Page 26 of Sawyer (Sabre Security Daddies #6)

L ele stared at Saul— no, Sawyer— trying to process what he’d said.

There were paradoxes and oxymorons in the world.

People used them all the time. She’d used them herself.

There was a deafening silence, and people ate jumbo shrimp.

There were phrases like “cruel to be kind” or “the more you know, the more you don’t know. ”

Happiness and sadness had both filled her at the same time. She'd been excited and scared. But could a person love someone and lie to them the entire time they were together?

All two whole weeks of being together? Not much of a test.

She shook her head. “Nope. No. You, you can’t.”

With a sad, lopsided grin, Sawyer disagreed. “And yet I did, babygirl. Fast, hard, and irreversibly.”

Fudge nuggets! She’d answered her own question, but she hadn’t meant to do it out loud.

If someone had asked her yesterday if she was falling in love with Saul. Sawyer. Whoever he was. She’d have said yes. But that was yesterday. Before she’d found out, she didn’t even know her Daddy’s real name .

It was too much. Her brain was fried.

She scowled at him. “Well, I don't. And even if I did, I wouldn't stay that way to someone who had been lying to me the entire time I've known him."

She was, evidently, staying at his house for as long as he wanted. He’d promised her they’d eat at That's Italian for lunch. She’d been looking forward to it.

He would have sat beside her, tall and handsome. She’d have been the envy of every Little in town. He’d have made jokes about the way that she zuped her spaghetti.

No one would have dared be mean to her because he wouldn’t have let them.

Because Daddies were protective, and he was supposed to be her Daddy.

She wouldn’t have worried about anyone trying to take her away from him.

Because Daddies were possessive, and she was his.

He’d tuck her napkin into the collar of her shirt.

Daddies are caregivers and watch out for their Littles that way.

What Daddies didn’t do, not ever, was lie. Not to their Little girl. Not about how they feel, or who they are. Daddies didn’t spy on their Little girls with cameras they didn’t even know were there. He’d both those things. Maybe more. So, he wasn’t her Daddy.

In her world, lying and loving could not both occur at the same time. Never.

He reached for her across the couch, but when she froze him with an icy gaze, his hand dropped. "I'm not asking you to tell me you love me, too. I'm not asking you to feel that way at all. I just wanted you to know that's where I'm at."

What was she supposed to do with that?

She didn't know what to think. She didn't know what to feel.

She didn't know how to be. It had taken all her trust to believe that someone as gorgeous as Saul…

because darn it, that's who he was… could be interested in someone like her.

He could've had any woma n in town, and he chose her. She’d believe him, even though it made no sense.

He hadn't loved her then, and he didn't love her now. And all she wanted was a quiet room where she could be alone and cry her heart out. Again.

She probably would, but not right now. Right now, she’d thought of what she wanted to say. “I want to go home. I want to go back to Elk Jaw.”

The pain that filled his eyes with her words proved just how good an actor he really was.

She wasn't surprised when he shook his head.

“You can't go back to Elk Jaw right now, Half-Pint.” Before she could argue, he continued.

“I'll take you later, if you really want to go. You're not a prisoner. But I won’t take you right now.”

“Why not?”

He closed his eyes, as if he didn’t want to answer her, but then he said, “Because your house is bugged. I told the guys at the meeting I wanted someone to go remove all the cameras and listening devices. You’re not going to want to go back to your house until they're done."

Well, he was right about that. "I’ve put on enough peep shows to last a lifetime, thank you very much. But I don't want to stay here alone with you. Anything might happen."

For the first time, his jaw clenched, and his eyes narrowed.

“Just what do you think would happen, little girl?

Are you suddenly afraid of me? I know my identity came as a shock, but you know me.

We can go to the kitchen, and I can make you a snack.

Or I can go to my office. You won't even know I'm here. "

It would be wonderful if that sounded like a great idea. But it didn’t. She had no desire to sit alone in a strange house with nothing but thoughts of how bad her heart was hurting.

Luckily, he wasn't finished, "Or we can play video games. You can show me all your mad skills." He gave her a knowing grin. “That is, if you actually have any.”

She sat up straight. Oh, he did not just question her gaming skills.

She would annihilate him. That would make her feel better, and gaming always helped time move faster.

She had to admit, the idea of playing on a BenQ3100i, something she may never get a chance to do again, was exciting.

Her brain went into gamer mode automatically.

In her best Inigo Montoya impression, she said, “My name is Leyla Cortez. You have besmirched my reputation. Prepare for defeat.” She made a point of not calling him Daddy. “But I still want snacks. Oh, and you have to sit at one end of the couch, and I'll sit at the other.”

He didn't hesitate. “Deal. You wait here, and I'll go get the snacks.”

His shoulders weren't as squared as they usually were as he walked away. He’d always walked with confidence and purpose with his head held high. Now he walked like someone who’d been tricked in the game and lost all their loot and resources. That happened to her once, and it sucked.

Guilt crawled through her, so she grabbed it and gave it a good smack. She was not the one who should feel guilty. He was the one who lied. She was the victim here. She had no reason to feel guilty.

So why did she want to hug him and do anything she could to make him feel better?

Because she was stupid, that’s why. That had already been established.

She seemed to need a constant reminder of just how stupid she was.

Stupid enough to land in jail for something she hadn't done.

Stupid enough to let a complete stranger waltz into her life and have her calling him Daddy in two weeks.

Stupid enough to have given her heart to a man she didn't even know.

It was a good thing he didn't expect her to tell him she loved him because she never would. The real tragedy was that although she wouldn’t say it, it didn't mean it hadn't happened.

Just listening to the corn popping and soda fizzing over ice frustrated her. She loved popcorn. Of course, he knew that. Whenever he’d been able to fit it in, they’d played that crazy question game. It was amazing how much information a person could find out in two weeks.

Not wanting to dwell on him or the things she’d learned about him, she took the opportunity to walk around the game room and explore.

Of course, if she ever had a game room one day, it would've looked just like his.

And the fact that he'd put a table… and not just any table, a big sturdy table with lots of room for lots of friends…

in the room so that his Little girl could be near him knocked on the door of her heart. She wished the knocking would stop.

At the window, she gazed at the mountains in the distance. They were green now with all the trees and forests. But she could just picture how they look in winter, covered with snow.

They would be breathtaking. And they’d be something she could see every day. She reached for the curtains and yanked them closed. Nobody needed to look at stupid mountains.

“Here we go," he said, returning with a large tray filled with the cola, popcorn, and some of the best snacks.

He set the tray in the center of the sofa, a makeshift barrier between them. Did he do that so she would feel safe? He wouldn’t have had to if he hadn't lied to her. If she were there as his real and true Little girl. There would never be a tray of snacks between them then.

She would be sitting right next to him in the center of the couch, their feet propped up on the coffee table, challenging one another to do their best at whatever game they were playing.

If he hadn't lied. She didn’t think she’d ever be able to get past that. But hadn’t she lied at Jaxon’s trial? That gave her pause .

He chose one of her games, and the next thing she knew, four hours had passed. She hadn’t noticed because the lights came on automatically in a way that the light level never changed. Her stomach growled, prompting Sawyer to pause the game.

“Someone’s hungry. I thought, if you're up to it, we could still go to That’s Italian for supper, since we missed it at lunch. I think you'd enjoy it.”

That was a given, seeing as she’d never met a pasta she didn't love. When she was younger, she planned her dream wedding, and instead of the table of fancy hors d'oeuvres, she had a pasta bar on one side of the room and a potato bar on the other. “Will it be just us?”

“As far as I know. Put your controller back in the basket.”

Without a thought, she said, “Yes, Daddy.”

God! This was going to be so hard.

No sooner had a delightful man with a bushy mustache and an over-the-top Italian accent brought Sawyer and Lele a large bowl of salad to share, then Georgia and Hutch walked in That’s Italian. Hutch led her to a table on the other side of the room, at least he tried.

Georgia spotted Lele about halfway across the room. She knew this because halfway across the room, Georgia squealed and tugged Hutch in Lele’s direction. In a flash, they were at the table.

“Hi, you two! Fancy seeing you here! What a totally unplanned coincidence. Mind if we join you?” Georgia said.