Page 14 of Saxon Blade Norman Blood

“What is rosemary?” Rowena took advantage of the fact that William had come into the bailey to ask the question.

“It’s an herb used for cooking and healing,” he answered, appearing amused. No wonder. The day before she had been frightened he would slice her throat in the forest and abandon her corpse to the wolves and here she was, asking him about plants. “Why do you ask?”

“I overheard two of your maids talking this morning. Though it was clear they were discussing food, a lot of it did not make sense to me. They seemed to have a different accent to yours, which didn’t help,” she reflected. “Anyway, I thought I had better improve my skills in your language before meeting with the Saxon lords.”

“I doubt a knowledge of herbs will serve us with Leowald but I will show you what rosemary is if you wish, as it is a bit difficult to explain. A demonstration is often worth a thousand words, I find.” He led her to the herb garden just outside the palisade and picked up a sprig of spiky green leaves. She had never seen anything like it before. “Here. Rosemary,” he said, handing it to her.

“Mm. I see.” She crushed the stem between two fingers and inhaled a sharp, pungent smell that was new to her. “And parslow?”

“I imagine you mean parsley. Over there.” William indicated another, more fragile-looking plant to her. “Anything else you overheard while I’m here?”

“Yes. There was a sentence I did not understand. ‘He nibbled at my earlobe and fiddled with my nipple’,” she said slowly, doing her best to remember the exact words.

William made a choking sound and stared at her a long moment. “What did you just say?” he asked in a rasp.

“I-I thought they were discussing food,” she stammered. “To nibble is to eat, is it not?”

“Yes. In a way…” He made a face she had difficulty interpreting.

“I’m sorry,” she said, fast regretting asking the question. She hadn’t meant to sound so inept. “I just want to improve and I have never heard these words before.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” he muttered between his teeth. “But I suppose I had better show you what it means, if you are determined to learn,” he said in a low voice.

By now Rowena had seen enough to know she should refuse the offer, but the word was out of her mouth before she had time to blink. “Yes.”

William came to her slowly. In that moment he seemed taller than usual, all masculine intent. She gulped. They had never been so close to one another when not in bed and his proximity was affecting her more than she would have liked.

“I believe the maid was talking about her lover, not food, and she was describing what he had done to her, rather than tell her friend what delicacies he had eaten,” he purred. “Do you still want to know?”

“Yes.”

More than ever.

“Then close your eyes.”

Heart thudding in her chest, Rowena felt his arm wrap around her waist. She never should have accepted, but she allowed William to draw her closer anyway. He could show her whatever he wished; she was tired of fighting the attraction between them and she knew he would never hurt her.

His mouth pressed against her ear, and when he spoke, her whole body trembled.

“As we agreed before, a demonstration is worth a thousand words.”

“Yes.”

Two lips closed on a part of her body she had never before considered worthy of any attention. What William did to it changed her opinion on the subject forever. He nipped at the nub of flesh with teasing little bites, before taking it into his mouth, licking it, suckling it slowly. Though she did not need such a lengthy, shocking demonstration to understand what an earlobe was, she was powerless to stop him. It was too delicious. Her eyes would have fluttered in rapture had she not made a conscious effort to keep them closed.

A sigh escaped her lips, and in a distant corner of her mind, she wondered if the maid’s lover had provoked half the sensations William was creating within her body. After what felt like an eternity he drew back, and she realized that part of the explanation was still to come. She whimpered. How was she going to withstand it?

“Do you understand now?” His voice was little more than a rasp. It pleased her to see he was as affected as she was, that she was not the only one drowning in sensations she did not understand or overwhelmed by feelings she had difficulty accepting.

“Yes.” Somehow between two shaky breaths the word got out.

“Good. Now I’m going to… How did you say? Fiddle with your nipple. Have I got your permission to do so? It doesn’t hurt but it is quite an intimate thing to do.”

Rowena nodded slowly. There was nothing he could do to her right now she would object to. Besides, it was unlikely anything the maid had discussed with her friend so openly could be too…

Oh God .

Her body melted in a sudden rush when his hand closed on her breast and teased its pointy end through the fabric of her gown. It did not take long for it to become hard and engorged. Her breath was coming in short, ragged bursts but he did not stop. The arm around her waist kept her in place against his hard body. Just when she thought she would cry out for mercy, he drew away.

“This part of your body is a nipple.” This time she could not find the strength to respond. “I believe the maid said the man did both at the same time,” William said, leaning into her once more. His voice was little more than a purr.

“No,” she screamed, feeling his lips at her earlobe, about to suckle it once more. She would never bear having the two things done to her at the same time. Surely she would explode. “I-It’s enough, I understand what it means.”

But she knew that this was not about language anymore, and soon she would have to accept that there was something between them.

“Now you know,” he said slowly, releasing her.

“Yes. I do.”

Indeed she did. Rowena knew for certain her feelings for William were nothing like what they should be, and his toward her of a confused nature to say the least. He would never have done what he had just done otherwise. He could easily have explained the meaning of the words, or even told her that it was not important, but he had seemed no more able to resist touching her than she had been able to refuse his caresses.

She took a step back and breathed deeply. They stared at each other for a long moment, she panting slightly, he with an expression she would have found worrying had she not learned the complete mastery he had over his urges.

The message in his eyes was clear. She only had to say the word and he would take her to bed right now. It was a heady feeling, but that was not what made her tremble. What made her hands shake was the realization of how perilously close to uttering those very words she was.

“Was there anything else you wanted to know?” The polite question was incongruous, considering that only a moment ago he had been…

Nibbling at her earlobe and fiddling with her nipple.

As long as she lived, Rowena would not forget those words.

“No. I did not hear the rest of the maids’ conversation. They were interrupted.”

“I am glad to have been of assistance to you.” He gave a strained smile she could not return.

Was his body throbbing as much as hers was? She doubted it. A man as experienced as he would need a bit more than a quick fumble to be overcome with emotion. Whereas she had never been touched in that way before.

The response of her senses upset her. Not because it felt wrong, though it definitely should have, but because it had not been enough. She had wanted more of his touch.

“I wonder if the maid spoke of the blacksmith or our new groom,” William said pensively. “I have noticed they are both rather popular among the women.”

Rowena was grateful to him for trying to overcome the embarrassment of the moment. She gave what she hoped was a passable imitation of a smile. One thing was certain, from now on she would never ask William the meaning of any word, for she could not risk a repeat of this performance. After a nod in his direction, she made her way back to the keep.

Now that he had touched her so intimately, she did not know how she could bear to be in his presence again. Despite sleeping next to her every night, he had never once tried to take advantage of their proximity. He had promised not to, on the first day, but she had not dared believe him. Men were easily overcome by their urges, as well she knew, but so far, he had kept his word. The shocking display in the herb garden had been provoked by her questioning, and though he had perhaps made more of the opportunity than was necessary, he had been considerate enough to respect her wishes when she had wanted to put an end to the experiment.

Sleeping with him, she could not ignore that his body was aroused by hers. She felt it every time he drew her into his arms, but it had ceased to make her panic. It had not taken her long to understand he was perfectly capable of keeping his cravings under an iron control.

The reason for this restraint must be an impeachable sense of honor rather than fear of what she would do to him once he was on top of her. Rowena was not so na?ve as to ignore he could have satisfied his desire for her without placing himself in any danger of being killed.

No. William would never rape her. But he might try to persuade her to give in to his touch, and if he did, she wasn’t quite sure of how inflexible she would be.

This state of affairs could not be allowed to continue. Something would have to change.

And soon.

*

The scream curdled William’s blood. Panicked, he turned to the girl by his side, the only person who could have uttered it. What was happening? Who had entered the room while they slept? In the moonlight her eyes were round as coins and dark with fright. Her chest was heaving, but he quickly saw that they were alone. His heartbeat returned to normal.

This was only a bad dream, nothing more.

“You’re having a nightmare,” he whispered in her ear. “But you’re safe. I’m here.”

Intent on reassuring her, he drew her against his chest but the contact of his body only seemed to make her panic more.

“Let go of me,” she panted, pushing and shoving against him with surprising force.

“I will hazard a guess that your dream was about me,” he said wryly, releasing his hold. She had never objected to him holding her before, so it was the only explanation. The way she was pushing at him made it clear he had frightened her.

“I cannot be next to you. I cannot,” she gasped.

Why not, all of a sudden? They had been sleeping together for days, and this without any protest on her part. His chest tightened. What had happened in the herb garden that afternoon was undoubtedly responsible for her change in attitude. She must have seen the desire in his eyes and taken fright. She was aware his control now hung by a thread.

Damnation, he should never have allowed himself the pleasure of touching her in such an intimate manner. It would only lead to unwanted complications, and the situation between them was already beyond what was comfortable.

But how could he keep a cool head around such an intoxicating woman? With each passing day he found something else to admire about her. She was brave, witty, resourceful, honest, curious, kind, she made him laugh, she impressed him with her dignity and she had brought some much needed spice in his dull, predictable life. Her spontaneity ensured that he was never bored, and her presence at the castle gave him a reason to get up in the morning other than duty. Being with her was a welcome relief from his endless and often tense negotiations with Saxons.

“Nothing will happen, I promised I would not touch you when we arrived at the castle and I meant it,” he said through gritted teeth. He could not let her suspect how much it cost him to hold on to that promise, not when she was already on the verge of panic.

“You were holding me in your arms just now,” she countered, her breathing labored. “How is that not touching me?”

So he’d been right; she was afraid he’d lose control while she was in his embrace. “That was different. You had a nightmare, you screamed, I was trying to—”

“I cannot sleep with you,” she all but shouted, scrambling away from him. “I need to go.”

In the darkness, he could not see her properly but he heard her ragged intakes of breath. Whatever he had done to her in her dream had frightened her out of her wits.

“You cannot go anywhere, it is the middle of the night,” he said gently.

“I will sleep on the floor then.” Before he could protest, she dragged one of the fur covers off the bed. “I can’t… I cannot be with you right now.”

She would only refuse if he offered to sleep on the floor himself and panic if he forced her back into the bed. There was nothing he could do but allow her to do what she wanted to do. She suddenly seemed desperately afraid of him.

Why? Was there more to it than a simple nightmare? Had he tried to touch her in his sleep? It was possible. His desire for her left him no peace. What if he’d unwittingly reached for her while he slept? She could have mistaken it for a conscious assault. His hands could have inadvertently landed on her breasts when he’d turned around, or she could have thought he tried to subdue her when he’d held her close just now.

In any case, and whatever the reason for it, she could not bear his presence by her side.

The oddness of their arrangement struck him anew. This unknown girl shared his bed, spending night after night in his arms. No other woman had ever done so, despite a fair few of his conquests trying to secure a place in his bed. If these women saw that he’d bestowed what they perceived as a privilege to a girl who’d tried to kill him, they would rant and fume against the unfairness of men.

He had to admit it was a bewildering decision.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer had always been his way of operating. But “closer” did not usually mean in his arms and of course, he didn’t really consider her his enemy now.

Everyone at the castle was still ignorant of the true reason behind their acquaintance. They assumed she was the woman currently warming his bed, which she was, but only in the literal sense of the word. He had never touched her.

Well, almost never.

A surge of desire ran through him at the memory of what they’d done the night they’d met. Was it because he craved to possess her more completely that he kept her so close at all times? Was she sharing his bed because he deemed it the easiest way to ensure his safety, or did he have a further motive? Was he not, in actual fact, waiting for an opportunity to make her change her mind?

If this was the case, he’d made little progress, he acknowledged ruefully. She preferred to lie on the cold, hard floor instead of running the risk of being in bed next to him. William muffled a curse, turned his back to her, and knew he would never get to sleep now.

When a grayish dawn broke, he looked at the girl, half expecting her to be wide awake as well. But she was curled in a ball, asleep under the fur cover. He briefly considered bringing her back into the warmth of the bed, but resisted the impulse, wary she would misinterpret his intentions if she awoke while he lifted her off the floor.

He arose and shrugged his tunic back on. He would order food to be brought to the room. First, he would go and write some letters, then he would come and join her so they could break their fast together.

Before he went, he stole a last glance at her and felt an odd tightening in his chest at the sight of her small hands bunched in a fist by her head. He frowned. In that moment she reminded him of a lamb having been thrown into the wolves’ lair to bring down the alpha, too fragile and innocent for the task demanded of her.

How long until something had to change between them?

Not long, he suspected. The situation was quickly becoming untenable.