Page 18

18

MICHAEL

I watched Mia tiptoe into the kitchen from my corner beside Aunt Neddy’s liquor cabinet. The moonlight from the window didn’t reach me, so she had no idea I was there. She looked over her shoulder before advancing to the refrigerator where she took out the rest of Neddy’s birthday cake. My annoyance mounted as she cut a huge slice, sat on a stool, and dug in. I’d been torturing myself for hours, and there she was enjoying cake.

“If it isn’t the cake burglar,” I finally drawled.

Mia let out a yelp as she whipped around and jumped off her stool. Clutching her chest, she peered into the darkness. I emerged, carrying a bottle of Irish whiskey and the half-empty glass I’d been nursing for thirty minutes.

“Michael.” She scoffed. “I’m not stealing. Neddy said I could have as much as I want. What are you doing lurking in the dark?”

“I wasn’t lurking.” I’d been sitting here, wallowing in worry about losing another nanny because I couldn’t keep my dick in my pants, which was a first for me. “What are you doing scoffing down cake at two a.m.?”

She folded her lips, and in the dim light, I saw her cheeks turn pink. “I couldn’t sleep, and I’m a bit of a stress eater.”

“A bit?” I eyed the massive slice of cake. She gave me a dirty look that made me want to smile, but I reminded myself that I was supposed to be irritated with her and I scowled instead. “Are you feeling guilty for avoiding me for…” I switched on the light over the island and looked at my watch. “Six hours? Is that why you couldn’t sleep?”

Mia performed the most dramatic eye roll I’d seen to date. “Do you have to do that all the time? Check your watch like this?”

I watched in disbelief as she mimicked me and repeated in a deep tone, “Six hours.”

If I wasn’t so pissed, I’d probably laugh.

“Why are you even wearing a watch right now? Do you sleep in it? I bet you do.” She snorted. “Goodness, you’re so rigid.”

I ground my molars together. She was unbelievable. “If I were so rigid, I wouldn’t have fucked you in my childhood treehouse, would I?”

That wiped the smug look off her face. Her gaze slid away from me, and her blush intensified. Satisfied, I sat and patted the stool beside me. She sighed heavily and reluctantly sat. She watched me with raised eyebrows and a hint of skepticism as I reached for another glass, poured whiskey, and slid it to her.

“Aren’t I on the clock?” she asked.

“It’s two a.m.,” I reminded her. “Poppy is fast asleep, and you’ve got permission from the boss to indulge a little.”

She blew out a breath and picked up the glass to throw back the whiskey as if she really needed it… as I did. We drank in silence for a while, and she ate more cake. Finally, she said, “I wasn’t avoiding you.”

“Right.” I gazed straight ahead as I continued to formulate the right things to say about what happened between us earlier.

“I was getting cleaned up like I said, and then I tucked Poppy into bed.”

“What were we doing for the next five hours?”

She shrugged and gave me a sheepish look. “Catching up on some reading?”

I glared at her, and she huffed.

“Hey, you avoided me after we kissed on the plane, so we’re even.”

A little laugh escaped me, which surprised me. Mia seemed taken aback, too. “Mia Clarke, you are… a pain in my ass.” And my balls. I’d suffered through quite a few cases of blue balls watching her prancing around my apartment with her effervescence and sunny disposition, not being able to touch her… until tonight.

“You’re not such a walk in the park to deal with either, Michael Hayes,” she shot back. I knew she would retaliate because I’d seen her flash of temper after our blind date, and I didn’t hate it.

As I swiveled around, I turned her stool too, so we faced each other. Mia glowered at me and it was so goddamn stimulating that I wanted to forget about talking and just kiss her. I even entertained thoughts of taking her right here on the counter in my aunt’s kitchen, which was crazy and irresponsible of me. I hadn’t behaved like this until I met this maddening woman.

“You’re like a fucking wrecking ball to my peaceful life,” I said.

She scoffed. “And you’re… your’re… my boss, so I can’t even call you what I really want to.”

I laughed, and her eyes widened to saucers. Without thinking, I leaned forward and kissed her. It wasn’t supposed to happen. We were supposed to be discussing serious business, but I couldn’t help myself. Mia kissed me back for a hot second. However, just as I deepened the kiss, she shoved at my chest and wrenched her lips away from mine.

She jumped up and backed away from me as if I were a threat. “Michael.” She glanced over her shoulder and then back at me with wide eyes. “We’re in your aunt’s kitchen,” she whisper-shouted. “Poppy could wake up and walk in here at any moment. Have you lost your mind?”

Tucking my chin into my chest, I blew out a long breath. “Yes, I think I have.”

Her eyebrows furrowed.

I shrugged. “I…” I didn’t like being lied to, and I wouldn’t lie to her. “I want you, okay? I told myself that what happened two months ago never needed to happen again. I tried to convince myself that I was no longer interested in you sexually. Tonight and last night after that kiss… Obviously, I’m still interested in you.”

“You said I was too young for you,” she said.

“I did. I guess I was wrong about that, too.”

She threw her hands up. “You warned me about crossing the line of professionalism before you hired me.”

Hands on my hips, I nodded. “I did, and the irony that I’m the one to fold isn’t lost on me.”

Since she just gawked without a word, I took a step toward her and continued. “I’m aware that sleeping together complicates things. I don’t want to lose you as a nanny. We simply need to talk things through and make sure we set clear?—”

“Simply?” Mia snorted. “That’s easy for you to say. You’re my boss. You have all the power here.”

“That’s not true.” I took another step closer to her.

“I’ll admit. I was avoiding you because I didn’t want to talk about what happened tonight. I was so afraid to face you because I didn’t want to hear you tell me you ‘no longer needed my service’ again. That’s what happened when you found out I was the new nanny. And it was because we had slept together.”

I froze and then took a step back because of the sheer misery in her voice. That panic I’d seen earlier clouded her eyes again, leaving me confused. Sure, blurring the lines between us was risky, but what reason did she have to be terrified?

“Alright, maybe I overreacted in the beginning. You have to understand?—”

“No, you have to understand that we shouldn’t do this…” She waved a hand between us. “Look, Michael, you’re a nice guy.”

My eyebrows shot up. Why did it feel like I was about to be broken up with by someone I wasn’t in a relationship with?

“I really was into you when I met you on our blind date.”

I folded my arms over my chest. Maybe it was to brace myself for rejection. I never thought I’d find myself in this position. “You’re not anymore?”

Patches of pink blossomed on her cheeks, and her gaze dropped to the floor. “That’s besides the point. We’re in a different space now. I work for you, and I’m serious about this job.”

I dropped my hands as I softened. “I know you are, and I’m grateful for that.”

“You told me I was doing a good job.”

“And I meant it.” I watched her with mild confusion, wondering where she was going with this.

“I’ve never heard that from anyone before.”

The note of sadness I’d heard before lingered behind her words. “Mia…”

“I mess up everything in my life, Michael.”

I stared at her, feeling completely lost.

“You were right about me. I am trouble, and I am chaotic.”

“I didn’t mean any harm when I said those things…” In fact, I’d come to appreciate the chaos that was Mia Clarke.

“I’m a mess, and I’m trying to not be anymore.” She sighed heavily. “I can’t afford to lose this job because of my usual recklessness. Tonight shouldn’t have happened.”

“I’m the one who started it, Mia,” I reasoned. “Do you think I’m that much of an asshole to fire you when I initiated things?”

She shrugged.

“I’m not .” I felt bad that she spent all night worrying about losing her job. “Why do you keep emphasizing that you can’t afford to lose this job?” Now that I thought about it, she said it too many times. It wasn’t the words—because, hey, we all needed an income—it was how she said it. There was always this shadow of terror in her eyes.

Mia took retreating steps. “N-nothing… I mean, I have bills, that's all. I’m not willing to mess this up, okay? That kiss on the plane and what happened tonight were…”

“Are you really going to call tonight a mistake?” I asked. She’d matched my wild passion tit for tat.

“It wasn’t.”

I was grateful that she didn’t lie to my face.

“But it shouldn’t happen again, and that’s for the best.” Her sigh was slow and long, and it resonated in the silence. “I’m sorry, Michael.” With that, she turned to walk away.

“Mia.”

The tension was visible in her shoulders as she turned around, and apprehension strained her features. I hated it because she seemed to think I was a huge dick who was about to fire her because she didn’t want to sleep with me.

“Don’t be sorry,” I said. “I respect your feelings and what you think is best.”

She blinked and surprise flickered in her eyes. It made me wonder about the dickbags she’d had to deal with before…

“Good night, Mia.”

“Good night.” She gave me one more lingering look before she hurried out.

I stared at the space she vacated long after she left.

“ Sonofabitch ,” I murmured as I shoved my fingers through my hair. There I was, about to throw caution to the wind to carry on an affair with Mia, and she had to be the responsible one to shut that shit down. What had gotten into me? I took a deep breath to rein in my frustration and irritation with myself.

I’d respect Mia’s wishes and stay the hell away from her, of course, but that didn’t mean I would stop wanting her. It was the damndest thing… I just couldn’t shake her since our first night together. Nevertheless, it was back to cold showers and pretending I didn’t want my daughter’s nanny in my bed.