Page 8

8

MIA

Jane … At the moment, I hated the fake name. I wanted to hear him say Mia in that deep, sexy voice of his. But blurting out my real name when he was almost all the way inside me was a bad idea.

“Uh, really long…” As in never… I wiggled my hips and wrapped my legs tighter around him, forcing him to slide in a little deeper. I winced but ignored the slight discomfort.

“Please, don’t stop.”

“I don’t want to, but you look uncomfortable,” he murmured as he caressed my thighs. “Maybe I should stop.” The gentle gesture comforted me and helped me to relax, and I gazed up at Michael with even more stars in my eyes. Was he always this patient and sweet beneath his serious mask?

“It’s okay now. I’m okay.” The note of desperation in my voice bordered on pathetic, but I couldn’t bear to come this close to having him possess me completely just to stop.

“Are you sure?”

I reached up to run my fingertips over his perfectly toned chest, and his muscles bunched in response to my touch. “I’m sure.”

He watched me closely as he continued to ease himself deeper into me. Him watching me like that both turned me on and made me nervous. There was just something about the intensity of his stare…

As I grew accustomed to his invasion, each inch felt more amazing than the last. His thrusts gradually became more powerful, each of them sending sparks of pleasure through my body. He repositioned himself over me so he could snag my wrists to pin them above my head. I gasped with delight at the new angle and his show of dominance.

“I imagined binding your wrists above your head just like this with my tie, but I lost the damn thing somewhere between the elevator and your living room.” He sounded both amused and annoyed.

A little laugh escaped me followed by a moan. I’d never wanted to be bound to a bed by a man so badly. With a guttural sound that told me he was done holding back, he swooped down to capture my mouth. He kissed me just as deeply as he moved inside me, and I shook with the beginning of another orgasm.

I arched my back to match his movements and chase that delicious release. When I caught up to it, I tensed as if my body had to prepare for the blast of pleasure. He tore his lips from mine to look at me again because apparently he liked to watch me come. That was hot too… Everything about the man was hot.

“Michael!” I screamed his name as white, hot bliss that was almost too much robbed me of my breath. Satisfaction gleamed in his eyes as he watched me and then followed me over the edge. He groaned my name—I wished it was my real one—and collapsed on top of me. He didn’t move for a while as if he struggled to gather his strength and wits just as I did. There was something satisfying about making such a big and powerful man as weak as he made me.

My first time was incredible. I officially loved sex, and I wanted more of it with Michael.

I got what I wanted… more sex with Michael. We used a few condoms out of that box. More than I thought we would. He was insatiable and had the stamina of a stallion. I didn’t know if he was always up and raring to go like that or if it was because he hadn’t had sex in that long. Either way, it was an unexpected and glorious night.

I was a risk taker, but I’d never imagined I’d take my blind date back to my place. I even fell asleep in his arms. And I felt safe . That was what every girl wanted, wasn’t it? The way he looked out for me last night and held me while I slept confirmed he was one of the good guys.

I had a smile on my face as I stretched and reached a hand out towards him. My hand hit the mattress, and I came fully awake to search the room. Michael paused in the process of stepping into his pants when our eyes locked.

Disappointment hit me in the chest. “Were you going to sneak out?”

“No. I just didn’t want to wake you yet. I would have told you I was leaving when I was dressed.”

“Oh…” I nibbled on my lip. “It’s still early. You can stay a little longer.”

“I can’t. I have to pick up my… I have to go.”

As I watched him dress, there was a kick in my gut. He seemed in a rush as if… he had to get to someone. “Oh, God, you’re not married, are you?”

His eyebrows hiked up. “No.”

Relief swamped. “Then have breakfast with me.” I smiled. “I know you have your reservations.” I waved a hand as if to fan off the whole age thing, so we could forget about it and move on. “But after last night, I’m thinking we can?—”

“Jane…”

My mouth snapped shut and that hope I had of a romance dwindled when I saw the remorseful look on his face.

“I don’t want you to think I’m an asshole…” He sighed heavily. His shirt was still open and I could see the ripple of his muscles as he shoved his fingers through his hair. “Maybe I am because I shouldn’t have slept with you knowing that I didn’t want anything more, but last night was…”

“It was great,” I said, hoping the reminder would help to sway him toward the idea of us.

“Sure, but it didn’t change anything. I still don’t think we’d be a good idea.”

“I’m not saying we have to get serious. I was thinking along the lines of another date to see where things lead. We had fun last night.” I hoped I didn’t sound desperate. I wasn’t . I was simply the type who wasn’t afraid to try my hand at love and relationships. My mother often chastised me for wearing my heart on my sleeve, but I was like my grandmother, the biggest cheerleader for romance.

“My life isn’t set up for dating a…”

“Twenty-one-year-old?” I finished. I took his lack of a response to mean yes. My lips twisted sardonically. “Of course, I’d lose my virginity to a man who doesn’t want to see me again.” With my luck, that sounded about right.

“What?” Michael gawked at me. “You were a…? For the love of God!”

I folded my lips and stared at him through wide eyes. “Crap, I said that out loud.”

He scoffed. “Yeah, you did. You couldn’t have said it out loud last night ?” His eyes were lit with anger, and I just didn’t get it.

For a moment, he eyed me with doubt as if he thought I was lying, but then I could practically see him replaying last night. Whatever he remembered must have confirmed my honesty because he rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily.

“You had a box of condoms at your bedside, for Christ’s sake, and you were a virgin ?”

Heat scalded my face. “They weren’t really mine… long story.” Scrambling out of bed, I hauled the sheet along to keep myself covered. “Wait a minute. You have something against people my age and virgins?” I held up a finger. “Which I’m not anymore, so that should be one thing off your list of things you don’t like about me.”

That must have only infuriated him more because a muscle ticked in his jaw. He pointed an accusing finger at me, and his eyes narrowed to slits. “I have a feeling that if I spend even another minute with you, you’ll send my blood pressure through the roof. You are trouble.”

My mouth opened and closed, but I didn’t deny that I was. He wasn’t the first to say that to me.

“See? You can’t even deny it.” He buttoned up his shirt, tucked it back into his pants with jerky movements, and grabbed his jacket from the back of a chair. “Goodbye, Jane.”

As he stormed to the door, I intercepted him. He halted and glowered so hard at me I should have melted. “I’m sorry, but I don’t get what the big deal is.”

He sighed as if trying to gather the last shreds of his patience. “Alright, let me explain it to you then,” he said softly and calmly.

I liked that about Michael. He didn’t blow his top or throw things when he was angry. Though fury burned in his gorgeous eyes, he was in control and never once made me feel unsafe. That wasn’t the experience I had with my last relationship… not that Michael and I had a relationship.

“Do you remember what I said about my preferences last night?” He asked. “I like when people respect them, just as I respect theirs. I would prefer not to date someone fourteen years my junior, and I would have preferred to not have unwittingly taken one’s virginity. Respect that Jane.”

I swallowed. “Okay, I get it, and I respect it. So you would have stopped last night if I told you you’d be my first lover?”

His features softened slightly. “I’d like to think I would have.”

The sliver of uncertainty in his eyes gave me hope. He might prefer me to be older, but Michael was attracted to me. The blind could see that, and I felt it in the way he touched me—even in the way he looked at me.

“I would have liked the choice to not be taken from me,” he said softly. “And you know what else, Jane?” The severest scowl I’d ever seen darkened his features. “I detest liars.”

Yeah, so he’d said last night. We had an intense staredown, and that’s how I caught the tiniest flicker of pain in his eyes. I doubted he meant for me to see it, but by that look, I could tell that he’d been lied to before. Guilt pulsed through me until my eyes skated away from his. I stepped aside and allowed him to pass. However, my injured pride and hurt feelings made me lie… again. What did it matter if I continued to do the very thing he hated? He was going to walk out the door anyway.

“Michael.”

He stopped and turned to me. His scowl was gone and in its place was… nothing. His expression was perfectly schooled, and I envied him that ability.

“Last night wasn’t that big of a deal, you know. It was just sex.” I shrugged. “A one-night stand with a blind date is cool with me.”

He inclined his head. “Good. Take care, Jane.”

I didn’t move until I heard his footsteps recede, and the front door open and close. The relieved note of that “Good” irked me. It was like he would’ve felt guilty if I hadn’t told him it was cool, as if he thought I’d cry over him or something.

I snorted as a tear slid down my cheek. “That decent asshole…” If there was such a thing. My tears weren’t all about Michael. They were more about my disappointment in myself for continuing my cycle of fucking everything up. When would I stop being such a mess?

I dashed away another tear and sniffed. “Get a hold of yourself,” I hissed. With that, I pulled in a steadying breath and squared my shoulders.

On the bright side—sort of—at least I had amazing sex my first time through the gate. Plus, I could live in delusion and pretend that it was “Jane Roberts” who lost her virginity to a virtual stranger and not me. The only slight comfort I had was that I’d never have to live through the humiliation of seeing Michael No-last-name again.