it, he says. They’re setting us up. They’ve been trying to take over all of Miami for months, and they’re moving in for the kill.

I don’t know how to respond at first—this is unfamiliar, treacherous territory for me—but after enough time passes, he continues his line of texts.

I’ll be real, I miss you, Damon texts. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know if the cops are going to arrest me or if I’m about to become part of a gang war. All I know is I’ve been thinking about you day and night since we’ve been apart. I hope we can see each other really soon. If not, I get it. Just know that you’re the only woman I want. Take care of yourself.

Somehow, despite the finality his last text carries, I don’t feel like we’re done yet. I feel like I’ve been handed a reprieve in the baby department. Damon continues to come off as a compassionate and understanding man. He does what he does knowing that it might carry consequences. I hate how much that turns me on. I also figure, with what I’m suddenly plotting, it’s okay to keep the pregnancy a secret a little longer.

I can’t remember a day in recent history where I felt and looked more repulsive. This doesn’t stop me, because my flame for Damon burns brighter than whatever self-image issues I might be harboring. He needs to know how much I still want him…

I strip off my clothes and take several snapshots of my full naked body on my phone. I send him two of them, along with a message:

I’ve been thinking about you a lot, too… Don’t think I don’t miss you.

He doesn’t respond immediately, and he explains why in his next text:

I’m masturbating to your pictures right now... I want that body.

I join him in masturbation, rubbing my hand between my legs. Whatisn’ta secret is just how wet this man can make me without any effort at all.