K ate stood outside her department, completely numb. She stared up at the sky, blind to the world around her, until somebody took her arm. Startled, she turned to see Simon standing there, looking at her with one of the most tender expressions she ever could have imagined. She pulled herself together and asked, “Who called you?”

He shrugged. “Lilliana.”

She sighed and then nodded. “Yeah, it would be her.”

“Rodney called too,” he added, with a smile. “I half expected Owen to call as well, but I guess he’s off on Christmas holidays, albeit a bit early. That really cuts down your team, what with Andy still on medical leave.” He studied her for a long moment, obviously worried.

She groaned. “I am capable of looking after myself, you know?”

“Of course you are,” he replied, as he guided her to his vehicle.

When she saw it, she said, “My car is here.”

“No, it’s not,” he countered. “I dropped you off at the dentist, waited for you, and then drove you to work this morning.”

“Oh.” Confused, she looked around and realized that’s probably why she had been standing here, staring at the parking lot in confusion, because she couldn’t locate her car. “I completely forgot that.”

“I think you had other things on your mind.” He urged her into his car and closed the passenger door for her. He got in the driver’s seat, turned to her, and asked, “Do you want to go straight home, or do you want to get food?”

“Straight home.”

“No,” he argued, “food first.”

She glared at him. “Then why did you even ask?”

He chuckled. “I wanted to see how cognizant you were of your own needs.”

“I’m fine,” she snapped.

“ Uh-huh .” He didn’t say anything else but headed for one of the places she absolutely loved.

They arrived quickly. As she stared up at the parking lot of the restaurant, she muttered, “I don’t think I can be social.”

“You don’t have to be social,” he stated. “We can pick it up and bring it home, but you will be surrounded by people who understand your need for silence today.”

“Would she allow me back though?” she asked, looking at him. “You know what she’s like. She’s a force, who races through your world, fattens you up, and then leaves again, all with a satisfied chortle.”

He burst out laughing at that description and nodded. “That’s pretty close. Yet she does it out of love.”

“Does she? I wonder sometimes,” Kate shared, as she groaned, staring up at the mom-and-pop Italian restaurant.

“You haven’t eaten, and, if I don’t force you to eat, you won’t,” he pointed out, eyeing her. “At least here, I know you’ll get a decent meal.”

“Or I’ll take it home,” she muttered.

“Either way,” he said, undoing his seat belt, “let’s go in and get a meal. Then we’ll take some home too, so we don’t have to worry about food.”

“It’s a weekend, but it’s not a weekend,” she muttered.

“I know. I’ve already put our plans on hold.”

Her shoulders sagged, as she remembered that they had planned to take the weekend to go sailing. She didn’t even know what to say. When he opened the passenger door and helped her out, she realized just how disconnected she was from the world around her.

“We’ll park sailing for the moment,” he said. “Right now we’ll go inside, we’ll eat, and then we’ll go back to my place and talk.”

“I don’t think there’s anything to talk about,” she replied, as she walked in front of him.

“Good, which would imply that you… found out who was behind this.”

“How much did Lilliana say?”

“Nothing,” he told her, facing her. “She just told me that it was rough and very personal. So, when I saw you standing there in the parking lot, looking lost, I realized that she was correct. I know you’ll get around to telling me when you feel like it.”

She groaned as he opened the double doors to the restaurant, then muttered, “You should probably find somebody who’s easier to live with.” At that, he turned her to him, and she caught the glint of anger in his expression.

“Don’t say that,” he declared in a harsh whisper. “Nobody knows the pain we have both gone through. In many ways, we are perfect for each other, because we both understand how much the other has been through.”

Mama barreled out to welcome them. She scolded Simon immediately, saying he should have called ahead.

Simon smiled and explained, “If I don’t get Kate to eat today, she won’t eat at all. So, I brought her here. Then we’ll take home some leftovers with us.”

Mama immediately nodded. “Good, good, good. It’s always best fresh, but, if you can’t always have fresh, at least you should have leftovers.”

He laughed. “Nothing quite like your leftovers, Mama.”

“No, there isn’t,” she confirmed immediately. He burst out laughing, and she grinned at him. “Come, come,” she said, as she raced him to the table farthest back, which had somehow become their table.

He seated Kate on the side where she couldn’t look out. She stared at him, and he nodded. “Maybe for just this moment, you could turn it off, or at least postpone it until we get home.”

She nodded, but, even then, her brain wasn’t fully functioning. It rolled over with all the things she had shared with her team, to all the million questions they’d asked, and to all the things she was afraid she hadn’t told them that needed to be said.

Simon immediately pulled out a small notebook and handed it to her. She looked at it, dazed. “Anything you need to write down, put it down, and try to forget it for now,” he suggested.

She stared at him. “You really do know me, don’t you?”

“Inside and out,” he stated, with the gentlest of smiles. “And that’s why I’m here right now. We can handle this. Whatever it is, we’ll get there, but we’ll talk about it when we get home. First, I want you to unwind and to get some food.”

Her lips twitched. “You and Mama Rosa.”

At that, Mama reappeared, and she had a small bottle of wine that she immediately uncorked for them.

Kate tried to say no, but even Simon pointed out, “It would help you relax.”

She sank deeper into her chair. “I’m not sure I will ever relax again.”

“You will,” he stated. “It may take a bit, but you will.”

Under his watchful gaze, she had several sips. Before she even had a chance to do much more, Mama had returned with a basket of fresh bread and a bowl of garlic butter.

Her stomach growled immediately. Simon nodded. “And that’s why we’re here.”

She didn’t say anything, just picked up some bread, dipped it in the rich garlic butter, and popped a big bite into her mouth. If nothing else, he was right about that. She needed energy. She needed fuel for what was to come, because whatever it was, it would be painful as hell. It already was. Her heart had been ripped apart by simply reading the note, and the thought that somebody was playing games over her brother was enough to torment her for a very long time.

As much as she didn’t like people as a whole, most of the time it wasn’t personal. She just thought that the world was full of assholes. Simon was helping her to rebalance some of that, but every case that got nastier and crazier only reaffirmed her belief.

When she looked up at him, she shared, “Colby wants me to see the shrink on staff.”

His eyebrows shot up. “And did you tell him where to go?”

“No,” she whispered. “In this case, I think… he might be right.” Simon sat back.

She read the surprise in his gaze and knew that he needed an explanation, but she wasn’t up for it yet.

When Mama returned a few minutes later with her little notepad, ready to take down their orders, Simon looked at Mama and smiled. “Why don’t you just give us whatever the special is?”

She beamed and nodded. “And I’ll get you something different to take home,” she offered, with a smile. Happily, she took off at the same speed she had arrived at.

She was a force to contend with when she was on the move, and, even for the size of her, she could move. She was always happy and appeared to be very healthy, regardless of the extra weight, which was not slowing her down at all. And, wherever she was in terms of fitness, her heart was the healthiest thing about her. It was always full of love, full of caring.

Ever since her husband’s nephew had drowned, they were even more interested in helping Kate out every time she showed up. Yet not a whole lot anybody could do to help her out on this one. She wasn’t even sure she had anything to offer as a break in the case of her long-lost missing brother.

She’d always known that something would pop to the surface at some point, but she hadn’t expected it right now. Yet here it was, right in her face. She munched away on bread, until a huge plate was set before her, filled with long pasta tubes stuffed with cheese and meat and all kinds of good things. It smelled like heaven itself.

She didn’t say a word, just tucked into the food. Both Simon and Mama looked on with joy. Kate stopped eating, glared at the both of them, and grumbled, “I do eat, you know?”

Mama gave a sniff, then turned and walked away, as if that revealed everything as far as she was concerned.

Kate glared at Simon, and he smiled at her. “You’re doing just fine. Keep it up.”

Because the food here was just so wonderful, she didn’t mind the order to eat. Mama’s food was just that good. As a matter of fact, it was beyond good. “It’s a great thing she opened up a restaurant. It would be a sad day for all of us if this place ever closed.”

“Right,” Simon agreed, “and thankfully they’re doing pretty well.”

“Have they ever asked you for any business advice?” He smiled over at her, and she nodded. “Of course they have. Did you bail them out?”

“Nope,” he stated cheerfully. “I showed them another way to make it all work. We had to restructure a few things, but, since then, they’re doing just fine.”

“Of course you did,” she said, with a nod. “That’s so you.” When he looked at her inquisitively, she shrugged. “Don’t mind me, Simon. I’m just in a weird mood.”

“Oh, I see it, and believe me that I can’t wait to hear what this is all about.”

At that, she winced and stared down at her plate again.

He added, “After you’ve eaten.”

Not even wanting to get into the discussion of what was to come, she immediately buried herself into eating her food, hoping that maybe it would hold off his interest for now. He was right. She did need food. She didn’t even remember if she’d eaten all day. The entire day had been a scramble the minute that puzzle box had arrived. She’d been a little late coming into work this morning, but that was nothing compared to what had happened once she’d gotten there.

When she couldn’t fit anything else into her stomach, she groaned and sat back. Looking over at him, she noted he was doing a decent job on his meal too. “I don’t know how they ever dreamed up this recipe,” she muttered, as she stared down at the huge stuffed noodles on her plate, “but they’re excellent.”

“It’s what they do,” Simon stated, “and, luckily for us, they’re very good at it.”

She couldn’t argue with that. When Mama came back again, she looked at the amount of food on her plate and frowned. Yet Kate held up a hand. “If I hadn’t eaten so much bread, I might have gotten down more pasta,” she admitted. “However, both are divine.” Instantly Mama’s face beamed, and Kate knew she’d said the right thing.

“I’ll pack this up for leftovers,” she said, and she turned and looked at Simon. “Do you still want to take more food home?”

He nodded. “Yes. If nothing else, neither one of us wants to worry about food tomorrow.”

“Or the next day,” Kate muttered.

“In that case,” Mama declared, “I’ll send you home with enough.” Then she bustled away, only to return a little later with a huge bag. “Make sure Kate eats,” was her final word, and Mama was off again.

Kate stared at the bag, then frowned at Simon. “Somehow I must not have noticed that six of us are living at your place,” she muttered. “This has got to be enough to feed my entire team.”

“And, if need be,” he suggested, “we can always bring in the team, and you can feed them too.”

“Hell no,” she argued. “That would start something that would never end. Most of them don’t eat half the time either.” Instantly Simon frowned, and she waved her hand. “It’s fine. We’re used to it.”

“Being used to it doesn’t make it right.”

She sighed. “Whatever. I’m good to go home, whenever you’re ready.”

He immediately stood up and helped her out to the vehicle. She wasn’t an invalid, yet he was treating her as if she were delicate. Not so much that she would blow up about it, not when he knew that something had hurt her so deeply that she wasn’t sure if recovery was even possible—or, if it was, how to take even the tiniest step toward it.

He drove straight home and once again helped her to the penthouse elevator, holding the big bag of leftovers and extra food in his arms. Harry saw them and raced over to help, taking the food bag.

Only then did Kate realize that Simon was half supporting her.

Simon smiled his thanks to Harry and noted, “She had a pretty rough day at work.”

Harry nodded immediately. “I can’t imagine many good days in her job,” he muttered. And, with that, he followed them up to Simon’s penthouse apartment to leave the bag and then stepped back out again.

As soon as he left, she looked over at Simon. “I don’t know why I’m so affected.”

“Yes, you do. You just expect to be stronger.”

She winced at that. “I should be stronger.”

“No,” he said, with a smile. “Being strong sometimes is normal. Being strong all the time, particularly when some personal blow is happening, is not. At times you must bend a bit to maintain resilience. Then other times you must bend before you break, and that is today.”

*

Simon settled Kate on the couch, popped open another bottle of wine, and brought her a glass. She reached for the glass and took a sip without even arguing this time, as he watched from the sidelines.

When he retrieved his glass and rejoined her, he said, “Now give me the gist of it.”

Simon sat close enough to touch but not in her space, trying to give her enough room to get out whatever it was that had gone on. He’d heard a little bit of it from Lilliana, but she had also mentioned how it was best for Kate to tell him herself. The way Lilliana had prepared Simon like that suggested that Kate needed him right now, more than ever.

And finding her standing in the parking lot—staring around, completely lost, as if whatever happened had affected her on so many levels that she was incapable of functioning—meant that it was something huge. As he looked at her right now, he realized it really was true. Whatever had hit her was personal, and that could only mean something about her brother. He reached out a hand and laced his fingers with hers. “Anytime,” he urged.

She looked at him, and then tears filled her eyes.

Good, that was one of the things she needed to do. Then he just waited and waited.

Finally she took a deep breath and rubbed her face. “A parcel was delivered to my desk this morning,” she began. “A little wooden puzzle box was inside. And honestly, I hate puzzles because…”

“Because if you don’t solve it, you feel stupid,” he added.

Her gaze flashed up to his. Then she slowly nodded. “Exactly. I rarely, if ever, solve them. They’re just not my thing, and I feel completely intimidated by them.”

“Okay, so somebody delivered you a puzzle.”

“Yes, but it wasn’t hard to open. At my first try, it just fell apart in my hands. Maybe it was supposed to.… I don’t know. Forensics has it right now. A note was in it.” She repeated the message in the note, her tone almost devoid of emotion, so cold, so empty, as if to feel anything would be so heartbreakingly painful that it would cause her to shatter.

When he heard the words in the note and understood the meaning behind it, his own heart squeezed hard, and he realized what a shock this had been for her.

She took a deep breath and continued. “Then, after that, came a million questions from my team. They had to interview me for absolutely everything they possibly could think of. Questions I didn’t want to answer, questions that I’m not sure I answered correctly,” she admitted, with a wave of her hand. “How does one answer correctly after so many years? It’s been so long, yet not long at all. I keep that file on my desk as a daily reminder.”

“And do you have it at home?”

She blinked several times at him. “I have a digital copy, so I can access it anytime.”

“Good,” he replied. “You mentioned sending it to me at one point in time, but I don’t think you ever did.”

“I will now.” She scrubbed her face again. “I just hurt on levels I didn’t even know I could hurt from.”

“Tell me why you hurt,” he prompted her, eyeing her curiously. “That would help me understand just what’s going on.”

Surprised, she shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

“Are you hurt that somebody is playing games with news of your brother? Are you hurt that potentially you’ve missed something on your brother’s case? Or is it just the fact that this has brought it all back up again?”

“Any and all of the above,” she declared. “Nothing is easy about this, and I could do nothing to even prepare myself for it. What if somebody is using my brother as a game? I don’t know if that’s the biggest thing for me. I can’t help but wonder whether he really does know something, or there’s something else involved here.”

She took a moment and then sighed. “And, if he knows something, damn it all,… I want him in my interrogation room, and I want him in there now. If he doesn’t have information, what’s his purpose for doing this?”

“To hurt you,” Simon stated, “to send you off balance, to take you off your game, to stop you from looking into something else.”

That set her back in shock.

Simon nodded. “At the moment you’re still caught up in whatever this asshole wants you caught up in mentally. That is the one thing you must consider, at least in the sender’s mind. Maybe he knows nothing, and, by keeping you fully occupied on this, he’s doing something else and trying to get away with it.”

Her breath let out with a hard whoosh . “Good God.” She stared at him in shock. “I was so hung up on it being about my brother and somebody knowing something that it never even occurred to me that it could be just a diversion, a distraction.”

“So then, a distraction from what? And what kind of a diversion would be a good strategy to get you off your game? So who would know enough about what’s going on in your world, or the work that you do, to realize that this would be a good strategy?”

“Those are the questions I need answered,” she replied immediately. “Other things too, such as, does he know about Timmy being missing, and how would he have gotten that information?”

Simon shook his head. “So much is available on public files, newspapers, and missing person’s databases, it probably wouldn’t have taken very long to get it. Honestly, if they were looking for something to pin you with or to put you off balance, they found it. Whether he realizes it or not, it was the absolutely perfect thing to do to you. On the other hand, you aren’t alone, and you have people around to help you get through it.”

Her breath let out once again in a hard whoosh as she stared at him. “But what’s wrong with me that I never even considered that?” she cried out.

“Nothing is wrong with you,” he snapped, his tone hardening. “Don’t even go down that pathway. You would have thought of it eventually. I just brought it up sooner. You needed time to absorb everything. Then bringing back all the heartbreaking memories with your team asking you a million questions, of course that set you off further, sending you down the pathway that would have terrorized you. It would have terrorized anybody.”

He patted her hand, and she looked at him, misery in her expression. He asked her, “The thing is,… why he did it is part of it, but does he know anything about Timmy? Or is it literally somebody just playing games?”

“I don’t know,” she muttered, freeing her hands to rub her temples.

He could see that she was starting to get angry, but Kate being Kate, it wouldn’t be at anyone except herself. “You don’t get to trash yourself over this.” Her hands dropped, and she glared at him. “That’s bound to be your immediate response.”

“Of course it is,” she muttered. “I mean, if it’s something major going on that they want to hide, then they’re using me as a decoy.… Now that we have so much of the team’s attention on this, it makes sense in a really sad way.”

“And everybody jumped in to help you,” he noted, “so that should make you feel better.”

“Feel better?” she muttered. “I don’t know if that’s quite the right wording.”

“Another thing you also need to remember is that you’re not alone this time, and that you’re not a child anymore. You are not responsible for what happened, and you now have skills and resources behind you.”

She took a deep breath, giving him half a smile. “That is exactly what I needed to be reminded of.”

“Park that child from the past,” he suggested. “She can come out and cry whenever she needs to, but she also needs to know that she isn’t alone and that people are there for her now.”

“It also means,” she added, “that I’ll have to speak to my mother.”

He felt his own insides twisting at that one. “Or,” he offered with a smile, “you send Rodney to do that job.”

“My mother’s always been kind of a charmer with men,” Kate pointed out, “so I’m thinking that would be a bad idea.”

“Then send Lilliana,” he suggested. “She doesn’t take shit from anybody, and, if truth be told, she would see through your mother very quickly.”

“Honestly… maybe I’m doing Rodney a disservice by thinking he wouldn’t.… I’m just—”

“You’re afraid,” he said immediately. “You’re afraid of what your mother would say and how they would view you, after spouting off all her poison.”

Kate shuddered, closed her eyes, and then nodded. “God, we’re so…” But she couldn’t come up with the word, so he supplied it for her.

“We’re vulnerable,” he muttered. “That’s all. We’re vulnerable, and the people who want to hurt us will strike out to catch us at the very lowest times in our lives.” He hesitated, then added, “Like now.”