Page 28 of Shattered Truth (Off The Grid: FBI #15)

Chapter Sixteen

As they made their way to the living room, Haley found herself looking at Matt with new eyes.

When he'd first shown up at her apartment, she'd seen him as just another authority figure who wanted to keep her in the dark, to use her for information but not share any in return.

Now she was beginning to see that beneath his FBI agent exterior was someone who genuinely cared about getting to the truth, not just closing a case.

And maybe someone who also cared about her, about Landon.

She might be reading too much into his protectiveness.

He was the kind of man who was going to do his job to the best of his ability, no matter what. She really shouldn't forget that.

"I'll get the ice cream," Matt said. "You get the chocolate."

She grabbed the chocolate bar out of her bag and took it into the kitchen, where Matt had pulled out a carton of vanilla ice cream and two bowls.

Breaking the bar of chocolate into small squares, she tossed them in a saucepan, then turned on the heat to simmer.

"This works better with milk if you have it. "

He retrieved a carton of fat-free milk. "This is all I have."

"It's perfect." She poured in some milk and then stirred it into the melting chocolate. "Why don't you dish out the ice cream? This is almost ready."

After Matt scooped ice cream into two bowls, she poured the warm chocolate over the top. "This would be better with nuts and cherries, but this will work." She didn't take a bite until Matt had spooned up a mix of chocolate sauce and ice cream. "Well?"

He nodded with approval. "It's good."

She took a bite and let out a sigh of pleasure that came not just with the warm chocolate taste, but with the memories that came with it.

Matt gave her a smile. "You look like you've been transported."

"I don't have a lot of happy memories, but the ones I have are usually connected to an ice cream sundae."

"Let's take these into the living room," he suggested.

"Okay." She followed him into the other room and curled up on the couch with Matt sliding in next to her, although keeping a good amount of space between them. "So, what's your favorite childhood memory?" she asked.

"It doesn't involve a sundae."

She smiled. "I didn't expect it would. Tell me."

He thought for a moment, then he said, "I was pitching in a baseball playoff game. I was twelve, and it was the final game of the tournament. My team was up by one going into the bottom of the ninth. I just had to get through three batters, but they were the three best hitters on the other team."

"Well, don't keep me in suspense," she said as he paused for a long moment. "What happened?"

"I was more nervous than I'd ever been. The first batter hit a ground ball to second, and we got the out. The second batter hit a short fly over the shortstop's head and was safe at first."

"You remember a lot of details," she said with amusement.

He grinned and gave an unapologetic shrug.

"It was an exciting game. The next batter got a hit, and suddenly there was one out with two on base.

I saw my win sliding away. I looked to the stands, but no one from my family had been able to come that day.

I wasn't going to get any moral support. I had to do it on my own."

"And…"

He smiled. "I told myself to calm down, focus."

"So, you react well to being told to calm down," she teased.

"When I'm the one saying it. Anyway, I struck out the next two batters, and we won the game."

"You were the hero. No wonder it was a good memory. But a little sad that no one from your family was there."

"I had given up on that long before that game."

"Did you stay mostly with your mom or your dad?"

"My dad during the school year, and my mom in the summers.

But like I said, my dad and stepmother were busy with babies at that point.

My grandfather would sometimes make it to a game if he wasn't working.

My childhood was nowhere near as rough as yours, Haley.

I feel bad even complaining a little about it. "

"It's not a competition, and you don't have to apologize for having a better childhood. You also don't have to pretend it was easy to see your parents split up and start other families. That would have bothered me."

"It was what it was. It upset me for a while, but I couldn't do anything about it. And it certainly doesn't matter now. I don't even think about it."

Despite his strong statement, she had the feeling it wasn't really that black-and-white for him, but she was probably lucky he'd told her as much as he had.

"Well, congrats on your big win. You kept your focus, and you did what you knew how to do.

I see that same resolute determination in you now, and I find it comforting. "

"I'm glad you feel safe with me. I will do everything I can to protect you, Haley."

She met his gaze. "I know you will, Matt. You're a good man, better than I thought when we first met. I assumed you'd be like everyone else I've met in law enforcement, dismissive and cynical, too jaded to even try anymore."

A shadow moved through his expression. "I was beginning to worry that's exactly what I was becoming.

When I joined the LA field office, it was run by a really good man, Damon Wolfe, but he left three months ago, transferred to New York, and his replacement, Rebecca Markham, has not been nearly as good.

I knew I needed to quit or make a move. Luckily, I ran into Jason one day, and he was raving about his elite task force and said I should join them. "

"And your new team is different than your old one?"

"So far, yes. I wasn't even supposed to start until Monday, but Sabrina's death moved up the timeline when my name was found in her pocket. Since I jumped in, everyone else has lined up behind me with enthusiastic support. It's very refreshing."

"I'm glad, and I'm also happy that Sabrina had your name in her pocket.

Otherwise, someone else would have shown up at my door, and he or she would not have gone to the lengths that you have.

" She let out a breath. "So, tell me more about your baseball career.

Did you keep playing after the big game? "

"Through high school. That was it. I wasn't good enough to go pro, and when I got to college, I was far more interested in the party scene."

She smiled. "Really? So, you were wild, huh?"

"Just your average eighteen-year-old away at school with no parental restrictions, not that I'd had a lot of restrictions, even during high school. My parents were too busy with the younger kids."

"I have a feeling you didn't go too crazy."

"What about you?"

"I went to community college for two years and then Long Beach State, but I was taking care of Landon, so no party scene for me." She paused. "Did your party scene include a lot of pretty girls? Did you have a college girlfriend?"

"A couple. Nothing serious."

"And more recently?" She knew she should not be asking such personal questions, but she wanted to know everything about him.

He gave her a thoughtful look. "Why so interested?"

"I'm just making conversation. You don't have to answer."

"I had a two-year relationship in my mid-twenties, before I went into the FBI.

She was a free-spirited travel photographer, and she wanted to spend a year going around the world.

I didn't want to follow her. But I was tired of my financial job, and I was already thinking about the FBI, so it was a natural breaking point for us. "

"No broken hearts?"

"Not for either of us. Your turn."

"I hardly dated until Landon went to Westbridge. After that, I moved to Santa Barbara for my first reporting job. It was a young scene, a lot of grad students where I lived, and I had a couple of short-term relationships, nothing serious."

"And in the last six years?"

"I didn't see anyone the first two years after Landon died.

I buried myself in my new job and never went out.

Eventually, I went on some dates, but there hasn't been anyone I wanted to work less for.

I was kind of using that as a barometer.

Would I rather be at work, or would I rather go on a date?

And, honestly, it probably wasn't any of them who were the problem; it was me. I have been hurt a lot, and I don’t like to get too close or too deep.

Casual and fun is fine, but intense emotions… those are scary."

He nodded, a gleam of understanding in his eyes. "It's much easier to risk your life than your heart. Or at least, it has been for me."

"Yeah, me, too. Not that I'm in the habit of risking my life, as you are, but I do take professional risks, and I never have a second thought about it.

I've written articles that could cost me my job, but I just stormed forward, throwing caution to the wind.

I never worried about consequences." She gave a helpless shake of her head.

"I don't know why I'm such a coward in my personal life. "

"It seems like you just haven't met the right person."

"I guess not. Same for you, huh?" She knew they were treading into dangerous territory, because there was a simmering attraction between them that was getting hotter by the minute.

In fact, what was left of her ice cream had already melted.

She set her bowl on the coffee table. "We should change the subject. "

"Okay," he said, also probably sensing that they were getting too deep. "You've talked a lot about your family, but I wanted to ask you…what happened to your mother? Is she still alive?"

"I think I'd rather go back to talking about my nonexistent dating life," she said dryly.

"We can do that. I was just curious."

"I don't know if she's alive. I haven't seen her since I was eighteen and Landon was thirteen."

"What about when Landon died?"

"I had no way of telling her. I didn't know where she was."

"Did your great-aunt know where she was?"