Page 85 of Shadow Throne King

“I thought of seducing you. I thought I could do it. I told myself I would have to. But…” She flattened a hand on the silk of her dress, her long fingers extending before she pulled them back into a fist. “I could not do it. Even for Hallu’s sake. I had… my father told me what to do with Millu when I was so young my monthly courses hadn’t even come. And I had done that to help my father, to give him benefits no one else in court had. I could not make myself do it again, even though I was older and wiser. PerhapsbecauseI was older and wiser.”

Tallu swallowed. He opened his mouth just enough to draw a jerky breath. “We could have pretended. You could have been my empress, and we could have claimed Hallu as my son. Knowing how my father’s… interests wandered, no one would have doubted it was possible that I warmed your bed while he took his pleasures elsewhere.”

This time, she did reach out, cupping his cheek, her silk sleeve hanging between them, exposing a delicate pale wrist. “Do you truly believe that?”

Tallu went silent and shook his head.

“For four generations, every emperor has killed all of his brothers, all of his sisters, anyone who might claim the throne in their own name. Some other faction at court would have takenHallu and tried to use him.” She dropped her hand, and Tallu’s head tilted as though trying to follow her touch. “You and I both know how many enemies you made in court. I could not ask you to do that. I could not risk Hallu like that. With my sister banished and my brother acting as my servant, to put my son at the mercy of the court? To know that he would become nothing more than a pawn so some other man could rule? And once you weredisposed of, once Hallu wore the golden crown, how long would my son last? What end would he find when his—and my—usefulness as House Atobe heirs came to an end?”

“But why my father? Why not poison me with him? If you had disposed of us both, thenyoucould have acted as regent for Hallu, and you would have avoided being anyone’s pawn.” Tallu fixed his gaze on her, and she bore it like the heavy burden it was. “It would have been so easy to slip something into my food as well, and I had no reason to doubt you if you served me tea in your rooms.”

“Do you truly think I could have poisoned you?” Her words were curious, no sadness, no blame, not even a hint of guilt.

“I think that to save your son, you were able to poison my father, and I cannot see how it was different.” His words seemed to be from a separate conversation, as though he was listening to things she hadn’t said. “You say you wanted to keep your son from being a pawn, but you walked him into Krustau, where the king is now holding him over my head. I believe he wanted the four generals standing against me to fight amongst themselves for Hallu, as stray dogs fight for a scrap of food. The one to win him will win a legitimate claim to the throne.”

“Tallu, I know you cannot believe this because you were raised in the court, but I love you. We were two children, and we both had to do horrible things to survive. I saw you as my son.” She stopped, but when Tallu showed no reaction, she repeated her words. “I saw you as myson. I may have borne Hallu with mybody, but Iraisedyou after your mother died. I tried my best to be the mother you needed. You taught me how to mother Hallu. When I suffered your father’s touch, I thought… I thought there isone good thingI can make from this. I can save Piivu, I can save my sister from dying with her traitor husband, and I can save Tallu. My son.”

Watching Tallu was watching a mountain crumble to a relentless tide. He shook his head, frowning, and I realized that even though he had taken such comfort from her, he had assumed that Koque saw him as a pawn, a piece to be moved on a game board.

“But I was responsible for the fall of your father and Lord Dalimu—your sister’s husband. I am the reason that she was exiled to Forsaith.” Tallu seemed to struggle over his next words, swallowing before saying, “I could have stopped my father for what he did to you. To all of the girls he took.”

“Is that what you think?” Koque asked, her hands clasped gracefully in her lap. “It took me years to work up the courage to kill the emperor, and you think I would not give you, the man’s son, more grace than me?”

“I should have done it myself,” Tallu said, his voice thick. He cleared his throat. Despite all his anger and hate toward his father, I could see the hesitance. “It would have saved many the misery of his attentions.”

She looked down, rubbing her thumb and forefinger together so hard the nail beds were white from the pressure. “It is done now. It is done. And I am not sorry for it. I amnot.”

Her voice broke on the last word. She cleared her throat.

I tried to see the woman we had faced the day before in her, and it was impossible. She was gentler. She was the mother that Tallu had tried to tell me about. The black stones, I realized. Before, she had been speaking for the benefit of the ShadowKing, so his dark rocks could echo back whatever she said to his ears.

“It is done,” Tallu agreed. “I am emperor, and you must know that I cannot let Hallu remain here. If the Shadow King offers Hallu to Kacha or Bemishu in exchange for an alliance…”

“So youwouldkill him?” Koque whispered.

“Never,” Tallu said sharply. “Never. He is my brother, and I am taking him as such. He cannot remain here as a political pawn of empires. He is mybrother,and I will protect him as best as I am able. He is not protected here, even you can admit that.”

“No.” Koque glanced at Vostop, her smile sad. “No, he is not safe here. I do not believe anyone is.”

“Will you come with me?” Tallu asked. “I take him because he is family, not because he is my heir. But you also are my family.”

Koque looked away from Vostop. She glanced at me briefly before turning her eyes to Tallu. “I was not merely speaking for King Inor’s ears when I said you now have a consort. It is not my place to confuse the court.”

“Trust me, Empress, no one in the Mountainside Palace would possibly confuse us. They all say that I am clearly the more attractive of the two of us.” I grinned, and she hid her laugh behind her hand. “In all honesty, I would love a more experienced mentor to support me. The ladies of court have nearly eaten me alive.”

Koque’s smile creased the corners of her eyes, and she nodded. “And I cannot let you take my son without coming with him.”

“It is settled, then,” Vostop said, some of the tension easing off his shoulders. “We must leave at once. My men will come with us. We’ll go to Prince Hallu at once.”

“He is not with you?” Tallu asked, two lines creasing his brow. “I thought you said he was ill.”

“The king insists on keeping him in the healing caves,” Vostop said. “He is worried about the prince’s health.”

“He worries that his prize will be worthless dead,” I said. “Is it that bad?”

“I see my son only when I beg,” Koque admitted. “King Inor does not let me near him. He said that my love for him is what weakens my son.”

Tallu’s lips twitched just slightly, and on anyone else, it would have been a flinch. It was an echo of what Tallu told me his own father had said to him, and I didn’t hesitate before taking his hand. He did flinch then but turned, his eyes wide when he looked at me. I tried to smile at him, but his own expression was so lost that I felt it slip away.