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CHAPTER TWO

ELSIE

I smile as I watch my twins, Ruthie and Ricky, banter back and forth while eating their breakfast. They are my world, my reason for starting this new life that took me so long to see was needed.

Over the past year, we have been finding ourselves again. The kids now laugh loudly when they think something is funny. They are no longer afraid to ask for something they want.

It makes my heart so bloody happy to see them happy. But it also hurts my heart to admit it took me so long to get them away from my ex-husband. Can you call your dead husband an ex?

For nine years, my babies had to put up with Nigel’s temper. He never laid a hand on them, but rather, they were never allowed to be nine-year-old kids. However, over the last year they have flourished.

Ricky is handling things better than Ruthie, who still has nightmares from time to time, but she puts on a brave face and moves on with her day. My babies are older than their years and that is my fault.

When Adele, her man Kink, and the Royal Bastards MC helped us, my heart was full of gratitude. They took us away from a life no person should have to live through. No one has the right to put their hand on another unless it is to defend themselves.

I try not to think of the club because I always end up thinking about him. Solo, aka Kane Huskins.

That man is the size of a rugby player and then some. His tan skin that covers his bulging muscles is covered in intricate tattoos, along with some that he has blocked out on his forearms.

When he would smile at me, my body would react in ways it never had before, and that alone scared me. Sex with Nigel was something of a necessity—anything to get him to leave me alone for a little while. I never orgasmed with him; only myself when he was gone from the house.

He hated me having any pleasure or joy.

“Mum, do you know where my PE kit is?” Ricky asks as he climbs off his chair.

“It’s in the basket. I pulled it off the line yesterday.”

“Awesome.” He runs to collect his things.

I look to Ruthie, who is writing things down on a piece of paper.

“What have you got there, sweetheart?”

She stops writing and looks up at me with a worried expression on her face. Leaning forward, I rest my hand on her arms, soothing her.

“Hey, there is no wrong in this house, right?”

She nods. “It’s homework from my teacher. She told us we had to write a little something about someone who means so much to us.”

“Can I read?” I nod to the paper.

Ruthie slides it over to me then jumps up and follows her brother.

My Someone

My mum is my someone.

She is strong.

She is pretty.

She loves me and my brother.

My mummy is the best person in the world. She will stamp on a spider if we get scared and read us a book if we have a nightmare.

My mum makes us laugh, and she makes the best cookies ever.

That is why my mum is my someone.

P.S: Also, Solo is all of our special someone.

I finish reading and swipe away the tears running down my cheeks. My babies are so strong. I will make sure that every day, they get to be themselves. They will never be told that they cannot do anything ever again.

The kids come back into the room. Ruthie looks unsure, until I smile at her and pull her into my arms, then Ricky.

“You both are my people. My special someones. I love you both.”

“Eww, enough of this mushy stuff, Mum. I’m a man now. I’m ten, remember.”

I kiss his hair, chuckling, then ruffle the strands. He dodges my touch and steps away, picking up his backpack.

“I remember. Come on, let’s get you both to school. I have a job to get to.” I lock up the house and we head to my car, and the kids climb into their booster seats. They hate them, but it’s the law right now.

The hairs on the back of my neck come alive, and I snap my gaze around the area in front of my house. I have a feeling I’m being watched. When I don’t see anyone, I close the gap between the house and the car and get in quickly, locking the doors from the inside.

As I pull away from the house, I keep checking to see if anyone is following us. It has been over a year since I have got the feeling of being watched; the feeling that someone is out to get me. Being with Nigel had me on edge twenty-four-seven; it never stopped as I never knew what behaviour he was going to show.

“Mum, don’t forget that I’m going to Odetta’s house after school,” Ruthie calls out to me, pulling me from the past.

“I know. Her mum messaged me last night when you were in bed. I will pick you up around six, okay?”

She nods. “Thanks, Mum.”

“Can I go over Lewis’ house? Can you ask his mum at school?” Ricky asks me.

Smiling, I stop at a red light and look in the rear-view mirror at my babies.

“Some would say that my kids don’t want to spend time with me,” I tease, making them giggle.

That sound does wonders for my broken heart. Hearing them laughing and joking around like ten-year-old kids makes leaving all the more worth it. I just wish I’d had the balls to do it sooner.

After dropping the kids off at school, I talk with Lewis’ mother and she agrees to take Ricky after school. I offer to have Lewis over one day on the weekend, as I don’t work those two days.

Arriving at my job, I park my car then walk into work, waving to some of the girls who work similar shifts to me. Working here at a popular supermarket gives me the opportunity to mingle and find new friends. After being with a controlling husband for so long, I lost all of my friendships.

My shift starts easy. I help out the back with unloading stock then I move on to restocking shelves. Suddenly, the hair on my neck stands on end again. I slowly look around the aisle but see no one I know. No one is paying me any attention, but I still get the creepy feeling that someone is here.

Moving on to the next section, I bend over to collect a box, when my hair is grabbed from behind and lips touch my ear.

“Where the fuck is my brother, you bitch?”

The stale smell of beer fills my senses, making me want to gag. My body is tight with fear and tension.

“He left,” I manage to whimper.

I hate that I am being made to fall back into the behaviours I displayed with my ex-husband. He and his brother liked to spread fear amongst women for their own gain.

In my mind, they are not men.

They do not deserve the title.

“He wouldn’t leave without telling me. Me and my brother are close. I know you had help from that fucking club.”

I flinch at his mention of the club. I haven’t seen any of them since I left with the kids, even though they are only twenty minutes away from where I now live. I text Adele and Una but that is the extent of things.

“They have done something to Nigel. Now where the fuck is he?”

“I don’t know. Please, let me go. Nigel left me. He told me he’d had enough of being with someone as weak as me,” I plead.

His grip tightens on my hair, making me cry out.

“Shut it, bitch,” he snarls. “He was always too good for you and those bastard kids.”

My blood freezes at the mention of my children. Alan and his family have never liked being around us. They said I trapped Nigel when I got pregnant with twins, and that he would have had a great career if not for me. That man never worked a day in his life. I was ill while pregnant, and I worked up until I was thirty-six weeks pregnant because he refused to help. He wasn’t even there when they were born; he was at a rugby match with his family.

“I will find out where my brother is, and I swear to fuck, if he is hurt, or worse , I will come for you and those brats. I’ll make you bleed like the stuffed pig you are and will have those little piglets squealing in pain.”

He pushes me forward, and I barely have time to stop myself from face-planting the metal shelf. My body shakes with fear as I watch him walk away. He doesn’t look back, thankfully.

My cheeks are wet from crying. My body feels tired and shaky as I dry my face. Calming myself, I smooth down my uniform.

A thought suddenly occurs to me, and I look to the security camera that’s focused on this very aisle. I wonder why no one came to help me.

Alan must have got to someone who works here. He’s a snake in long grass, always hiding behind his loan shark boss. He must have had help getting to me.

I walk to the back of the store and into the staff room to gather myself. Splashing cold water on my face, I think over what my life has been like for the last few years. It has been filled with fear, coldness, and lonely times, even with the kids with me.

Breathing in deeply, I calm my rapidly beating heart and correct my make-up, before walking back to the floor to finish my job.

Pushing all thoughts of Nigel and Alan out of my head, I pray that he will forget about me. My hopes are dashed a few days later, leaving me no choice but to go and ask for help.