Page 2 of Severed Heart

ITURN THE DIALon the radio to find our favorite new Johnny Hallyday song when a woman’s voice soundsvery loudthrough the speakers, making me jump.“...le président Américain Reagan a été abattu devant un hôtel Hilton à Washington—” US President Reagan was shot in front of a Hilton in Washington—

I turn it down so it doesn’t wake Papa from his nap and jump when someone pounds on the front door. “Matiiiis!”

He says Papa’s name again like we do when we play hide and seek. “Matiiisss!”

I move toward the door when the latch catches and stop when I see the man with the burnt face staring at me through the gap on the other side. “Delphine, where is Matis?”

When I don’t answer him, he smiles at me with crooked teeth. I hate the burnt man. He always tries to touch me when Papa doesn’t look, and Papanever lookswhen he plays cards.

“Open the door, Delphine,” he orders before he smacks the woodhardto scare me. I push at the door to show him he doesn’t frighten me and to try to close it in his ugly face. “Go away, my papa is sleeping, and you’re going to wake him up!”

He laughs in a way that’s not funny and yells at me to open it. When I don’t, he disappears from the door, and I push it closed. Turning to get Papa, the burnt man kicks the door open, and it hits me in the back. Screaming, I fall to the floor. When the man reaches for me, I jump to my feet as Papa runs into the room and starts to wrestle him while shouting at me. “Delphine, to the barn!Go!”

I know I should follow his orders like his good soldier, but I see the shiny side of a knife in the burnt man’s hand and warn Papa instead.

“The ... barn, go!” Papa yells again, wrestling the burnt man for the knife as I look around for something to help him fight. Papa always tells me, ‘a man who doesn’t choose a side is a man in the way,’ and I’ll be in his way if I don’t choose his side and try to help him. When the burnt man smiles at Papa, pushing the knife closer to his throat, my tummy flips. “Don’t worry, Matis. By nightfall, she’ll be a woman.”

“Delphine, go!” Papa yells again the way he does when he’sreally madat me while he pushes the sharp side of the knife away from his neck. Turning to follow orders, I crash into another man and hear him curse. Looking up and up, my head starts to burn as water drips down the back of it to my neck. The man tilts his head as he stares down at me, and Papa screams at him not to touch me. When I look back at Papa, I watch him push the knife toward the burnt man’s throat before the man in front of me knocks me to the floor. My eyes go fuzzy, and I stop and wipe the water away with my hand so I can see. When Papa calls for me, I crawl toward his voice, but when I put my hand back on the floor, I see it’s not water in my eyes—it’sblood.

Feeling dizzy, I lay on the floor and try not to fall asleep as Papa and the second man shout at each other. Rolling on the carpet toward Papa’s voice, I stop when I see the burnt man’s open eyes staring back at me.

He’s dead.

Papa killed him.

I’m glad. He is not a good man. Papa said so. He said he plays cards with bad men to find out their secrets.

Looking back up at Papa as he stands from the floor, I see he’s very, very angry as the man he’s yelling at kicks me in the stomach. “It’s much too late, Matis. Your payment is due, and it’s time to collect.”

“The only thing you’re collecting today, you fucking pig, is your death, one I’m all too happy to give you,” Papa says through his teeth, his voice still very angry but very quiet. When Papa moves toward the man to deliver his death, I wonder if he’s going to punish me for not following his order to go to the barn. Maybe he is proud of me for fighting. Before I can ask him, I fall asleep.

* * *

“Wake up, little flower. Please don’t break my heart.Please,” he whispers, his hand on my cheek.

“Papa,” I call for him. “I can’t open my eyes.”

His breath tickles my nose as he does his tired sigh, like when I break a dish or dirty the carpet after playing in the creek.

“You can see, little flower. Open your eyes.”

I try hard and open them to see that Papa’s eyes are red and puffy. He’s been crying. I know because he cried for a long,longtime after Maman told us to ‘rot in our filthy life.’ I wasn’t sad when Maman left like Papa was. She was mean to me and sleptall the time.

Papa was the only one who would play with me. Brush my hair. Bring me toys. It was always Papa who read me stories and tucked me into bed.

“Papa.” I wipe at the little spot of blood on his cheek. “Did you hit your head, too?”

“No, little flower.” Papa closes his eyes and begins to cry. “Forgive me, Delphine.”

“Matis, if you want to save her from your fate, we have to leavenow.” The voice comes from a man standing at my bedroom door. I try to look at him, but Papa uses his finger to turn my face to his. The light from the chandelier hanging above him hurts my eyes. Papa gave it to me as a birthday present and told me all princesses have rooms with chandeliers. I told him that I wanted to be theprincebecause they got to fight. He laughed and laughed before promising not to bring me anything else for a princess and brought me a sword the next time he came back from playing cards—my sword! I should have gotten my sword when the burnt man came.

“Delphine, do you remember when I told you one day you would have to be a soldier?”

“Yes, I am ready!” I tell him, trying to sit up, but he keeps me in bed.

“Good. I need you to follow orders now and do exactly as I tell you, understand?”

“Yes, Papa.”