Page 30 of Shadowed Vows: Ghost (Nightfall Syndicate #1)

twenty-five

Alina

I wait in the passenger seat, the car's engine humming softly in the underground parking garage. Kade's knuckles are white on the steering wheel, his jaw clenched tight. The silence between us feels heavy, charged with unspoken grief.

My heart aches for him. I want to reach out, to offer some comfort, but I'm not sure how. This stoic, dangerous man suddenly seems so vulnerable.

"Kade," I whisper. "We should go inside."

He nods, a barely perceptible movement, then takes a deep breath. "Yeah. Let's go."

We step out of the car, our footsteps echoing in the cavernous space. Kade leads the way to the elevator, his broad shoulders tense beneath his jacket.

He uses his fingerprint on the scanner and presses the top button.

As the elevator ascends, I study his reflection in the polished metal doors.

His blue eyes are stormy, filled with a pain he's trying desperately to hide.

I want to say something, anything, to ease his burden, but words feel inadequate.

The doors open silently to reveal a stunning penthouse. Floor-to-ceiling windows offer a breathtaking view of the city, but Kade doesn't notice. He moves like a man in a trance, shrugging off his jacket and tossing it carelessly over a chair.

"Do you want some water?" I ask, desperate to do something useful.

He shakes his head, running a hand through his dark hair. "No, I... I just need a minute."

He paces the length of the living room, his movements becoming more agitated with each turn. Suddenly, he stops, his fist connecting with the wall with a sickening thud.

"Kade!" I rush to his side, gently taking his hand in mine. His knuckles are already swelling, blood seeping from split skin.

"I've spent my entire life protecting people," he says, his voice raw with emotion. "And I'm tired of losing the ones I care about most."

The admission seems to break something inside him. His shoulders slump, and for a moment, I think he might collapse.

I guide him toward the sofa, my fingers curled around his wrist. He drops onto the cushions, hunching forward with his elbows propped on his knees. His massive frame seems to fold in on itself, making this powerful man suddenly appear devastatingly vulnerable .

I kneel before him, my chest tight with an ache I can't quite name. When I place my hands over his, they're trembling. Without hesitation, I move next to him and wrap my arms around him, pulling him against me.

His body shudders as he breaks. No sound escapes him, but I feel each silent sob like it's my own. The dampness of tears soaks through my shirt, and my own eyes burn in response. This is Ghost—the man who terrifies even hardened criminals, but now he's falling apart in my arms.

"I'm here," I whisper against his hair, my voice catching. "You're not alone in this."

The city lights twinkle beyond the windows as I hold him, feeling the raw emotion pouring from him. My throat tightens as I witness his walls crumbling completely.

"I don't usually... lose control like this," he murmurs eventually, his voice rough.

"What you're feeling is normal. Roman was important to you."

Kade nods, his gaze distant. "He was more than just my mentor. He was family."

My stomach twists painfully. I wonder how many years he's kept all this pain locked inside. The burden of being in charge, always facing danger, and losing people he cares about—it's all coming out now, like a dam finally breaking.

I run my hand gently over his back, feeling each tense muscle beneath my fingertips. Every touch seems to draw more grief from him, as if my presence is both comfort and permission to feel.

This is Kade stripped bare , I think. The real person beneath "Ghost"—a man who gives a damn, who carries the burden of each death that happened on his watch .

His breathing gradually steadies, but he doesn't pull away. I'm struck by how different he feels in my arms compared to our training sessions. There, he was all controlled power and deadly grace. Now, his strength has given way to something raw and honest.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs against my shoulder.

I shake my head, my hair brushing against his face. "Don't apologize. You don't have to be strong all the time, Kade."

He lets out a shaky breath that warms my skin. "Yes, I do. People depend on me. I can't be weak."

"This isn't weakness, this is being human."

He finally pulls back, his blue eyes meeting mine. They're red-rimmed and filled with a vulnerability I've never seen before. It makes my breath catch in my throat.

"Thank you, for being here," he whispers.

I reach up, gently wiping a tear from his cheek. "Always."

I shift to sit beside him, our shoulders touching. Our shared silence feels sacred, filled with grief and unspoken words.

"Tell me about him," I say, hoping to offer some comfort through memories.

A sliver of a smile flickers across Kade's face. "Roman was... larger than life. Brilliant strategist, natural leader. He could walk into any room and command attention without saying a word."

I listen as Kade shares stories, his voice growing steadier with each memory. But I can see the pain lurking beneath the surface, threatening to overwhelm him again.

"I should have been there," he says suddenly, his fists clenching. "If I'd figured it out sooner, maybe—"

"Kade, stop," I interrupt gently, placing my hand over his. "This isn't your fault. You can't torture yourself with 'what ifs'."

He looks at me, his blue eyes swimming with grief.

"When we found him, there was so much blood," he whispers, his voice breaking. "He died alone, Alina. After everything he did for me... I couldn't even be there when he needed me most."

My chest constricts painfully. The raw agony in his voice makes my eyes blur with tears.

"He knew you would come for him," I say, my voice trembling. "He trusted you until the end."

"I can't lose anyone else," he confesses, so quietly I almost miss it.

My heart aches at the raw pain in his voice. I want to promise him that he won't, but we both know that would be a lie in his dangerous world.

Instead, I take his hand, careful of his bruised knuckles.

"I can't promise that won't happen," I say honestly. "But I can promise you're not alone."

Kade's fingers tighten around mine, and for a moment, I see a flicker of something else in his eyes, a warmth that makes my breath catch. But then he blinks, and his walls start to rise again.

"We should get some rest." His voice has regained its usual controlled tone. "Tomorrow's going to be... challenging."

I nod, understanding his need to retreat, to process his grief in private. As I stand to leave, Kade catches my wrist gently .

He rises to his feet, his body radiating heat as he moves closer. My heart pounds against my ribs so hard it hurts. His blue eyes meet mine, filled with vulnerability and something else I can't quite name.

I lean in, intending to place a gentle kiss on his cheek—a gesture of comfort, of understanding.

But as I hesitate, my lips just inches from his skin, Kade turns unexpectedly. Suddenly, his mouth is on mine, and the world falls away.

The kiss is intense, but not aggressive. It's slow, deep, and achingly sensual. His lips move against mine with a tenderness that makes my knees weak. I melt into him, my body responding instinctively to his touch.

My mind races, trying to process the flood of sensations. This is Kade—my protector, my trainer, the man I've come to trust with my life. And now, he's kissing me like I'm his lifeline.

I can taste the faint salt of his earlier tears, mixed with something uniquely him. My hands move of their own accord, sliding up his chest to tangle in his hair. A soft sound escapes as he deepens the kiss, his tongue teasing mine.

This is crazy . We shouldn't be doing this .

But I can't bring myself to pull away. The heat between us is intoxicating, drowning out all rational thought.

Kade holds my face, his rough thumb caressing my cheek with unexpected softness. The feeling of his skin touching mine makes my whole body tingle. I move in closer, desperately wanting to get rid of any distance separating us.

The kiss seems to go on forever, yet ends far too soon. My head spins as we pull away from each other, our chests heaving. Lust courses through me, battling with shock in my mind.

I gasp softly as Kade's hands begin to explore, his calloused fingers tracing a path of fire along my skin. I arch into him instinctively, craving more contact.

"Is this okay?" Kade murmurs, his voice husky.

"Yes," I breathe. "Don't stop."

My own hands roam over his muscular chest, marveling at the hardness beneath his shirt. I can feel his heart racing, matching the frantic beat of my own. Slowly, I slide my fingers under the hem, savoring the warmth of his skin.

Kade groans softly, the sound vibrating through me. His lips find my neck, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses along my throat. I tilt my head, giving him better access as pleasure courses through my body.

"Fuck, Alina," he growls against my skin. "You're driving me fucking crazy."

The raw need in his voice makes me whimper. I tug at his shirt, suddenly desperate to feel more of him. Kade obliges, breaking contact just long enough to pull it over his head.

The sight of his chiseled torso makes my mouth go dry. Scars map across his tanned skin—some jagged, some surgical—each telling a story of survival.

"Your turn," he says with a wicked grin, his cock visibly straining against his pants.

My hands shake slightly as I unbutton my blouse. Kade's eyes darken as more skin is revealed, his gaze hot enough to burn. When the fabric finally falls away, he pulls me close again, the feel of skin-on-skin contact making us both gasp .

"Christ, you're so beautiful," Kade murmurs, his hands skimming along my sides, thumbs brushing the undersides of my breasts.