Page 10 of SEAL’S Baby Surprise (Lanes #2)

LEE

I wake to the sound of voices. I sit up and peek between blinds. There is Austin walking up the path with Richard and Kandis! How did they get here? Kandis looks a little sunburned, so maybe they have just come to the beach. But what if they had started talking with Austin about me?

I freeze.

I can’t go back. I won’t go back. I don’t want to be married to That Hateful Man. I’d rather walk into the ocean and die first.

That, after all, was the original plan. Until Austin rescued me and made me believe in things that I shouldn’t have thought were possible.

Julia will be home soon. I don’t think she should see me in her father’s bed.

And, I shouldn’t let Richard and Kandis find me here either.

I slip out of it. Then, keeping low, I make it up nice and smooth. I even make hospital corners the way we had been required to in that one hideous boarding school.

I remember that Austin said I could read his books. I look at the selection and have to smile. Little Women, Pride and Prejudice, Tom Sawyer, To Kill a Mockingbird, and Frugal Housewife — the original British publication, and an extremely worn copy of The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

I open the flyleaf on Pride and Prejudice. Scrawled on the fly leaf are the words, “To Mom, Love Austin.”

The collection makes sense then. These had been his mother’s books. Except maybe the one about motorcycles. I wrinkle my nose at that.

I pull out Little Women. It had always been a favorite of mine. It had gotten me through three boarding schools, and finally into independent living in New York, where I had gotten a Bachelor of Arts in fashion design.

I like the sequel, Little Men, even better. I’m not Nan. I am more like Daisy, with maybe a little bit of Josie mixed in. But neither of them had to survive without parents, and with hasty messages and gifts from an older brother.

I take the book with me to my narrow little niche at the front of the van.

Maybe all those boarding schools are why I love Little Men. I so desperately had needed a Mother and Father Bhaer. Austin is an awful lot like Father Bhaer, although I couldn’t envision riding the hand of that august professor. The memory warms me.

Austin could have had me all the way, but he hadn’t. He’d satisfied what I was feeling, what I hadn’t even realized I needed.

And now, he is out there talking to my brother! I am not going back to my dismal existence, not when I’ve discovered a place where I don’t feel threatened.

I hadn’t read the mean girls books. I know what that feels like firsthand; I hadn’t needed to read about it.

Marriage had seemed like a way out. I would have had a husband, maybe after a while, a child. And I wouldn’t be sending her off to boarding school. I’d be there, and with her, just like Austin is with Julia.

Then I read through the prenuptial agreement. I hadn’t signed it. He had forged my signature on it and had told me what he’d done. He had told me while Rosalee was in the bathroom.

When he’d left the room, I had taken the scissors to the stupid, heavy train of the wedding dress, and then I’d run.

LA is a terrifying place to be wearing a small fortune in jewels, but somehow, I’d managed to make it to the beach.

I had been barefoot, but my feet are tough from the weekend nudist camps mother had loved so much.

Plus at that point, if the cost of freedom was just my feet, I’d be happy to pay it.

Waterfronts aren’t friendly. There are big ships, trucks, shipping cartons…even in a white dress I could slip between them. I blessed the skills I’d learned slipping out of dormitories, meeting boys on the sly, or — better yet — slipping into the public library.

The public libraries have all the books that were banned from the school libraries. I hadn’t taken out a library card. I’d known better — they would have just taken it from me. But I’d read the books. Sometimes I would have to wait for the books to be returned.

It had kept me sane. At least sort of. But books can only teach you so much. When I had fallen asleep on the sand of Freedom Beach, I hadn’t gotten swept out to sea as I had expected. Instead, I’d met Austin.

Austin, who cooks breakfast. Cooks not only for his daughter, but also for two neighbor kids. Austin, who buys stuff for me when the pawnshop guy won’t accept my string of pearls.

Austin, who had adopted a barking dog because he admired Ark’s tenacity and was grateful for being saved. Austin, who might have adopted out of compassion, but had won the loyalty and love of the big dog.

Now, Austin is talking to my brother. If he tells my brother that I’m here, I’m not sure what Richard will do.

Oh god.

What if he hurts Austin or Julia?

“I’m a danger to them,” I whisper to myself. “I should leave.”

I hear the door of the van open and close. The curtain in front of my narrow bed swishes. I pretend to be asleep.

I think that Richard and Kandis are gone, and from the general calm aura from Austin, I can tell that I’m in the clear as far as Richard is concerned.

That’s a relief for sure.

I make my decision in that moment.

I would have this afternoon with Austin and Julia. I would enjoy basking at the fire of their love for each other, and pretending that I’m part of it too. Then, tonight, I would slip away. Austin never locks his door. I’d noticed that, so it would be easy.

Austin peers in. “Hey, you.”

I smile back at him. “Hey.”

“Ready for the rest of the day?”

“I sure am,” I beam.

Every minute of this afternoon is precious. We have pizza ordered in and a fresh green salad from the market stand that is between the row of homes and the village. Austin has purchased more cream soda and more ice for the cooler.

The van’s fridge is small and used to keep things like milk and eggs. Meat Austin buys fresh and uses right away. It is his version of frugal housekeeping.

In the afternoon, when it is too hot to even go swimming, the three of us sit on Austin’s big bed and play Old Maid, Authors, and Chutes and Ladders.

Julia loves sending us down the chutes. But there is nothing malicious about it.

The sweet child laughs just as hard when she lands on a chute and has to climb back up the ladders.

Austin takes us out to dinner and a movie. I am so nervous, absolutely sure that someone will recognize me.

But no one I know is likely to show up at an open-air theater where they serve baked spaghetti, unending baskets of bread sticks, and more lovely green salad.

The movie is some kind of weird oldie about a guy who watches over a native American reservation and a charity school that takes in orphans and rejected kids.

It doesn’t make much sense, but it doesn’t have to. The magic isn’t in the movie; it’s in sharing a meal with Austin and Julia, listening to Austin explain bits to Julia, and getting a tiny bit tipsy on a very ordinary sort of wine.

“Are you old enough to drink alcoholic beverages?” Austin asks.

“Duh,” I reply. “I’m twenty-six. I got my BA in fashion design a year ago.” Now why had I said that? The less he knows, the safer he is.

But I was kind of proud of it. And I did want Austin to know that.

The Bluebeard Bridegroom is not going to get his hands on Julia or Austin. I might have been stupid enough for him to get his hooks into me, but he isn’t going to touch anyone else.

I think about Kandis walking along beside Richard, her baby’s head on her shoulder. No, Mr. Bluebeard isn’t going to touch any of them. Richard doesn’t know about the depths of his depravity, and I’m going to keep it that way.

I’ll keep them all safe.

On the way home, Austin stops at the local grocery and goes back to the pharmacy section while Julia and I pick out fresh fruit. Then he adds some things that will be easy to cook on the grill and pays for everything.

I’m so ashamed. I should be helping to pay for things, but I don’t have any money. Worse yet, I’d interrupted his work this morning. Did he have to call in sick because of me?

Back at the van, I offer a hug to Julia, who gives me a big squeeze.

“Thank you for asking,” she says. “Some grownups forget.” That reminds me that she’d been in foster care for nearly a whole year while her father had searched for her, and then he’d had to prove that he was good enough to have her with him.

“You’re welcome,” I say. “I will always remember to ask.”

She scampers up the short ladder to her loft, collects up the rag doll that always hangs over the edge during the day, and blows kisses to me and her father before settling down in her nest.

“May I give you a hug?” Austin asks me.

I am so grateful to him for asking, not taking. “Yes, please,” I say.

Because Julia might be watching, we don’t kiss, but he holds me close for a minute. “Will you be all right sleeping alone?” he whispers in my ear.

I nod. “I borrowed Little Women,” I say. “It’s like my Pilgrim’s Progress.”

He laughs softly. “Mine, too. But it was The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance that I took with me. I didn’t want the guys in my unit to make fun of me.”

That thought makes me giggle.

“I’ll show you where to turn on the reading light,” he says. Then, when we are safely where Julia can’t see us, he whispers, “Would you like a good night kiss?”

“Yes, please,” I say, knowing this might be our last chance at a kiss. There, in the shadowed space between the driver’s seat and reclined passenger seat, we kiss long, deep and hard. It is the best kiss ever.

It warms me right down in the frozen depths of my heart, in places I hadn’t known were frozen up. It warms something else, too, creating a deep, heavy longing in my woman parts.

It must have done things for Austin, too, because he finally draws back. We hold each other, just remembering how to breathe. “Oh, my precious mermaid,” he whispers. “Let’s let that be enough for tonight.”

It sounds like he’s saying it to himself, too. I bask in the delicious warmth from his body and let him tuck me up in my little bed. He shows me where the reading light is located.

“I’ll leave Ark with you,” he says. “Guard, Ark! He’ll take good care of you.”

Then Austin is gone, and I am left with his mother’s copy of Little Women, and a shaggy guardian dog who farts, snores and gives wet, sloppy dog kisses if you don’t shield your face soon enough.

I read through the first five chapters of the book. Ark’s breathing is even and deep. I mark my place in the book with my half ticket stub from the movie.

I ease out of the bed, and pad into the tiny bathroom where I freshen up. I am still wearing Austin’s t-shirt and sweat shorts. I certainly don’t want to put that stupid dress back on.

When I come out, Ark is sitting in the narrow walkway, between me and the door. I try to go around him, but he gently blocks me with one big shoulder. Just as gently, he places his mouth around my hand and tugs me back toward my bed.

I remember Austin saying that Ark could kill, but wouldn’t, so I give in to the tug and go with him. Best not to take chances.

He shoulders me into the bed, then climbs up and flops on top of me. Gosh, he’s heavy!

Ark gives a kind of muffled sigh, and wriggles around until he’s more beside me than on top. He rests his head on my shoulder, nuzzles my ear, and licks me once.

Message delivered. It is clear that I’m not going anywhere. Ark is on guard.

Shit.