Page 29 of Silver Sanctuary (The Silver Springs #3)

Eighteen

E mbrie was her sister.

Not her daughter. The whole time, Lacy had been killing herself to make sure her sister was safe. Protected. Loved. Cared for.

Christ.

Nash kept his hand on Lacy’s back as he watched her mother walk out of the alley, head held high like she hadn’t just been trying to extort her daughter. Lacy’s hand grabbed at his shirt, her nails scratching his back as her breathing turned panicked.

“Baby, you need to breathe.”

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Nash.”

“We’re going to talk., but first, you need to take a deep breath. We’re not going anywhere until I know you’re not going to pass out on me.”

He could feel the fear radiating off of her with the way her body shook in his arms, but she still leaned into him, seeking safety from the storm that rolled into her life.

He didn’t take that lightly. Nash pulled his cell out of his pocket and typed out a message with one hand as the other continued to run up and down Lacy’s back.

“I need to go check on Embrie. I need to make sure she’s okay.”

“Wait.” His hand held her in place while the other unlocked his phone’s screen. “Look, I sent a message to Gunner. He’s with Lily and Embrie. Mae and Hawk went to get lunch for everyone. We’ve got some time. Let’s go and figure out our next steps.”

“My flowers…”

“I handed your cash box to Stone before I came over here, and he’ll get the flowers inside. I’ve got it all covered.”

His hand slid over hers as they walked to the parking lot. Nash led her to his truck, opening the passenger side door and pausing, clearly waiting for her to get inside.

“Lace, breathe.” His hand rested on her cheeks as his thumb brushed away a tear.

“I don’t want to get in the truck. I’m sorry. I’m being selfish. I know I should just get in so you can tell me that everything is over between us, but I don’t want us to end.”

Christ. His heart cracked wide open. He should have fucking guessed this would be the moment she’d expect him to bail—to leave her with no support.

No safety net. But it wasn’t happening. “Nothing is ending, baby. I just want to drive somewhere so we can talk and not be overheard. Someplace where I can hold you while you explain what just happened. Where we can decide the next steps together. But we can’t do that until you get in the truck. ”

Lacy nodded, taking his hand as she slid into the cab.

He grabbed the seatbelt, draping it carefully across her shoulder and lap before clicking the buckle into place.

And once he was situated in the driver’s seat, his hand found its way over to her lap, where he rested his palm on her thigh.

He might not be able to get the words out right then and there about just how much he’d fallen in love with her and Embrie, but he prayed his touch would be enough to give her peace in that moment.

She was silent on the ride out to the hidden fishing spot he’d found with Hawk last year. The two of them would drive out on Sunday mornings sometimes and just shoot the shit for a few hours, waiting for a fish or two to bite. It was beautiful, calm, and most importantly, secluded.

Once he parked, they walked a little ways around the lake, until he saw the familiar spot surrounded by trees. Lacy stood with her arms wrapped around herself, but her head was held high, even if she was shaking like a leaf.

“I don’t know where to start,” she confessed. He hated how worried she looked. He hated even more that he’d had to hear the truth of what she’d been hiding from a woman who was trying to take advantage of her. A woman who was supposed to love her. No wonder Lacy stepped up for Brie.

“Does Embrie know she’s not your daughter?” Fuck. His mind was still whirling around that revelation, but there was one clear thought in his head: Lacy had walked through hell for that little girl, and it didn’t change a single thing how he felt about them, or how badly he wanted to keep them safe.

“Yes, she knows. I’ve never lied to her. But she calls me ‘mom’ on her own. I’ve been the only parent she’s known her whole life.”

“That’s why you didn’t have pictures of being pregnant when I asked,” Nash whispered. The revelation seemed so obvious now.

She nodded. “I wouldn’t have had them anyway, I was too poor to own a phone with a decent camera, but yes. I’ve never been pregnant.”

“I guess that means she isn’t really named after your love of cheese?” The question was meant to lighten the mood, but Lacy’s face filled with more despair.

“I wish I had named her—wish I would have thought to change it when it was clear my mom wasn’t coming back.

I would have given her a name we could find on personalized things.

Keychains, mugs, backpacks… She’s always trying to find her name any time we come across those things.

There was one day when I picked her up from her sitter, and she was just inconsolable, tears streaming down her beautiful little face as she gulped down air.

It took forever to get her to open up. But when she did, my heart broke, Nash.

A couple of the other kids spent hours that day teasing her about her name.

I have no idea what the hell my mother was thinking when she named her, but I had to come up with something fast. My favorite cheese being the inspiration for her name was the only thing that popped into my mind—something silly to make her laugh. ”

“You’re incredible. You know that, right?”

Lacy didn’t respond, and his hand tightened on her thigh, hoping she could feel the truth in his statement through that physical connection.

“How… I mean, how did you end up taking care of Embrie?”

Lacy sighed, rubbing at her temples. “I was fourteen when our mom went to prison for the accident she caused here. That’s why I had to move to West Virginia.

My uncle was the only relative around to take me in, but that didn’t mean it was a good situation.

He knew I’d worked for Rudy under the table, so he forced me to do the same at a diner after school and on the weekends.

He’d take all the money I made for the rent and groceries I ‘owed him.’”

Her eyes went wide, as if she was in awe of the view in front of her. But Nash knew that wasn’t the case. She was lost in the memories.

“The fridge had a lock on it,” Lacy said.

“I slept on the floor with one pillow and a sheet to cover myself. There were times when there wasn’t any heat, or running water because he didn’t pay his bills.

I had to steal soap from work, sanitary products from the school nurse.

I was used to most of that because my mother was neglectful, but my uncle made her look like a saint. ”

“I’ll kill him,” Nash growled as a thousand horrific situations flashed through his mind.

“You won’t be able to. He died when I was sixteen.

My history teacher helped me where she could—she was the only person that really saw what I was going through.

She brought me snacks, let me sleep in her class.

Then I moved into a group home, and stayed there until I aged out at eighteen.

I was lucky to have a decent job as a server at this upscale restaurant two towns over by then.

It took four separate buses to get to, and thirty minutes of walking back to my little apartment every night, but I made sure I still went to school and graduated.

A year later, I had saved up enough money to start classes at the community college.

I was going to get my degree and get the hell out of there. ”

“What happened?” Nash’s thumb continued to circle the pulse point on her wrist.

“Mom got out of prison. It was an early release for good behavior and completing some sort of sobriety rehab program. She’d already had a lenient sentence, which everyone in Silver Springs reminded me of before I moved away.

I should have left West Virginia, but all that time I just stayed, trying to save my money.

Trying to make something of myself because I was so afraid to fail.

Once she showed up on my doorstep, I fell for her lies, how she said she’d changed.

How she wanted better for me. I let her stay with me, and she was clean for a little while—that’s when she got pregnant with Embrie.

I was only twenty-one when she was born.

I barely had a year of college under my belt, and a week after she arrived, my mom disappeared. ”

“Christ. ”

“She relapsed, then showed up a month later, begging for money to get clean. Oh yeah.” She scoffed.

“She thanked me for babysitting Embrie. I spent every last dollar I had saved for the next semester to find someone safe to leave Embrie with while I went to work. We were barely paying our bills, barely had enough for formula, and diapers, and clothes for her. But my mom thanked me , like I had volunteered, or had a choice. She was so tiny, Nash. Every time I held her, I wished she was my baby. Even as my sister, I knew I would never let her have a life like I’d had.

Never. I’d always be there to protect her.

Even if we never had much, we’d have each other. ”

“You are so incredible, Lacy.”

Her breath hitched at his words. “I’m not. The things Embrie has seen… the things she’s heard. I wasn’t protecting her like I should have.”

“All I’ve seen is the incredible way you provide for her. What happened to make you think that?”

A shudder rolled through her body, and he desperately wanted to wrap her up in his arms. But she clearly wanted space. Everything in her body language was screaming at him to not overwhelm her.

“It doesn’t matter, because the thing I’ve been afraid of since the first time my mom put Embrie in my arms and took off is about to happen.”

“I don’t understand. How can she do anything? You’ve had Embrie all this time.”

Tears poured over Lacy’s lashes.

“Lace, what am I not understanding?”

“I don’t have legal custody of her. I never had the m-money to pursue it.

And I… I took her, without anything other than v-verbal consent from her biological mother, across state lines to get here.

I provided a counterfeit birth certificate to get her enrolled in school in West Vi rginia, and here.

If I ever try to terminate my mom’s rights to her… I think I’ll be arrested.”

His hand squeezed her thigh reassuringly. She’d been carrying around all of that worry for so long, he just wanted to take her home to Brie and wrap both of them up in his arms.

“Who was your mom talking about when she said they’d go to the police?”

“No,” she groaned. “You heard all of that?”

“You may think I was okay with you walking away, but it almost killed me. You bet your beautiful, heart-shaped ass I was as close as I could possibly be. No way I wasn’t going to be right there if you needed me.”

She shook her head. “You’re too good to me.”

“Clearly not if you’re still doubting whether I’d stick around to walk through this with you or not.” Nash sighed. “Tell me who she was talking about.”

“Her latest boyfriend—my former landlord. Nash…” She shook her hand free of his and wrapped her arms around her waist. “There’s a reason why I didn’t worry too much about my landlord here and his lack of attention. I’ve had rougher landlords than him.”

The shudder that rolled through her body put him on high alert. “Did he hurt you?”

She nodded. “Things were really bad before I took Embrie and ran. Really bad. I’m not proud of what I had to do to keep a roof over our heads. It makes me sick when I think about what I did.”

“We don’t have to talk about it, but I will never look at you differently.” Nash swallowed, the war raging inside him making his insides feel like they were boiling. “Someone taking advantage of you is not your fault.”

“I want you to know. I should have told you before, so you could know what you were really getting into. But it was just so nice to have someone see me for me. Not to use me. ”

“Never, baby. I would never do that to you.”

“I know.” She nodded slowly, her eyes drifting down to her hands where she picked at her nails.

“H-he would say I was short on rent. Adam only ever accepted cash, and even when I’d make him write me a receipt, he’d always come banging on my door, saying I messed up and the payment wasn’t all there. ”

Adam. The name seared into his memory. Gage would be able to do something with that and Lacy’s last address. They could find him. They’d make him pay. “He wanted more money?”

“No, that’s not what he wanted. I wouldn’t have been able to give him any if he had. He knew that—knew how hard it was for me to keep a roof over our heads. Embrie was still so little… but not little enough that a man won’t try to take her innocence from her. I was so scared…”

“What did he do?” The question squeezed out from his grinding molars.

“He made me pay him in other ways.”

Nash closed his eyes, breathing in sharply through his nose.

“I hated it, hated myself each time it happened. But I didn’t have a choice.

We couldn’t live on the streets. Couldn’t take our chances at a homeless shelter.

I knew he’d throw us out in an instant if I didn’t go along with it.

And I was so close to being able to start over.

I had the application in for Sebastian’s grant.

I knew things were almost in place. And I let him…

I let him use my body so I could get Embrie away. ”

Nash’s jaw clenched down so tightly he thought he might shatter some of his teeth. “You said he was your mom’s boyfriend? Did she know?”

Lacy’s laugh was filled with so much pain, Nash felt like he was going to come out of his skin. “Of course she did. Who do you think the rent money was going to? She got her payment, and so did he.”

“Christ.”

“That’s what I don’t understand. That woman you saw today… the one with the clean clothes and the healthy glow to her skin? That was not the woman I grew up with—not the one I protected Embrie from. The last time I saw her… the last time I protected Embrie from him…”

“What happened?”

“He came into the apartment one night, and I… I stabbed him.”