Page 92 of Severed Heart

General Half-Pint: Oh can hear this questin mark I’m so kick yuo in your asshloe

In my asshole? That sounds painful and yet intriguing.

General Half-Pint: Shut muoth Hurr y up I talk ng to the floor os to come to me

Okay, that text I didn’t understand. You’re talking to the floor?

General Half-Pint: Sory privit I my haze bad tonigt you at me tomorw batle

Got it. I’m sorry the haze is bad tonight. I’ll be there.

General Half-Pint: No wink fcae queston mar k

I always have a wink for you, General. How about two? ;) ;)

* * *

General Half-Pint: Solier Dom tell you came to my hosue an I wsa not here I sad

Yeah, I think I just missed you. You’re sad?

General Half-Pint: I mis you to nigt

You miss me, General?

General Half-Pint: wht, you not say you miss me fish budy question mar k

I always miss you, General.

Every fucking minute of every day I’m not with you. You looked so beautiful riding passenger yesterday, that sweaterdress, your gorgeous hair blowing in the breeze as you flashed me that fucking smile of yours. I thought I was going to lose my shit.

Backspace. Backspace. Backspace. Delete. Hold.

I can come back.

General Half-Pint: Plse come me now tmrrow to far way for good da y

Tomorrow is too far away?

General Half-Pint: Oui for goo d day with m y solder

If tomorrow is too far away from a good day with your soldier, then your soldier is on his way.

* * *

General Half-Pint: Jean stil l say me txet so bad /; tel l not txet him agn

I’m sorry. Your texting is improving a little.

General Half-Pint: Non no top dace arond trut h solder

Okay, not dancing around the truth. It’s still pretty bad. You still get your letters backward a lot and misspell a lot of words, but I understand every single text you send. So how about you only text me and call everyone else?

General Half-Pint: good battle plan

You just sent a perfect message, General. PERFECT.

General Half-Pint: Took sooooo lon g to write.