Page 12 of Silent Truths (Razor Monkees #1)

Tor

T he sun was warm on my skin, the pleasant smell of weed swirling around me. My pen moved over the notebook balanced on my thigh, words flowing seamlessly onto the page.

I hadn’t felt this free in over a year. Writing songs hadn’t come this fucking easily in just as long. Something that had once meant so much to me, had once been one of my favorite pass-times, had lost all its beauty.

But now, that beauty was finally coming back. Finally shining through again. All because Salem had finally taken his head out of his ass and started fixing things between us.

We still had a long way to go—I knew that—but I had faith he was done shoving me aside and pretending I didn’t exist. And even if that hope fucking killed me one day, I’d hold on to it all the same.

Pain left me hollow

Sorrow tore me to pieces

The mere sight of you threatened

to tear me to my knees

Agony fucked me up

Your words slaughtered my soul

But even though pain is all you left me

“You left me in bed,” Salem complained, his voice a low rumble as he settled onto the concrete beside me, his thighs on either side of me. His arms wrapped around my chest, tugging me back against him.

I couldn’t stop the small smile from tilting my lips even if I tried.

Leaning my head back on his left shoulder, I turned my head to look up at him, my pen resting between my fingers. “You were sleeping like the dead,” I told him honestly. “You didn’t even feel me crawl out of your monkey hold.”

Salem arched a brow at me, amusement shining in his eyes even though his lips didn’t twitch in the slightest. He’d always been like that—so serious.

So unmovable. But I’d always been able to read him like a book…

so long as he wasn’t shutting me out, that was.

And right now, he was letting me read every single one of his emotions.

My heart clenched in my chest. God , I’d missed this so much. Missed him so much, even while he was ripping my heart to shreds and gouging out my soul. I craved Salem any way I could have him… even if it was toxic.

“You should’ve continued laying with me,” he grunted.

I shook my head and glanced down at the notebook still balanced on my thigh, tapping my pen against it.

Salem glanced down at it before picking it up, running his eyes over the words.

My cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but I didn’t try to stop him.

The entire world would hear the lyrics soon enough.

“You’re writing again,” he murmured as he read the words I’d bled onto the paper. “You haven’t been inspired in months.”

My throat clicked as I swallowed. He’d noticed?

Salem glanced at me. “This is how I made you feel?” he asked, setting the notebook back on my thigh.

I couldn’t read him again, and it made my stomach clench.

Was he about to get up and walk away because I was being too real?

What move should I make? I couldn’t lose him again. I wouldn’t survive it.

I didn’t know what to say, so I just remained silent.

Avoiding his gaze—which was easy since I was technically facing away from him—I grabbed my blunt from the ashtray on the concrete beside me and relit it, inhaling the smoke into my lungs, letting it settle there for a few moments before I slowly blew it out.

I wished the hammering of my fucking heart would stop, too. It was goddamn painful.

“You’re avoiding my question,” Salem bluntly stated.

I just shrugged. He knew it; I knew it. No point in denying it.

Salem sighed, his breath fanning over my neck.

Goosebumps erupted over my flesh, and a shiver wracked down my spine.

Memories of the way his hot breath felt against my skin as he fisted my cock assaulted me, and I had to swallow down a moan.

I just hoped he couldn’t tell that my cock was hardening in my sweats.

“I know I hurt you. I just didn’t realize it was so…” His voice trailed off.

“Raw? Painful? Cutting? Agonizing?” I asked, coldness seeping into my tone before I could stop it. It had been the worst months of my life.

Salem pressed a kiss to my throat. “Don’t give me the cold shoulder, baby, or I’ll fuck you right here for our friends to find, you hear me?”

I deflated, sagging back against him, even as my cock went so hard, it made me a little dizzy. “You drive me fucking crazy.”

Salem hummed low in his throat but didn’t say anything in response.

Wasn’t like he could if he wanted anyway since Jesse chose that moment to step outside, nodding once at us in greeting, only a hint of surprise in his voice as he said, “Delia’s on the phone.

She wants everyone present in the living room. ”

Salem grabbed my blunt from me and pinched the red tip between his thumb and forefinger, putting it out for me before reaching into the pockets of my sweats and pulling out my slim, clear container, slipping the blunt into it before shoving it back in.

I arched a brow at him as he stood to his feet.

“Just go digging in my pockets whenever you want now?”

He only arched a brow at me as he grabbed my hands and pulled me to my feet, eyeing my cock before laying his gaze back on mine. “I’ll do whatever the fuck I want when it comes to you.”

Fuck , why was that so goddamn hot? It shouldn’t have been. It should have been fucking alarming. But not when it came to Salem. When it came to Salem, I wanted it all—the possessiveness, the ownership, the jealousy, the fights, the sex, the love.

I just wanted him . All of him. In any way that I could have him.

“We’re all here,” Kalin told Delia as me, Salem, and Jesse walked into the living room. Dalton’s phone was on the center of the coffee table, the speaker-phone icon lit on the call screen. When I moved to sit next to Salem, he grunted in disapproval and grasped my hips, yanking me onto his lap.

I sank into his embrace as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me back into his chest.

Dalton simply arched a brow at us but didn’t say a word.

A smirk tilted Spike’s lips. Kalin just looked bored and slightly annoyed, but not with us.

Probably more with Delia. If there was one thing I loved about our friends, it was that I knew they wouldn’t make this weird.

They wouldn’t make a big deal out of me and Salem sorting our shit out.

I was extremely grateful for it.

“Richard wants me to go over this with you all, even though I went through the trouble of making a packet to make all of our lives easier. As I mentioned a few days ago, Nightwork Records is sponsoring an event in Spring Harbor,” Delia said, diving right in.

“And Richard wants you all to be the face of the company. You’ll perform at the festival—it’s a three-day event.

And the day before and the day after the event, you’ll do community work. Clear?”

“We’re supposed to be off and taking a break so we can focus on our next album,” Jesse griped, slumping back against the couch cushions, annoyance clear in his voice.

She sighed as if we were pestering bugs she wanted to squash with her shoe. Salem squeezed his arms around me, no doubt using me to keep from snapping at her. I was perfectly okay with being his grounding force.

It made me feel all warm inside to know I had that power.

“This is out of my hands. You got a problem with it? You take it up with Richard,” she snapped. “Which brings me to a real fucking problem. Salem, Tor, what the absolute fuck ?!” she exploded.

I frowned. “Huh?” I questioned.

“Don’t huh me,” she snarled. “You?—”

“Watch your fucking tone with him,” Salem warned her.

The silence that rang throughout the room was deafening. Delia cleared her throat. “Excuse me?” she finally asked.

“You fucking heard me,” Salem told her, his voice eerily calm. “Watch how the fuck you talk to Tor. There are plenty of other record labels who would be more than happy to snatch us from Nightwork Records. Don’t ever think we’re stuck with only one option.”

Spike coughed to cover his laugh, but his grin was unmistakable. I grabbed Salem’s hands and squeezed them gently all while my insides turned to puddles of goo at his overprotectiveness of me.

I couldn’t get enough of it.

She chose to ignore him. Everyone knew fighting with Salem was a task. He didn’t back down, and he didn’t stop until he got the last word… and usually not until he got his way. So far, I believed I was the only exception to that.

As fucked up as it was, it made me a little giddy inside.

“You two were photographed at the hospital with bruises all over your faces. Tor was unconscious in your arms, Salem,” she announced, her tone snippy.

“It’s all over social media, and people are speculating about you two—how you’re not a real couple, how you’re both abusive and toxic, that maybe your lyrics are too real and close to home for both of you. ”

I flinched because her words honestly weren’t that far off the mark. A low growl sounded from Salem’s throat. He and I both knew those lyrics were very close to home. Hell, the entire band did, and their expressions quickly grew solemn at her words.

“I’ll fix it,” I rasped. “I’ll release a statement on social media with a new picture of me and Salem, and I’ll make up some story about a mugging, I guess. It should die down fast enough.”

Delia sniffed. “Make sure you send it over to Giselle to approve before you do it,” she told me, her voice cool. “Don’t let something like this happen again.”

I roughly cleared my throat to answer, but Salem beat me to it.

“It won’t,” he assured her.

“Good. Make sure you’re all well-rested and ready to go two weeks from today,” she ordered. Then, the phone call ended. Salem suddenly gripped my chin and turned my head, his lips meeting mine. I moaned softly in the back of my throat, everything about him seeping into my pores and making me drunk.

“There,” Salem breathed, pulling back from me. His pupils had expanded, letting me know he was just as affected by that kiss as I was… not to mention, his thick cock was hard beneath my ass. He showed me his phone, and my cheeks colored.

There was no mistaking how much we both needed each other. We had always looked like that, even when we’d hated each other and had been faking our relationship for the cameras.

But there was no mistaking the lightness to me, even with the bruises discoloring my jaw and cheeks.

“Glad you two finally pulled your heads out of your asses,” Spike spoke up as Salem sent the picture to me.

I pulled out my phone, avoiding everyone’s gazes, instead focusing on writing the post so I could send it to Giselle for approval.

“Bit longer, and I was going to shove you both into a tiny closet and barricade you in until you either talked or fucked the problems out of your system.”

I snorted. Salem flipped him the bird.

Spike just barked out a laugh and headed into the kitchen. “Anyone want pizza? My treat.”

Salem pulled me back to lean against him once again as the other four of our bandmates tried to figure out what pizzas to order.

He brushed a kiss to my forehead. “By the way,” he rasped against my skin as my fingers worked over the screen of my phone, trying to figure out the best way to word this post, “you look hella fucking good with my bruises all over your skin.”

My cock perked up, and my heart slammed against my chest.

Christ .