Page 40 of Scars of Anatomy

Down the Drain

The sunlight pouring in the window pierces my eyelids and I roll over with a groan, trying to block it out.

After a few minutes of not finding myself drifting back off to sleep, I peel my eyes open and blearily stare at the clock on my nightstand, wondering what time it is. I blink a few times, trying to make out the numbers, only to realize there’s no numbers on the clock.

Alarmed, I shoot up and grab my phone to see the alarm going off with no sound. I stop it and a looming dread creeps up my spine and swarms my chest when I realize what time it is.

Fuck .

Not wanting it to be true, praying I’m stuck in some crazy nightmare, I repeatedly smack the digital clock on my nightstand, willing it to work and show an alternate time. It was working last night but appears completely dead this morning.

My eyes flash back to my phone, reading 8:42 a.m. Forty-two minutes after the lab final has started.

Nauseated, heart thumping madly in my chest, I jump out of bed and throw on my shoes. Without a second thought I race out the door without my coat or anything, only wearing my pajamas, which consist of some old sweats and a ratty T-shirt, and sprint to the science building.

Out of breath, my lungs on fire, gulping in the cold air, I force myself to push forward and race across campus as if my life depends on it. Halfway, I stumble over my feet and nearly fall flat on my face, the rough texture of concrete scraping my palms as I catch myself.

I hop right back up, pushing my legs to go faster, and eventually, after what feels like miles, I burst through the science building doors. Skidding around the corner to the anatomy lab, I stop in my tracks, spotting a group of three huddled outside the door.

Delilah and Rat Boy’s backs are to me initially, each of their hands on Olivia’s dejected shoulders in a comforting manor. Olivia’s face is on full display, the hurt written across her face eminent, destroying me.

My less-than-subtle entrance catches their attention, my breathing rapid, chest inflating and deflating quickly as I stand frozen. Helpless.

Rat Boy looks over his shoulder at me, a hard, knowing glint in his beady little eyes, like he expected this to happen. Even Delilah’s eyes are hard, cold, as they land on my face.

Olivia’s eyes glance up at me and her face crumples. I nearly stumble back at the look in her eyes. The disappointment—the betrayal—in them.

Hesitantly, on wobbly legs, I take a cautious step forward.

“Finch,” I say softly, a plea in my voice.

She shakes her head, tears misting her eyes.

Words clog in my throat as I take more steps toward her, my feet feeling like cinderblocks.

“Finch, I’m sorry,” I whisper remorsefully, my throat unbearably tight.

She only looks at me, hurt and confusion in her brown eyes.

“Finch,” I plead desperately, reaching for her. “I didn’t intend for this to happen, I swear.”

Reluctantly, Delilah moves out of the way, but all one hundred and twenty pounds of Rat Boy stands firmly rooted in front of her.

“Clearly she doesn’t want to talk to you,” he spits.

“Clearly, you need to stay the fuck out of this,” I spit back venomously, shoving him out of the way.

“Finch,” I say, much more gently, softer, reaching for her face.

She flinches away, like she can’t bear for me to touch her, absolutely breaking my heart. “Don’t,” she says, her voice firm but weak.

“Finch, I swear—”

“You’re lucky Tracy is nice enough to not make her take the final alone,” Rat Boy cuts in, not knowing when to shut the fuck up. “Not that she needed your or anyone’s help anyway.”

“I told you to stay out of this,” I bite out curtly over my shoulder at him.

“But at least she got to work with us. People she can count on ,” he persists, clearly provoking me. “And don’t for a second think you’re getting credit for our work.”

I spin around, baring my teeth. “Shut the fuck up!”

He squares his scrawny shoulders. “You were just using her to pass the class, weren’t you? You’re only showing up now to make sure she took the final for you, right?” he accuses. “I always knew you were good at using girls. I just thought you only used them for sex.”

White-hot rage flashes though me, and without a second thought I swing, and my fist collides with his jaw. He stumbles back, tripping over his feet. Landing flat on his ass, he yelps in surprise and pain.

“Throw my past in my face one more time,” I challenge him, looming over him. “I fucking dare you.”

I snatch him up by the collar of his shirt as he tries to scramble away and slam him back against the nearest wall. “She’s nothing like the others,” I spit dangerously, my knuckles turning white as they wrap tighter around the collar of his shirt as he squirms to get away.

The fear in his eyes gives me a sickening satisfaction, and I imagine the nice dark bruise that’s going to bloom across his pale skin.

Out of pure hate and spite, I draw my arm back and punch him in the face again. And again. Something I’ve dreamed of doing multiple times since I met him.

“Bronx, stop!” I manage to hear Olivia over the blood roaring in my ears.

A delicate hand wraps around my bicep, and I freeze.

Looking over my shoulder, I see Olivia’s face filled with fear and horror.

Immediately, she lets go of my arm, as if I scorched her, and takes a few steps back.

She stumbles into Delilah, who catches her, wrapping a secure arm around her shoulders.

“Finch.” I let go of Rat Boy and he crashes to the floor. I take a step toward her slowly, carefully, not to scare her any further.

She closes her eyes, willing the tears away, and suddenly I notice a small crowd has formed around us. Students trickling out of nearby classrooms stop and watch the show. All of a sudden, it seems like time has stopped and I’m standing outside of my own body, watching a fiery train wreck unfold.

I scan the faces of the crowd, feeling like a caged animal on full display for their pleasure. All of them anxiously waiting to see what happens next.

My eyes catch on a pair of wicked green eyes, Adrianna’s mouth turning up in a satisfied smirk, making my blood run cold. Just as I’m about to confront her, a large, strong hand grips my shoulder, pulling me back to real time.

“Dude, what the fuck is going on?” Brennen asks, his eyes hard, questioning.

My eyes flash between Olivia, Delilah, and Rat Boy, who is still crumpled on the floor, a small amount of blood trickling from his nose.

“Let’s go, Liv,” Delilah whispers gently to her friend, pulling her toward the exit.

“Finch, wait!” I call, ready to run after her, but Brennen’s hand grips my shoulder tighter.

Brennen flashes me a warning look, telling me with his eyes to let them go, but I’ll be damned if I let her walk away. I shove Brennen and shoulder my way through the crowd, pushing through the doors of the science building to run after my girl.

“Finch! Olivia!” I call, running behind them, begging her to stop.

Delilah looks over her shoulder at me, flashing me a warning glare.

I stop in my tracks, my chest heaving.

No, no, no, no .

My chest seizes, and I feel like I’m losing everything. Losing her. Like my life is spiraling out of control. And the fact that Olivia won’t even talk to me—will hardly look at me—I can’t handle it. The look on her face; she has all the power to single-handedly destroy me.

“I love you!” The words desperately tumble out of my mouth without warning, and I instantly wait for the regret to creep in—the dire need to shove the words back into my mouth—but it doesn’t.

Olivia freezes, Delilah jerking to a stop next to her.

“You know I wouldn’t do that to you, Finch,” I call. “You know it,” I plead.

“I don’t know what happened,” I confess. “I swear, I had both of my alarms set! Adrianna—” I harshly scrub my hands over my face, not knowing how to explain. I know she had something to do with this, I just don’t know what. “I’m sorry.”

Olivia remains frozen, but she doesn’t dare turn around to look at me.

“Please, Finch. You have to believe me,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

Delilah rubs her back soothingly, whispering into her ear. After a few moments, Olivia squares her shoulders, standing up taller, and the two of them begin to walk away.

“No,” I breathe, my heart shattering into a million pieces.

My eyes sting and my chest grows incredibly tight. I want to chase after her, catch her in my arms and promise everything is going to be okay, but my feet are rooted to the ground.

I watch Delilah settle Olivia into the passenger seat of her car then close the door and round the hood. She flashes me a look before she gets behind the wheel, and the two of them drive off.

A frustrated scream rips from the back of my throat. I slam my fist into the brick wall of the building repeatedly, loving the scrape of the rough texture on my skin. I only stop when Brennen finds me and locks his arms around me, pulling me away.

“Man, stop!” he yells, his grip tightening around me until I settle down.

When he loosens up enough, I push him away, storming off to the dorm. I burst into my room and grab my shower caddy, marching off to the showers. Going into a stall, I rip off my clothes and turn the water to the hottest setting, steam already looming.

I step under the hot spray, letting the scalding-hot water practically burn my skin, hoping the memories will burn with it. I let the water spray onto my cuts, savoring the sting, wanting to feel something other than the sickening acid in my stomach and the wrenching pain in my chest.

I watch the smallest amount of blood tint the water, the red liquid swirling down the drain with everything else in my life.

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