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Chapter 4 ~ The Mission

Rígan

“I have a good feeling about this,” Lou said as we were shown from Bailanín into its front courtyard after the meeting. It wasn’t the prettiest of courtyards—Bergspeer’s was grander, with sparkling fountains and hedges that led to gardens sprawling toward the forest and the Lake of Unity—but the array of rose bushes against the light brown stone were a nice touch, the soft scent enveloping us as we walked. There were supposedly gardens at the back, but I hadn’t glimpsed them.

“I do too,” Maya said. “Didn’t think a couple hours ago I’d be this excited for the job.” She beamed. “This is the perfect assignment, Rígan.”

“You know, I heard you the first time,” I teased. Really, without Dàibhid in the mix, it would be perfect.

No—it would be perfect, anyway. This sort of assignment was what I’d come to Cunlaran for. I wouldn’t change my dreams just because he was involved.

I wondered if he’d look at me the same way tomorrow, as someone desirable. I couldn’t shake the lightning that look had shot through me no matter how hard I wanted to. Perhaps I could let myself relish in it. For the time being, until we saw him again. For ten-year-old me’s sake.

And ten-year-old me also deserved an afternoon where I wasn’t circling what-ifs like a vulture. I’d done enough of that already.

We wandered through the upper-district streets, making our way toward home in the lower district. My stomach growled loud enough for the whole street to hear.

“Who wants those goodies?” I asked, rifling through my coin purse to make sure I had enough on me.

Lou skipped ahead and turned, walking backward. “It’s Second Day, you know.”

I jingled the coins. “We know what that means.”

Maya opened her arms wide and yelled, “Cheese biscuit day!”

A couple women jumped at Maya’s exclamation, stumbling over their feet. Maya put her hands up in apology while I tried to stifle a laugh, dragging her forward.

“They need to know, though,” she said in defense.

“No, they don’t,” Lou said. “If they’re reminded, it means there’ll be less for us.”

Lou led us toward the busiest shopping district in the center of the city. The upper district had shops of all sorts—the goods were generally more expensive and higher quality, sometimes imported—but the center district was where the average person did their shopping or went to eat. In the hub of it all, the streets were lined with bakers and butchers and clothiers and bookstores and everything in between, with homes in the levels above. Colorful displays winked out of windows, peddlers sold their wares from carts, and residents from every street in Ardanna lined the walkways. Eventually, the streets opened into the square, complete with sparkling fountain, and the most incredible smell greeted us.

We beelined for the hottest spot in Ardanna, The Crown Bakery. Except I looked at the sun, noting the time, and groaned. “We might be too late for cheese biscuits.”

“Maybe they made extra?” Lou said.

Upon entering the shop, we discovered the cheese biscuits were, in fact, all gone. I supposed that’s what happened when you missed the lunch rush.

“We do have some blueberry muffins left over from yesterday,” Siobhan Leancormac, one of the owners, said with a wink. Her round, pink face was splotched red from hard work, her wheat-colored hair piled high on her head. “Half off for the lot of ’em, if you’d like.”

“You know my heart, Siobhan.” I passed her coin, taking a bag of muffins in exchange and immediately diving into one.

The store was quiet, giving her and her family a break. It was just the three of us with the three adult Leancormacs—Siobhan, her husband and fellow-owner Colm, and his daughter, Saoirse, who all stood behind the counter.

“What have you lot been up to today, then?” Siobhan asked, coins freshly stowed.

Lou, Maya, and I exchanged glances. Dàibhid had made it clear he didn’t want anyone to know about this assignment unless absolutely necessary—and he chose who was necessary.

“Shift this morning, this and that since,” I said. “Thought we’d do a bit of wandering.” They didn’t need to know that would include making some stops to stock up on gear. We may not have known what the assignment was going to be, but that wasn’t stopping us from finding an excuse to buy a new something or other. Or three.

“Doesn’t that sound lovely,” Saoirse said with a mocking look at her stepmother. Her golden-brown hair, the same shade as her father’s, was dusted with flour, as were her flushed golden cheeks.

Siobhan waved her off. “You get three whole days off a week. Three .”

“It’s that new book,” Colm supplied. “The one from the continent. Apparently the bookstore got a few copies in.”

“What book?” It had been a while since I’d read something good.

Saoirse lit up. “It’s an account of a Coryan scholar’s travels. Studying plants and the like, for healing and eating.”

Not my kind of book, then; I preferred histories, legends, myths. I tried to keep my initial enthusiasm for her. “I’m sure you’ll enjoy that.”

“Want us to pick one up for you?” Lou asked.

I thought Saoirse was going to faint from excitement.

Once the book was acquired and delivered, we stocked up on what we thought we might need—a few new tunics each, fresh leather strips to tie my hair back, a new bonnet for Maya. Lou insisted on purchasing some rare herbs the apothecary got in, wanting to test out a new stew that could be good for the road. He didn’t listen to our argument that the castle was likely to supply food; I couldn’t imagine Dàibhid not wanting to contribute something, from what I remembered of him as a child. We’d just have double the food for the trip.

Not that I was complaining.

“I assume we’ll be given horses for the road,” Lou said.

I peeked at Maya, anticipating her reaction, as we wound our way to the blacksmith’s to have our swords sharpened. The one at the gate was fine, but the shop hidden in a little alley at the border of the center and lower districts was the best.

Maya, to my amazement, kept her features neutral. “I assume so.”

I snorted. “Like you’re not ready to combust from excitement.” I grabbed her arm. “We get horses .”

Her smile was slow as she held her composure, but it gave way to a squeal likely to burst my eardrums. Lou barked a laugh.

“We get horses !” Maya exclaimed, having stopped walking to bounce on her feet. “It’s been too long since I’ve been riding. Or pet a horse. Or spent any real time around one.”

Her enthusiasm was contagious. She’d grown up around the animals, her family having always worked with them, from stable hands to cavalry riders. She’d cared for the imperial horses herself, riding and training them whenever she had the chance. Her jobs in Cunlaran had afforded her money and comfort, but woefully little time with the stunning Cunlaran breeds.

“What are you hoping for?” I asked as we started walking again.

“I genuinely don’t care. I just want a horse. A borrowed horse, I’m aware. But a horse nonetheless.”

“Maybe you’ll get a donkey,” I said.

She flicked my side. “Ass.”

“Yes, that’s what I said.”

“Alright, first of all—”

“Do I have to separate you two?” Lou called over their shoulder.

Maya and I shared an amused glance before answering in unison, as though we’d been chastised by an older sibling. “No.”

“Good. Because I’m too lazy to at the moment.”

I chuckled. They were just as bad as us.

“So where do we think we’ll be riding these horses to?” Maya asked.

I chewed my cheek. It was a good question. Dàibhid hadn’t supplied enough information for us to know where we could be headed.

“Has to be north,” I said. “That’s where most of the attacks are happening.”

“My thoughts exactly.”

“How many missions do you think he’ll want to send us on?” Lou asked, falling into step with us. “His list of hopes is a long one. I doubt we could do it all in one go.”

My stomach pitched. This was a single job. There had been no indication that it would lead to more. I wasn’t banking on it leading to more. And there was no reason we couldn’t gather all the intel Dàibhid needed on the first try, not if he sent us somewhere high in reported activity.

I shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe we’ll get lucky and get everything for him right away. Besides, he didn’t imply there would be more.”

“True,” Lou said.

“It would be perfect if we could get everything in one go,” Maya said. “Think of how many people’s suffering would be prevented.”

“Let’s hope we can. For them,” I said. They needed a successful mission more than I did.

“For them,” Lou echoed.

Once done at the blacksmith’s, fewer coins to our names but shinier metal at our sides, we passed through the remaining store-lined streets in the direction of the southern gate. My resolve for this to be a single assignment had grown in the sweltering forge. The blacksmith was losing customers to fears they’d run into rebels or even Exiles inside her doors. Given the secluded location of the forge, I could see their logic. But she was an intimidating presence openly against Balor’s aims. Rebels would need to think twice about using her services.

Though I supposed she might not be able to tell who she was servicing.

Our home was only a couple streets up from the gate, where most city guards lived. While most were employed by the city itself rather than brought on as independent sellswords, few people drew the distinction. Still, the guards would likely remain within the ranks for their entire careers; as sellswords, it was understood we likely wouldn’t.

Partway home, a small cluster of people stood to the side of the street, cups held out for coin. There was little poverty in Ardanna since Dàibhid took the throne, having continued the work his father began, but it was inevitable people would fall on hard times.

There were four of them, equally dirty, none looking directly at us. They wore tall sturdy boots, thick trousers and skirts, light shirts. Once decent quality, now torn. They could have fit in with the people I’d seen on royal and foreign tours with my father, the ones who had made me want to do something.

I fished out a coin and plopped it in one of the cups, iron clanging against wood with a dull thud. Lou and Maya followed suit.

“What happened?” I asked as gently as I could.

The youngest, perhaps a couple years younger than me, looked up. “The farms, miss. Ours was one the rebels hit.”

I kept my rage in check so she wouldn’t see. Made sure she only saw the sympathy. But it was damn hard.

I held my hand out to Lou, who carried our remaining muffins. I gave the farmers the entire bag. I let the I’m sorry bubbling up die on my lips. They didn’t need what I was sure was yet another one. They needed someone to step up for them.

My resolve hardened that much further.

Lou glanced back at the struggling farmers as we walked away. “It might be the perfect assignment, but I hate the reason we’ve been offered it.”

My hands fisted, the rage leaking out. “We’ll help them. Whether we get everything the king needs or not, this assignment will help them.” I’d make sure it did.

We dipped our chins to the few guards we passed on our street before spotting our lieutenant commander, shirt askew, coming out of a home that wasn’t hers. I raised an eyebrow.

“What I do on my time off is no concern of yours,” she said, not so much as a hello. A moment later, a northern-gate guard stepped out of his home and turned bright red at our knowing looks.

“Oh, like you three don’t do the same,” he said, rushing for his post.

“Speaking of . . .” Maya nudged me. “How’s Nial?”

“Why do you want to know?” I hadn’t given Nial, a guard stationed at the western gate, a single thought since we’d received the summons. He was fun, I’d give him that. And attractive. But I didn’t exactly think much about how he was doing.

Lou chuckled. “You know, I’m still confused by your continued interest in him.”

I couldn’t blame them. Nial wasn’t my type when it came to serious relationships, and my friends knew it. He was kind, and gods did he know what he was doing in bed. But he wasn’t right for me. He didn’t challenge me, didn’t make me feel special or seen, didn’t have any real passions. He was just . . . pretty.

“Lou, my continued interest relies on something remarkably specific.”

“Sex,” Maya and Lou said simultaneously.

I swatted them both.

The sun was lower in the sky now, the summer evening encroaching. The cool breeze tickled my bare forearms. The second we got home, I kicked off my boots, socked feet padding on wood. It wasn’t the smallest house I’d lived in, and it was decently nice, but it also wasn’t big. The walls were a painted brown plaster, similar to the colors of Bailanín. But the little touches of our lives—the various trinkets Lou had acquired in their travels, the beautifully carved horse Maya’s brother had made her, the cozy green quilt Bryn had knit me—grounded me. I breathed in the familiar musty air and wondered, despite munching on muffins most of the afternoon, when we might eat dinner. A weight lifted from my back, the kind of feeling only being at home could bring. Leaving Bailanín hadn’t been enough; I’d needed this solid familiar to shake off the last of my unease from being around Dàibhid.

Lou sauntered over to the couch, plopping themself down unceremoniously. “While we’re talking attractive men . . .”

“I agree,” Maya said. “Definitely attractive.”

“Wait, what?” I said.

“King Dàibhid,” she clarified.

Well, shit. Did I say I agreed—which, frustratingly enough, I did—or try to change the subject? Either way, I had to say something. I chewed my lip, debating, which made me think of the cute way he used to bite his lips when we were younger, whenever he was uncertain.

“Yep!” Lou said. “She agrees.”

I snapped my head up. Both were looking at me expectantly. I had no choice.

“He’s damn attractive,” I confessed.

“His eyes are so vivid ,” Lou said, falling back into the cushions. “I don’t think I’ve seen green ones like that before.”

“Me neither!” Maya said, plopping down next to them. “Though I also have to say, he’s got a nice smile. And shoulders.”

Lou looked at his own shoulders as though offended. His build wasn’t all that different than Dàibhid’s.

“Yes, Lou, you have nice shoulders too,” she said.

Lou chuckled. “You do have a point though.”

I stayed silent, hoping they’d discuss Dàibhid among themselves. I’d noticed what they had. I’d noticed everything. My younger self had reared her head and brought her crush with her. I’d been willing to accept it earlier. Now? I told her to shut up and considered calling upon Nial right then and there.

“Alright, we both said something.” Lou waved me on. “You have to round us out.”

Damn Lou and their inclusivity. I tried to think of something flirty and distracting. Something that could get me out of the conversation. Instead, I blurted, “His hair.” I wanted to kick myself. But their eager expressions made me lean into it. “It looks so soft. I had to physically restrain myself from touching it.”

“Gods, yes,” Lou said.

They both spent a little more time discussing Dàibhid’s attractive attributes, but it didn’t take much effort on my part to steer the conversation toward other attractive people. Lou stood, went about making dinner while Maya set the table and I made a fire as the cool night air set in, and I fell into the comfort of our regular rhythm.

I didn’t need to focus on Dàibhid, or tomorrow’s meeting, despite the rising concerns our conversation had rekindled. I deserved one more normal night before leaping into something I’d thought beyond foolish this morning. One more night where I wasn’t wondering if he’d figure me out—though I still believed he wouldn’t, especially given this would be a one-and-done assignment—and what he’d do if he did.

If he found out and told my parents, I’d have to give up this life, be forced to leave Maya and Lou and have to explain to them why I was leaving. Tell them who I was, and then they’d see me differently. Everyone always had. Had always come to see me as something they couldn’t touch, something somehow better than them. Some thing , period, not some one . The thought of Maya and Lou doing the same could have brought me to tears.

There was no way I would let that happen. So, I’d play the part, refuse to act suspicious around Dàibhid, and then we could go our merry, separate ways.

I breathed deep, muscles relaxing as we sat down to dinner, my friends laughing and making me feel loved like they always did. Things would be fine. I was in the country I’d loved since I was a child. I was going on the assignment of my dreams. I was the warrior my family didn’t know I needed to be.

Except Bryn. She knew. And she’d be proud.

The next morning brought with it a notice for our lieutenant commander, should we still be willing to take the assignment—because of course Dàibhid would give us yet another out—explaining we were temporarily relieved from city guard duties. When we gave it to her as she headed for her shift, she didn’t act surprised, like she somehow expected it. She likely chalked it up to the king paying us more than the city guard did. She clapped us all on the shoulders before granting us a rare compliment.

“The king was smart to select you. You’re three of our best.”

By early afternoon, we were inside Bailanín with Dàibhid explaining the assignment. We were seated around the same table, with the same maps, in the same chairs, candlelight once again dancing between pockets of sunlight. If not for the different clothing, it might have been the same day.

“You’ll leave in three days for the Keep to gather what information you can,” he said. “You’ll slip inside the city walls, still as sellswords but with different names. We don’t need people tracing you back to the capital.” To me , he didn’t have to say. “You can pretend to shop around for a client and offer your services, tell people you’re admirers of their way of life, whatever you have to do to earn trust. Don’t align yourself with the Exiles, but don’t make it clear you don’t support them, either. We need as many people talking as possible.”

“Shouldn’t be too hard to get guards and other sellswords to talk, at least,” I said. “Most tend to gossip.”

He nodded. “Use that to your advantage. But we’ll likely need more than that. Find the average person, even get as close to the Keep’s lord as you can. But don’t stick your necks out and risk him discovering you. In any case, I need to know where the Exiles and rebels are, what their numbers are like, and if any rumors about them are true. And if anyone knows details about Balor, make note of them.”

While I hated the reason for our mission, anticipation built with each instruction. This was a chance to play a role, even if only a little. For manipulative purposes, sure, but not every job could be completely honorable. Manipulating for information on Exiles and rebels actually sounded rather fun.

I could’ve been a performer in another life.

“And what if—” I cut myself off. I’d already made a few comments, more than was proper given the circumstances. And Dàibhid didn’t know I knew him; as far as he was concerned, we’d never had a relationship where I could freely speak my mind.

We didn’t have that kind of relationship anymore, period.

Except he motioned for me to continue, like speaking our minds was exactly what he wanted.

“What if no one is forthright with information?”

“I’ve considered that,” he said. “I want you to give this mission no more than three weeks once you set foot in the Keep. We won’t have contact, to minimize risk.” He paused, fingers tightening around nothing. There was no paper this time. “But I can’t have you waste time, nor can I risk your lives for nothing. So whatever you have by the end of three weeks, even if that’s nothing, you bring it back here, directly to me. Don’t engage in any fighting unless absolutely necessary. Defense, not offense. And I’ll be sending a royal guard with you. Undercover as well, of course. If anything goes horribly wrong, he’s to come straight here with the news while you stay in place. We can’t risk having you all leave and raising suspicions, and asking one of you three to act as messenger felt unjust.”

“And if we do find nothing?” Maya asked. “What then?”

The farmers we’d seen the day before. The blacksmith. The people feeling unsafe both within and outside of Ardanna. We needed to find something for them. For anyone who might be attacked next. I’d scour the Keep until someone was forthright with information. We wouldn’t come back empty-handed.

“If you find nothing, we re-evaluate. I’ll work with Cianán to determine a secondary course of action while you’re away. Do your best to find something we can use, but don’t worry if you can’t,” Dàibhid said. He chewed his lip like he’d worry about it for us.

After clarifying a few more points, we were escorted from the castle. As we made our way south through the center district, the day cooler than the bright sunshine would suggest, Nial sidled up to us. I hadn’t seen him since the practice yard a few days ago, and given the look on his face, he had gossip to share. I caught Maya rolling her eyes. Despite the usual gossipy nature of guards, Nial’s boasting style left much to be desired.

“Did you hear they’re cutting guards from the gates?” He smirked, like he wanted me to be impressed that he had information.

“Where did you hear that?” I added just enough intrigue to make him think I actually was curious and not in the know.

“Oh, around. You’d think at a time like this we’d be upping security, not removing it. I bet it’s to show the Exiles we’re not afraid of them. But Hammad thinks Commander Lochlin is cutting jobs to secretly funnel the king’s funds into his own pocket. I wouldn’t be surprised. He’s probably funding his own retirement.”

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. Loyal and stalwart Lochlin pulling funds from Dàibhid into his own pockets? It was laughable. But Hammad would spew the first thought that came to mind in hopes of someone listening. Unfortunately, Nial was often that person.

But if this particular rumor about pulling guards was going around, how would the people feel about Dàibhid? Like he wasn’t doing enough? This one had to get nipped in the bud.

“Jobs aren’t getting cut, Nial,” I said. “Some are being reassigned. The positions will be filled.”

The wind tousled Nial’s sand-blond hair. “How do you know?”

“We’re on loan to Glaochnamara for a few weeks.” It was the cover Dàibhid had created. It was a smart one—it was a busy and highly populated city, and while their attacks hadn’t been terrible, Lord Decon was known to be overly cautious, sometimes to extremes. A few sellswords being pulled to help with port security for the summer trading season wasn’t out of the question.

“They’re filling our positions until we get back,” Lou finished.

“Oh.” Nial had the gall to look downtrodden. He soon swapped it for the brilliant smile he knew I liked. “You won’t know what to do without me while you’re gone.”

I flashed him the smile I knew he liked. “Perhaps.”

He veered left when we passed the street leading to his post at the western gate, and Maya tsked. “Seriously do not see what you like about him.”

“The arms, the hands, the—”

“Stopping you there,” Lou said. “I don’t need Nial’s visuals.”

I laughed.

“Think the rumors in the Keep will be as easy to distinguish?” Lou said.

“Let’s hope so,” Maya said.

They'd better be.