Page 29

H is mouth was a menace, but then he was also giddy. Happy. Lying on his back on the bed, letting me maul his neck, his boxers tenting at the front as my hand stroked down his chest.

Warmth. Beauty. So much beauty.

“What would you like me to do to you?” I asked. An approach that seemed to work, as his hand fisted my hair and his mouth was back on mine.

“Anything,” he said, grinning wildly. “I’m so happy. I’m so happy and so scared, and it’s all such a…”

“It’s wonderful. And I think we’re both going to be busy for the coming weeks, getting all these kids into routines. Maybe we won’t actually have much time for each other.”

“We’ll make time,” he said with conviction. “Because I will need this too. Some care and attention and…oh!”

He liked that, then, me kissing his skin just there, behind his ear.

“Dyl, I’ll drive you to pick up the kids. I’ll take care of all of that. You just concentrate on making this work. It won’t be easy, but you’ll do it. Also, you have needs. Let me sort those.”

“Needs?” he panted out as I released his dick from his boxers. I liked him naked. So, so much.

“Needs. I was thinking…”

“Yes?”

“Do you…ever…”

“Stewart. Say the words.”

My hand cupped his balls. Warmth. A little dampness. I wondered what it would feel like, my fingers between his cheeks. That warm hole.

“Entertain the idea?” I knew what I meant. I hoped he did too.

“Would you like to have penetrative sex?” He was smiling, like he was enjoying my awkward attempts at seduction.

“Do you understand where I’m coming from? I can’t flirt to save my life,” I whined in desperation. “Just listen to me, the absolute rubbish coming out of my mouth.”

“I agree.” He smiled. “But it’s you, and I know what you mean. You want to have sex. And I think you fancy sticking your very large and lovely penis inside of me.”

Yes. My blushing was legendary and back with a vengeance.

“And you would…”

“Let you?” He grinned. “Yes, I would. I’ve never done it, but I did read up on it. It’s something I can do. Does it frighten you?”

All these questions that I didn’t know the answers to. The amount of thinking I’d had to do over the past months, I felt like I’d put my head through that psychological assessment myself. Perhaps I needed to sit down with The Devil, or whatever he was called, and have my head examined.

“Do you know what frightens me?” I said, shaking my head, then planting a soft kiss on his forehead, still stroking his balls.

Multitasking like a pro.

“I am terrified of flying. Never done it, but even the thought of it gives me heart palpitations. I have never been abroad. Never left the country. Never had a foreign holiday or been past the pick-up lane at any airport. Even seeing an aircraft in the sky makes me nervous.”

“Seriously?” He sat up. It made me sit up too.

“That’s ridiculous.”

“I know. But it’s so ingrained in me that I can’t even start to figure out how to solve it.”

“Sorry. That was rude of me, calling it ridiculous, but darling…”

Darling. He’d called me that. Me. I smiled. Like a loon.

“You’re kidding?” One eyebrow raised .

“No. Nononooo… I am terrified of flying. I just—you called me darling.”

“You are. Darling. It’s just a term of endearment.”

“I know. But it was…nice. I like it.”

“Do you prefer anything else? Baby? Sweetheart?”

Laughter. How I loved it. His and mine.

“Darling. I like it.”

I wasn’t even blushing. How things were changing.

“I love flying,” he said. “I always have. The roars of the engine, the absolute power as you take off, how your body is pressed back into the seat.”

“Stop,” I begged. “You’re making me feel sick just talking about it.”

He held me. Wrapped me up.

“And now you want to fuck me.”

Crude. How did we flip-flop back and forth like this? My heart was beating too fast.

“It’s fine,” he whispered. “You’re allowed to be scared. But one day, I want to take the kids somewhere nice. Just a quiet house on the beach. ”

“We have those in Devon. I used to go with Reuben all the time. A caravan.”

“A caravan.”

“Not posh enough for you?”

“No.” He laughed. “Actually, that would be nice. Would we all fit in a caravan?”

“We might have to have a couple. I bring my kids. You bring yours.”

“Can you imagine? My Constance holidaying with the… What’s he called? Your Gray?”

He knew. He was just teasing.

“Instagram would implode.”

“Most probably.”

“So. What do you know about lube?”

That was me, changing the subject. And then I promptly swallowed my tongue as my dick jumped.

My dick. Funny how I was reacquainting myself with it, learning those ropes, figuring out that Dylan just needed to look at me and suddenly I was working just fine. No worries at all. Strange.

Awfully nice, too.

“Lube,” he said, a smile growing on his face. “What are we like? Okay. We’re back to sex.”

“Yes,” I huffed, adjusting myself. “I have condoms.”

“And lube.”

“Yes,” I admitted. Not proud. Rather…presumptuous.

“And where have you stashed this little haul of items?”

Dylan. He made me laugh.

“It might be next to the bed.”

“And from holidays to fear of flying, we’re now back to penetrative sex.”

“It sounds weird, calling it that.”

“Perhaps. Would you prefer saying anal?”

I’d lied about overcoming the embarrassment. It was alive and well. Right here.

“So,” he said, kicking off the duvet, leaving the two of us stark naked. “You take lube, smear it all over us, pray we don’t slide off the bed and go for it?”

“Might be a little simplified,” I suggested. “We need to…loosen you up. ”

“So we’re doing this?”

“Do you want to?”

Romance was dead. Totally.

“I think you should kiss me. Maybe use that mouth of yours, see how I feel about it.”

Tease.

I liked it. My dick was in the game. I scrambled around the floor, searching with my fingertips, and produced a pharmacy bag.

“Romantic. I was hoping for roses and chocolates.”

“No. Just bog-standard lubricant and branded condoms. The expensive kind.”

“You big spender, you.”

“Nothing but the best for my…darling.”

I kissed that laughter right off his face and took his dick in hand, mine finding friction against his thigh.

Probably not textbook. Nothing like the photographs I had researched online, too frightened to click on the links to video.

Perhaps I should have. Watched. Learnt how to do this.

But his leg was bent up, giving me a full view of his body, and he smeared lube onto his hand, watched me as it travelled down his length, bit his bottom lip as he reached back, glistening liquidly stuff being smeared between those perky cheeks.

I had to swallow. Take a deep breath. Fist my cock to give myself what I craved.

“Roll the condom on,” he said.

“Okay.”

I had practised. My inexperience was blatant, but the smile on my face was genuine as I managed to get the latex rolled on in one go.

Wow. Go me.

“It’s easier with the condom,” he said, a gorgeous blush on his cheeks. I hadn’t seen it until now, but he had a finger inside himself, folded over with his leg up, making gentle movements into that hole.

Inviting.

Did I want this? Apparently so. My nether regions flagged up, dick on alert. Hell, yes. All of this .

“Is this okay?” I asked, probably ahead of myself, as I got into position above him.

“You want to do it like this?”

“Does that work?”

“I haven’t done this before, but…” He swallowed. Looked at me. “Do it…slowly.”

“Of course,” I whispered.

Big. Huge. This was massive, and I wasn’t talking about his member. Nor mine. Both of them well in the game.

“It’s okay to tell me to stop,” I offered as he grabbed my neck with his free hand, pulled me down to kiss me in between the impossible gymnastics he had going on, one leg over my shoulder, his finger still inside of him.

The tube of lube spilled liquid onto the bed as I repositioned myself. Legs. Arms. His mouth against mine.

Sex. I remembered it, but nothing like this.

None of the nerves and shaking and awful realisation that I was really not prepared.

This time, I wasn’t prepared either, but I didn’t think it mattered.

It was him, me, a bottle of lube and a condom, as I tried to figure out how to position myself, find a way.

His hips rose up, my hands tugging him into place, my cock against his opening, glistening with wetness as I gently pushed .

He closed his eyes.

Slow. I knew that. Go slow. Let him adjust.

“Yes,” he whispered.

“Absolutely.” I had no idea what I was saying, bent over him with my cock against his opening, a slow push going nowhere.

“Is this okay?”

“Yes.”

Whispers. Another small push.

“Do it again.”

I did. And…

Fuck.

I pushed—just gently—but there was release, an impossibly tight warmth. My mouth released air and sounds, and he was all tense, his face scrunched up in a grimace that was impossible not to understand.

“I’ll stop,” I said, trying to move.

He held me in place.

“It’s supposed to be like this. Takes a little time to adjust. ”

“Have you…”

What was it with me and my inability to ask questions?

“No. Not what…my ex-wife was into. I haven’t. But I would be lying if I said I hadn’t…researched. I have.”

“Me too.”

Honesty. It was what made us tick. Made this work.

“Just go slow. Really slow.”

I pulled out and reached for the lube, then pulled back and re-slathered myself, but I didn’t try again. Not yet. I took a minute to explore that sweet, beautiful hole with my fingers.

A bit of hair. I didn’t mind. His cock was gorgeous. I wanted to take it into my mouth, but I was human, and my gymnastics didn’t stretch that far.

Instead, I circled his hole with my lube-covered finger, then slowly slipped it inside, coating whatever I could reach. More lube. Two fingers as his neck stretched back.

Good.

We could do this .

“You ready?” It sounded…like something a man like me wouldn’t say. But then I pushed, and he let me in, a little further than last time.