Page 37 of Semi Sweet (Working For Love #1)

D an seemed thoroughly pleased when Sean and I signed a written agreement that we would resume renting the first floor of his home. He gave Sean the keys and they discussed how Sean was going to own his own bakery in the very distant future.

“Well, it’s not official yet,” Sean corrected. “I’ve only just given my deposit, but the realtor said there are no other applications.”

“Let me know what you need. As you know, I am quite the handyman.” He pocketed the paperwork. “Should I expect you guys tonight?”

Sean shared a glance with me. I didn’t want to offend Sean’s parents, but I’d longed for how things had been in Denver.

I’d been able to let my guard down. There were so many things I wanted to say and do, but I didn’t want to risk his parents interrupting.

We were adults, but it still felt wrong to think about it in his parents house.

I nodded once to show him I wasn’t against the decision.

“I think so,” Sean answered. “I know you’ve got everything set up to show it still. We can clean it up for you.”

Dan shook his head. “Don’t worry about that. Get settled and we can sort it out later.”

I got the feeling I was going to get along just fine with my new landlord.

After telling Dan we were going on a hike nearby and we’d probably see him later, Sean, Bear, and I drove a few miles and parked in a lot with looming peaks in the distance.

I wondered how close the nearest mountains for skiing were, though it was way too warm for snow.

Sean clipped a leash to Bear’s collar and we set out, picking a moderate trail that would take us to a smaller, much closer peak than the ones always in the distance of the ski town.

“You know what I just realized?” Sean said about half a mile into our trek.

“What?”

“I have to meet with at least one Quittero to tender my resignation.”

I cringed at the thought. I wished there was a better way for him to get out of that hell company.

“They can’t be that mad at you. You are opening your own business. You could tell them you wouldn’t have been able to do it without all your years of experience working at Cash Value Market.”

Sean pretended to vomit. “You are good at making things up.”

“I mean, you could tell them what you really think about them, but I’d caution against that.”

I found myself feeling a bit heavy and drained at the thought of Sean facing the Quitteros.

Tomorrow was Sunday. He’d be heading back to Denver soon.

For a good part of the hike, we talked about the best stores in Aspen to get what we needed for an apartment.

Sean explained I had to go a bit off the beaten track to avoid tourist trap prices.

We made plans to pick up some groceries and things before he had to head back.

We were going to see what we needed to do about me borrowing his Saab while he was away, as well.

“It feels dumb to even say this, but I’m going to anyway. Stay away from the chalet store,” Sean warned. “I don’t think you’ll see Evan, but you never know when they’ll diamond walk it.”

“I am not going to miss that.”

“Neither am I.”

A while later, we reached our final destination, the top of a small peak from where the town looked picturesque and tiny.

There was an observation deck where several people were using coin-operated binoculars or taking photos.

I decided to follow suit, whipping out my phone and asking a nearby hiker to take our photo.

I smiled down at it after the person returned my phone to me.

“You think you’re going to forget me or something?” Sean asked.

“Not anymore.” I flashed him a grin as I showed him the picture. “I’ve got a photo.”

I thought about what Mrs. Mizuno had said about all the outstanding things in my life. There was one left. I just had to decide what to do about it.

“Would you be okay if we just stayed roommates?” I asked.

Sean looked surprised at the question. We were far away from anyone else on the observation deck so that no one would necessarily overhear.

“I mean, I would be disappointed since you know, we’ve been kissing lately, but I know you’ve been through a lot. I would respect your decision.” I could see that his face was betraying him. He looked like his heart was breaking.

“Would you be okay if we were more than friends?”

“Aren’t we already more than friends?" His eyes grew wide. “Are you messing with me? Because whatever you are doing, it’s kind of freaking me out.”

I was trying to get out what I was feeling, but I was failing horribly. Honesty. I reminded myself. You’ve got to be honest to get where you need to be.

“I don’t want you to go back to Denver without discussing what you mean to me. You need to know what I want.”

Sean looked around the observation deck, watching families and solo hikers alike mill around and come and go.

He grabbed my hand and all but dragged me and Bear down the trail to a side path that led to an unoccupied animal observation area.

We stood and faced the view for several moments of awkward silence before Sean finally spoke.

“Now that we have a bit of privacy, you think you might want to tell me what’s on your mind?”

“Sean Mizuno, you have given me a second chance in life. You provided me freedom and as much as I want to not rely on someone else in this reinvention of myself, I cannot lose you. That would be the second biggest mistake of my life.”

“What’s the biggest mistake of your life?” he asked.

“Not knowing when to leave a toxic situation,” I answered. “I still wouldn’t know if it wasn’t for you.” I exhaled, trying once more to collect my thoughts.

“I already told you I’m willing to wait until you are ready.”

“I know and I appreciate you trying to do the right thing, but I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you, and I’m not going to know for sure until we cut this prim and proper bullshit."

Sean looked shocked as he took in my words. Eventually he cleared his throat. "Are…are you saying…” He looked around to make sure no one was coming. “...I have permission to no longer be a gentleman?”

I nodded as I wet my dry lips. “You aren’t allowed to hold back.”

I wasn’t surprised when he began to power walk back towards the main trail, not saying anything for several minutes. I wished I could read his thoughts as Bear trotted along beside him. We were heading back towards the SUV when he turned on his heel and loomed over me.

“I have a condition.”

That wasn’t exactly what I thought he was going to say, but I humored him. “I’m listening.”

“If we take this to the next level, I need to know that this is what you really want. This isn’t your way of thanking me for all of this or feeling obligated in any way. I have made it this long without getting any and I can survive, though begrudgingly, a while longer.”

“I can get vulgar if you need me to,” I replied. “I want this.”

Sean was back to pulling me down the trail and when we finally got to the otherwise empty parking lot, he shoved me against the SUV, kissing me as Bear wrapped his leash around our legs.

I could not remember the last time I was actually looking forward to being intimate with someone.

My body ached as Sean pressed his lips to mine.

“No one is around,” he hissed into my ear once he finally broke the kiss.

“You really want the first time we have sex to be sneakily by your rental car while you have to hold onto your dog so he doesn’t run off?”

“I like a challenge,” Sean said hopefully. When I gave him a look he added, “I’m really excited and I’m not thinking straight.”

This time I nodded and kissed him before I ducked past him and around the car to the passenger side door.

Convinced we were going to run down a pedestrian or get pulled over for a speeding ticket, I held onto the handle above the door as Sean frantically drove back to the apartment.

Would it be weird if Dan came out to help us?

Maybe he’d assume we got stuff for me to live here the next few weeks and would want to help bring it in.

Sean pulled onto the cul de sac and I saw him punch the air excitedly as he must have noticed something the same time I did. The red sedan Dan usually had parked in the driveway was missing.

“Thin floorboards,” he explained as he parked the SUV on the street.

We opened the gate and headed to the back door. I went through first, trying to decide if the bedroom was where I wanted things to go down or if I was too impatient and would settle for the couch, the floor, even.

Bear, who must have realized he was home for the first time in forever, whined excitedly and tried to jump on Sean as he shut the slider behind him.

“Bear,” he said sternly. “Bear, go lie down.”

When the dog totally ignored his owner, I made the executive decision to put a door between us and Bear.

“Which room is yours?” I asked.

Sean was in my wake. “First one on the right.”

Bear plodded along beside us and Sean had to use his leg to prevent the dog from following us into the room before he shut the door behind him. He wiggled his eyebrows at me before I closed the space between us.

We fumbled with our clothes, laughing as we pulled off our shirts and kicked off our shoes.

I found I wasn’t struggling with the clasps of my bra or the waistband of my leggings because I was nervous, but because I was trying to take them off as quickly as I could.

Would this have been what happened in an alternate universe, one where I hadn’t been with Evan at the time of the disco masquerade?

Sean smirked down at me as he took in my body. I met his gaze, but not before learning what he looked like, too.

“It’s not too late,” he said softly. “To say no, to run out of here screaming. Just giving you the option.”

“You haven’t thought about what it would be like?” I asked him.

“Seriously? I’m a guy.”

I put my arms around his neck. “I’m not going anywhere.”

We went on autopilot. We didn’t speak, but we knew what the other one needed.

We kissed, backing up until my legs hit the bed and we tumbled onto it.

Sean climbed on top of me, his lips grazing my neck, shoulders, and breasts while I raked my hands through his hair, trying to kiss him back with as much fervor.

The lower he touched with his hands or his lips, the more I was convinced I’d done myself a disservice by staying with Evan as long as I had.

I was probably going to embarrass myself before Sean thrust a single time.

Sure enough, all he had to do was put a hand on my inner thigh and I became a quivering pile of nerves.

Sean picked his head up to raise an eyebrow at me.

“Don’t let me stop you,” I panted.

Should I grab onto the sheets now or wait until we were actually in the thick of things? I felt him move his fingers until they finally slipped inside me and I was a mess again. As he slid them in and out of me, I moaned. I vowed I was going to return the favor.

I tried to sit up, grabbing onto his arms and reaching for any bit of bare skin I hadn’t touched yet, but he gently pushed me back onto the mattress. He moved so he could lean over and kiss my lips again.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t you say you were giving yourself to me?” he murmured softly. When I nodded with my eyes shut, he continued. “Let me have my fun. How can you make a decision without enjoying everything there is to offer?”

This time I screamed when it wasn’t his fingers, but his mouth between my legs.

***

Eventually he relented, and I was able to have my retaliation.

I tried things I hadn’t done in years as well as things I’d never done with anyone before.

I touched him and tasted him, surprised by my confidence and forwardness.

Was this my sign? It wasn’t awkward. There was a natural give and take.

I thought about how I’d been holding back for so long, trying to do the ‘right thing.’ I’d thoroughly decided as I heard him groan and swear that I should have given in a long time ago, or at least as soon as I was free of Evan’s clutches.

“Everyone still having fun?” Sean asked when it seemed we’d both done everything to each other besides the act itself.

I nodded, pulse still racing. This was it. The point of no return.

“How are we doing this?” I asked.

“Ladies’ choice.”

Almost laughing out loud because I’d never been given that luxury before.

I requested he lie on his back as I straddled him, a leg bent on either side of his body.

I leaned over, grabbing his face gently as I kissed him.

I savored the moment, trying to recall every detail of the room, his face, and as I pulled away, his russet eyes–the same eyes I’d gotten momentarily lost in the day I crashed into him at Cash Value Market.

How weird to think about where I was now.

I shut my eyes as I lowered myself down slowly, my exhale barely audible as I focused on the feeling. I felt Sean grasp my hips and knew there was nothing to regret.

***

“Just so you know, I was totally going to try something if we hadn’t had that talk on the trail,” Sean explained in the shower later.

I’d never shared a shower with another person before. Someone had once told me it was overrated, but currently, I was pleased. My body was a little languid, but I figured holding onto Sean would keep me upright.

“Oh, really?” I asked him.

I wasn’t sure I believed him. He had been so adamant about waiting and being a gentleman.

“Schedule dependent, I may not see you for a month,” he replied. “I still would have made sure you really wanted it, but how could I leave without trying?”

“Do you think Beth will take one look at you and know we finally, you know?” I made fun of how I had described it to him in the karaoke bar that night.

Sean rolled his eyes. “Oh God, probably.” Then he looked guilty. “But I’m not sure if I’ll spill the tea. Not my MO.”

I realized he was admitting he had heard them that day after the disco masquerade. “You jerk.”

“That’s not what you were saying earlier,” he said coolly. “You know, when I got you to climax...twice.”

Realizing that I had no leg to stand on, I heaved a sigh. “You really have to go, don’t you?”

“I do.” He sounded equally as sad. “But I’ll be back.”

“As my roommate?” I asked.

“As your boyfriend,” Sean corrected. “I hope.”

I beamed at him. “As my boyfriend. Definitely.”