Page 122 of Severed Heart (The Ravenhood Legacy #2)

Epilogue

T YLER

B LINK .

Russell pulls up in the King’s tow truck as my mangled hood comes into view. I clamp my hand over my mouth to conceal my lady-like gasp as fury lights in my veins. Zach eyes me from behind the windshield, where he sits in the passenger seat of the tow truck as Russell hops out and stalks toward me.

“Shit, brother,” Russell utters, reading my expression.

“You might want to take a breath before you ... do the daddy thing.”

“I’m good,” I lie, both shaken and furious. “He’s okay?”

“Yeah, he’s fine,” Russell assures, “he’s scared shitless but hiding it well.”

The passenger door closes and Zach comes into view behind Russell’s shoulder before he attempts to speed past the two of us to get to the house.

“Stop your feet, now ,” I snap. Zach barely acknowledges my order but obeys, stopping feet ahead of us.

“Annnnd, that’s my cue to leave,” Russell chuckles.

“Thanks for the heads-up, and for bringing him home,” I say.

“No problem, but damn does he have a set of balls on him,” Russell muses.

“Which haven’t yet fucking dropped,” I counter, knowing Zach can hear us.

“I’ll drop it off in the barn. Text you later, man,” Russell says before getting back into the tow truck. The sight of my mangled hood as he drives away brings actual stinging fucking tears to my eyes before I shift my gaze to scan Zach.

“Okay. You meant to hurt me, and I’m hurt, so mission accomplished, but you could have fucking killed yourself, kid. You can barely reach the fucking pedals, which is no doubt why you wrecked. What in the hell were you thinking?”

He stands mute, which is infuriating. The only thing I’m thankful for is that there’s no real fear in him. Maybe not enough.

“What is going on with you?” I ask. “I thought we were good.”

“I’ll pay for it,” he offers dryly.

“That’s a given. You’ll be working it off with double your chores and no Ranger for six months.”

His mouth pops open. “You can’t do that.”

“Want to make it a year? You’re delusional. You’re thirteen years old and drove my fucking classic forty minutes across town.”

“I was just riding,” he says in shit excuse. I cross my arms as he shakes his head. “Whatever.”

“Tell me what’s going on,” I say. Tell me why you’re so pissed at me.”

“I’m not.”

“And I’m a ballet dancer,” I utter dryly. “You can go all night bullshitting me, and I can play along, or you can simplify this for us both.”

“You didn’t let me say goodbye,” he snaps. “You didn’t let me say shit!”

I manage to stave off my flinch. “I apologized for that.”

“Fuck your apology,” he snaps. “You don’t get to apologize for things like that.”

“Watch your mouth,” I warn, palming my neck. “You need to back it up and speak to me with respect, right now.”

“Fine, sorry.”

“Sorry what?”

“Oh, fuck this, sorry, sir .” He stalks off. I’m instantly on his heels as he continually spouts off, “You’re not my dad... I don’t know why in the hell I’m here.”

“I told you why,” I counter, undeterred, “because I want you here, and I asked you to stay.”

“Because your girlfriend died,” he tosses over his shoulder, the blow landing as intended.

“Please don’t go there, not that low,” I utter hoarsely. At my tone, he stops and turns to me, his eyes watering as mine threaten to follow. “I did what I thought was best, and I’m sorry.”

“You could have let me talk to her on the phone,” he condemns, tears falling. The pain still fresh for us both. Her funeral barely a month ago.

“I’m sorry. I am,” I offer hoarsely, my eyes filling at the utter devastation in his face.

“I could have, should have put you on with her, but I was running out of time. I was so fucking sad, Zach, and maybe it was selfish, but she didn’t want you there.

She didn’t want you to see her go. But she loved you.

I miss her too. Every fucking day. So much. ”

“It isn’t your job to protect me. You’re not my father,” he repeats.

“Yeah, you keep saying that.” I swallow.

“Because it’s true.” He kicks at the dirt between us. “You’re not. I’m not your son, Tyler.”

“Do you want to be?” His eyes widen slightly as a pained gasp leaves him. “Because in my heart, that’s who you are to me now. What you’ve become. And what I want you to be.”

His face twists again as he releases a suppressed grunt. Tears shimmer in his eyes as I find the strength to fight for the first time since she passed. For us. For him.

“I love you, and I want you in my life. I want you here. With me.”

He openly cries now as I fist my hands at my sides. It’s then the clear image of the toddler wiggling in his mother’s arms comes to mind. As does the sound of the demand which accompanied the engrained image from a decade ago.

“Hole me.”

The burn in my throat mutes me briefly until the fight for him wins out.

“Zach, I’m losing my shit right now because I really want to pull you to me, to hug you.

Just tell me if you—” He launches himself at me, cutting me off, and I capture him in my arms, holding him for long seconds as his body shakes, his grief palpable.

I keep him tightly gripped, my whispers fueled by my heart. By the truth.

“You’re saving me,” I tell him honestly.

“You may think I did you a favor, but you’re saving me, Zach.

And all I want to do now is spend my life being your father.

I can’t promise to save you back because that’s a promise no one can make to another, but I promise you everything else a father can offer.

I’ll be there for you as long as I have breath in me.

You’re golden. You’re everything that’s good about my life now, and you were for her too. And God, how she loved you.”

He buckles as I keep him upright. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. You have to grow up and let go of my hand first, but I’m not letting go. That’s the promise I made her, and it belongs to you now .”

He sobs uncontrollably as I shield him from it all.

From the eyes that have shamed him. Playing barrier to the pain that has plagued him, never lessening my grip.

“I’m yours if you’ll have me. I’ll show up for you.

I promise. I swear it, I swear it. I love you, Zach, and I need you. I want you here. With me.”

His sobs come harder, and he clutches me tighter and breaks against me, with me, my own face soaked when he finally releases me.

“D-do you believe in G-God like she does?”

“I will never lie to you. Not ever, so I can’t bullshit you on something I’ve struggled with for years because of the things I’ve seen.

But when I looked at her, at you, I want to believe.

I want to because you both deserve a place like that.

I want to believe so badly she’s there. So for you, and for her, I’ll try. ”

He nods, his chest pumping with his cries.

Once he’s spent, I wordlessly follow him to his room and remain at his door until he falls into a fitful sleep.

I wake in the morning to see him sleeping on the floor next to me, his hand gripping my sheet at the side of my bed.

Bending, I lift him onto the mattress to lay next to me and stare at him until I’m lights out.

When we both wake, he turns to me and gives me my answer. And within a blink, I’m a father.

BLINK.

Glaring down at my brother where he lays in the hospital bed, I fight the anger and resentment threatening to destroy what’s left of us.

“You take for granted the breath in your body while I watched her struggle for every single one. She wanted those breaths because it meant having another day—with me. You want to line up with the rest of your family, go right on ahead, but I will not fucking be there to witness it if you don’t fight for your own breaths anymore.

They deserve better ... I deserve better.

So, if you give a fuck about me at all,” I plead with him for the last fucking time, “wake the fuck up! Wake the fuck up, T.”

BLINK.

Standing in my penguin suit, I wink at Zach, who tugs at the collar of his shirt where he sits in the first row, loosening his tie. Catching his eyes, I jerk my chin as we start our mental conversation exchange.

Not yet, kid.

It’s uncomfortable.

Deal with it.

Shit.

Manners.

Fine!

Love you.

You too.

I can even hear him grumbling it, and can’t help but smile with how far we’ve come. Shifting my focus on my brother, and the love shining in his eyes, I take in the moment, being there with him, for him, as my own ache surfaces in remembrance of the time I took similar vows.

“I, Sean, take you, Tessa, to be my lawfully wedded wife.”

BLINK.

Zach winds up on the mound as I palm Dad’s shoulder, my heart in my throat as we hold our collective breath. A heartbeat later, the ump calls it as we explode out of our seats.

BLINK.

Dad and I stare, standing side by side, dressed in our blues, as the shots are fired. Granddad’s picture standing nearby as the flag is folded.

BLINK.

My phone rings as I stand idly by the gas pump when my name is called. Turning, I see Layla holding her daughter, Lily, prompting her to wave to me just outside the station door. Grinning, I wave back as I answer.

“Hey man, long time.”

“I’ve got it on good authority that you’re being called up, buddy,” Beekman imparts, and I can hear the smile in his voice.

“No shit? Now?”

“Affirmative. I hope you have a realtor in DC.”

“I’m hoping you have one,” I retort absently, as it starts to sink in.

“Matter of fact, I do,” he boasts.

“I prefer to have one you haven’t jilted,” I quip.

“Oh, then you’re on your own.”

“Figures,” I jibe.

“Pack your bags, brother, and your kid, and let him know Uncle Beekman is picking you both up soon, secret agent man.”

BLINK.

Zach tosses his duffle into his truck, his gaze lingering on our DC house for long seconds as I rattle feet away. Glancing over to me, he easily reads my expression before pulling me to him. “Don’t worry, Dad,” his whisper reaches me. “I swear I’ve got this. You made sure of it. Love you.”