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Madison

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Three weeks ago, my life took a one-hundred-and-eighty-degree turn.

We are living in the new house, and my sister has been transferred to a hospital in Manhattan. In a few days, I will meet the neurosurgeon who took over her case.

Today, however, what is making me nervous is the social worker's visit.

I swallowed my pride and let Zeus buy everything the kids would need for their room. Their dorm looks like a dream. Right now, they are fed and bathed. So we wait for the witch.

“I'm so nervous,” Eleanor says.

"Me too, but I have faith that everything will work out."

I ended up having to postpone the appointment with the lawyer because my stepmother had a cold that day, and now he won't be able to see me for a few weeks because he's traveling.

"The employment contract, where is it?" she asks.

“On top of the kitchen counter. Please calm down. It's making me anxious."

The babies, noticing our tension, begin a chorus of whimpers.

"No, loves. Everything will be fine. Auntie won't let the bad witch take you."

The doorbell rings, and my pulse quickens.

Now is the moment of truth; I'll find out whether that creature will finally leave us alone.

Forty-five minutes later, the social worker still hasn't left, and I'm on the verge of screaming in frustration.

She can't help but think that I've done very wrong things to get a house like this. Guilt makes me feel bad, because despite what Zeus and I have, our relationship started out as a negotiation for my body.

"And what do you even do in that assistant job of yours?"

“You've asked me that three times already. Perhaps I should have taken my lawyer's advice and allowed him to be present during this visit," I bluff.

"Lawyer?"

"Yes, as I told you, the company where I work provides a team of lawyers for the employees."

God, where did I get that? My father would be proud of a lie told with such conviction.

The fact is that fear acts differently in me than in most people. Instead of running, I attack.

“I think it's okay for now, but I should be back in a few weeks," says the social worker.

"Feel free to. I will notify my lawyer, and I think that if he is present, he will be able to answer your questions better, since he understands laws. " I emphasize the last part.

She still asks for a glass of water, and I know it's to inspect the kitchen, the only place she hasn't been yet.

Eleanor shakes like a leaf, and I'm sure I hate Mirtes Prates.

"Thank God!" My mother hugs me when she leaves.

“There's something wrong with that woman, Mom. I'm not a lawyer, but these visits from her can't be normal. Did you see the disappointment on her face? If she was really worried about the babies, she should have been happy that we moved, but I could have sworn she looked annoyed.”

“Regardless of what she said, I think you should meet with that lawyer Zeus spoke of, Madison. At least so we're prepared in case she invents any more questions."

"I will, but now I must go."

"Where? I thought it was your day off."

“I want to visit Brooklyn and then?—"

“Go find your Greek."

I was about to leave, but I stop. “I'm scared to death of what I feel for him, Mom."

"Love?"

"I don't know if it's love. We've only known each other for a short time, but I think I've fallen in love. I promised myself it wouldn't happen, but I couldn't fight it. He's so intense. It demands everything from me, and I want to give it. How stupid do I have to be for my first love to be someone so unattainable?

“We don't choose whom we love, Madison, or I never would have married your father.”

It's the first time she's said something like that to me, and I don't know how to answer because my father never really deserved her.

“If it's any consolation, you were the best thing that ever happened to me and my sister, Mom. We didn't know what a real home was until you came to live with us.”

"It was because of you two that I never left him. The passion I felt for him in the beginning died quickly, but my love for you never has.”

I go to where she is and hug her. “I need to vent because I'm so confused, but please don't judge me until you hear the whole story.”

I tell her my entire short story with Zeus, from the day I danced for him by mistake until I proposed to be his sugar baby and how he now insists on terminating the contract. Obviously, I omit the racy details because she would have a heart attack, but I think in the end she gets the context.

"It started as a sexual attraction and now you're in love," she says when I’m finished.

"I think I am. As for him, he’s probably had many relationships like ours. When we first met, he told me that he quickly tired of his past female companions, and yet he insists on having more and more of me."

“I don't know what to say, Madison. There is no correct answer in this case. You are at a fork in the road. You can stick with the contract and keep it business—which sounds awful to me, I'm sorry to say, because emotions and bodies, in my opinion, should never be negotiated—or you can give in and see what happens."

I lower my head and look down at my hands. “As I told him, the situation with the social worker gave me the perfect excuse to get together with him. I wanted him from the first moment, but I was afraid of being a toy in his hands. I'm still afraid."

“And to boot, the contract gave you a safety net, right?"

"What?"

“The contract was how you convinced yourself that what you're doing is part of a deal. If he lets you down, you can pretend you don't care, since it's just business."

"I hadn't thought of it from that angle."

"The problem with the way you act is that you can lie to everyone else but not to yourself. If he hurts you, you will suffer, even if you scream to the whole world that you don't give a damn."

"I don’t know what to do. When the subject of the contract comes up, I feel like a mercenary."

“Follow your heart, daughter. I think by now Zeus has shown that he's not messing around with you, and even if the relationship has no future, at least you've experienced it. The other alternative—hiding forever from love—is not healthy. One day you will look back and regret what you didn't do. Even to cry, we need to create good memories."