Page 26

Indy lay across Carter’s chest, breathing heavily.

He chuckled, pulling the blanket from the back of the couch over them. ‘We didn’t even make it to the bedroom.’

‘I’m not moving,’ Indy said, over the sound of his heart beating in her ear. ‘You can’t make me.’

His chest bounced with amusement, but there was no sound this time. The fan ticked away overhead, and the beginning of raindrops bounced against the tin roof. A curlew bird cried out in the distance and the call sent a shiver over Indy. She snuggled in closer to Carter.

‘Can I ask you something?’ he asked.

‘You just did.’

He shifted slightly on the couch. They were still intertwined but she wasn’t so much on top of him anymore. She could look into his face with ease but the thoughtfulness in his eyes had her radar up.

‘What’s Indy short for? It’s Indiana, isn’t it?’

She grinned, not expecting this, and shook her head. ‘Indigo. Apparently, my dad had a younger sister named Violet, but she died before I was born. My mum didn’t want me to be named after her, but Dad wanted to pay homage to her somehow.’

‘Indigo,’ he repeated, slowly, as if trying it out. ‘It’s pretty. Do you have any siblings?’

‘No, it’s just me.’ Where was he going with these questions? ‘Anything else you want to know?’

‘There is actually.’ He paused. ‘Who’s Bonnie?’

Indy stiffened involuntarily. Bonnie. She’d known this was coming but when it hadn’t last night, she’d dared to hope that he’d forgotten her slip of the tongue on the cliff face.

Bonnie’s name bubbled in her throat. Did she want to tell him?

Maybe it was time to stop holding all her secrets so closely to her chest.

‘Bonnie was my best friend.’

He folded the arm that wasn’t holding her behind his head and urged her to continue with his eyes.

‘I met her on the streets; she was part of my family of screw-ups. We clicked instantly, you know? We were the same age and didn’t have any siblings so we’d tell everyone we were sisters.

Twins, because we loved the same bands and wore the same clothes.

Fraternal twins, of course. Our favourite thing to do was sneak into the community pool after hours, float on our backs and stare at the stars.

We’d talk about everything. The department hadn’t gotten their hands on her but her mum was too far gone to notice when she came and went.

I stayed there sometimes but Bonnie’s mum had this creepy boyfriend who liked to watch us too much.

We preferred to stay with another friend who had his own place.

We had this unwritten rule to watch out for each other.

At least we did, until I came to Windale. ’

‘What happened to her when you came here?’

The familiar ache of grief spread through her chest. ‘Do you remember in the shed, when I said I always figured I could walk back to Denarlie?’

Carter nodded.

‘I gave this property three weeks and hated it. Emery wasn’t here yet, and the other girls had their own things going on.

I was so sick of working with dumb sheep that didn’t listen to me.

I was on the countdown to a month, thinking that was enough time for Sarge to wipe me off his most wanted list … ’

‘But?’

‘But the day before I’d decided to walk, Sarge rocks up with the news that Bonnie was dead.’

His grip tightened around her. Indy barely felt it as she was transported back to that day and the devastation.

‘How?’ Carter’s voice was so distant, like an echo.

Indy inhaled deeply. Knowing how her best friend had spent her final hours haunted her.

‘She’d been at a party and taken a bad cocktail of drugs that included a roofie.

After she passed out …’ Her voice caught in her throat.

Bonnie would’ve been so scared. ‘A-After she passed out, she was raped and beaten. They injected her with so much frank—’ Indy stopped.

The expression Carter wore spoke of his confusion.

‘Um, frank is a street term for GHB—it crashed her system. An overdose. As if that would cover up what they did to her.’ She screwed her eyes closed as they filled with tears. ‘They threw her out with the trash.’

Carter crushed her to his chest as the tears slipped out. She allowed the image of Bonnie, her fun, bubbly and daring best friend, to appear in her mind.

‘I’m so sorry, Indy,’ Carter said, his voice soft. ‘Did they find the person who did it?’

She nodded against him and cleared her throat. ‘People. Two guys in their late twenties who had previous charges for sexual assault and drug possession. The news articles are still on the net.’

‘That’s so fucked, Indy. You must miss her so much.’

‘I wasn’t there for her.’ Her voice sounded weird, even to her own ears. ‘We made a pact and I didn’t keep my end of the deal. I should’ve been there for her.’

Carter’s head jerked. ‘I get the guilt over that, but it doesn’t mean those men wouldn’t have done it if you’d been there. It could’ve been you, or both of you.’

‘You don’t think I know that? I’ve been to thousands of parties like the one she was at, taken shit without knowing what it was or even who was giving it to me. Woken up in beds I don’t remember getting into.’

‘Indy—’

‘No, Carter.’ She sat up, pulling out of his embrace.

‘This is where I come from. I’m sorry if it’s hard to hear, but it’s my past and I can’t go back to rewrite it.

I warned you. This is my reality and another reason whatever this is between us can’t get out.

You don’t need to be tarnished with my brush. ’

Carter scooted up so his back was pressed against the arm of the couch.

‘It’s your past, Indy. Yeah, it’s hard to hear, but only because I care about you.

I’m not asking you to rewrite it, I’m saying that’s not you anymore.

Unless there’s some underground Windale party scene I’m completely unaware of? ’

‘If you’re asking if I’m still taking drugs and sleeping around, the answer’s no. I do all right with men, but it’s when I want it now.’

‘Exactly what I thought,’ he said, quickly and assuredly.

Indy released her breath, forcing her hackles down. She looked at her hands. ‘The truth is, I decided ten years ago that life with Nova and the others on Windale wouldn’t be so bad and now I don’t know how to be anywhere else.’

What she didn’t tell him was just the thought of being anywhere else was terrifying.

Her whole world had been consumed by learning everything she could about this place, the sheep, the cattle, the landscape, and how to be the best farmhand she could.

She’d become part of it. It had seeped so deeply into her bones that she didn’t know how to exist anywhere else.

Carter’s fingers slipped between hers. ‘It’s your past, not your present.’

And it hurt her every single day. ‘If only that were true.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘My mum’s still around. She’s still an addict, has debts, and has a tendency of showing up whenever I step off the mountain.’ She stared at him until realisation dawned on his face. She knew he’d seen her.

‘You mean that lady you gave money to at the expo is your mum?’

Indy nodded. ‘If news of you and me got out, she’d be asking for a lot more than twenty bucks—from you, me and anyone who will listen to her. The nation’s best halfback hooking up with some unknown girl? The media are bound to go digging. You don’t need that.’

Carter pulled on her hand and she went to him, his warm skin beneath her cheek, her hands against the firm muscles of his abdomen. She breathed him in, wishing it was enough to silence the fact that he didn’t say anything to reassure her. She brushed away the disappointment.

‘You get tomorrow off, don’t you?’ she asked. ‘That’s what your coach said this morning. Will you go into Windale to see your family?’

‘No, I spoke to my mum earlier and she and my sister aren’t coming out. Do you have to work tomorrow?’

‘Only the usual chores. Emery and I were going to head down to the creek mid-morning. We always spend hours down there in the summer. It’s one of the most beautiful spots on the property.’

‘One of those natural sights?’

She grinned. They were on the same wavelength. ‘It’s in a gully that borders our property with grouchy Barty’s. Also known as Emery’s favourite spot to hang and try to glimpse Barty Junior.’

‘Who?’

Indy laughed. ‘Dustin Granger, Barty’s son and heir to his kingdom, just with a slightly sunnier mood.

Anyway, all you have to do is follow the track between here and where we played pool.

If you decide to come down, you should probably ask Janet or Theresa for directions for cover and—’ She swallowed.

‘Emery knows but the others don’t, so we’ll need to keep our distance still … maybe it’s a bad idea.’

He tilted her head back and pressed a kiss to her lips that turned her doubts to mush. ‘There’s a really good reason my sunnies are tinted so darkly—it’s so no one can see me checking you out so much.’

Indy laughed, relieved that she’d still see him tomorrow. A bubble of excitement ratcheted through her that he’d get to see her favourite spot on the property.