Page 18 of Seven Days with her Duke (Hearts of Whitmores #3)

CHAPTER 18

P istols. Great beastly gilded weapons, heavy in the hand and heavier on the heart.

Eleanor watched blankly as Nicholas and their friend, Lord Adrian, studied the pistols at the library desk. Apparently, the old family dueling pistols were usually locked away in one of the drawers. She had never known.

“Why don’t we go put you to bed?” Charlotte asked at her side.

Trying to think of words to put on her tongue was more work than Eleanor could sort out. Besides, she couldn’t stop looking at the guns. What nasty pieces of art they were. Why did someone make something so dangerous that beautiful?

That brought to mind Dominic, and she shuddered.

Nicholas silenced Adrian to gesture toward them. “You two shouldn’t be here,” he said stiffly. “Eleanor, you should rest. Today has been…”

Dreadful. Absolutely dreadful. Ghastly, even. Horrible and terrible and so very confusing.

They were home now, though Eleanor wasn’t entirely sure how she had made it here or how long she had been here. The four of them were settled in the corner of the library where she loved to read late at night with a rumbling fire and soft shawl. But whatever peace she used to find her was gone forever while her brother aimed a pistol at the air.

“All right,” Charlotte’s clipped tone announced. “We’ll go.”

Dominic had taken his leave before her, she recalled vaguely. He’d gone out a side door and then she and her brother had followed a short time later. They hadn’t wanted the stares, Nicholas had quietly told her. But she’d been too busy breathing in the familiar scent of Dominic.

Nicholas had said something about coming back early for business, saying Joanna had grown exasperated over his protectiveness. All he had wanted to see tonight was that Eleanor was enjoying herself. Then someone had pointed to the closet door, and he’d opened it.

Why did you have to open it?

Before coming home, their carriage had stopped at their friend’s house because Nicholas needed a second as well for the duel. Adrian hadn’t been able to leave without Charlotte, who insisted on being there for Eleanor.

And then Eleanor had followed the men into the library.

That had been a mistake. Perhaps she should have gone to bed, she supposed, considering how weak her legs felt. Her eyes were so tired though she couldn’t think of ever sleeping again. When Charlotte wrapped a comforting arm around her, Eleanor leaned on her heavily.

“Go on,” Nicholas called to them. “I shall see you in the morning.”

“You should still be prepared. Where are your papers?” Adrian said softly like he didn’t want to be heard.

Eleanor stiffened. She knew what he meant. Even as she let Charlotte lead her from the room, Eleanor understood that the will had to be prepared if someone was going to duel. Nicholas would need to see to her and his wife to make certain they would cared for. Some long lost cousin would take the title and he would do his best to protect them should his child not be the next duke.

A child. Good lord, Nicholas is supposed to be focusing on becoming a father, not preparing for a potential funeral. He cannot die without meeting his child. I could not have my niece or nephew living without knowing him.

“I think I’m going to be ill,” Eleanor managed to say faintly before Charlotte neatly directed her to a nearby vase in the hall.

Whatever she had consumed at the ball did not sit well with her at all. It took a few minutes for it to stop. Her cousin was kind enough to keep her hair from her face, rubbing gentle circles on her back while offering kind words.

Eleanor hoped she would feel better now but only felt worse. Her face must have shown it for Charlotte hastened her off to her bed chamber where she was given a warm batch and dressed for bed in moments. Soon, she was curled up in a ball under the blankets.

Sitting on the edge of her mattress, her cousin settled again to offering her comfort by rubbing her back. Eleanor appreciated it. And she despised it for it made her think of the other times people dared touch her.

Touch wasn’t a thing to do, not in London society. But Dominic always used to find ways to touch her. She thought of his smile and felt the nausea boiling her insides.

“I don’t want to feel this,” she whispered.

“I’m sorry,” Charlotte replied after hesitating. “It will go away soon. Everything will be better.”

Eleanor swallowed hard. “How?”

“I don’t know. But we’ll find our way through it. I won’t leave you, Eleanor. You’re not alone.”

Except that she was. No one understood. They didn’t know how Dominic called her darling. They didn’t know how he made her courageous and the way she let her infatuation win her over. No one would think she could have kissed Dominic first. And what a fool she was. Because of him, he was going to––

I cannot say it, not even think it.

The tension in her body eventually loosened and Charlotte’s calming words––comforting lies, nothing more––helped Eleanor to close her eyes at last. Her cousin eventually moved away, thinking her asleep.

For a short while, Eleanor thought she might very well sleep. It would be easier than thinking. Or feeling. But she couldn’t. She felt strung out and nothing more than a wraith of her former self. She couldn’t stop replaying the argument that had happened––it always looped backwards in her mind as she remembered Dominic’s kiss.

Her kiss. Her first kiss.

Although her body and soul were fraught with exhaustion, eventually Eleanor couldn’t stay abed any longer. She checked the time and saw with dread just how close it was to dawn. Less than an hour away.

Turning from her bed, she saw Charlotte curled up in the corner of her room on the chaise she liked to read on rainy afternoons. A duchess, her cousin looked at peace in her sleep.

Eleanor didn’t think she could ever sleep again, not if Dominic died because he would not marry her. It was ridiculous. Foolish. Was she so awful?

No, he had said all evening, it was him. She deserved better and that was why he would rather die than sentence her to living with his name. The man hadn’t even had the gall to ask her what she wanted. To see what she would be willing to live with.

Her hands balled into fists. What she couldn’t live with was knowing he could have lived if she did something about it. Nicholas might not have been able to persuade him, but she would have to do. She simply had to try harder.

The emotions welling up within her turned to bitter anger and frustration. Those pistols were nothing more than dusty antiques, and the men were too old to play dastardly games like this. She wouldn’t let them duel. She had to do something.

Not wanting to wake her cousin, Eleanor only took her slippers and a dressing gown with her on her way out. They would have to do.

Everyone in the household was abed. Soon, they would begin to rise, but not yet. The stable doors were locked but she knew where to find the keys and opened them with ease. It took a little longer to saddle a horse by herself since she was cold in the cool night air and her hands wouldn’t stop shaking.

Her horse whuffed in her hair, nudging her shoulder as though to ask if she was well.

“I’ll be fine,” she whispered in reply. “I only need you to get me there in time. We must hurry.”

There were only so many places to safely duel in the city. It was an outlawed practice, though men could still be foolish enough to imagine it necessary. Eleanor walked her horse out of the stables before talking him to a post so she could use that to jump into the saddle.

Neither Dominic nor Nicholas had specified which grounds they would use to duel this morning. She hesitated upon reaching the street, thinking. Had her brother and Adrian said something? Three spots came to mind.

And only one of them had Nicholas been to.

Her heart pounded as though to reassure her that was the place. She turned her horse in the other direction and took off, her hair streaming over her shoulders into the wind. Her eyes watered from the chill but they pressed on.

As they went, Eleanor recalled their older brother, Roger, scolding Nicholas once when they were both home from school for the summer. Roger had graduated. He was acting more like their father every day. That meant more scolding, which Nicholas only laughed at.

“What a foolhardy mistake you are making! No, I will not give you the family dueling pistols. You’re not going, either. I’ll lock you in your room if I must, Nicholas. What were you thinking?”

“I have to help. I already agreed to be his second,” Nicholas had said with a smile as though it was nothing more than jolly good fun. “It’ll be fine. No one will actually shoot each other.”

Roger had known the fight was lost but he had still tried. “One day that will not be the case, Nicholas. Even this duel could go wrong. Guns backfire and men change their minds. Is this really a risk you want to take? Are you ready for the consequences?”

Although Nicholas had been right, Eleanor had replayed the argument over and over in her mind. She had heard her brother’s words and understood the worry in his voice. Duels were too dangerous.

Across the streets she flew. The city was mostly quiet at a time like this. Folks would be eventually rising, ready to prepare their shops for the day in the streets. Smoke billowed from the factories. A few lights shined through the windows, but it was so quiet that she heard nothing but her heartbeat and the clacking of her horse’s hooves over the roads.

It wasn’t long before they made it to the edge of Hyde Park. Leading her horse further through the park, they reached the undeveloped woods that still lingered. There was talk about cultivating the land soon. They would miss this.

In the meantime, it allowed men to hide while they played with guns.

Eleanor prayed she had arrived in time. She barely dared to breathe while she led her horse about through the trees, eyes straining for any sign of movement. Dawn was right over the hills. There was a warm, welcoming glow that she wished she could hide if only to give her more time.

And then she saw them. Five or so men gathered together in a circle before they started to separate.

She would recognize Dominic’s build anywhere. Her brother, too.

“Stop!” Eleanor cried out with all her might. The sudden noise cracked through the clearing. Her horse reared in surprise, but she managed to stay in the saddle before making him tear forward.

Nicholas put out his hands. “Eleanor! What are you doing?”

Either she could run him over or she would have to stop. Ignoring his pale fury, she brought her horse to a halt and slid from the saddle. “I won’t let this happen,” she said. When he reached for her, Eleanor neatly evaded his grasp to make her way to Dominic. “You must see reason.”

He stood with his arms limp at his side. Already he had handed off the gun to his second, Quirmore, who looked at her uneasily and glanced about in concern. The man looked more uncomfortable than any one else here. Dominic merely looked… resigned.

He’s ready to die.

The realization made her stop in her tracks. Tears filled her eyes. Breathing hard, she needed a moment to catch her breath but the sight of him did something to her she could hardly comprehend. If she’d had anything else left in her stomach, Eleanor didn’t think she’d still have it in her.

Swallowing the bile, she forced herself to step forward. “You can’t do this, Your Grace.” she thought saying that it would reassure the others. But all she said was Dominic grimacing. So she amended it. “Dominic.”

He wouldn’t meet her gaze. “You shouldn’t be here.”

Eleanor lifted her chin. She could still see the pain etched in his features. “You shouldn’t, either. I don’t care what you want or what you think you deserve right now. This isn’t going to happen. I won’t let it. You don’t have to do this; there is another way.”

“No, darling, I can’t,” he tried to tell her. He stopped when she moved forward, and their eyes finally met. His lips remained parted but silent.

Someone muttered something behind them, but she paid no mind. When Dominic shifted uneasily, Eleanor forged on ahead. She still didn’t know what she was going to say. She hadn’t had time to think about it. And everyone was watching. They were listening. The thought made her skin crawl.

But this was Dominic, she told herself, and he had to listen to her right now. That was all that mattered.

“You would rather die than marry me?”

He glanced away.

“You told me earlier tonight,” she said without noting where this happened, “that you would not besmirch my name. You said you wouldn’t lie to me.” Dominic had the decency to flinch. “How can you think you are being chivalrous when you immediately refuse to keep your word to me? This isn’t about you. It’s not even about me. It’s no longer about what I deserve.”

He groaned. “Eleanor, please.”

Please what? Please let you die? Please let my brother, your friend, hurt you?

Wishing they didn’t have an audience, she moved through the dirt and rock and stone in her slippers. They would be forever ruined. She stepped on something that made her twist her ankle. Dominic caught her neatly at the elbow when she nearly collided.

“Careful,” he whispered.

She put a hand on her chest, knowing it was a sign. It had to be. Looking into his eyes, she wondered if it would be easier if she wasn’t infatuated. Because eventually those feelings would go away. Then what would she be left with?

Telling herself it didn’t matter, she asked Dominic, “What will it take to change your mind? You are an honorable man. I know you are.”

The words made him close his eyes. “It’s not enough for you. All the money in the world isn’t enough. I don’t have anything for you, Eleanor. I don’t have a warm home or useful talents or even a heart for you.”

“A heart?” her voice wavered and she hated herself for it.

Dominic’s eyes opened. It was like seeing the sun start to go out, all soft and golden and sad. “I cannot love you.”

The words hurt. She thought she had expected something like this. But it still hurt for him to look her in the eye and say that to her. A shuddering breath escaped her. Needing a moment to collect her thoughts, Eleanor licked her lips and finally nodded.

“Fine. Don’t love me. But you will marry me because you will not risk your own skin and leave me unprotected is the coward’s way out. Stop thinking of yourself for a minute. After your apologies tonight… I would take those lies and the devil I know first. I will marry you and I will not expect your heart or a warm house or one ounce of your heart.”

“Eleanor,” he started.

Shaking her head, she carried on. “I ask for nothing but your protection. I beg you, Dominic. We can have a marriage without expectation. Give me a house and I’ll never talk to you again. Or you can have me stay with Nicholas and Joanna. It doesn’t matter. I’ll not ask you for a thing. No requests or demands or obligations. I won’t even ask for your fidelity. The only thing I want…”

“What is it?” Dominic asked, dropping his head in defeat.

“I want you to spare yourself.” He jerked up. “And I want you to spare me from further scandal. I remember what you said in that linen closet. I want you to keep your word to me.”

As Eleanor spoke, she looked at him long and hard. She tried to keep her voice even. And with her eyes, she tried to tell him that she needed this. She needed him. Even if it was only a name. A marriage certificate. His ring. She just needed him alive. Even if it was far away, she could not see him gone. She couldn’t let the duel happen. It would destroy her more than it would destroy him.

A shaky sigh escaped her as Dominic reluctantly nodded. He couldn’t look her in the eye. She saw his lips move more than she heard him speak.

“Fine. We’ll marry.”