Page 17 of Single Mom for the Mountain Men (Mountain Men Why Choose #3)

“Tanner?” I call out before knocking softly on his door. “Do you want dinner? It’s getting cold.”

There’s no response. I hear a few taps and thumps behind his closed door, so I know that he’s awake and moving around.

I turn the doorknob after calling his name again and swing the door open slowly.

Tanner is standing by his bed, his phone in his hand and his shirt thrown on a chair. There are a few scrapes around his waist, and bruises litter his biceps. There’s a tiny, red scrape right below his left cheekbone. He looks up as I come inside and tug the door so it closes behind me.

“Tanner,” I begin, “you don’t want dinner?”

“Lena, I’m not in the mood,” he snaps, his voice like a scissor cutting straight through paper.

“Okay, okay,” I say, raising my hands up defensively. “Don’t have dinner, then. You don’t need to be rude to me.”

“Lena…I’m sorry…I’m just…I don’t want dinner,” he replies sharply, but he still doesn’t look at me.

“Are you sure?” I press.

He throws his phone on the bed and rubs his palms over his face. “Yes,” he mutters.

“Well, all right. Who were those men? Why did they ambush you like that?” I decide to cut directly to the chase.

The entire scene had been harrowing, to say the least. One moment, Tanner had been smirking at me, talking about something, and the next moment, some guy had taken a swing at him in the middle of a crowd.

Neither Aiden or Brody knew who this guy was who had attacked Tanner, and they didn’t even know why he was attacked in the first place.

Their faces had been grim, and their responses monosyllabic.

I got the feeling that they were more pissed about the sudden ambush than they were worried about Tanner, which made me even more confused.

“It doesn’t concern you.”

“But they wanted to hurt you. They did hurt you,” I insist. “What did they want? And why did you run off instead of settling it with them then and there?” Why do your brothers know nothing about this? What are you hiding from them?

“Why aren’t you answering me!” I raise my voice, frustrated beyond belief when he doesn’t reply. “Just tell me.”

“It’s not your fucking business, Lena!” he bursts out, finally looking at me so he can glare at me. “Why you feel the need to have your nose in other people’s business is beyond me. Learn to take no for an answer, for fuck’s sake.”

I startle at the venom in his tone, and the scowl on my face melts into a blank expression. His words shred through me like an arrow, but I try my best to not let it show on my face. He has never spoken to me this way before. It shakes me to my core, scaring me for a second.

Involuntarily, reminders of James rise in my mind, but I push the thoughts down automatically, not wanting to spiral when I know Tanner isn’t being cruel on purpose.

I don’t think I’m being intrusive when I ask him about the people who attacked him, since I was present when it happened, along with my daughter. Still, if he thinks that I am, then I can’t change his mind.

“Fine. Be that way,” I tell him simply, my voice shakier than I would like it to be, and then, I leave his room.

My hand shakes around the doorknob as I twist it closed behind me before I walk off toward the living room.

Before I get too far, I hear Tanner’s voice call out to me. “Lena!”

I continue walking without responding or even looking back at him. There’s nothing I want to say to him now.

“Lena, wait! Hear me out!”

His hand grips my shoulder as he spins me around.

“Don’t put your hands on me,” I order him brusquely, my eyes narrowed and a finger raised at him in warning.

He takes a step back, and his face crumples with worry. “All right, all right, I’m sorry. I won’t, okay? I just want to talk to you about—”

“I don’t care. I don’t want to put my nose into places where it doesn’t belong,” I throw his words back at him, feeling a vindictive rush crawl through my body.

He frowns, looking ashamed. “I shouldn’t have said that, it’s not true. You only care for us, and that’s why you—”

“I don’t want to know,” I cut him off and fold my arms across my chest. “I don’t want to speak to you now. Do you understand me?”

“Lena,” he says defeatedly, shoulders drooping, “please, give me a chance to apologize. I never wanted to yell at you. Hurting you was never my intention, and I don’t think I can forgive myself if you stay mad at me.”

His voice is small, and his eyes are honest. The defensive position his body was in when I walked into his room has now mellowed into a softer, more receptive posture.

It becomes harder and harder to be mad at him, knowing the things he just ran away from.

God knows what happened out there when we all deserted him.

I sigh and blink at him. “All right. Let’s go to your room and talk.”

I accompany him back to his room, where he starts confessing everything. “Lena, I’m sorry. I never meant to yell at you or hurt you. Believe me, that wasn’t my intention. It was a very shitty thing to do, and I should have known better.”

“And you guys come at Aiden for having the shortest temper,” I mutter under my breath before sitting down on the chair.

He looks adequately chastised. “If you don’t want to forgive me now, I get it. I’m not forcing you to accept my apology. I’ll tell you about those men since you are the only one who cared enough to ask me about them.”

I nod at him, so he continues his story after taking a deep breath.

“I told you about my gambling habits, right? It was very hard to get out—and by that, I mean just the habit itself. The debt I racked up because of that shit is something I can never pay back, even if I were to rob banks for weeks on end. It isn’t humanly possible for me to pay it back in this lifetime. ”

He sighs and paces around the room, clearly trying to gather his thoughts.

“That guy, the short one, is one of the lackeys of this gang I borrowed money from. They’re loan sharks.

They hand out loans to people desperate for money, knowing they can’t ever pay the gang back.

The same thing happened to me, except I gave them a fake name, so they could never track me down.

Tanner Pratt. When he said that to me, the hair on my body stood up.

It had been years since I had heard that name, but I knew I was fucked.

They found me, and they were prepared to take their pound of flesh.

I evaded them the best I could because I knew I couldn’t fight off all of them, especially not all at once. ”

“Is there someone who might have snitched on you? Told them your location?”

He scoffs out a derisive laugh, scratching at his scalp.

“Who wouldn’t snitch on me is the question.

I don’t know how they found me, but there’s so many people I wronged that it feels like there’s a target on my back every time I leave the cabin.

My gut tells me that…something has changed recently. ”

“Oh.”

“I—this is the thing I regret the most. I fell in with the wrong crowd at the wrong time. It would bring me the best adrenaline rush of my life, but I’ve been paying for it for years.”

“Why don’t you let Aiden and Brody help you out?” I propose softly, hoping he doesn’t blow up at the suggestion.

He sighs. “There’s no point. This is my problem, and I will deal with it on my own. God knows they suffer enough humiliation when they have to deal with my shit out in public like this. They were really excited to go to the farmers’ market with you and Sophie. I was, too. But…”

I approach Tanner slowly, as if I’m trying not to spook a wild animal. Once I’m in front of him, I look him directly in the eye. His face is void of any emotion, apart from the furrowing of his brows and the flat line of his mouth. But his eyes show his worry clearly.

“I don’t think your brothers think of it as trouble, Tanner,” I say gingerly.

“They care for you, so they’ll help you, even if it is unpleasant.

That is how love works. You go to lengths you don’t think are possible just so someone you love is happy or content or safe.

Brody and Aiden would ride or die for you. ”

The corners of his mouth rise slightly. “Lena, you don’t understand the whole situation. You know that Brody has PTSD, right?”

I rock on the balls of my feet, rolling my lower lip into my mouth. “Yeah, I do.”

“Then, you also must know that he gets panic attacks, sometimes more frequently than he can stand. You think Aiden and I don’t know about it?

We do. But we don’t ask him how he is. We don’t go into his room when he’s facing that.

Once he’s better, we all sit together or cook something he likes.

We watch something on TV while cracking open a cold one.

That silent support we offer him keeps his dignity intact.

It allows him to feel that he’s still strong, that he’s still the same Brody. ”

“But you both don’t judge him for what he’s going through. You know he’s suffered, so talking about it is better,” I counter, confused by his line of reasoning.

“It’s not about judgment. It’s about support.

We know whatever has happened, has happened, and that offering empty words won’t help.

Just like today, when Aiden and Brody knew to leave with you two when I ordered them to.

They could have gone against my word, and one of them could have stayed behind to back me up, but they didn’t.

That is their way of trusting my word and showing me support.

It shows that they trust me enough to make it back home safely. ”

I blink, my mouth parting open, then closing again a moment later.

“I can’t say I get what you mean, but if this is how you feel it should be, I can’t change your mind.

If I was in your brothers’ shoes, though, I would have stayed behind and escaped with you.

Not because I don’t trust your word or doubt your capabilities, but because I care about you and want you to be safe. ”

He gives me the usual Tanner smile, only it’s less cocksure.

“We have always worked this way, Lena. We all have our demons, but this is how the three of us choose to deal with them. Of course, if it was you, you would have chosen to deal with it differently. You’ve probably made choices in your worst times that we would have done differently.

That doesn’t make anyone right or wrong. It’s just how things are.”

I frown. “I guess, yeah.”

His eyes soften slightly as he looks down at me, stepping close so our toes brush. He brings his hand up and cups my cheek, caressing my skin with his thumb.

“Thank you, though, for caring about me and talking with me about it. I like that you cared enough to check on me, and I’m also sorry for the way I reacted.”

“It’s all right, Tanner,” I respond softly and hold onto his wrist, “I know now that it must have felt invasive, since you don’t talk about these things with anyone. I accept your apology.”

We smile at each other for a moment, time slowing to a stop around us. In the soft light of his room, everything feels dreamy, like we’re suspended in some magical place where responsibilities and limits don’t exist.

Our breathing is in sync, and I feel at peace like I have never before.

Tanner’s face is soft. The usual cockiness that his posture exudes is gone.

The bond I’ve felt with him ever since we started spending time together has gotten stronger and stronger.

It feels like it’s unbreakable now. I feel connected to him and much closer to understanding the way his mind works with its little idiosyncrasies.

It feels…nice. Rewarding. Like I’m doing something right. Like things are falling into place.