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Roslyn

Mate Match Transcript: S24 E13 INTERVIEW 5

Contestant: Roslyn|Producer: Sella

S: This is it, Roslyn. The big day. How are you feeling?

R: I’m feeling good. Ready to get this over with.

S: Over with? You’re not excited for the Choosing?

R: Oh. I am. Um, I mean, just ready to, you know. Get on with it. Get off-world and on to the rest of my life

S: The rest of … your life? Or yours and Zan’s?

R: … Sorry. Yeah. I… that’s what I meant.

S: It’s alright. Do you need a minute? Maybe we can start over.

R: Yeah, Sella. Yeah. I think I’d like to start over.

I can’t believe I said that.

I can’t believe I almost asked Zan to…

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Sitting in the living space of Juni’s bungalow, I’m as ready as I’ll ever be to face the Choosing. My makeup is done, my dress is on, and I’ve even completed my final interview with Sella.

All that’s left is to face Zan.

To end the game we’ve been playing. To finish the storyline we’ve been selling.

One last mission.

I don’t know what exactly to expect from today. When Zan and I face the cameras, face Geeno forcing us to declare ourselves or end our relationship, one of us will be asked to go first. One of us will have to say yes, or no, and a pit opens up in the bottom of my stomach at the idea of having to make that call.

But it doesn’t matter.

None of it matters.

We’ve known from the start how this was going to end, even if I forgot for a moment.

This morning was a mistake. Thinking of a future for us beyond the Eritin beach was a mistake. Letting myself feel more than I should was a mistake.

And now it’s time to fix it.

A soft knock on the door proceeds a tentative Sella sticking her head in, eyes widening when she spots me.

“Roslyn,” she breathes. “You look…”

I stand, smoothing my hands over the front of the dress I chose for today. The color of starlight, a pearlescent golden silver, it shimmers and shifts with the shrug of my shoulders.

“I look alright.”

Juni and Sella both chuckle.

“Ros, you know you look amazing,” Juni says, crossing the room and giving me a final once-over, checking to make sure all the artistry she helped me accomplish today will hold up under the eyes of the hovers and the billions of viewers who will watch the next few minutes play out on comms screens all across the sector.

“All set?” Sella asks, a bracing smile on her face.

I nod, give Juni a parting hug and a quiet promise to be in touch after all this insanity ends, and follow Sella out the front door to where a hover platform similar to the one that picked Zan and I up for our date waits for us.

From there, it’s a quick trip up the beach, past the end of the line of bungalows, around a rocky point that juts out into the cerulean Eritin ocean, to a strip of private, secluded beach.

“It’s just up the path,” Sella says. “Zan will be waiting.”

She gestures to a small, sand-scattered path through a tree-break, and I steady myself with a deep breath before heading down it. I’m flanked by no less than a dozen hovers, but at this point they barely phase me. I just concentrate on getting where I need to go without stepping on the delicate hem of my dress.

Each moment passes in stops and starts, like photos in an album that I flip through, not really living them myself. I’m just an observer, detached.

I think that’s the only way I’ll survive this.

Through the trees, another section of beach stretches wide. It’s flanked by a steep, greenery-drenched cliff-side and ringed by towering palms.

It’s beautiful, dramatic, the perfect place to end a love story, if that’s what we were actually dealing with here.

Even more beautiful is the Revexoran waiting for me.

There’s a small, raised platform half-way up the beach, decorated with an abundance of lush florals and a wooden archway that looks suspiciously like something that would be included in a human wedding ceremony.

Zan meets me at the foot of the platform, taking my hand and helping me up the stairs.

We take our places by the arch, hovers still capturing every vivid detail, when Geeno appears. He steps up to stand with us at the arch with his familiar, polished confidence and showmanship. He launches into a short monologue about our journey, our love story. I have to stop myself from catching Zan’s eye—I’d either break into a fit of giggles, or start crying. I’m not really sure which at this point.

I can barely bring myself to look at him, even when Geeno finishes his spiel and finally gets to the point. Zan’s grip tightens around mine, and I still can’t make myself meet his eye.

I focus on our clasped hands instead. The long, elegant lines of his fingers almost completely engulfing mine. The strength of his touch, an anchor that’s held me steady through this whole insane process.

Hands I could imagine holding me steady for the rest of my life.

“Roslyn,” Geeno’s deep, resonant voice snaps me out of those thoughts.

Oh, god.

He’s going to make me go first, isn’t he?

He’s going to make me end it.

“Do you accept Zandrel as your Mate Match?”

I do meet Zan’s eyes, then. That familiar black, as fathomless as looking into the endlessness of deep space. That silver, swirling starlight waiting and waiting and waiting for me to answer.

“No.”

Geeno audibly gasps, and maybe when I have a few more spare braincells to process what’s happening here, I’ll feel some kind of satisfaction at being able to surprise the unflappable host.

But right now, all of them are occupied.

Zan’s grip tightens for a fraction of a second before it relaxes. His shoulders fall, and the silver in his gaze goes duller, somehow, but I don’t know how to read his reaction.

All I know is that this was inevitable.

All I know is I was always bound to leave Eritin alone.

Savvie doesn’t need me, and Zan doesn’t need me, either.

They’ve both fought hard for the lives they’ve chosen, the futures they want to live, and now maybe it’s time for me to do the same.

I wrap my arms around Zan’s broad shoulders and lean in close enough that I hope the mics can’t pick up my whispered words.

“Good luck. With everything. I know how much good you’re going to do for all those kids. I know it will be worth it, Zan.”

When I pull back, his face is stone. The galaxies in his eyes swirl deep and dark and unsettled, and it’s not until I turn to leave that he finally speaks.

“Ros.”

I’ve never heard that tone from him. Hoarse, broken, almost fragile as I toss him one last smile over my shoulder.

“Goodbye, Zan.”

Then it’s time to stop looking back, time to stop wishing things were different, time to face facts.

Time to put this behind me, time to get on with… well, with whatever comes next.

And even though my heart feels cracked open wide in my chest, even though every step away from him feels like a step in the wrong direction, like a step I’ll regret every day for the rest of my life, I don’t look back again.