Page 76 of Say Yes to the Nemesis

I don’t know why I’m so thrilled that he’s looking out for me, but the warmth that floods my chest is undeniable. I roll my eyes like I think he’s being ridiculous. Still, I do what he says, running to the bathroom, then back to him, breathless with the realization that this feels more than just incredible. It feels like more than I ever thought it could.

He’s waiting on the bed, his eyes half lidded and dangerous. I like this sleepy, sexy version of him. He reaches for me, pulling me close again.

“Chirp,” he murmurs against my skin. “I can’t get enough of you.” Then his head is between my legs, his tongue against my clit. It’s gentle, urgent, nothing like before.

I’m not used to him like this. I’m not used to anyone like this. I should care that I’m falling apart under him, that he’s got all the power. I should care that my body’s greedy and needy and helpless. But I don’t. It’s incredible. I’m coming undone all over again, but slower, softer, with a kind of intensity that makes me gasp, makes me think maybe there’s something here I didn’t expect.

This changes everything.

Or does it? Maybe it’s just another game. Maybe it’s a way to pass the time while Jay’s away. Maybe I’m kidding myself that this could be more.

He’s murmuring things I can barely hear, barely stand to hear. About how good I taste, how amazing I am, like he means it. His hands and mouth are all I can think about. My body’s an instrument only he knows how to play. Everything trembles, the edges blur. I don’t know what happens after this, but I know what I want. I know that I’m close, so close, so ready.

I don’t want to stop.

I don’t have to tonight.

But what about tomorrow?

twenty-one

WREN

I wakeup to warm skin, tangled sheets, and the soft sound of Ryan breathing next to me. I don’t open my eyes right away, because I know when I do, the real world will rush in. I just want to stay right here, in the bubble of being not quite awake.

Last night clings to me. Ryan… His voice, his hands, the way he looked at me like I wasn’t just some girl on a reality show. It was everything. I roll over and find that Ryan is on his side.

Surprisingly, he doesn’t snore. I guess I figured that someone as big as he is would snore like a trucker.

His arm is slung over my waist like it belongs there. My face is tucked under his chin. He’s still asleep, but I can feel the way his chest rises and falls. Steady, warm, grounding.

I should feel smug or maybe satisfied. I should feel powerful. This man, this hockey god, got on his knees for me last night.

Instead, I feel like I might throw up. Because now it’s real. Not just a fantasy I could rewrite in my head a hundred different ways. Now he’s seen me. Touched me. I don’t get to take that back.

Last night was the best night of my life so far. This morning is easily the second best.

That’s the problem.

This wasn’t supposed to feel good. Not this good. Not heart-in-the-throat, nerves-on-fire, what-if-I-let-myself-fall good.

I stare at his pretty face. His hair falls gently over his forehead and into his eyes. The urge to reach out and brush it back is almost overwhelming.

Yeah. I have to get out of here before he wakes up and bursts my bubble.

Ever so carefully, I ease myself out of his arms, gently placing his arm on the bed. Then I sit up and move over to the edge. For some reason, my heart’s racing.

What’s wrong with me? That I liked it that much? That I wanted it to mean something?

No one ever looks at me and sees forever. I’m the footnote. The afterthought. The nice girl who’s never quite enough.

It meant something to me. But I know better than to think I meant something to him.

I rub my hand over my face, trying to control my heart rate. But it’s too late. The spiral’s already happening.

I like fucking him too much.

I likehimtoo much. Goddamn it.