Page 7 of SEAL’S Baby Surprise (Lanes #2)

“And now I’m a new bill,” I say. “I’m sorry.” I feel tears start up in my eyes and start rolling down my cheeks.

“Here, now, none of that,” Austin says, putting his arm around me.

Austin’s so...

Comfortable.

I thought that maybe, given my history with men lately, I would be kind of freaked out.

I’m not.

It feels good, like having Ark beside my bed. I curl myself up against him.From this close, I can smell his deep, masculine scent. He’s just so big and golden and beautiful and nice. I can’t help it.

“Lee?” Austin says. His voice, that’s normally so confident, wavers a little.

I pull back, but I’m still so close that if I wanted to lean forward, our lips would meet.

I kind of want to.

“Yeah?” I whisper.

“I... I’m sorry,” he says with another one of those half-tilted smiles.

“For what?”

“I need to tell you something because it’s kind of killing me.”

“What is it?” I frown. Is this a problem? Is he going to tell me to back up, to leave him alone?

Oh god. This is too much. He’s not really interested, he...

“You’re beautiful. And I know that this is super inappropriate, and I’m sorry if this is going to upset you, but I... I’m really attracted to you.”

I blink. “Why is that a problem.”

Austin gulps. “Um. It. Well. I... It’s inappropriate.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re not really in a solid mental state and I can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss you!” he blurted.

I study him.

Poor Austin is so flustered. Even though he was a Navy SEAL, he’s looking at me like he has no idea what to do. His eyes are wide and they’re searching my face, waiting to see what my reaction would be.

Poor guy.

I should put him out of his misery.

So, to answer his question, I do it. I lean forward, brushing my lips against his.

It’s a hesitant brush. The smallest, tiniest kiss that I’ve ever given.

“I would like to kiss you too,” I whisper when I pull back.

Austin blinks at me like he can’t believe it. “You... would?”

“Yep,” I smile at him.

His eyes go from shocked to filled with lust in a heartbeat. “That’s the type of kiss you’re going to give?”

His words are deep and they make heat twist through my stomach.

“I want you,” I say. “Let me give you something a little more for all the pain and suffering I’ve put you through.”

I lean in again. This time, I don’t just brush my lips against his.

I press my whole body against him.

When my tongue skates against his lips, he opens, moaning. His hands come up and fist in my hair, pulling my head back and deepening the kiss.

Holy. Cow.

Austin can kiss.

I moan too, leaning back as I lose myself in the kiss. His hands are still at my neck, but I tug at one of them, pulling it down to my breast. When he kneads me once, I think I’m about to combust.

I gasp at the sensation.

Unfortunately, that seems to break the moment.

“Whoa!” he says, setting me beside him real quick.

“Okay, that’s definitely a great kiss. But I don’t want you to think that you need to.

.. um... that is to say, if you’re really attracted to me, that’s great, but this,” he gestures in between us, “That’s not why I’m helping you.

Everyone gets down on their luck sometimes.

We’ll get you squared away, somehow. But you don’t owe me anything. ”

“I do. I want you,” I sniff.. I’m worried that I’ve already screwed this up. I want him to kiss me, pet me, and tell me that he loves me. But why should he? I’m just a stupid girl who can’t even pawn her own pearls!

“Lee, I just... I really need to understand that you know you don’t have to do this for me. I want you, and I think you’re beautiful, but you don’t owe me anything,” Austin says softly.

He’s rejecting me.

That has to be it.

I feel the disappointment wash over me at the thought. “Yeah, it’s okay. I get it. I can take a hint. There’s nothing...” I get up to go mid-sentence, but as quickly as I’m up, Austin’s hand is around my wrist.

He pulls me back down so I’m straddling his lap. I can feel something growing big and hard under me, so I know he isn’t indifferent to me.

I’m more than a little confused.

Austin’s hands come up on either side of my face. “Hey. Lee. Stay with me.”

I study his face. “I’m here.”

“If you want me, I want you too,” he murmurs. “Just say the word, and I’m game.”

That makes me smile a little. “What’s the word?”

“More,” he whispers, dead serious.

“More,” I repeat without hesitation.

This time when we kiss, it’s not soft or gentle. Not at all.

It’s hungry.

Austin’s lips are all over me. They nip at the edge of my jaw, moving down my neck.

It makes me shiver with delight.

I turn my face up to him for more kisses.

But, I still want more.

I’m pretty sure that I have to tell him exactly what I need. So, =I grab his hand and shove it into my pants.

“Oh, gift of the sea,” Austin says softly. “What am I to do with you?”

I kiss him some more, trying to make it clear what I think he should do. He tries to pull away, but I wrap myself around his arm, and hang on. I do want this. I can’t say why.

He is just so wonderful, so perfect, and maybe I can repay his kindness, even if it’s not really payment.

It’s more like... an exchange...

Maybe I can do something that feels good for both of us.

I’m not super worried about my lack of sexual experience.

All of the necessities are covered. I have an implant.

My brother had insisted on it when I started college.

I was prepared to have sex, I just never did.

At this point it feels a little odd, because I’m still a virgin despite having been engaged before.

I can’t think of a better way to address that, and to make Austin feel good too.

It’s a win-win, as far as I can see.

He pets me down there and slides his hand around so he can get his fingers inside. I rub myself on his palm, and it feels good. I feel myself getting wet, and his cock is getting even harder. I rub it through his shorts, and he gives a kind of grumble, rubbing his hand even harder on my little nub.

That feels absolutely amazing, and I know that I need more.

I swing my leg over and straddle his lap, rocking hard against his hand. I want it so much! I’ve done a little heavy petting with boys before, but it hasn’t been like this. He smells so good…like ocean water, smoke from the grill, and somehow a little like the incense from the shop.

He rubs his scratchy cheek against the side of my face, and I rub my boobs against his chest. I can feel his nipples get hard, like little pebbles. I didn’t know guys did that!

Then I don’t care about all of these new discoveries. All I really care about is his hand, his palm and his two fingers inside me.

It feels... intense. Different than a lot of the experiences I have had before. The way Austin moves inside me is purposeful, unlike the random attempts and efforts I’ve suffered through before. It feels...

I feel like my skin is hot and tight. Like I’m going to buzz out of it somehow.

And then it gets better.

I am flying up, up, up...

And then I explode.

When I finally come back to reality, I blink up at him. Austin’s face is smiling down at me, and I smile back. I lean against his chest, utterly limp.

That was so much more than I was expecting.

He closes his two big, muscular arms around me. I feel warm, safe, and loved. “Did it feel good?” he asks.

I nod against his cheek.

“Then that’s payment enough, my silly sea urchin,” he says. “You don’t owe me anything. You don’t owe any guy anything you don’t want to give. You understand?”

I nod again, even though I can’t make my brain process his words.

Initially, I wanted this to be mutual. A little ‘thank you’ for him, and something fun for me.

I can feel that he is still hard, so I know he didn’t quite get the same experience that I did.

It kind of feels like he is pushing me away, metaphorically, and that should make me feel rejected.

But it doesn’t.

I feel loved and cherished in ways that I’ve never felt before. I feel powerful, like I can do anything. I made Austin’s body react like that, after all.

Someday, when I’m not a puddle of mushy happiness, I’m going to return the favor.

But I don’t think it can be today.

Austin shuffles, moving me back slightly. “I got some things to do,” he says.

My heart clenches slightly. Maybe I was too trusting, earlier, and I should have interpreted his words as a rejection. I stiffen, but Austin puts a hand on either side of my face, bringing my eyes up to his.

He looks at me, and I don’t know that I’ve ever had someone look at me so deeply. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m doing the loving and leaving thing. You like to read?”

I nod for the third time.

“You can hole up here in my bunk, if you want,” he says. “I got a shelf of books in here, some movies. Take a nap if you like. I’ll be back before Julia gets home, then we’ll have some things to do together.”

“Okay,” I say, a little disappointed that he isn’t going to stay with me. But his sheets and blanket smell like him. And he’s right. After the walk, and after that glorious feeling, I could nap. I really could. So, I do.