Page 18

18

The roaring wind was brisk with late-autumn chill, and my cheeks stung as I lugged my increasingly heavy luggage toward the wide soccer field. Onlookers filled the bleachers, milling around in a crowd of nameless faces. However, Miles’s presence was instantly recognizable amongst the masses.

He wore gray pants, brown soccer cleats, and a long-sleeved sweatshirt to protect him from the cold. His garb was the same as his teammate’s, but what made him stand out was his collected, assertive mannerisms.

It was surprising, because while we were with his other Xing, he was the most passive of the group.

The witch was yelling and waving his arms as he and a teammate argued. It was interesting to see him so passionate—he obviously took the game quite seriously.

Did he approach his legal studies with the same vigor? If so, he’d be an impressive lawyer.

It was then, when he was pointing across the field, that he turned in my direction. His eyes widened, and strict features fell. He stopped shouting and lowered his arm.

I was here to wait for his practice to be over—we all knew this was the plan. I expected him to wave, or perhaps even throw me an acknowledging nod—after all, I was late, and he was clearly busy.

But instead, he ignored his obligations, and, to my horror, jogged across the field. I could almost feel everyone’s curious attention as he stopped in front of me.

“Hey,” he said, and my eyes fell to his lips. “I’m glad you’re here. I was getting worried.”

“I’m fine,” I told him, still catching my breath. “I picked up a few things for later.” I squeezed the strap pressing across my chest.

It had been a long trip up the hill, and clearly, I was in worse shape than I thought.

Miles’s observant gaze drifted to my luggage.

“I’ll get that,” he said, and had already pulled the bag over my head before I could protest. I shivered as his large hand closed over mine. His muscular form blocked the worst of the chill—literally, as he’d placed himself between me and the brunt of the wind—and he lightly nudged my shoulder with his elbow as we walked together. “Practice isn’t too long today,” he said.

Was it just me, or was he trying to watch my face as he spoke?

“We’ll drop by Aine’s house after practice—the garden still needs to be maintained—then go back to Damen’s to regroup,” he finished. The light nature had left his expression at this, and I couldn’t help but wonder…

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

Didn’t he want me here? Or maybe this was too much work—he must have very important witchy things that needed tending. The last thing I wanted was to impose .

“It’s nothing,” Miles muttered. “Just… ghosts.”

“Oh.” That was it? Did he not like ghosts? But did he not realize that ghosts were everywhere?

Although to be fair, I did not like to be around most people. And they were everywhere too. I, too, was exhausted from the overstimulation.

I could relate.

“Don’t worry.” I squeezed his hand. “We can work together. Okay?”

Miles slowed down, and my chest tightened as the rude nature of my question hit.

“I-I don’t want you to do everything for me!” I clarified. “It’s… I thought, maybe if we worked together, we could get finished faster.” His expression remained unchanged, and I added, almost begrudgingly. “I’ll give you some money, obviously.”

It made sense, if both of us were doing the job, we should share the profit.

His nose was wrinkled in distaste. “I’m not going to take your money.”

“But…” I’d been keeping track of their spending and was working out a payment plan with interest. “I already owe you—”

“I’m not taking any money from you,” Miles interrupted. “Ever. Do you understand?”

“Okay.” I understood that he believed this, but who knew what the future held? Where there was a will, there’s a way.

Miles narrowed his eyes. “Why do I feel you don’t actually understand?”

“I don’t know,” I answered. How was I supposed to know how his mind worked? Only he could answer that question. “Why do you feel that?”

I was somewhat curious to know .

He looked at me before his shoulders slumped, and he sighed. “I’m too tired to think.”

He was kind of cute, all disheveled and confused. When he was this vulnerable, it was easy to ignore the rest of the world and focus on him. His arm brushed against mine, and my heart began to beat a little faster.

There was something horrifying beginning to curl in my stomach.

I could never let him know. Even acknowledging such feelings was unsafe.

“You can wait here.” Miles pointed to a folding chair. He’d led me away from the crowd, toward a handful of onlookers at the edge of the field. Besides us, there were three other girls present. “I’m not going to be able to watch you every second—”

I groaned. I didn’t need to be watched every second . After all, I’d made it up this accursed mountain on my own, all while carrying luggage and a backpack. I was dependable.

“—but I did just hear from Julian,” Miles said. His mouth twisted in unease. “We haven’t spoken to Finn yet. I believe he might try to reach out to you. Do you remember the plan?”

I rolled my eyes. I’d already gone over the plan multiple times today.

“Just humor me.” He placed his hands on my shoulders. I was shivering from the cold, and he frowned as he looked into my face. “I want to know if you’re prepared.”

He was such a worrier.

Suddenly, Miles released me before he pulled off his sweatshirt. Without warning he pulled the garment over my head, messing up my hair in the process.

“Miles!” I gasped as he manhandled my arms through the shirt. He’d been running around in this thing; surely, it was covered in man sweat .

Yet, I was warmer. But would he survive? Now he only had an ugly brown T-shirt.

“The plan.” He ignored my protests as he rolled up the sleeves to my wrists. “What was it?”

So that’s how it was going to be?

I pursed my lips and repeated the well-rehearsed instructions—with modifications, of course. I’d had plenty of time to think and perfect the details. “I should stay somewhere public, or close to one of you, at any given moment. However, if Finn is still able to find me alone, I should disregard everything and everyone and beat in his face. Then, when he’s quivering on the ground in pain and humiliation, I should kick him in the balls.”

This was, in my humble opinion, an improvement from running away.

However, Miles did not appear to believe so. He frowned. “That’s not the plan.”

“It should be,” I muttered, glaring over his shoulder.

I thought I’d spoken too low for Miles to hear, but he picked up on it. “That’s actually a tiny bit scary,” he said.

My face burned with shame. Why, oh why, did I allow the most impure aspects of my nature to escape? I should have just kept my mouth shut.

Surely, he was aghast.

“Although,” Miles mused, “Julian and Titus might agree with your changes—Julian especially. He can hold a grudge forever. Damen might also enjoy violence, but he tends to be more patient with Finn. Before going nuclear, Damen and I both have a few questions first.”

Did that mean… Julian and Titus would do it then?

That was hard to believe; Julian was so gentle. And, on another note, since when did Damen have a temper?

“Stop plotting Finn’s death.” Miles was still judging me .

“I’m not!” I gasped. I did not want to see Finn destroyed, just permanently maimed so that he, too, would feel the same betrayal and helplessness as I did.

“Well, whatever you’re doing, please take it to your seat.” Miles wrapped his arm around my shoulders and turned me to the row of chairs. “Coach is getting impatient.” He looked at the field—at the middle-aged adult screaming at the team of younger men—and my ire fled.

I was keeping him from his practice.

“Sorry—” I began, but my statement was silenced as Miles pressed his fingers to my lips.

“Just wait here, okay?” he asked, but it was more like an order.

We walked to the seats, and he dropped my bags at the end—the furthest space away from the other girls. We were close enough for them to hear our conversation, so I sat, nodding, as he turned away.

“See you soon.” He lifted his hand in a wave, and I, more slowly, waved in response. With each of his retreating steps, it grew harder to ignore the familiar way that the onlookers studied me.

Still, even if things ended up the same, it’d be worth the hassle—for friendship. I would do anything for the people I cared about, and I could easily see that these men were worthy of that attention. All I wanted was to have real friends, and for that, I would do anything.

The restroom was dimly lit, and even though the dark line of stalls looked creepy under the dim, flickering lights, my biological urges outweighed my survival instincts. Not even the interesting interlude where Miles decked a teammate stayed the demand.

I moved with bated breath, completing my routine, and washing my hands. Maybe I’d catch the tail end of the fight.

One of the flickering lights died, capturing my attention. The promise of violent sportsmanship paled in comparison to the familiar foreboding in the air.

There were no spirits nearby, at least not that I could feel, but my breath was visible in the glass in a manner that didn’t make me think it was just the cold. I shivered as I splashed the cool water over my hands, and even though the faucet was set to hot, the temperature was not getting any warmer.

My attention wandered to the open doors at the end of the long room, and a chill settled in my bones. I couldn’t hear anything from the outside, not even Miles’s absurdly loud fans. But that didn’t mean anything. I could be too far away.

Would anyone be able to hear me if I screamed?

Maybe, I could be a pretty loud screamer.

My gaze returned to the faucet. The skin at the back of my neck had begun to prickle. Someone—something—was watching me. I couldn’t tell what it was or where it was coming from, but slowly, the atmosphere changed, and there was no denying the faint, weak touch of a nearby spirit.

I’d lingered too long. I twisted the knobs to turn off the water, but as I turned to leave, I spotted the white-blonde shape from the corner of my left eye.

A delicate, hazy figure was reflected in the long, gold-rimmed mirror—the same girl who’d visited me only a few nights before.

My breath caught in relief.

“H-hello.” My throat was dry, but I still managed to whisper out a semi-coherent greeting.

This time, she didn’t run away, and as the last of the overhead lights flickered, her pale features solidified into something more human. She was older than I thought—a young woman, maybe even around my age—and looked back at me with her big, baby-blue eyes.

Her soft pink lips parted, but when she spoke, her voice was too soft for me to hear.

I was not afraid. Instead, the sight of her caused my stomach to knot in guilt. I’d started this process to help her, and at the first sign of trouble, I’d gotten distracted.

“I’m sorry.” I placed my hand on the glass beside her reflection. Her lips stopped moving as her gaze moved to my fingers.

I hated this helpless feeling. “I don’t know what you want.”

She didn’t try to speak again. Instead, she cocked her head as soft curls framed her cheeks. Then, with a slowness that left me breathless, she raised her hand too.

There was an eerie quiet moving across the room, and my skirt fluttered against my calves as the stale air shifted. The coldness grew more pronounced as she pressed the tips of her fingers close to my palm.

“Please don’t try to help me.” Her voice touched my head even as her lips stayed still. “You need to stay away,” she said, repeating the warning she’d given me once before. “You shouldn’t risk yourself. It’s not worth it.”

What wasn’t worth it?

But, as I watched her—the way her eyes clearly betrayed her desire to be saved—I couldn’t.

“I can’t do that,” I told her. I didn’t understand this urgency, but I couldn’t hold myself back. I’d seen spirits all my life, but rarely felt such kinship with one. It was my job to help her. “Everyone is worth saving, especially you.”

Her eyes rounded, and her ashen complexion paled further. “But you’re— ”

The door opened, streaming the afternoon light into the room, before two girls entered. They were leaning into a secret conversation and were so absorbed that they didn’t notice me—nor the ghost. She looked at them before disappearing.

I was still looking in the mirror, so I saw the reflection of their reactions the instant they spotted me. Their unguarded expressions shielded from surprise to distrust.

‘It’s her.’ I didn’t have to hear them—the words formed effortlessly on their lips—and my breath caught in my throat. The last visage of any hope I’d been holding on to faded away.

So this was the price I was going to have to pay to have friends.

“Sorry,” I whispered, not sure if they could hear me. But it wouldn’t have mattered.

I wiped my hands over my skirt and sidestepped them. It was better this way. There was a sound behind me, but I didn’t stop to check and see what it might be. I walked quickly, with my breath tight and my shoulders hunched, until the shadow of the building was far behind me.

I returned to my seat, holding my fists over my knees, and watched Miles as he grinned at his teammates. He looked so carefree and relaxed, and he had such a good heart. I would never regret my decision. I didn’t want to live in a way that allowed others to dictate my actions.

It was only with that peace of mind that I was able to breathe again.

Miles left me outside a brick building that housed the locker rooms. He’d asked me to wait, but he was taking forever. His teammates had been trickling out of the building for some time, and I’d resorted to drawing stick figures in the soft dirt with a stick to save myself from boredom.

By the time he finally came outside, the toes of my flats were smudged with earth.

Apparently, his definition of ‘quick’ and mine were not the same.

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly, not looking me in the eye. His hair was still damp, and a light pink dusting over his cheeks brightened as he picked up my bags. “Coach wanted to talk to me,” he said.

“Is everything all right?” I asked as I fell into step beside him. His strides were naturally longer than mine, but he adjusted his gait so that I could keep up without running.

“Just another lecture,” Miles muttered, almost bitterly. “Nothing I haven’t heard before.”

What would Miles have done to deserve a lecture?

“Was it about the fight?” I wondered. I’d imagined that such displays in athletics were the norm. After all, Finn was always getting into similar situations, and nothing happened.

Even the professionals on television reveled in such dramatics.

I wasn’t stupid, though. I could understand that not everyone approved. “Did you get into trouble?”

“Trouble?” Miles looked at me, his fluffy brows drawing high. Why did he feel more distant than earlier? “No,” he said finally. There was an invisible wall between us keeping me away. “It was just about girls.”

“Oh,” I replied. Why was my stomach twisting with unease now?

Miles allowed his gaze to move toward the distant fall foliage. “He wanted to make sure we were being safe.”

“What do you mean?” Perhaps I’d misheard, because in this context, that made no sense .

His face turned red again. “Safe, as in, protected.”

I tilted my head. It still did not make sense. Why would Miles need to be protected? Was it from the fans? Their presence had been rather hard to ignore.

But if there were issues there, I could take care of things.

“It doesn’t matter.” He suddenly stalked forward. I had to rush to catch up. “I told him that it wasn’t like that. We’re friends.” He was speaking faster now, which made his words slip.

I chewed the inside of my lip, trying to hide my frustration. Understanding accents was especially difficult for me.

“But then he said that maybe it wasn’t good for us to be friends.” It almost seemed like he was talking to himself. I wanted to scream. I was certain I was missing some much-needed context, but he didn’t notice. “I don’t know where he gets off thinking he can lecture me on the rules.”

“What rules?” I asked. It was the only part of his tirade I was certain I picked up correctly.

He glanced at me, and his furious expression faded. “The ones about dating,” he answered. And when I only blinked at him, he added, slowly, and much more distinguishably. “The ones that say that the Xing aren’t allowed to be in relationships.”

My tight breath released. That… was actually really reassuring.

And it explained Damen’s reaction earlier.

But did it make me a bad person that I liked this rule?

“Sorry.” Miles rubbed his jaw. “It’s easy to forget that you were raised differently.” He touched my elbow, and with that small gesture, the wall between us vanished.

We’d made it down the hill and to the parking lot behind the library. Few vehicles remained as afternoon classes had already ended.

Hopefully, Damen would be waiting .

“We can’t have serious relationships or have children,” Miles explained.

“Oh.” I squeezed my fists and looked away. Why was my face hot?

“Our only priority in life should be our positions as spiritual leaders,” Miles continued. “Anything outside of that is a distraction and a weakness. It’s our job to protect everyone from the negative aspects that exist within the paranormal, and we must focus on our mission without worldly ties. Does that make sense?”

I nodded. It made perfect sense. Of course, their priority should be the ultimate good. It was kind of cool.

I’d never thought my best friends would be celibate, crime-fighting, paranormal monks, but it made sense why I’d felt at ease with them. Plus, they were safe to be around and very strong. It wasn’t every day that a girl could be so honored.

The nervous tension released from my shoulders.

“I get it,” I answered. It was freeing not to have that concern. I had four new friends, a fresh outlook on a new life, and a mystery to solve. Who cared if everyone else hated me?

I really was the luckiest girl in the world.