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Carter’s eyes were gritty and his throat was sore as he pushed his breakfast around his plate the next morning. Sleep had eluded him, as had conversation or activity of any kind after Indy drove off the station. Ethan had called him despondent, but he didn’t care. He had zero cares left to give.

‘Dude, are you going to eat that or just play with it?’ Ethan asked before shovelling in another mouthful of bacon.

Carter put his fork down, guilt swirling as he stared at the mountain of food. ‘I’m not hungry.’

‘You’ll need energy for whatever fresh hell they have prepared for us today.’ Ethan nudged him but he didn’t move. ‘Indy would want you to eat.’

He raised a brow at his friend. ‘Seriously? You’re going with that?’

‘Thought it was worth a shot. Nothing else seems to work.’ A throat cleared and the two of them looked up into Jonathan’s stern face.

‘Can I have a word, Carter?’

He stood and followed his stepfather from the dining hall to the side verandah. A fresh wave of pain hit him as he stared out through the trees that masked Indy’s cabin. Her old cabin.

‘I thought you’d want to know that Ray’s gone back to Sydney.

When we found the watch he’d poorly hidden, he had a breakdown.

Admitted to setting Indy up after he saw you kissing her on the field the afternoon she rejected him,’ Jonathan said, coming to stand at the rail with him.

‘Ray’s meeting with the CEO today and I think we’ll be looking for a new assistant coach by lunch.

Framing Indy, an innocent girl, for the hit his ego took is unacceptable. ’

A bitterness lined Carter throat. ‘So you’re calling her Indy now?’

‘Son—’

‘“Innocent girl” is a far cry from “gold-digging cougar”.’

‘Carter, I’m sorry. I was just worried about your future and what being with someone like Indy would mean for your reputation when it’s already under fire. I realise now that my concern may have come across as confrontational.’

Carter rolled his eyes. ‘You’re only saying that because she’s gone.

’ He turned to face Jonathan. ‘She’s the first woman I’ve felt anything for, and she ended things when I didn’t want her to.

Do you want to know why she walked away?

Because of judgement from people like you.

She is the best person I know, and you made her think she’s something that she’s not. ’

Jonathan’s face went blank. He opened his mouth, but Carter didn’t want to hear what he had to say and walked away.

After changing his shoes, Carter headed for the field, where an outdoor weights session was in full swing.

‘Grab a plate and join the line,’ a trainer told him.

Picking up a thirty-kilo plate, he slipped between Ethan and Isaac.

‘You’re really in the mood to punish yourself, aren’t you?’ Ethan said quietly.

‘Lunge!’

Carter positioned his feet and lifted the plate above his head as he sank into the lunge. He wobbled, his calves protesting, and his shoulders not hesitating to let him know how much they disagreed with the position.

‘Look who turned up to join us today, men,’ Beau called from down the line. ‘Special treatment for the lying whistleblower.’

‘Cut it out, Beau,’ Isaac ordered. ‘You sound jealous.’

‘Change legs,’ the trainer yelled. ‘Do not lower those weights.’

Carter stood straight, but the relief was brief as he placed the other leg forwards and sank down again. He stared straight ahead.

‘Maybe I am jealous, Stringer. Hendrix seems pretty invincible to me. First Aaron, then Ray. Who’s next? Watch your back, captain. It could be you.’

‘You have no idea what you’re talking about, Beau.’ Carter threw the weight to the ground and went for Beau, rage taking him over. All around them, boys were dropping their weights and jumping towards the pair. Arms grabbed at Carter, holding him back.

‘You keep hiding behind that!’ Beau roared. ‘If what you think is so different to what Aaron said, then tell us.’

Blood pounded in Carter’s ears as his memory took him back to that night. Beau wanted to know? Fine.

‘I walked into what I thought was an empty bathroom to find Aaron pressing Nyssa to the wall with his arms across her throat. She was scared. She couldn’t fucking breathe and was close to passing out.

’ He pushed harder against the men holding him back.

‘The truth is I didn’t hesitate to tackle him and make a statement.

He would’ve killed her! He almost did, and you’re telling me I got it wrong?

That you wouldn’t do the same? That says more about the type of man you are than who I am. ’

Beau’s face blanched and his fierce gaze searched Carter’s for any sign that he was lying.

He could search all he wanted because he’d be coming up empty.

‘Aaron had an anger problem, that’s all,’ Beau said.

‘An anger problem? Are you fucking serious? We were all at that table when he didn’t get the award and made a fool of himself by standing up early.

If he had an anger problem, why didn’t he take it out on one of us ?

Or the idiot on the table next to us who laughed at him?

Why didn’t he snap right there and then?

Why didn’t he strangle the guy who won it?

Or the announcer? Fuck, why didn’t he go for the CEO of the NRL?

‘Aaron didn’t have an anger problem. He held onto his anger and used Nyssa as a punching bag because he thought he had a right to.’

Carter stopped pressing forwards and the boys around him loosened their grip. He stared around at them. Most were shocked. Some seemed thoughtful, as they considered what he was saying. Isaac was one of them. Ethan met his gaze with intense solidarity and Carter stood taller.

Beau’s face was still screwed up with anger. ‘It doesn’t change the fact that you broke the brotherhood of the club. You turned on your own teammate and gave a statement to the police. Aaron should’ve been able to trust you.’

‘And I should’ve been able to trust him and the type of man he was.’

‘You ruined his life, Hendrix! He can’t play football, he can’t go near Nyssa, and he’s lost his sponsors.

He’s got a criminal record! He has to report in weekly to a probation o?cer and has all these conditions that, if he breaks them, he’ll go to jail.

You did this to him with your statement. You ruined his life.’

Carter stared at Beau. Did he really see it that way? Did Aaron really blame him for all of that too? How could they be so blind?

‘Beau, none of that would’ve happened if Aaron hadn’t beaten and strangled Nyssa. I wouldn’t have had to make the statement. It all started with him choosing to hurt her.’

‘Easy for you to say. You won your award,’ Dodds called out from beside Beau.

Carter stopped short of rolling his eyes.

Isaac stepped forwards. ‘We’ve all copped disappointment in our careers and we haven’t blamed anyone else for it. This is on Aaron, not Carter.’

Heads started nodding in agreement, but Beau still didn’t look convinced. His jaw was locked tight.

Carter pushed past the boys between them and stood squarely in front of him.

‘What if it was your sister, Beau? What if you were me and walked into that bathroom to find Aaron strangling her? The fight in her running out because he was stopping her from breathing? Would you really have not stopped him? Not made a statement to the police to stop him from ever doing it again? Is that what you would’ve wanted me to do if it was your sister instead of Nyssa?

Closed the door and let him keep going?’

‘It wasn’t my sister.’

‘But Nyssa is someone’s sister,’ Carter shot back. ‘Someone’s daughter, friend, aunt. What if it’d been one of your nieces, Dodds? Or your daughter, Gilly?’ He paused, letting the idea sit. ‘What would you have wanted me to do in that instance?’

Stunned silence fell over the team. No one answered. The image of Indy, his mum or his own sister, Piper, in Nyssa’s place spurred Carter on.

‘It doesn’t even matter that it wasn’t a woman related to any of us.

Nyssa is a person. A human who deserves to be treated with respect.

And Aaron was hurting another human. Not doing something is the same as clapping him on the back and telling him to keep going.

The standard you walk past is the standard you accept, and I do not and will not accept that from any of you.

Shame on you if you would. None of you have the right to play this game if you think you have the right to use violence or control over your partner. ’

He couldn’t stand there anymore. The anger in him was rising again. With one last look at the group, he turned on his heel and stalked off.

Carter gave up thinking and let his feet carry him.

The image of the coaching staff standing on the outskirts of the group, most of them watching with shocked expressions, and Jonathan standing there with his arms crossed, fuelled him.

Not one of them tried to stop him. He launched into a jog just in case, though.

Taking the gully track, he glanced down the row of cabins, looking for Indy’s, only it wasn’t hers anymore. He ran faster.

His pace didn’t slow until he broke through the trees at the bottom of the slope.

The creek glistened between the boulders, the water rushing over the stones.

A lullaby. Birds sang to each other and insects buzzed in the bush.

He sat down on the closest rock and shut his eyes against the tears that were building.

Everything was crashing down around him at a rate so quick, he had no chance of catching up let alone getting in front.