Page 33

Kate

The nightmares. Damnit, the nightmares are awful. When I have them, I can feel his slimy tongue and uncaring fingers as if it’s happening all over again. I wake up in cold sweats, shivering or screaming. Sometimes both. I can’t even begin to imagine what they’d have been like had he gotten further. Landon’s always right there with arms ready to hold me.

My outer wounds look much better, and my headaches have been decreasing in consistency and strength over the past several days. He has been so attentive and kind. He even called my mom for me and let her know what was going on. She wasn’t thrilled that we’d kept it to ourselves for so long, but she knew we didn’t want to worry her. They haven’t found Trevor yet. She insisted on coming here to see me, but thankfully she gave up when he explained that I needed a little more time to wrap my head around things.

Landon lets me sleep when I want and brings me food in bed. He starts my showers but doesn’t try to get in with me. The first time, he sat outside the curtain on the toilet just to make sure I didn’t fall since I’d been kind of woozy. I know he’s waiting for me to make that first move back into the sexual part of our relationship, but he isn’t going to push the issue. He sleeps with a shirt on and if he gets an erection, he discreetly repositions himself.

I’ve been thankful for that. I’m kind of nervous that I might freak out if he touches me. I shake my head. No... this is Landon. He would never touch me like Trevor did. Even in our most heated moments of passion, he’s never been uncaringly rough or forceful with me in any way shape or form that would make me nervous. He’d never cause me pain or take pleasure in any sort of struggle. I’m going to have to get back in the saddle soon or I’m never going to let a man touch me again. How do I even have this conversation with him?

As if sensing my thoughts and tenseness, Landon rubs his hand soothingly up and down my arm. We’ve been curled up in his bed while he reads and I listen to an audiobook with my earbuds. I relax back into him. He sighs and rests his head against the top of mine. I can feel the sexual tension rising in the room. I shift my feet together to make it less noticeable that I’m really pressing my thighs together. I just feel so restless, and my body is aching for some sort of release.

“Babe, what is it?” He closes his book and looks down at me in those glasses that suddenly have me feeling all flustered.

He tries to hide a knowing smile because he knows what those glasses on him reading does to me. Like I said, he doesn’t want to push me.

“I... I don’t know how to say it.”

Landon lays the book on his nightstand and pulls my earbuds from my ears, setting them on top of his book. He scrunches us down into the pillows and rolls onto his side to face me, giving me all of his attention.

“You just say it. It’s me. You can tell me anything.” He catches an errant strand of hair and watches how it flows between his fingertips. He looks back to my eyes.

“I want you, but I’m scared.”

A pained look crosses his features.

“You’re scared of me?” It comes out on a whisper, and I shake my head vehemently.

“No, not of you. I’m scared that I’ll think of him.”

His eyes soften. He runs a thumb over my cheek. It’s so tender.

“You haven’t talked about it at all. I’m not sure what I need to be careful with. I promise I won’t ever hurt you or do anything that you don’t like. I’m nervous too.”

“Don’t lick my neck,” I stutter out on a nervous breath. “Maybe let me guide your hands to my breasts the first time?” He inhales sharply, likely putting the images of Trevor out of his mind.

“Anything else?” Curiosity laces with tension.

“I’m not sure how I’ll react when you touch me.” His jaw clenches and he closes his eyes to keep me from seeing whatever emotion is running through his body. He takes a minute before opening them. I see so much. Love, anger, tenderness, fear, a need to avenge my honor, and a fierce need to reclaim me.

“We don’t have to do this now if you’re not ready. I understand, Kate. I’m not in any hurry.”

I give him a soft smile, lifting my hands to pull up at the hem of his shirt. He studies me closely and lets me take my time.

“I’m scared that if I don’t do this soon, that I’ll fear it for forever. I need this. We need this,” I choke out.

I pull off my own shirt and am already braless. His eyes roam as I sit up on my knees and slide out of my panties. I don’t know if I could handle letting him undress me right now. I shake my head to clear the intrusive thoughts attempting to take over.

“You are so brave. So beautiful,” Landon whispers, and my heart aches for him.

He strips off his boxers and sits back against the headboard, motioning for me to straddle him. My choice.

I do so, and he inhales deeply when my core brushes softly up against him. I put his hands on my calves to encourage him to just explore a little, and he obliges me.

“You okay?” he asks as they slide up over my thighs, my hips, my belly, my arms. I nod yes as he takes my face between his hands and kisses me so sweetly. I adjust my hips, and the friction has him moaning softly. I smile. He needs this so badly too. We need this connection.

I grasp his hand and drag it to my breast. His breath sucking in tells me that he’s nervous as hell to touch me. He tenderly grazes the side and underside in lazy half circles. After a moment of tenseness, I melt into his touch. His other hand travels down my sternum to my belly then back up again. That hand traces a big, slow circle around the other breast, his eyes gauging my every feature for any sign of wanting him to stop.

Instead of grasping it, he leans in to trace a tiny but similar circle around my nipple with his tongue. I sigh and press my hardening nipple into his mouth. He draws it in and flicks lazily at it, lightly pulling with his lips as his other fingers trace the other. I moan and rock my mound against him. He rumbles approvingly in his throat and uses a hand to grasp my ass, pressing me harder against his hard dick. I breathe heavily, enjoying the delicious sensations of his hands and mouth on me. Landon claims my lips again between his own. His kisses are soft and unhurried. We rock together until we’re both gasping with need, my body slipping smoothly over his shaft.

“You feel amazing against my cock,” he praises. “May I touch you?” We both gulp knowing this is our last big hurdle, but I agree.

“Lean back a little and let me just tease your clit. If you want more, tell me. If you want me to stop, say it.”

I lean back and watch his hand as it travels over my hip bone. He brushes fingers back and forth from hip bone to hip bone to allow me to get used to the sensation of his fingers moving lower. Nothing fast. He traces my naked mound lightly, stroking outwards onto my thigh and back. He repeats the motion on the other side. His eyes intent on my face. When he feels confident that I won't bolt, his middle finger delicately flutters across my slick clit, and I whimper.

“Good or bad?” he asks huskily, swallowing hard.

“Good...” I whimper out again, and the corners of his lips turn up.

“Slide against me if you’d like, princess. Do anything that feels good. Tell me what you want.” The gravel in his tone makes me shiver.

“Fuck, I love it when you shiver like that.” His touch is still featherlight and I want...more.

“Try it. Please,” I urge him, and he looks unsure.

“There’s no rush. Enjoy the sensations.”

I grasp his wrist and slide his fingers over my slick folds, and with the way I’m spread, they graze my entrance. I whimper again. I need more.

“Please touch me, Landon. Please,” I beg him.

He keeps up his featherlight touches and uses his other fingers to lightly trace my entrance. I clench at the feel of him, my body seeking his touch deeper. He groans and locks eyes with me as his finger tentatively dips inside me. When I don’t object, he slides it in deep, and my body clutches it.

“Oh!” I moan and rock my core against him a few times. “I’m okay with more. Give me more, Landon. Please.”

“Ah, fuck,” he mutters and kisses me hard as he slips a second finger in, catching my moan on his inhale. It feels so good. I’m okay. I got this.

“Make me come.”

“With pleasure...” Landon growls and plunders my mouth with his tongue and my pussy with his fingers. I’m a breathless puddle of want, and in a minute, my first orgasm is barreling down on me, and it’s fucking perfect.

I want him fiercely now. I push his body back against the bed and grasp his hard length in my hand. No more going slow. I got this.

“Fuck, Kate, yes!” Landon cries out as I straddle him higher and impale myself onto him in one smooth move. My pussy smarts slightly at the change of width since it has been several days since he was last inside me. I don’t even care. I cry out, but I start my ride, and the feeling vanishes, quickly replaced with a fresh wave of need.

I ride him fast and hard, fucking his cock mercilessly, erasing any traces of fear that other bastard left behind. He will not live in my bed. He will not come between me and the man I love. My heart hammers and Landon’s groans match my own. He senses my rising tide and thrusts his hips up, burying himself as deeply as possible. We crash over that precipice together with a triumphant cry.

Tears of joy and deep gratitude dash down my cheeks, and he wipes them away as we slow our tempo to a slow grind and kiss deeply. My man rode bravely into battle with me tonight, not knowing what to expect, but I am certain there is nobody I’d rather fight beside more than him. I rest my forehead to his.

“I love you,” I whisper tenderly.

“Always,” Landon swears, and I believe him.