Page 35 of Shadowed Vows: Ghost (Nightfall Syndicate #1)

twenty-nine

Alina

W hat the hell am I doing here?

The thought crashes through my mind, unbidden and unwelcome. I'm supposed to be investigating Jenny's death, not playing soldier. Three days of brutal training has left every muscle screaming, a physical reminder of how far out of my depth I really am.

I sit up on the edge of the medical bed, wincing as my body protests the movement. The quiet of the room emphasizes how alone I am right now.

"Dammit," I mutter, pressing the heels of my hands against my eyes. My shoulders ache from Asher's shooting drills. My legs burn from Jax's evasion techniques. Even my mind feels bruised from Cole's endless situational awareness scenarios .

Paper crinkles in my pocket as I shift—Jenny's client list. I'd been ready to confront Kade with it, force him to see what I'd been working on before he hijacked my life.

Senator Richardson's aide.

The CFO of Meridian Banking.

The Chinese ambassador's son.

All linked to the same escort service. All with connections to shipping companies operating through the Port of Oakland—where Apex Solutions clears its tech imports.

Three of those men dead within weeks of Jenny's murder. All "accidents" or "suicides."

The medical bay door swings open, and Kade's massive frame appears, immediately dominating the space. My body tenses despite the pain, anger flaring fresh and hot in my chest. I fold up the list and put it in my pocket.

"How are you holding up?" His voice is low, careful. He's carrying a tray with pain medication, a water bottle and some cream.

I straighten my back, ignoring the protest in my muscles. "I'm fine."

He sets the tray on the nearby table. "That's not what Remy's report says."

"Since when do you care what's actually true?" The words come out sharp, cutting.

Kade's jaw tightens, the only indication that my barb landed. "You're pushing yourself too hard."

"That was the point of the last three days, wasn't it?"

He pours a glass of water, movements controlled and precise.

"Take these," offering me pills and the water.

I accept them without meeting his eyes, knocking back the medication in one swift motion .

"Thank you." Professional. Distant. Like he's been with me ever since our confrontation.

"I brought ice packs for your ribs," he adds, gesturing to the tray.

I nod, not trusting myself to speak. I reach for the pain cream on the table, twisting to apply it to my back. A sharp twinge makes me gasp. My muscles lock up, refusing to cooperate.

"Let me help." Kade doesn't ask, just steps closer.

"I don't need—"

"Yes, you do." He takes the cream from my hand, his touch clinical. "This isn't about us."

I bite back another retort, too exhausted to argue. As Kade applies the cream to my sore back, I stare fixedly at the opposite wall. His hands are strong, the pressure firm but careful. I hate that it feels good. I hate that I need his help.

"This knot is deep," he comments, voice neutral. "You shouldn't have pushed through that last session with Damian."

"I needed to know I could handle it."

His hands pause briefly before continuing. "You have nothing to prove, Alina."

"Don't I?" I turn my head slightly, catching his eye. "I'm the civilian. The liability. The one you've been manipulating from the start."

Kade's expression remains frustratingly calm. "Is that what you think?"

I turn away again, focusing on the dull throb in my muscles. "I need to see my parents."

His hands still. "That's not a good idea right now. "

"It wasn't a request." I pull away from his touch, turning to face him fully. "Three days of being pushed to my physical and mental limits. Three days of your team poking and prodding at me. I need to see my family, Kade. I need..." I swallow hard. "I need something normal. Just for a few hours."

He studies me, those blue eyes giving nothing away. "It's a security risk."

I laugh, the sound brittle. "Right. Because none of your perfect plans ever involve risk."

I reach into my pocket, pulling out Jenny's folded list. "Three days ago, I was going to show you this. Proof that Jenny was onto something big before she died. Names, dates, connections to shipping companies at the same port Apex uses."

I slide the paper toward him. "I was going to share this because I thought we were on the same side."

Kade glances at the document, then back at me. "We are on the same side."

"You manipulated me from the first moment. Everything—" My voice breaks slightly. "Everything was calculated."

"Not everything," he says quietly.

I shake my head, not ready to hear whatever explanation he's about to offer. "I need to see my parents. Today. Now."

Kade's jaw works as he considers my demand. Finally, he pulls out his phone, maintaining eye contact with me as he speaks.

"Cole. I need you to escort Bennett to her parents' place. Full security protocols." A pause. "Yes, now. "

Something twists in my chest at his easy capitulation. At the fact he's sending Cole instead of taking me himself. Which is ridiculous—I should be grateful for the distance.

"Cole will be here in five." Kade pockets his phone. "He'll keep you safe."

"Like you've been doing?" The words come out more hurt than angry.

Kade's expression softens fractionally. "Alina—"

"Don't." I hold up a hand. "I can't do this right now. I just need to see my family and remember who I was before... all this."

He steps back, giving me space. "Take the pain meds with you. Be back by 2100 hours."

I nod stiffly, sliding off the exam table with as much dignity as my sore body allows. Kade watches me, something unreadable in his eyes.

Before I can say anything, there's a knock at the door. Cole stands there, expression neutral.

"Your chariot awaits," he says with a small smile.

I gather my things, refusing to look at Kade again. As Cole leads me from the room, I can't help the ridiculous pang of disappointment that Kade let me go so easily. That once again, he's sent someone else in his place.

This is what you wanted, I remind myself harshly. Space. Distance. Clarity.

So why does it feel so wrong?

"Ready?" Cole asks quietly.

I nod, squaring my shoulders despite the pain. "Let's go."

Why couldn't Kade come himself? He stalks me, so damn protective, but when it actually matters...

My fingers drum restlessly against my leg as I glare out the car window. Cole maneuvers the nondescript Toyota Camry through San Francisco's crowded roads. I can't shake this irritated feeling gnawing at me.

I shake my head, trying to dispel the frustration. It's not fair to Cole, who's been nothing but professional.

"You okay over there?" Cole's voice breaks through my brooding.

I turn to face him, forcing a smile. "Yeah, just... I don't know. I guess I thought Kade would want to come himself."

Cole's eyes remain fixed on the road, but I catch a hint of understanding in his expression. "Kade has a lot on his plate right now. Planning the op, coordinating with our contacts. He trusts me to keep you safe."

"I know, I know." I sigh, running a hand through my hair. "It's just... my parents are going to have a million questions. I was hoping he'd be there to help explain... whatever we can actually tell them."

"We've got protocols in place for family protection," Cole assures me. "I know it's not ideal, but we've done this before. Your parents' safety is also important."

I nod, but the knot in my stomach doesn't loosen. "And what exactly am I supposed to tell them? 'Hey Mom and Dad, I've joined a secret mercenary group. Don't worry, it's totally safe!'"

Cole chuckles, the sound surprisingly warm. "Maybe leave out the 'mercenary' part. We prefer 'specialized security consultants.'"

Despite myself, I crack a smile. "Oh, is that what we're calling it now?"

"Sounds better on a business card," he quips.

We lapse into silence as we approach North Beach. The familiar sights of my childhood neighborhood do little to calm my nerves. As we near The Bay Herald office, I spot my dad's old Volvo parked out front.

They're home. This is really happening.

"You ready for this?" Cole asks, pulling into a spot across the street.

I take a deep breath, steeling myself. "As ready as I'll ever be."

Cole's hand on my shoulder startles me. His dark eyes are serious when I meet his gaze.

"Remember, we've got your back, Alina. All of us. Even Kade, especially Kade."

I nod, touched by his sincerity. "Thanks, Cole. Let's do this."

As we exit the car, I cast one last glance down the street, half-hoping to see Kade's motorcycle roaring towards us. But the road remains empty, save for the usual North Beach traffic.

Time to face the music. I square my shoulders as we approach The Bay Herald's familiar facade.

At the top of the stairs, I take a deep breath and knock on the apartment door. Mom opens it immediately, worry etched on her face.

"Alina! Thank goodness you're okay." She pulls me into a tight hug, so tight I can hardly breathe.

As I step inside, the familiar scent of Mom's lasagna fills the air. Dad and Grandma Sophia are seated at the kitchen table, their conversation halting as I enter .

"Hi everyone." I try to keep my voice steady. "Sorry to worry you."

Dad stands so quickly his chair scrapes against the floor. "Where the hell have you been? We've been calling for days. Your mother's been sick with worry."

Mom's hands flutter around me, checking for injuries. "Are you hurt? Have you eaten? You look tired, sweetheart."

"I know, I'm sorry. My story... it got complicated." I glance at Cole, who gives me a subtle nod before disappearing down the stairs.

Grandma Sophia's eyes light up with interest. "Well, well. Who was that fine specimen of a man? He looks like he could bench press a small car."

"Just a... colleague," I say, settling into a chair. "He's helping with my investigation."

Mom sets a plate of lasagna in front of me, her hands shaking slightly. "A colleague? He looked like he belongs on a SWAT team."

I force a laugh. "Mom, come on. It's not that dramatic."