Page 81 of Shades of Earth (Across the Universe 3)

But he breaks away from me just long enough to ask one thing: “Are you sure?”

And he waits for my answer.

Before, the first time, on Earth with my boyfriend Jason, I thought I was sure. But he never asked, and I never answered, and we did it all silently, in the dark, fumbling around as we tried to put our feelings into physical form. It wasn’t a choice—it was just an action, a blind submission to desire.

I have made very few choices in my life. I respond to the situation, I react, but I have not set the course of my life and strode forward with the determination of a captain sailing into a storm. When my father gave me the choice to board Godspeed or stay on Earth, I didn’t decide, not really; I just accepted a fate I thought was inevitable.

It was only Elder—it has always been only Elder—who asked me to choose who and what I am. What I do.

“I choose this,” I say, my voice ragged with want. “I choose you. ”

I have never desired anything more than him in this moment. He leads me up to his room on the second floor, where my sleeping bag is already spread out. I thank whatever twist of fate made me leave it here last night.

We fall into each other. All the other voices in my head—the fear, the doubt, the worry—are drowned out. I die at the end of each kiss and am brought gasping back to life at the beginning of the next. I close my eyes and the entire world fades away.

There is only him and me and this thing between us that I cannot name, not out loud, but that my heart knows is love.

I shiver when I finally wiggle out of my clothes. Sweat on my skin makes the cool night air even colder. But then Elder touches me, and my skin alights with fire and warmth.

I kiss him, hard, and his hands slide down my back, to my hips. Strong hands, hands that will hold me and never let go. I feel, oddly, both safe and afraid in this moment.

He looks once in my eyes, a question still there. But we are beyond questions. We are in a place where there are only answers, and my answer to him is yes.

42: ELDER

I wake her with a kiss. She wiggles her nose and bats her hands at me without opening her eyes. I wake her with a different sort of kiss, and she opens her eyes with surprise before shutting them again with bliss.

And that is enough to make a smirk slide on my face that I’m sure will never fade.

“What time is it?” Amy asks sleepily.

“Just an hour later,” I say, smiling.

“Mmm. More sleep. ” Amy nuzzles into my side.

“You need to go,” I say, even though this is the last thing I want to tell her. “Your parents are going to be looking for you. ”

Amy glares at me.

“Hey, don’t blame me,” I joke, throwing my hands up in mock protest. “You know your dad’s going to send out the entire military if he wakes up and realizes you’re not there. ”

Amy rolls her eyes, but she gets dressed quickly.

“Hey. ” I pull her close and kiss her again. “To remember me by,” I say softly.

She laughs, a musical sound. “Like I could forget. ”

And then she’s gone.

My mind drifts immediately to every worry that’s been plaguing me since Colonel Martin’s announcement.

Phydus.

Aliens.

War.

Amy.