Page 78 of Show Me
“Apologize to each other,” Coach demanded.
We did so in a begrudging mumble that wasn’t convincing to anyone. I imagined we were in for the extended uncut version when we got to the locker room.
I grimaced, rubbing my shoulder, and glanced out over the field at Jesse moving away. Every shrinking inch of him twisted the knife in my heart harder.
He hated feeling like a fool, hated looking like one even worse. Just like I’d fumbled on the field earlier when he’d smiled at me, I’d fumbled as I’d walked toward him and Reid. I’d made a scene and put Jesse in the middle of it, and then I’d verbally flailed when Reid asked us if we were together because I wasn’t sure if Jesse wanted me to say anything. The look in his eyes had answered the question well enough, though.
The team headed toward the locker room, but another look at Jesse’s clipped movements had me peeling off in his direction. It couldn’t wait until later.
Jesse cast a glance over his shoulder at me, nostrils flaring, and then he sped up, too. “Go away, Sam. I have terrible resolve, and I’m bad at articulating properly when I’m upset.”
“Okay, all of that last part makes it sound like a pretty good time to approach you, honestly.”
“God, I’m so embarrassed right now.”
“You shouldn’t be. Reid’s the one who looks like a dumbass. You were just setting the record straight.”
Jesse huffed out a sigh. “I just can’t believe he blindsided me once again. Ihatebeing caught off guard. Ihatelooking like a dumbass. Especially on a repeat basis. Andespeciallyin front of your parents. And then there was that whole awkward moment where you didn’t know what to say about us and…” He shook his head.
“I know,” I said breathlessly. “Could you slow down a little?”
“No. Use your big-ass redwood quads to keep up.”
“I likeGBBO. I was kind of skeptical at first, but I’m a fan now. And I like watching it with you. I don’t want to watch it by myself.”
“Okay, well, you didn’t have to do any of that shit back there for that to continue.”
“I checked outThrice Bound by Oathfrom the library, too.” I grimaced. “I actually didn’t like those, but I can see why you did. All the characters have their own code of ethics, even when they’re shitty ones and you love them even when they make mistakes and do questionable shit constantly.”
“Okay, again not seeing the point.”
I sped around Jesse and dropped to one knee in front of him.
He pulled up short, eyes flaring wide. “What on earth are you doing?”
“I don’t know.” I threw up my hands in desperation. “It’s an oath of fealty or something. I’m trying to get you to stop and actually listen to me.”
The corners of Jesse’s mouth twitched briefly. “An oath of fealty? Holy shit, youdidread the books.”
“Yeah, and Damian was a total horse’s ass in all of book eight, and it really fucking pissed me off. He didn’t deserve Landon. Not that Landon was any fucking prize for the first half of the book, anyway. When he pulled that shit with—” I shook my head. “Anyway. Yeah, I read every single one. Now please listen to my…moment for a minute. Fuck.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “I really wish I had a better plan or, like, a boom box or something.”
“Would it play Peter Gabriel?”
“That was a good song. But nah, probably I’d pick that one you love by the Jonas Brothers. ‘Only Human’?Goddammit.See.” I pointed an accusing finger up at him. “This is you doing your Jesse thing. You’re deflecting. Classic defense. You’re really fucking good at it, and honestly, it’s kind of one of the things I like about you.” I frowned. That had slipped in there. Whatever. “Like really, really like. Like…loveabout you, actually.” I peered up at him, unnerved by how absolutely awful I was at anything approaching romance. Maybe I should just cut to the chase. “I want you to be mine. My partner, my boyfriend, whatever you want to call it. Call me traditional, but I want it to be official. I don’t want there to be any fucking doubt who you’re with. I don’t want to have to look to you and try to figure out how to answer. I want it to be well-known. I’m sorry for causing more of a scene with Reid, but I saw him next to you and it pissed me off and I reacted impulsively. The idea of you withanyoneelse turns my stomach.”
“It does?”
I nodded. “You’re the first person I look for in any room. I hear you louder than anyone else. Even when you’re quiet. Sometimesespeciallywhen you’re quiet. I’ve never wanted to be with someone else as much as I want to be with you. Making you happy makesmehappy. I’ve never felt that with someone else either. Everything about you makes me feel impulsive and excitable, and it’s both scary and exhilarating as hell.”
Jesse’s lips formed a soft O, and I couldn’t tell whether or not that was a good thing. But when in doubt, offense. “So here’s what I know is true. One, this is definitely the worst love declaration ever, and I’m sorry about that. I’ll try to think of something better and we can have a redo if you’ll let me. Two, I want to watchGBBOwith you every day. I want to study with you and be with you and cuddle with you, and sleep in your bed and do…fuck…do all the really sexy things we’ve been doing together that I had no idea I was missing until I met you. You have the softest lips, and even kissing you is hotter that any sex I’ve ever had.” I swept a hand back through my hair, and it came away damp with nervous sweat. “You told me not to fall in love with you, and I failed. I usually hate failing anything. But I’m not sorry this time.”
“You love me?” Jesse whispered, and I nodded, starting to rise. “Don’t get up yet!”
“Okay.” I waited, dimly aware of the crowd still on the field behind Jesse, and my family, along with Nate, Eric, Reid, Mark, and Chet staring at us.
“Say that part about my lips being soft again. And then tell me who killed Elspeth in book six.”
“Your lips are soft, and you’re a really good kisser. The best. You’re also great at cooking, which I’ve always said. You’re smart, and funny, and being around you makes me feel really good, like everything will be all right. You’re a great cuddler, and you’re not a pushover, though I know you think you are sometimes. That’s because you’re a genuinely fucking nice person who cares about other people, and that’s not a defect, it’s a fucking asset, Jesse.” I sucked in a breath. “Heinrich killed Elspeth in book six, which also pissed me off, and since we’re being brutally honest, I really wanted to quit then, but I had this whole game plan about how I was going to finish the entire series and then casually drop spoilers into conversation one day and impress you.”