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Chapter eighteen

When Stars Strike

Ayla

To prevent my magic from discharging accidentally, I had to learn to emit it on purpose. It made perfect sense, in theory.

I glanced down at my glowing hand and the pitch black rock trapped within. Beside me, Ninti sat down on her haunches, her gaze not straying from the stone.

Judging from the tether, Zayne was now deep within the vault, but the knowledge didn’t stop me from impatiently searching the death gate some distance from us. I couldn’t wait until he returned and ended this embarrassing lesson.

We’d been staring at the damned rock for ages now, but despite my best attempts to fill it with light, the rock remained dark. So did my hand.

“Are you sure this will work?” I asked her.

“Not exactly,” she admitted. “But…”

I nodded. If this didn’t work, I didn’t know who could teach me beyond someone in the Starlit Court.

Whomever my father was, he must have been one of the countless courtiers who had traveled south, drawn to the sheer thrill of traveling beyond magic.

Before the Collapse, many fae had done just that.

If I felt up to the challenge, maybe I could determine the top contenders for my father’s identity, especially now that I was certain he was from the Starlit Court.

It wouldn’t be too hard. Countless Valterran courtiers had long ago placed their bets on my paternity, and while I could ask Rhett for his shortlist… I didn’t want to know. Not really.

My father had never stepped forward, never claimed me.

Regardless.

My magic was getting harder to control. Last night, secured in Zayne’s shadows, losing control hadn’t mattered. But anywhere else, especially somewhere like Mer…

I needed control of my powers.

And as uncomfortable as it was, my magic responded positively to the Starlit King’s. The same way his starlit box had drawn me closer, like calling to like, his magic recognized mine, and if anyone was to understand my magic well enough to show me how to wield it, it would be the Starlit King.

On some level, the lessons didn’t strike me as an entirely bad idea. It’s why I’d run last night, insisting we leave. The moment the Starlit King offered his help, promising that he could help me learn to regulate my magic, a fraction of me had been tempted.

Like now. When I couldn’t summon a wisp of starlight.

Even Ninti’s well meaning advice was starting to feel fatigued, like we both knew there was something missing. If I felt threatened or excited, my light was unstoppable, but now, when I tried to expel it intentionally, it evaded me.

Unfortunately, that didn’t stop the magic from building within me. Filling me up.

I had been thinking about light, drawing it in for so long that I was now like a dam ready to burst, the power pent-up inside of me. The longer I tried to shift the light from my hand in to the rock with nothing happening, the more the pent-up magic roiled in my stomach.

Nauseated, I shook my head and lowered to the ground, setting the rock to the side. “The power is trapped inside me now.” My vision swam.

Ninti picked up a smaller rock with her mouth and brought it back to me. “Let’s try something smaller.”

“It’s not working!” I squeezed my eyes shut. “The more I try, the sicker I feel. Everything’s jumbled and agitated. I need… something different.” I took another deep breath. “I need to take a break.”

All my life, I had wanted fae magic, believing it would finally make me happy. I had wanted to meet my firewolf, believing she could solve all my problems.

Now… Ugh.

I leaned forward onto my hands and knees, swallowing down the urge to vomit. Negotiating with my magic felt like swimming under a waterfall.

Ninti nuzzled my shoulder, her fire sickeningly hot. “Take all the time you need.”

“Thank you.” I breathed, just breathed, praying something would take away the turmoil within me.

Magic wasn’t nearly as intuitive as I had hoped. When I had trained as a soldier, at least I had instructors who knew what they were doing. And now…

We were doing the best we could.

“You’ve never taught someone how to use their magic before, have you?” I asked, hoping conversation could distract me from the nausea.

“My previous companion had grown up in the Isles, yes.”

“So I’d guess that, unlike me, he eased into his magic from childhood.”

She nodded sadly. “Yes.”

Does she regret choosing me?

The thought aggravated the ache in my stomach.

Sighing, I leaned back, stretching out my forearms. “How does your power work, anyhow?”

“Actually—” her ears tucked back in embarrassment “—I can’t use magic, not really.”

“I thought you strengthened the Shadow Throne.”

She shook her head. “Exactly, I gave power to something that was already there—I didn’t make anything new.

Deity magic is different than fae magic.

Yes, I can move raw power from myself into another, but I can’t shape any of it.

When you lifted Zayne from the underworld, I fueled your effort, but you created the pathway. ”

I gaped at her. “So you’re dependent upon someone else using their magic first?”

“Unless I’m trying to shift my form or raise my fire, yes.

” Proving her point, the firewolf grew even bigger, towering over me before returning to her wolf size.

“Maybe I can’t help you use your magic because I…

can’t. And that’s my job , isn’t it? To be your companion, to help you? ” She looked away.

Eager to soothe her fears, I fought the urge to pet her. She wasn’t a normal dog. But seeing me hesitate, she leaned closer, tilting her head in invitation. I began to scratch the space behind her ear. “I need you, Ninti. You’ve always been there for me, long before we could speak.”

“You were a very precocious child,” she mused. “Always up to mischief.”

“But you warned me whenever that mischief went too far.” I looked away nervously. “It’s not just you. I worry you think I’m a terrible companion too.”

She laughed, her fur brushing against my cheek. “Ayla, I never wanted anyone else. You’re far too much fun, mischief and all.”

“What does it really mean that we’re companions?”

She shrugged. “It means Leo approves of you. Beyond that? We’re whatever we make it.”

“I like that.” My doubt subsided, replaced with renewed curiosity. I sat a little taller. “So tell me more about your first companion, what powers did he have? Maybe we can learn something that’ll help me.”

Ninti quirked her head. “He grew up fae, as you guessed. He had Dawn powers, the gift for creation.”

“So if he crafted a vision, you could give him the power to complete it.”

Ninti nodded. “Exactly.”

Despite her assurances, jealousy gnawed at me again. Ninti had been so well matched to her last companion, but now, she had me.

“It wasn’t always easy with Coran,” the firewolf added.

“Coran,” I mused, recalling that name. “He’s mentioned in a few songs, right? Lord Coran of Dawn, carry the banner south. Plant it in Teyr’s ash, break the world in two. ”

Ninti smiled as I softly sung the words. “It’s close to the truth. He wasn’t a lord though—at least amongst the fae. He became one on Valterra, though.”

My stomach sank. By that time, Ninti had left with Leo. “Will you leave me too? Once Leo says so?”

“If she has her way, yes.”

“I see.” I met her big green eyes and leaned closer, my forehead meeting hers. It felt wonderful, the brush of her fur, everything a reminder that she trusted me. I still didn’t really understand the nature of my relationship with Ninti, and I wasn’t sure I ever could.

“As for me…” Ninti continued. “I’m tired of watching the world from afar. Ayla, you’ve given me a way to be part of the Isles, and this time is invaluable. So long as you keep that ruby safe, you’re giving me the chance to live. ”

I smiled, remembering the way she had prowled around the stronghold, and now, exploring Mer with Rimu at her side. She seemed so alive, so excited and thrilled to be part of the world.

I couldn’t risk anyone hurting her—I had to protect the ruby, and that meant understanding my magic. With a fresh wave of determination, I reached for the smaller stone. “Let’s try again.”

Ninti wagged her tail. “Actually, I have an idea. What if you drew power from me? I have learned a few tricks for shaping magic, in theory, so maybe if you’re connected to me, I could help you shape the magic.”

“Great!” I was ready to try anything.

She turned around, showing me her back. “It’s easiest if we’re touching.”

Obedient, I wrapped the fingers of one hand into her fur while holding the stone with the other. Steadying, I took several calming breaths before once again, reaching for my starlight. Already, it was a smoother journey than before, my mind calmed by Ninti’s reassuring presence.

Meanwhile, Ninti’s magic reached for me, threads of power reaching from her body. I accepted, binding us together in the effort.

I gripped the stone. Light , I told it.

All at once, power rushed through me, connecting me to a source that gripped me in return.

The stone flared with light.

Thrill lit in my chest.

It’s working.

I could feel Ninti’s assistance. She oriented me, directing my power. Bound to her, what had been a pool of trapped starlight became a steady beam that poured from my hand and into the stone.

Only, it didn’t stop.

And I couldn’t let go.

More light entered the stone.

It couldn’t take anything more.

Bursting, the stone exploded.

Dust plumed in the air, filling my lungs. I began to cough, my lungs burning with the acrid combination of heat and grime. I let Ninti go, but even as I broke contact, the threads binding us refused to part.

Overwhelmed, I pressed my hands into the earth.

Still, power flowed.

And flowed.

And flowed.

It won’t stop.

My chest burned, each breath tasting of thunderstorms. My arms began to shake, and still, I drew more power. It rose from the stars, from Ninti. Everything flooded my body, reducing me to a mere conduit as I poured the power back into the earth.

Ninti sagged, her body growing limp. My heart raced at the sight, and even as I watched her eyes close, I failed to stop the endless stream of power.

The stones around me crackled with strain.

The earth buckled but did not break.

I resisted. I fought.

My vision blurred with tears.

I don’t know how to stop this.

Any semblance of control Ninti had offered was insignificant compared to the well of power forcing its way through me. I was trying to control a river with a pipe.

With a harsh snap, the earth fissured, opening before me. The crag grew. Deeper. Wider.

Zayne… He was trapped below the earth.

“Please stop,” I begged my magic.

My vision tunneled, my gaze locked upon Ninti, her flames dull, her fur ash gray. The heat grew unbearable, each breath like fire as I crawled forward, squinting at the horizon.

There, a figure appeared.

I’m hallucinating.

Her feet were cast in shadows, her face the color of the setting sun. She was wrapped in a robe of purple twilight. A deity.

The isle herself, Dusk.

“Child of Starlight,” she said, her voice haunting as the wind. “This once, I will help, but do not make a habit of it. It would disrespect me.”

I barely understood, except that when I next exhaled, a stream of starlight fell with my breath. The grip of my magic became a little lighter, a little less terrifying.

“That’s good. Again.”

Under her guidance, I repeated the process, my power loosening breath by breath. My power slowly separated from Ninti.

Dusk watched, standing ramrod straight as I exhaled one final time. My connection to Ninti fell away, and I collapsed at her side, my vision too blurry to check her breath.

“Will Ninti be okay?” I asked, the world tunneling.

“After all this time, the firewolf still hasn’t learned her limits.” The deity scoffed. She glanced at me a final time. “This once, I helped, but for the sake of the Isles, you must learn to control your power.”

She vanished.