Page 25 of Shattered Truth (Off The Grid: FBI #15)
"You're a stronger person, Haley. Maybe because of what happened."
"Maybe," she admitted. "I definitely grew up fast after that. I tried to tell myself he wasn't in pain anymore, and I should be happy about that."
"Except that you were still in pain," he said, meeting her gaze.
"I was. Along with Landon and my mother. I couldn't understand why my father wouldn't have been able to predict that my mother would fall apart, that Landon and I would suffer without him. Or maybe he did consider that and just didn't care."
"If he was in emotional pain, he wasn't thinking clearly."
"I have tried to accept that, and mostly I have. But sometimes my anger overwhelms me."
"I can't begin to tell you how to feel about what your father did. But I can say this; you're not just angry with him."
He was right. "My mother is also on the list," she conceded.
"But she's not at the top. You're in the number one spot. And that's the anger you need to let go of, Haley."
"I don't blame myself for what happened to them."
"But you do blame yourself for what happened to Landon."
"What happened to him is my fault. I wanted him to go to that school. I encouraged him to join the fraternity. I thought the connections would be valuable. I didn't know they would kill him."
"How could you know that?" he challenged. "And you weren't living on the campus. You weren't around him all the time. The information you got came through text messages and phone calls and a few visits a year, right?"
"Yes, but we were so close. I should have known."
"Do you think he'd want you to feel angry and guilty, to blame yourself?"
"No. He'd be pissed off."
"I get why you take it all on, Haley. How could you not? You became the caretaker in the family, not just of Landon, but of your mom."
"I failed with her, too."
"You didn't fail; she did. Why are you so hard on yourself?"
"Because look where I am. I didn't save any of them."
His gaze softened with compassion. "It wasn't your job to save them, especially not your parents.
And Landon's death was at the hands of someone evil.
You weren't there. You didn't know what was going on.
" He paused. "I know you can hear me, but I can see that you don't believe me.
When I look at you, I don't see a failure; I see an incredibly determined, loving, fiercely loyal daughter and sister. "
Despite her stubborn refusal to ever let anyone make her feel better, she had to admit his words were a soothing balm to her soul.
Sometimes, she felt bruised and battered by her own rough edges.
"Thank you for saying that. It does mean something to me.
" She paused, giving him a smile. "A man who listens and can cook—how are you still single? "
He grinned. "A beautiful woman who fights for truth and justice for her family—I could ask you the same question."
"Sometimes I can be too intense, too single-minded."
"Same," he said with a nod. "And then I'm not cooking or listening to someone else. Work has always been my anchor."
"After a childhood of flying back and forth between parents and cities. That makes sense."
"Yeah, I'm sure a psychologist could see a connection between that and how I live my life now."
"Oh, please, a psychologist would think you are incredibly normal. They would have a field day with me and all my craziness."
"Not craziness," he corrected. "You're a survivor, Haley. But you go beyond basic survival. You're trying to make the world a better place for everyone. That's what your reporting does. I have to confess, I'd almost forgotten there were people like you in the world."
She cocked her head to the right, giving him a questioning look. "Really? Why?"
He shrugged. "I've gotten jaded. I've seen too many people cut too many corners lately. But you remind me that sometimes the fight for truth and justice is shockingly pure and clear-cut."
"Sometimes. But this case isn't at all clear-cut.
It seems like any one of the people we've spoken to in the last few days could have been involved in my brother's death, and I can't help thinking I missed something big six years ago.
I thought I had overturned every stone I could see or that the police had.
But there was a clue we missed, a clue Sabrina obviously found. "
As she spoke, her hand crept to the necklace Landon had bought for her birthday.
It was ironic that he'd thought of her as his North Star, because in many ways, his presence had guided her, too.
She'd had to be strong for him. She'd had to set an example.
He'd kept her grounded. They'd both been home for each other.
Her finger suddenly caught on one edge of the star, and she was surprised by a sharp unevenness. She ran her finger back and forth, feeling like something was off.
"What's wrong?" Matt asked.
"I'm not sure. There's something sharp." She reached behind her neck and unhooked the latch, then held the star pendant up in front of her, seeing the sharp edge on the back side of the thick star.
"It looks like a latch," she murmured, running her fingers over the area in question.
She pushed on the pointed edge, and it opened the back side of the star. "Oh, my God!"
"What is it?" Matt asked.
She pulled out a tiny silver square. "This was inside. I don't know what it is."
"I do. It's a drive."
"For a computer? But it's so small. And why would it be inside the necklace?"
Matt's eyes blazed with excitement. "Because Landon wanted to put it somewhere safe, and where would be safer than in the necklace he was giving his sister?"
She stared at the tiny drive in shock, a mix of fear and excitement running through her. They might be about to find out why her brother had died and maybe who had killed him.