Page 16

“Hold your breath.”

Titan held me as we submerged into the warm water – resting, waiting, relaxing in his embrace. When we surfaced, it was just far enough that our noses and eyes broke through, leaving us content with the massage from the hot tub jets.

My consciousness faded in and out. And vaguely, I witnessed his care as he washed my body and caressed my pussy and ass with soft pressure.

When I woke up it was to him watching me, and I was thankful that this time he hadn’t disappeared but continued to hold me until we met again.

Soft lips pressed into my mouth, and I opened and let him consume my tongue.

“I’m never leaving…”

He smiled against my lips and his deep chuckle vibrated against my belly as my stomach growled.

“Your body disagrees.”

“I don’t have to leave to get food.”

The ringing of the phone on his nightstand indicated someone was at the front door and I drew back.

“Are you expecting company?”

He stared at me. “Who would I ever invite into this space other than you and The Paradox?”

I shrugged. “Your family, maybe.”

His gaze turned into a glare, and he scowled. “I don’t have a family.”

“Your estranged family.”

“I don’t have a family,” he repeated.

I sighed. “They seem to want to get to know you.”

“Santari.”

“Titan.”

We had a stare down. “Your family that cornered you in the elevator.”

His nostrils flared. “They are not my family, and why the hell would I ever invite them up here?”

“I mean, it’s pretty obvious they want to get to know you.”

“And you got that from that little interaction yesterday?”

“Well, yes.”

He squinted. “Are you ill?”

I pursed my lips. “If it’s true that your brothers never knew about you then it’s not entirely fair that they don’t get to have their brother in their life.”

He snarled. “Fuck them. I didn’t get a lot of things, who gives a fuck what they want?”

“Baby, calm down please.”

The ringing kicked up again and Titan snatched the phone to his ear.

“I’m coming.” He ended the call and turned back to me. “That’s the delivery service. Not unwelcomed visitors whose lives I would never fit into and vice versa.”

He rose from the bed and walked toward the room’s exit.

“You don’t need to fit into their lives,” I said at his back.

He paused but didn’t turn around. “You just need to be. If they are willing to spend time with you and you with them, you can create the world around you to be what you wish. It doesn’t have to look one way or the other.

It can be completely different from their world and your world because it will be one you create together.

That won’t get in the way of who you are or what you do, and the same goes for them. ”

He stood there another second then disappeared from the doorway. It wasn’t my intention to pressure Titan to make a decision when it came to his family. But deep down I felt he wanted a relationship with them. I couldn’t explain why I felt that way, but I did.

Seconds later, the smell of Cuban foods permeated the air, and I threw the covers back and scrambled from the bed.

“Is that—”

“Your favorite food?” Titan asked, standing in front of a tray of dishes as I slid to a stop in the dining room.

My eyes grew and I smiled. “Yes!”

He removed the top to one of the cloche’s and I squealed. “Cuban Empanadas! Did you cook this?”

“Of course I did. But I was out of lemonade, so I had some delivered.”

He poured a glass, and I skipped to the table and paused before sitting. “Wait. What time is it? This is lunch.”

“It’s three pm.”

I gawked. “Are you serious?”

He laughed, deep and heartily. “Why are you so shocked?”

“Because you let me sleep the day away!”

“You were exhausted, lover.” He drew me into an embrace, his mouth sinking into mine as I moaned.

“Well… when you mention that, sure.”

I sat and he pushed the chair underneath me then took a seat across the table. I said a quick prayer and ate at a rate that had him smirking.

“Famished?”

“You have no idea.”

He watched me enjoy my food and I couldn’t come up for air long enough to ask him why he wasn’t eating. But I made note of it.

“I saw you meditating yesterday,” he said. “What do you get from practicing? Does it soothe you?”

I grabbed a napkin, wiped my mouth, and took a sip of the lemonade he poured.

“Initially, I began the practice after my brother’s death. It lessened my anxiety and anger. But now a days meditation keeps me grounded and focused.”

He nodded. “How did you see me? You were gone most of the day?”

“I always see you. I’m watching even when you think I’m not.”

Heat moved through me. Just the mention of his watchful gaze aroused me to no end.

“Who taught you how to properly meditate?”

“A therapist.”

“Hmm.”

“When you were young, did you have nightmares?” I countered.

“Yes.”

“How did you get past them?”

“The fire helped me control my pain, and I became unbothered by what might lurk in the dark once I gained control of the shadows.”

Silence lingered between us. But through that stillness I had a revelation.

“Now you are the fear that comes out of the shadows,” I mused.

He didn’t respond, only stared at me, and I’d come to understand when Titan did that, it was because no further comment was necessary.

I murmured, more to myself than anything. “It was never just about the fire but the control of the shadows…”

“Is that why you asked me if I was having nightmares when I came to you the other night?”

“I asked because I know what taking a life can do to a person if they are ill-prepared.”

I watched him watch me with neither of us speaking for a minute.

“Are you having nightmares, Santari?”

“If I was, would you help me become one with the shadows so I’m no longer afraid?”

“Yes.”

His questioning gaze lingered on me.

“No, I don’t have nightmares. But I would still like for you to show me, just in case. Will you do me that favor?”

“I have an idea.” He pushed back from the table. “How about you teach me how to meditate so I can practice remaining grounded through my anger and anxiety, and I’ll teach you how to become one with the fire so you will never be afraid of anything ever again.”

My body tingled, my excitement palpable.

“Yes. Hell, yes.”

With my hand in his, Titan led me to his master bathroom. “Let’s begin.”

He turned on the sink and squirted a clear gel into my palm.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“Hand sanitizer. Alcohol-based. It’s going to be our fuel.” His voice was steady and commanding. “Pay attention.”

He distributed the gel evenly across my palm, his finger trailing methodically over my skin. “Fire needs three things to exist—fuel, oxygen, and heat. We’re providing the fuel. The air gives us oxygen.”

I nodded, mesmerized by his lesson.

“And this—” he pulled a match from his pocket, “—provides the heat.”

“I’m going to hold actual fire?” My heart raced with anticipation rather than fear.

“You’re not just going to hold it. You’re going to control it.” Titan’s eyes locked with mine. “The flame will burn the alcohol, not your skin—if you respect it.”

He struck the match.

“Don’t flinch,” he commanded, bringing the flame closer to my hand. “Your instinct will tell you to pull away. Ignore it.”

The match touched my palm, and flames spread across my hand much like it did last night in the blue room. The scorch I expected to feel once again was not there. It was heat without burning. Power without pain.

“Oh fuck,” I gasped, staring at the blue-orange flames dancing above my skin.

“Keep your hand flat. Don’t close your fingers, or the fire will burn you,” Titan instructed.

“It didn’t burn me last night with all the folding you did.”

He smirked. “That’s because you were completely covered with my solution, except for key areas, and my solution is a bit different than this sanitizer. We’re using the sanitizer for the purposes of this lesson but when you become more confident with the flames, I will provide the pro lesson.”

Excitement and thrill raced through me. “Okay.”

“You should feel the power of the flame. Acknowledge it. But don’t fear it.”

I watched, transfixed, as fire crawled across my palm. It was alive, dangerous, and beautiful.

“Now turn your hand slowly,” he said. “The fire wants to rise. Control it.”

I rotated my wrist, gasping as the flames crawled towards my fingertips regardless of my hand’s position.

“It’s alive,” I whispered.

“Yes. It’s a living breathing thing. Its direction depends on the one wielding it,” Titan said. “In a few seconds it’ll burn out. When that happens, the alcohol has been consumed.”

Sure enough, the flames diminished, then disappeared, leaving my skin tingling but unharmed.

“Again,” I demanded, my eyes wide with exhilaration.

Titan’s mouth curved slightly. “It’s your turn to be my teacher,” he drew me close, his lips hovering over my mouth. “Then maybe we’ll circle back to this lesson.”

I puckered and kissed his lips, drowning in his mouth’s caress. A tingle slipped through my vertebrae, and I squirmed and sighed.

“Yes, Sir.”

His gaze darkened. “Santari.”

I giggled. “Okay. I’m on my best behavior.”

I led him to the bedroom, pointing to the floor beside the bed. “Sit cross-legged.”

He lowered his massive frame to the carpet, surprisingly graceful for a man his size.

“Back straight,” I instructed. “Hands resting on your knees.”

“Demanding,” he commented but complied without resistance.

“Now close your eyes.”

“I prefer watching you.”

“Titan,” I said firmly. “Close them.”

His eyelids lowered, then he peeked up at me and I giggled.

“Titan!”

His smile was gorgeous and interestingly made his features wickedly sharp instead of soft planed.

“Breathe in through your nose,” I directed, settling myself opposite him. “Fill your belly first, then your chest. Four counts in.”

His chest expanded as he inhaled.

“Hold for seven,” I continued, watching the tension in his shoulders begin to release. “Now exhale through your mouth for eight counts. Push every bit of air out.”

Titan followed my instructions, and his exhalation was smooth and carefree.

“With each breath, feel yourself sinking deeper into the ground,” I murmured. “Let the earth support your weight completely.”

We breathed together in silence for several minutes. His face softened, his jaw unclenched.

“Thoughts will come,” I said. “Don’t fight them. Acknowledge them, then let them float away like leaves on water.”

“There are many leaves,” he murmured, eyes still closed.

“There always are,” I replied. “That’s why we practice.”

After ten minutes, I whispered, “Bring your awareness back to your body. Feel the floor beneath you. The air on your skin.”

Titan’s eyes opened slowly, his gaze sharper yet somehow calmer.

“What did you feel?” I asked.

“Calm,” he answered, his voice rougher than before. “Relaxed, even.”

I smiled. “Again?”

“Yes,” he said. “But this time, let’s combine our lessons.”

Titan produced a small bottle from his pocket and handed it to me.

“More sanitizer?”

“Apply it to both our palms,” he instructed. “We’ll meditate with fire.”

I squeezed the gel onto our hands, my heart racing as he struck a match. Flames erupted across our palms simultaneously.

“Breathe,” I reminded him. “Four in, seven holds, eight out.”

We sat facing each other, fire dancing in our open hands, our breath steady and synchronized. The flames cast flickering shadows across his face, highlighting the angles of his cheekbones and the intensity of his focus.

“This is incredible,” I whispered.

“The fire lives and dies on our palms while we remain,” Titan remarked.

Our eyes locked as the fires slowly extinguished, leaving only the scent of alcohol and burning.

“Again,” he said, his voice husky with desire.

I squeezed more sanitizer onto our palms. He lit the match and flames erupted.

But this time, he leaned forward as we burned, capturing my mouth with his. The kiss was deep, consuming—fire meeting fire.

When he pulled back, the flames on our hands and the one inside me continued to burn.

“I think I prefer this kind of meditation,” Titan murmured against my lips.

I laughed softly. “We’ll make a spiritual man of you yet.”

“Spiritual, no,” he corrected, extinguishing the flames with a twist of his wrists. “But centered in my power? Yes.”

He pulled me into his lap with my hands still warm from the flames. “I believe we have more lessons to exchange.”

He flipped me on my back and sank his mouth between my legs.