Page 36

Chapter

Thirty-Six

Tivek

“ D o all ships hide Drexian wine on board?” Morgan asked as she passed the pouch back to me, our fingers brushing in the exchange.

“Not all. We were lucky.” I’d found a few of the pouches tucked in the back of the supply cabinet, and we’d decided to open one of them. The wine wasn't the finest Drex had to offer, but it was potent enough to make the nervousness in her eyes fade.

I took a sip and let the tangy liquid cool my throat and warm my belly. The wine was doing an admirable job of making me feel less worried about our odds.

Morgan leaned back against the wall, her legs stretched out so that they almost reached mine. “Tell me what it's really like being a Shadow. Not the recruitment speech version."

I hesitated. Years of secrecy were difficult to overcome, even now.

“We’re stuck out here with little hope of being found unless we can get communications back up,” she reminded me with a playful nudge of her foot. "You might as well spill.”

It was hard to argue with that logic or deny her anything since it was my fault she was there. "What would you like to know?"

"Your most dangerous mission," she said immediately, eyes sparkling. "The one where you were absolutely sure you wouldn't make it out."

I took another sip of wine, considering. There were so many to choose from, each with its own particular flavor of peril. "There was the time I had to jump from a tower window into a storming sea.”

Her eyes widened. "How high?"

"High enough that I wasn't certain if the impact would kill me before I drowned," I admitted. "It was on Kronock-occupied Veridian. I'd been discovered accessing their command center, and the only exit was, well, down."

"What happened?" she asked, drawing her knees up to her chest, fully engaged.

"I had to swim deep enough that their arrows couldn't reach me," I continued, the memory vivid even after all these years.

"The pressure at that depth was immense.

My lungs felt like they were collapsing.

I swam for what felt like ages before I dared surface, only to find myself far from shore in a violent storm. "

Morgan shook her head in disbelief. "How did you get back?"

"I didn't, not directly. I was picked up by a fishing vessel three days later, half-dead and severely dehydrated. Luckily, the Veridian fisherman was eager to help anyone working against his oppressors, and the intelligence I'd gathered helped us wrest control from the Kronock.”

Her expression softened. "And no one outside the Shadows ever knew."

"That's the nature of our work," I said simply.

"What else?" She leaned forward. “I want to hear more."

I thought for a moment. "There was a mission on Praxis Four, a trading hub known for its... flexible morality. I had to infiltrate a pleasure house to locate a traitor selling military secrets."

Morgan's eyebrows shot up. "A pleasure house? As a client?"

"As staff," I corrected, feeling heat in my cheeks that had nothing to do with the wine. "They were suspicious of new clients, but always in need of workers."

Her eyes bugged out. “You posed as a prostitute?”

"Not exactly. More as an attendant. I was draped in layers of fabric with my face covered, serving drinks and monitoring conversations. The anonymity of the role was perfect for surveillance."

“You posed as a female attendant?”

I twitched one shoulder. “There were no male attendants.”

Morgan put a hand over her mouth as is to stifle her giggles. "I'm trying to picture you in flowing robes, serving drinks to handsy patrons."

"It required a different set of skills than my usual assignments," I admitted dryly. "Though I did have to incapacitate a particularly aggressive client who thought my 'no' was negotiable."

She shook her head as her laughter faded. "Is it hard? Having all your bravery be secret?"

The question caught me off guard.

"Sometimes," I confessed, staring at the wine pouch in my hands.

"There have been moments, especially after particularly difficult missions, that I've questioned my choice.

" I looked up at her. "But then I remind myself why the Shadows exist. Some work is too sensitive, too dangerous to be acknowledged. "

“It must be hard. Does anyone but Zoran know? I’m assuming your brother doesn’t.”

I shook my head. "No one in my family knows. It's one of the reasons I've stayed away for so long." I tried to keep the bitterness from my voice but wasn't entirely successful. "They believe I washed out of the Academy, that I'm the Admiral's glorified assistant."

"That's total BS,” Morgan said fiercely. "It's not fair for the Shadows to ruin your life like that."

Her defense of me, so immediate and passionate, triggered a flutter in my chest. "My life isn't ruined. If I hadn't joined the Shadows, I wouldn't have been assigned to the Admiral as cover. I wouldn't be here now—with you."

The words hung between us, honest in a way I rarely allowed myself to be. Morgan's eyes widened slightly, a pretty pink flush spreading across her cheeks.

She set aside the wine pouch. “Well, I think you should get some reward for your unknown heroics.”

Before I could respond, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine. The kiss was gentle at first, almost tentative, before deepening into something more insistent. Her hands came up to touch my face, her touch sending electricity skittering across my skin.

When she pulled back, she was smiling. But not her usual shy smile. She stood and tugged me up alongside her.

"Come on,” she said, her voice low.

"Where are we going?" I asked, though I was already following.

Morgan didn't answer, simply led me toward the back of the ship, her fingers intertwined with mine. A voice in the back of my mind whispered that this was unwise, that attachments were dangerous, that I shouldn't give in to desire.

But another voice reminded me of our reality. We were floating in unknown space, possibly never to be found. Why deny ourselves?

Morgan pulled me into the med bay, the sterile white surfaces a stark contrast to the glossy black of the rest of the ship. She hopped up onto the examination platform, and before I could think about what we were doing, she fisted the front of my uniform and pulled me into another kiss.

Her legs wrapped around my waist, eliminating any space between us. I could taste the wine on her lips and feel the rapid beat of her heart where my chest pressed against hers.

I'd spent my life in control of every part of myself.

It was what made me an effective Shadow.

But now, with Morgan's hands sliding beneath my uniform, with her lips tracing a path along my jaw, that control was slipping through my fingers like Hullurian sand.

And for once, I didn't try to rein it back in.

Instead, I let my hands slide up her sides, feeling the warmth of her body through the fabric of her uniform. I let myself get lost in the sweet scent of her and in the small sounds she made when my hands raked through her loose hair.

I broke our kiss, panting as I pulled back enough to see her face. “Are you sure, Morgan?” Years of training made it impossible for me to proceed without explicit confirmation, even now.

Morgan's eyes were dark with desire. "I'm sure, Tiv. For once in my life, I'm not overthinking this." She tugged me closer again. "Are you sure?”

I answered by capturing her lips with mine and giving myself completely to the moment. As Morgan's hands began deftly unfastening my uniform, I found myself thinking that surrendering might be the most freedom I'd ever known.