Page 16 of Semi Sweet (Working For Love #1)

H e didn't answer me. Instead, he guided me deeper into the crowd on the dance floor. Even though the song was a fast tempo, he brought his arms to the small of my back and we moved to our own time, separate from the wild rager that was happening around us. I was so close to finding out who was standing before me. All I had to do was reach up and take off his mask and the mystery would be solved. I slid the hand I’d placed by the back of his neck up towards his face.

The song changed. It was another ABBA hit and the crowd around us surged. I was ripped away from my mysterious dance partner, a group circle dance forming where I’d just been standing.

"No!" I wailed, trying to fight against hands that were trying to get me to join in.

It was the first time all night that the alcohol was no longer making me feel happy-go-lucky and confident.

What did black-out drunk feel like? I could see the party and have an inner monologue, but I felt like I was on an amusement park ride.

Go home. My brain told me. Get on the train before you pass out and Evan has to come home early.

I could only imagine the reprimand I'd receive.

Probably something about how I represented the Quitteros while they were away and how embarrassed my behavior had made them.

I told myself I didn't care what they thought, but Evan scolding me typically made me cry. Avoiding that would probably be wise.

At least I'd gotten to speak and even dance with whoever my mystery person was.

It wasn't a prank. He was a full-fledged, tangible man.

That still didn't stop me from being gloomy as I pried myself free, waved goodbye to Beth and Max, and walked to the train station.

I peeled the mask from my face. I still had no idea who he was.

I had no department or name, just the fact he was tall and seemed familiar, but goddamn it if I could place him.

I made it about a block before I decided to ditch my shoes.

I figured road rash was better than breaking my ankle.

I held them by the straps and was debating stalking store employees on social media to see if I could find any other clues when I saw something out of the corner of my eye.

Sitting on a bench, looking very pensive, was my mystery man.

Or at least I thought it was. He wore the same dark jeans, shirt, and cheap black mask.

When he saw me, his smile was broad and disarming. The five shots were still working.

"I didn't think I'd get to see you again." He gestured to me standing before him. "I'm happy to be wrong."

I knew he was alluding to our dance being broken up. Had it frustrated him, too? I was already missing the way it felt when he held me close. It was wrong and I knew that, but it didn't change my feelings.

"Please." I was standing in front of him now. Close, mere centimeters between us. "Tell me who you are."

He stood up, so close I could feel the denim of his jeans rubbing against my bare legs. It was the first time I'd really noticed how much taller than me he was. The top of my head ended at his chin.

"I'm a coworker," he said as if he were explaining the obvious.

You should walk away now. You should go home and sleep this off.

I tried, but I couldn't break my gaze from his.

I hoped to recognize his dark eyes. which were hard to see under the streetlights.

I had definitely heard his voice before.

I willed my inebriated brain to remember.

My secret admirer was even closer to me, if possible, his chest brushing against mine and he was leaning his head closer to my own.

I could hear my heart smashing against my ribcage.

"I want to kiss you," he murmured, his lips millimeters away.

I should have screamed or pushed him away.

Common sense should have told me anyone from Cash Value Market could walk by and see this.

This was not what people in relationships did.

I had no inhibitions because the relationship I was in wasn’t healthy.

It wasn't even happy, just dysfunctional.

I had to know if I could have feelings for someone else.

I had to know if this mystery person excited me or if it was just the thrill of the mystery.

"I want you to kiss me."

He leaned in, accepting my offer. The kiss was soft.

It made me shut my eyes so I could savor it.

I couldn't explain it. All this corresponding and guessing and waking up and needing to know what was happening was all culminating to this moment.

Even as a teenage girl, I never felt a fire in my heart over someone that had never touched me until this moment.

Maybe it had started off being about the mystery, but now it was more, so much more.

The mystery man must not have expected me to react so positively, because when I kissed him back he went into a frenzy.

He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me deeper and deeper until he pulled away, breathing heavily as he brushed his thumbs against my cheeks.

I was surprised by the feeling of his skin against mine, surprised at my own labored breaths as we locked eyes.

There was laughter in the distance. I took a few steps back when people in domino masks and disco clothing staggered by.

They didn't even acknowledge us as they made their way to the train station.

Once out of earshot, the man said, "You can go if you want."

I knew he was right. The evening had been eventful enough, but I couldn't do it. "I don't want to. Not yet."

There was a bus stop shelter beside the bench. Normally it would keep people out of the cold and rain, but with its large advertisements plastered on its glass, it provided some privacy. At least until someone came looking for the bus. He grabbed my hand and guided me towards the small space.

He leaned towards me again. "Tell me to stop and I will."

Tell him you love Evan. Tell him that this is wrong.

I tried to picture my fiancé's face, but all that was there were pictures of what the man currently standing before me probably looked like behind his mask.

Furthermore, I wasn't really sure what I felt for Evan anymore or what I thought love was in general. I struggled with the idea of someone I’d been with for years causing me pain while a stranger made me feel alive for the first time I could remember.

I knew I would be back to being despondent in the morning and I'd feel worse in five days when Evan returned from his trip, but right now I was caught in this moment. I didn't want the euphoria to end.

I went as high on my toes as my body would allow and turned my head so I was the one hovering just below his lips.

I shut my eyes and whispered, "I won't."

He almost growled at my response, smashing his lips to mine.

I heard the hair pins that had held my updo together ping to the pavement as his fingers raked through my hair.

I grabbed onto the collar of his shirt, mostly to keep myself upright and on this planet.

Otherwise, I thought I would float away and lose myself completely.

It felt like he was literally taking my breath away.

The man drew back and looked at me as if to gauge whether I was coherent and consenting. I couldn't make myself any taller but I tried. I couldn't reach his mouth, so I pressed my lips to his collarbone and neck. I felt the muscles in his neck go taut as his vocal chords rumbled against my lips.

"Please," he hissed as he pressed my body against the plexiglass wall, returning the gesture, kissing my body and making me shiver. "You are making me lose my head." His voice was hoarse. "Don't you know how controlled I usually am?"

I didn't know, I had no idea what made him tick or act out of character.

I didn't know if he'd indulged in five shots like I had.

I pulled his face back down to mine, kissing him so hard I probably bruised his lips.

He stopped trying to talk, and we became tongues and hands groping each other through thin layers of clothing.

I wondered how far this was going to go and when I'd have to make that call, overwhelmed and exhilarated by everything.

I never got the chance to make the choice, because suddenly it was like a different person was standing before me. The masked man jumped back and rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand. His breathing was so heavy, it almost sounded like he was wheezing.

"It's late." He seemed like he was convincing himself more than me. "And you're too drunk."

I tried to catch my breath, but I felt off balance, like he had been the only reason I was still standing.

He ran his hands through his short brown hair. "What line do you ride?"

It took me a few seconds to process that he was asking about the train. "Green."

He outstretched his hand. "Come on."

"Are you inviting yourself back to my place?" I asked.

Was it bad that I was picturing myself continuing what I started with this guy on the bed I shared with Evan, something we hadn't done in ages? Well, maybe if he took his mask off. God, maybe he was right. I was too drunk.

He shook his head as if telling me no and shaking the equally dirty thoughts out of his head at the same time. "No," he admitted. "I would be a horrible person if I left you like this."

I laced my fingers with his as I staggered towards the bus station.

I wanted to pinch myself. Here I had hoped that maybe I'd meet my secret admirer and I'd gotten a night I'd never forget.

I peered over at him. Even though his face was still partially covered, he seemed a mixture of pleased and in disbelief over how the night had gone as well.

When he noticed me staring at him, he cleared his throat. "Are you with it enough to remember your stop?"

I nodded. "It's Oakland."

When we got to the station, I was relieved that no one from Cash Value Market was waiting for the train.

I wasn't sure how long we'd been hooking up.

Maybe the party was still raging on. I suddenly realized it was even later than I would ride the train home from grad school.

Knowing how it was on a good day, I was worried it might be unbearable tonight.

People were forward when I was sober, so I could only imagine what they'd be like when I was just short of falling over.

When the train finally pulled into the station, the man carefully guided me over the gap and into a few free seats.

I noticed he sat beside me but left room to spare.

Not enough for someone else to sit, but enough that a creep wouldn't think we were together.

Based on the people in the car with us, this was not a good idea.

"Can I ask you something?"

The man beside me replied with a nod. "Of course."

"Can I lean on you? Creepy people ride this train at night."

Once more, he nodded. Relieved, I placed my head on his shoulder. I thought of how Evan would never do this for me. The scowl that wanted to form on my face never appeared because my train companion put an arm around my waist, making it clear we were together.

I heaved a content sigh. "Can I ask you another question?"

"I guess."

God, I swore I heard a voice like his say those exact words once, but I was starting to feel exhausted. "Are you ever going to tell me about the cupcakes?” I shut my eyes, picturing all the ones on my Semi Sweet page.

"Yes," he answered. "Just not tonight."

I didn't like that answer. "You suck," I grumbled back.

We rode the next few stops in silence. I kept my eyes shut, not falling asleep, but feeling calm and serene for once. Eventually, my masked coworker was gently rousing me, getting me to sit upright.

"Come on, it's your stop."

Sure enough, the chimes rang and the conductor announced that we had arrived at Oakland. Soon, I was holding hands with him again and walking towards my house off of Bremer and Elm when something dawned on me.

"What line do you take to get home?"

"Blue."

I blanched. "Blue? That's completely across the city."

The man nodded. "That's correct."

We'd finally made it to my house. We were on the sidewalk outside of my front stoop. This was it. The night was finally coming to an end.

"Why are you like this?" I blurted. "How are you able to make me feel things I thought I didn't need?"

My secret admirer merely smiled at me. "Good night, Olivia."

"No!" I nearly yelled. "Please, if you can't tell me your name, at least give me your department. Something."

He handed me the shoes he had been caring for me and helped me get onto the stoop. "Good night, Olivia," he said again.

Knowing I was fighting a losing battle, I watched him walk off my steps and back towards the train station. I let myself in and locked the door behind me, still feeling a bit drunk and stimulated by the whole thing.

"Long hot shower," I said, dropping my keys and shoes.

"Or maybe smutty fanfiction, then a long hot shower.

" I still felt the residual effects of what happened in the bus stop shelter.

Was that passion? Had I ever been kissed like that before?

The more I tried to think about it, had I ever been so bold before?

With each step, I felt myself becoming heavier. I got to the point where I was trying to crawl down my hallway, and there was no way I’d make it to the bathroom, let alone my office for my laptop.

"Sleep is good,” I said groggily. "Sleep works, too."